You’re too in it to see how “inconvenient” it is for you to get healthy.

lol who doesn’t like to ‘trip’ thru Craigslist for various 'Fallacies of Reference’ allowing for the illusion any particular post was made 'just for you’ (which of course, in a sense, it truly was… but let’s not get carried away (???) :-) - STN

Fort Cronkhite/ “So Close” - w4m - 52 (castro / upper market)

Yes, I know there is beauty in you. 
We are really at a place where we’re not capable of communication.
I have felt this for years already. And I have missed you. I have been open and ready to work through our issues and the things that impede our moving on; I know that I need help in this realm and for 2 years my invitation stood open to you to meet with me and a facilitator. You would not. This, I understand, as you are threatened and not ready to look at yourself. After over 2 years, I have acquiesced, willing to take a risk and meet you on my own. 
And then, the way this “miss” occurred, I can only interpret as the universe taking care of me. There are so many things I would like to try to express to you but I don’t know that you are able to hear them. I’m not sure I know how to say them.
It’s twisted the way you make like I rejected you in our story. Like you don’t get that in order to go cold-turkey clean and sober, I had to walk away from the entire lifestyle; you, being the center of it. You don’t seem to understand that the times during our “relationship” when I wouldn’t see you, it was because I found out about you f*cking yet another one and when I asked you to get STDtested, you would not; you continued to have sex with your other partners and let the time between us getting back together lapse. This happened more than once. That’s not me rejecting you; that’s you rejecting me. I could go on.
I’ve taken responsibility for my life. I really hope you don’t continue to introduce girls/women to the “sh*t” just for your selfish pleasure. (Imagine someone doing it to your daughter.) You see, we have a lot of issues to work through, you & me. Even though you’re my pusher and I had to get away from you, and you act all hurt now, I still see the beauty in you. I still know that there are unique and special things about you that are being stunted more and more the longer you stay chained to the habit.
Who the f*ck am I to talk to you like this? Why does it have to be such an issue between us? Because I’m clean and so on the alert for tripping up.
Because you finally realized I’m special, Mr. Sweet, not just pussy; because we connected and I saw everything, and I got away and we still have respect for each other. Because I’m your soul-wife.
Do you remember when you had the nerve to ask me to “marry” you? Ouch. Do you know you left me with the impression that you wanted to work on yourself and were planning on cleaning up?
Do you know that the last time I was at your Mom’s house 2 summers ago she tried to fix me up with a male friend of hers? Totally caught me off guard. Never understood that one.
It makes me sad the way she goes to her Al-Anon meetings yet is totally co-dependent with you and keeps you chained.
I know it can appear that she’s helping you out, that you guys have a mutually beneficial relationship, but there’s other ways it can be viewed too. Ways that could never be spoken aloud because they would be so utterly threatening and infuriating. You’re too in it to see how “inconvenient” it is for you to get healthy. She wouldn’t want to see how she’s the enabler.
But, do you plan to continue on like this forever, using and living under your mom’s roof? 
What about in a couple years when your daughter is likely gone from grandma’s house? Then you’ll be able to be Lord of the Underground 24/7. But nothing can grow in the dark; nothing evolves or changes. Except for maybe some additions to the trophy pictures of sexual conquests on the walls. It is said that a person remains stunted emotionally at the age that they were when their addiction started. 
Look, I know I’m no walk in the park. I’ve got a whole lot of issues. Being clean and sober is so hard. So hard. You might be surprised to know that I’ve been on disability the past 2 years with PTSD. Ya, I have mental health issues, which I doubt is news to you.
And I have such a big secret, bruno. A secret that would really only have meaning to you. It’s rather painful for me to carry it around, getting heavier and heavier by the day. It’s a secret involving you.
Now, about all that texting stuff you recently wrote. Some of what you said about my opinions is just completely wrong. I’m afraid your texting spree there came off a bit unhinged and tweaky and it just scared me. And I don’t know how to respond to that. I am so sorry.
I know you think you’re trapped. I know how hard it is to undo. Even tho your denial seems to include that I ever had a problem. Admittedly, my problem was tiny compared to yours, and for the longest time, I didn’t even understand what was happening to me. But, there’s so much you don’t know and didn’t want to know. There were some serious problems and they were directly related to you and the sh*t.
Look, I know you don’t want this to be an issue between us but you’ve got to understand, it’s a huge elephant and there’s no chance of connection/communication for us until it is addressed and dealt with.
Who else in your life gives a f*ck whether or not you’re clean? In fact, I’d wager, most everyone (except your daughter) in your life benefits from you being addicted. That’s how much they have your best interests at heart.
No one else in your life will ever tell you this shit.
Just this ball-breakin bitch who’s about to fall away from your life…. again.
If you ever feel you are ready to meet me on some of my terms, you know how to reach me.
I love you.

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Conceptual photographs by Martin Vlach. The artist digitally merges his own photography with elements of nature to create surreal, atmospheric scenes that feel both isolating and mysterious.


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And I said, “Lord, before Satan fell, what was his glory beside your father’s?”

And he told me, “Such was his glory that he governed the virtues of heaven.

