Zaeed entered the room, caught off guard by the amount of bandages they had her covered in. He’d figured it’d been bad but not so… gruesome. Most of her face was alright, but her arms were mostly wrapped. The rest of her body was covered in a white blanket.

He took a seat next to her bed, grunting as he lowered himself down. He was still feeling the effects of the war. He counted himself as one of the lucky ones, to only come out with a few bullets and bruises. The silence of the room filled his head, interrupted only by the beeping and churning of monitors and machinery. She was asleep. The first time he’d seen her peaceful since the day she’d come charging into his life headfirst. He reclined in his seat and traced a finger over her bandaged hand. 

She stirred at the touch, moaning without opening her eyes. 

“Go back to sleep,” he growled, repeating the motion with his finger to calm her. “I’ll be here." 

She almost smiled. "So,” she forced out the word, cringing. “Am I a big-” she drew in a sharp breath, “goddamn hero?" 

He smiled, letting out a rough laugh into the quiet. Leaning over the bed, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. 

"The biggest." 

Everyone who dies fighting/ is killed is not a shaheed, we throw this term around too lightly these days and give everyone this highest honour as if we are the ones who accept deeds. We can’t even say a person is a mu'min (we can’t even say that we ourselves are mu'mins) so how can we testify to a person being a level far higher than that?
We can hope that a person died as a shaheed but at the end of the day, only Allah knows.

(oh my god this prompt. excuse me while i drown in a pool of tears your headcanon is perf. i kind of just took it and ran though because i’m a sucker for post me3 shepard-death feels so i hope my interpretation is okay!)

He’s glad Kaidan let him come by. Back when he was first starting out on the Normandy things were pretty hush hush about the kid with the wonky biotics. And when he did finally meet him, Zaeed was under the impression he wasn’t the most collected piece of work the Alliance ever pumped out. But war often brings people together. As does loss. And fuck if he’s not getting sentimental in his old age. Having a beer with a fellow comrade –and someone who knew Shepard as well as he did- isn’t an opportunity he passes up these days.

 Of course, Kaidan’s got kids now. So he’s understandably wary about having good old Uncle Zaeed with his tattoos and cigars and foul mouth in his house with a five year old and a four year old. So is his wife for that matter, but she tolerates him. She’s a pretty thing. Youthful, undamaged by the war. A ray of light that someone like Kaidan, with the shit he’s been through, deserves.

 Taking a long pull of his beer, Zaeed thinks about what it might have been like to live this sort of life. If Shepard had survived, would they have settled down like this in the recovering parts of the Earth? Pop out a couple of kids and watch the sunset and all that shit? The thought makes him chuckle. Probably not. Shepard would have been too goddamn stubborn to sit around on her ass while the world rebuilt itself. She’d be on some ship somewhere working herself to death. And he’d be right at her side, putting slugs through anything that stood in her path. As for the kids? Having them was something he never pictured for himself anyway. There hadn’t been time to talk about that kind of future when Shepard was still around, so he never knew how she felt about it. But she never seemed the type. Odds were, they’d be having a lot of rough, sweaty, mind-blowing sex instead. And satiate themselves by visiting everyone else’s kids, like he was now.

 Kaidan’s are damn cute. Zaeed’s always been under the impression they’re more damn trouble than their worth at this stage, but even his rusty old heartstrings get pulled when the littlest one climbs up on his lap and starts to trace his tattoos with a chubby finger. “Heya there, sweetheart,” he grumbles, popping her up a little on his knee. Kaidan smiles from the opposite chair. His daughter blinks up at Zaeed with these big, round eyes. They’re her Daddy’s, no doubt. A sting crosses his chest. Even though he was pretty sure he’d make a shitty father anyway, he couldn’t help thinking what his and Shepard’s kids might have looked like.

