shadowsofsunshine

shadowsofsunshine asked:

Part one on however much i wanna write today. -> Well. You've been gone long enough. You need to come back now. BECAUSE I MISS YOU. So... end this trip soon or else, i'll just explode and kidnap all of your favorite youtubers / actors / british people and i will just bring them into a black hole where there is THE biggest party ever on the other side and i'll just be chilling with Charlie and Dan and Alex, and Phil and Karen and Arthur Darvill and also Michael, PJ and Chris and everyone

And part two of how many i have the inspiration to write. -> and we’ll just look through everyone on tumblr shitting bricks because they disappeared and i’m gonna drink champagne and tea with them. And they will perform shows all the time to me, and we’ll dance and make videos in a parallel universe where you won’t be BECAUSE YOU AREN’T BACK YET AND I MISS YOU OKÉ ? Yeah. So, come back before I create the biggest mess ever by stealing every youtubers i / you like. That is all i had to say.

Dude I missed you so much too.  This sounds amazing omg. Let’s do this.  Also one of the girls in my trip was from Montreal and spoke French as her first language and she reminded me of you ;)

shadowsofsunshine asked:

I kinda enjoyed your forever alone story. Except i'm " kinda " sad for you. And you won't be forever alone. You'll get out of there, eventually. And believe me, you don't wanna rush into boyfriends things. I've had some and and i was still too young and it broke me so much. :). As i see it, the more you wait, the more your first relationship is going to be overwhelmingly-nice. ( i probably just invented a new word, yeah ! ) The more grown up you are, the more chances your relation's gonna work.

That can be both true and false statements.
Look at it this way- I’m 19, with no real experience in life.
My childhood was taken away from me, and as a teenager I feel like a 30 year old. I have no friends, or fun events to attend, and I’m emotionally unstable sometimes, I’ve got depression and anxiety problems, and my only true supporter is 4 hours away from me. -_-

If I go into a relationship now there’s SO MUCH less I’ve learned.
My first real boyfriend vs. me being his 34786th girlfriend?
Sounds shitty to me. Inevitably I’ll be the one making mistakes and being stupid and acting like a child.


ALSO~ on a side note….
I’ve had a few really serious encouters with men that were forceful and scary and I’m kind of afraid of guys. I’m not gay, but in person, if I’m alone with a guy, I will freak the fuck out just because of past trauma in situations like that….

shadowsofsunshine asked:

what do you mean by " really " had one. I'm curious ! =D

‘Takes a bit of a rant to explain so sorry in advance.

I had really strict parents growing up.
They both grew up in the middle east but I was born and raised in Michigan… So it was pretty much just a huge culture clash type thing. Their parenting style sucked and I feared them instead of trusting them. I wasn’t allowed to date so I never really did. Although I do admit to online dating one guy who lived close by but we never met. Now that I’m 18 it doesn’t make a difference. My father passed away and my mom is still crazy strict. As long as I live here, I have to follow her rules. If I get kicked out I’ll have no where to go…. So that’s my forever-alone story. I hope you enjoyed.