As for me, I sat next to my father. Satan was the master of all those who imitated the father, and his power descended from the sky to the inferno and rose again from the inferno to the throne of the invisible father. And he observed the glory of him who transformed the skies. And he dreamed of placing his seat on the clouds of heaven, because he wanted to be like the very high.

Then, having descended into the air, he said to the angel of the air, "Open the gates of the air for me.”

And the angel opened the gates of the air.

And he went on his way to the bottom. There he found the angel who guarded the waters, and he said to him, “Open the gates of the waters for me.”

And the angel opened the gates of the waters.

Going ahead, he found the whole face of the earth and saw two fish who were stretched over the waters. They were like two oxen joined together for plowing and, at the invisible father’s order, they held up the earth, from sunset to sunrise.

When he descended farther down, he found himself in the presence of clouds weighing on the tidal waves of the sea. He went on until he got to his ossop, which is the principle of fire.

After that he could not descend farther because of the intense flame of the fire. Then Satan came in from behind and filled his own heart with malice, and reaching the angel of the air and the one who was above the waters, he said to them,“Everything belongs to me. If you listen to me, I will place my seat on the clouds and I shall be similar to the very high. I will withdraw the waters of the upper firmament and assemble all the areas occupied by the sea into one entity of vast seas. That done, there will be no water on the face of the entire earth, and I shall reign with you through the centuries of the centuries.”

After he said this, the angel Satan rose toward the other angels to the fifth heaven, and to each of them he said, “How much do you owe your masters?”

“One hundred measures of wheat,” one of them answered.

“Take pen and ink,” he said to him, “and write forty.”

He told the others, “And you, how much do you owe the lord?”

“One hundred jars of oil,” he answered him.

“Sit down,” Satan said to him, “and write fifty.”

He climbed into the skies, and with such words seduced the angels of the invisible father up to the fifth heaven.


The Gospel of the Secret Supper: translated by Willis Barnstone, from the French translation

by Rene Nelli, Ecritures cathares, 146.

Suha Catman writes via Deviant Art and translated by Google Translate:

Is defined as the name of one of the types of people live , it is very bent on love . The human species has become something to be said for all the love and sexuality . Subject is as old as the universe continues to race in the taking of this species is similar .

Another type of animals that live in the rhetoric on this issue has been found yet . Animals feel to them , such as their nature will love and sexuality . This situation is very accurate and timely detection and the type of people “ like animals ,” he said . There is no limit animal world of animal love and sexuality . Even there is no rule . Who likes each other just go together. This is the work “ place and time ” do not. Place, any place, at any time, tune in. souls .

Animals warn each other , there is no requirement to drive special clothing using . For instance, do not wear linen leopard leopards never . Because leopard leopard in itself . Yet these do not exist to warn partner leopards The reasons that people wearing patterned linen , yedirememelerine bağlanabilirHayvanların never happen to them in the world to be so ugly that there is no adultery . Because for them , “ his wife will not be with someone else ,” he there is no rule . All this is a requirement of their natures . The situations in which a lot of people called the species of animals - but I just mentioned it - that “freedom” is the concept çağrıştırmaz ?

However, the situation is somewhat different in some animal species . For example, members of some bird species , never with others, do not they lose their wives . This state of the human species “loyalty ” as the names .

One of the strains of the human species have sexual intercourse with someone who takes care of a large number of men will even idealized . Although uncommon , common to many species of animals other than human thing they do when they come together in the men’s interminable conversations about sex . Tigers do not prefer to speak about it many hundreds of times a day establish a sexual relationship . Seeing this, the most important difference between human, animal, tiger hunt immediately by running his penis in your mind ! Thus, his life will be able to have sex with a total of more than a few minutes . Thinks he or she is . His descendants of tigers having sex more than a few minutes worth fall risk .

You see , the most important difference that separates the human animal, the use of mind-blowing , hayvanlarınsa “mind the fact that mind is something that hurt ,” he ’s reflection . On the other hand believes that there is something absurd reason a man hunt for the tiger , his caring obtain any property , not just the moment to adopt the ordinary reasons , such as filling one’s belly is carried out or defend himself . Because the tiger as human beings do not mind . Until this day the baby is already biting the human brain , nor any other animal, the tiger did what .

While the Lions exhibits a strange behavior . Despite ongoing research, people insist on this type of behavior has been found yet . Lion likes to be with each other, the pair decided immediately separated from the herd . They remain alone for about a week . Studies have documented that up here in the part of the human species . What is this place for a week , but the lions , nor drink , just make love . Moreover, close to 100 a day, repeat it . So the only thing that they make love for a week …

Examples of this subject is too far from the world of animals , but it will not fit in here . Sex in the near future due to the strength of the human species tigers aspired intelligent animal species in which mindless ambitious in this regard is unknown, but is no longer consumed emulate offspring known by everyone.

On the other hand people are short enough to be referred to by the type of clocks in life , even that short life span of butterflies that love nothing more than people not living species has not been proven yet . Flying butterflies mating bed or the like may be to degrade the human speciesthat depend on ? Research on this subject is in progress.

In common with the animals , of course there are also the people about their sexuality . For example, the most important thing in common masturbation. Both species masturbate .

The only difference is about masturbation , sexual behavior of animals move into a lifestyle not bring in outside areas …