 Maybe they’d get her green eyes. Or her shock red hair. They’d be tough, punk ass kids no matter what they looked like, that was the only thing he knew for sure. Any product of his and Shepard’s relationship was usually volatile, kids wouldn’t have been any different. But Kaidan’s kids are like him. Soft-spoken. Good manners. Sharp as fucking tacks, too. The boy sits at his feet putting together an old model ship.

 “Uncle Z?” the girl asks, blinking those big doe-eyes up at him. He wonders how in the hell Kaidan ever manages to say no to a face like this.

 He gives her a little smirk in answer and then she surprises him.

 “Can you tell us a story about Commander Shepard?”

 With all the innocence she asks it with, she’d never know how direct a blow the question is. It’s been years and yet –memories still spark hot and vibrant in his head. Her touch. Her laugh. The arch of her neck. The way she held a gun. He’s never really come to terms with it, if he’s being honest. Doesn’t plan to, either. The pain is as sharp as ever. But he steels himself for the kid. From the corner of his eye, he notices Kaidan stiffen in his chair.

 “Carin,” he scolds her gently.

 But even the name, her name, still hurts him. Not that he called her by it much. Only in those brief, quiet moments when they were truly alone and no one else could feel how much their two sorry souls really loved each other.

 “What?” the little girl blinks, at a loss. She doesn’t understand. How could she?

Zaeed shakes his head with a little laugh, “Naw, s’alright. What do you want to know, baby girl?”

 The boy picks his head up then and sets the model ship down. He cocks his head, eyes flickering.

 “Daddy says she was a big hero,” he says.

 Kaidan smiles a little sadly and leans forward to brace his elbows on his knees. Zaeed smirks, mismatched eyes sliding to the floor for a moment to conceal the flood of pain that threatens to darken them. Fuck. Just when did he hit menopause exactly? He reigns in his emotions in the time it takes the boy to scoot a few feet closer to him and watch him expectantly. Zaeed raises his head, smirk still dutifully intact, and nods.

 “She was,” he murmurs. A big, goddamn hero. “You wanna hear about the time she took out a Reaper with nothin’ but the guns on her back?”

 Both of the kids start with excitement. Kaidan leans back with a smile that eases into one of content. He rests his beer on his thigh and looks like he’s just as ready to hear the story as his children are. Zaeed chuckles a little before he clears his throat and begins.

 “All right, so there I was on Rannoch…”

admthrawn asked:

Prompt: Zaeed's thoughts upon meeting Shepard for the first time.

“No one said you could talk, jackass.”

 He planted a boot in the batarian’s chest and gave a hard shove. The piece of shit coughed out a sound of pain and his head lolled to the side. Pansy ass. His eyes were still focused on someone over Zaeed’s shoulder. Just who the fuck was he talking to anyway?

 “You Zaeed Massani?”

 Zaeed straightened. He’d been in the business long enough to know that people who had the gall to address him by his full name usually weren’t fucking around. Although, the grit of the voice behind him intrigued him more than it warned. Distinctly female, but low, steady. Maybe a little hoarse around a few syllables and delivered with enough authority to make him turn around.  

 Ah. There was only one person it could be. He held is tongue while he set to work at observing her. He’d built a career off sizing people up on a first impression. You had to know if you could trust someone you were about to cut a deal with. He could often tell within the first few seconds of meeting someone if he trusted them to have a gun anywhere near his back. His mismatched eyes zeroed in on her. A muscle in his jaw tightened.

 Commander Shepard. Savior of the Citadel. The first human Spectre. Died once, he heard. Didn’t look like the event had shaken her up any. She was formidable, all right. Tight body all wrapped up in dark armor with an arsenal to boot. Her hair was glossy and black, pulled back from her face. He wondered vaguely about what she might look like with it down. Probably half-way decent, he’d wager, as it would probably take care of the giant stick up her ass.

 Her eyes flickered blue on red, the heat from which matched a multitude of angry scars strewn across her face. Her gaze seemed to challenge him. Take a good look, buddy. So he did. All the way up and down the illustrious Commander. Nice mouth. Nice legs. Nicer tits. Tall. Well-built. Raw power coiled in every limb. Truth be told, he’d been expecting some beauty queen. The way the Alliance had her image thrown up all fucking around, they made her out to be some precious goddamn angel. Her voice on sponsor ads was light and sweet. Her scars edited out. Her height understated. But this thing was no angel. This woman looked like she could break even the likes of him in half with her bare hands.

 And damn if he didn’t find that fucking intriguing.

 “Yeah. That’s me. You must be Commander Shepard,” he growled and then smirked at the prospect, “I hear we have a galaxy to save.”

missdewitts asked:

"Shit, are you bleeding?!" + shep/zaeed ayyyy

The dust cleared around them. Shepard barked a laugh, white teeth gleaming against the dark pallor of her skin. Next to her, Zaeed tossed a clip from his shotgun with what might have counted as a victorious grunt. “Goddamn bastards,” he said almost fondly to the Collector corpses cooling on the ground below. 

“That felt good,” Shepard sighed, holstering her rifle onto her back. Zaeed snuck a look at her. Nothin’ better than the illustrious Commander Shepard flushed from battle. He wasn’t going to miss out on the sight. Though, while he went looking for her rouged cheeks and flashing eyes, his gaze snagged on something wet and red. 

“Shit, are you bleeding?!” he asked, almost like he couldn’t believe it. Shepard spent so much goddamn time using her tactical cloak and rolling out of enemy fire he’d almost clear forgotten she could bleed. 

At the accusation, Shepard looked down at her side. She opened her mouth to contradict him but stopped at the harsh color pooling under her hardsuit. Ah, okay, now she felt it. Her post-battle adrenaline rush dropped away in an instant and the new pain of the wound buckled one of her legs. “Yup,” she said through gritted teeth, planting one knee into the ground.

“Fucking hell,” Zaeed growled. He closed the distance between them and holstered his gun on his hip. His omni-tool flashed as he reached for her, preparing an application of medi-gel. “That’s what you goddamn get for tryin’ to go toe to toe with Harbinger.”

“Don’t lecture me, Massani,” she hissed out. 

“And don’t lip the man administering your medi-gel,” he snarled. The medi-gel released with a cool hiss and he watched closely as the relief ran over her face. Some part of him was relieved too, though he exhaled what might have been a sigh through his nostrils instead. 

She placed a hand on his arm as soon as she was able to stand but he helped her to her feet anyway. They stared at each other for a moment, some kind of energy building, before breaking apart and snapping the tension in half. Zaeed growled under his breath. If it was that easy for a Collector to get under her armor, why hadn’t he yet?

richardalperts asked:

do you have any shepard/zaeed fic recs bc im trash and i

omgg you are the best kind of trash i will live in a dumpster w/ you 

um i’m actually really awful at fic recs because i don’t read a lot ?? idk why like i love writing but i never get around to reading shit buuuut i know joelmillers is a fellow shipper and has some good stuff and so does jubilteese

sorry i am the trashiest trash ever!!! i am no help at all

but if anyone has any good reads send them to me and i’ll put them up somewhere because i would def love to read some more 

omfgh yESSS! 150% agree! i honestly can’t picture a paragon shep with zaeed. they’d clash too much~~

which is why this is so fun because i like nevernevernever play renegade!shep or write renegade!shep so it’s like THIS WHOLE NEW BEAUTIFUL WORLD FULL OF OPPORTUNITES FOR A LOT OF HOT ANGRY ROUGH DIRTY SEX SCENES

i mean. exploring their characters. of course. 

theinvisiblequestion asked:

i don't remember if i mentioned this before, but you know that shaeed ficlet you posted approximately an aeon ago? it made me ship shaeed so hard i started a ~time travel~ fic in which shepard travels back in time, accidentally gets caught up in blue suns shenanigans, meets past!zaeed, and tries to prevent galactic destruction by fucking with the spacetime continuum. i'm not sure if she does or not, but there's gonna be a metric fucktonne of shaeed action.