sexy-panda

EXO THEN AND NOW (OT12)

baekhyun:

then: eyeliner baekhyun

now: suggestively talking about interesting topics, a favourite is sehun’s dick

chanyeol:

then: big ears guy

now: killing all the fangirls’ ovaries with every new haircolour 

jongdae:

then: weird hair dude

now: fucking blessed vocals man

kyungsoo:

then: short guy

now: national representative of satan’s human organization

jongin:

then: dreadlocks man

now: innocently sexy ass fine man dancer that should do underwear modelling

yifan:

then: actual wolf

now: proud actor that constantly needs juice and is about that 666

yixing:

then: underrated little precious lamb

now: actual precious little lamb secret playboy dancing queen sexy man

luhan:

then: exo’s resident cute schoolgirl

now: autotuned moaning and literal sex 

sehun:

then: exo’s short cutie, innocent little highschooler boy

now: fucking model, should also do underwear modelling, very tall

junmyeon:

then: exo’s very shy mother

now: $udaddy will sue you if you fuck with him, exo’s soccer mom

tao:

then: kungfu panda 

now: sexy panda that doesn’t gIVE A SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIT

minseok:

then: fluffy baozi that gives free hugs

now: actual xiudaddy, gets you pregnant through your lonely computer monitor

WHEN YOU STAN EXO (OT12):

warning: this is a fucking long post because i didn’t have any motivation to make a smut today and because it sure looks like you guys would like it so here make sure you pass around some holy water bc you’re gonna need it 


baekhyun: 

  • don’t even try leaving the exo fandom at this point
  • and don’t you even dare sass baekhyun
  • you should either open a blog dedicated to his left big toe
  • or open a pinterest board with 3000k+ pins dedicated to his right big toe
  • make sure you appreciate those vocals
  • because if you don’t someone else will
  • also the more you venture into the fandom
  • the more your ovaries (even if you don’t have any) will throb and eventually explode into a million cells

chanyeol:

  • you’ll fall in love with his baby face
  • but then
  • the deep manly voice of his is literal sex
  • and get used to him being tortured and half of you wanting to save him but the other half wanting kyungsoo to pull off his pants jfc
  • and when he dies his hair black get ready for the rest of the chanyeol stans to die immediately one by one
  • and when you hear his laugh just know that there’s no escape
  • you will hunt and kill for another chanyeol laugh compilation
  • and start tagging your posts with anything related to his ears

jongdae:

  • firstly those vocals are just literal sex
  • you’ll start trying to deny the fact that xiuchen is just another ship
  • but then deep down inside in the abyss of your kpop heart you’ll secretly think that it’s the softest thing ever
  • know that if you find another jongdae stan you should embrace them
  • stan xiumin and the rest of the beagle line just because you know that they make him happy and you want him to be happy
  • if you ever search for some high quality shows that he has been on then know that happy camp is literally just an hour of laughs
  • try your best to make those high quality jongdae memes of yours
  • set his dino scream as your ringtone bc it will give you eargasm while you’re seated on the throne

kyungsoo:

  • appreciate his height
  • support his fucking career because he deserves it
  • know your lane and stay in it
  • don’t try leaving the fandom because when they drop a sneaky winter album you’ll be pulled right back in
  • don’t bother commenting on those youtube videos “kyungsoo vs (other main vocalist of other group)” because you know deep inside who you stan
  • be prepared to sacrifice your soul and your emotions and your love for other idols to satan because he will just happy take everything from you
  • but then know that you’re giving everything you have to a squishy lil angel demon so you won’t feel as guilty
  • get thirsty over those lips too

jongin:

  • okay so first appreciate dancing that’s a no brainer
  • but then rEALLY appreciate his dancing because he fucking killed one of those lady robots in lucky one with his dancing
  • so his dancing is no joke
  • but then start daydreaming every 0.21 seconds about how great he is with kids and how great of a father he’d be
  • feel yourself drink a litre of water every thirty minutes bECAUSE you’re so t hir st y
  • so now proceed to look up some random kinky ass shit smut about him getting you pregnant and him being the perfect dad ever
  • and just appreciate his hair because you’ll never know what the actual fuck sm is gonna do with his hair each comeback
  • and if you ship kaisoo there’s no going back

kris:

  • okay so listen to every single song he was ever in
  • now proceed to support and download every song he’s made
  • watch him on happy camp laughing at tao wanting to shower with him because just be honest it was cute
  • start feeling very emotional because you feel yourself drifting further and further away from him
  • look up pictures of him with his hair shaved off and have mixed feelings
  • but know deep down inside that he’ll still be the fucking king because he can rock any hairstyle without shame
  • throw all your anger in a rant dissing everything 
  • still talk about his attractiveness and how he looked like a manga boy

yixing:

  • support him no matter what the fuck happens
  • watch go fighting and appreciate the fact that he just loves his fans
  • you’re never gonna get sick of him being innocent and naive 
  • but then you’re also never gonna get sick of him doing those sexy floor humps on stage while junmyeon proceeds to pull him off leaving you thirsty for more and ruining your search history
  • if you find another yixing stan know that you can obsess over his cuteness and innocence together
  • inevitably crash and read some smut of fluff about him because we all know that they’re gonna be cute af
  • have a hard time finding yixing merch because apparently outside of asia he’s underrated af and it h urts so badly
  • get pissed at how unappreciated he is and proceed to love him more

luhan:

  • know that if you compliment his appearance people that aren’t familiar with kpop will probably think he’s a girl
  • which isn’t really a bad thing
  • try out all the bubble tea recommendations he makes
  • listen to all of his new hit songs because they’re fucking amazing 
  • don’t ever regret stanning exo because you know that he’s still on good terms with most of the members
  • squee at how he and yixing met and laughed with each other earlier this year in 2017 and it gave you life
  • appreciate his beauty of both inside and out
  • keep drooling

junmyeon:

  • you will inevitably start liking girl group dances
  • you’ll feel embarrassed whenever junmyeon does anything but you’ll love him even more for that
  • you’ll constantly feel the need to protect him from the other stans
  • you just want him to be happy and stress free
  • you hate it when people say you only stan him because he’s rich because they’re too narrow minded to see his real charms
  • you want him to baby you as much as he babies the other members
  • one day you’ll have enough and explode ranting about how underappreciated junmyeon is in the fandom and people will be scared
  • but you’ll never stop loving him for being a dork

sehun:

  • firstly just appreciate that sebooty
  • there’s no denying that his ass is just a piece of art
  • when you watch videos from mama era to now you’ll be both baffled and emotional about how much he’s grown and changed
  • keep up with the latest fashion trends because now that he’s a fashion icon in korea you beTTEr pAY FUCKING ATTENTION
  • deep in your heart somewhere you’ll still love hunhan a lil bit
  • when he yehets you will ohorat as first nature
  • when someone talks shit about sehun you will automatically jump into defense mode
  • don’t even try stanning someone else bc you’ll feel immense guilt

tao:

  • you’ll start daydreaming about having a shower with the sexy sexy shower panda tao tao
  • when you do shower you’ll start imagining him in there with you
  • you’ll probably only care about tao and nobody else which isn’t a bad thing
  • but if you do stan someone else too that means that you’ll be battling an eternal war with yourself and eventually cry in a pool of regret
  • you embrace the badass side of tao and love reading smut about dom tao
  • but then again you also embrace the preteen girly side of tao about giggle when you see him get embarrassed about dropping his wushu stick on weekly idol
  • don’t be fooled by that face of an assassin
  • the voice that goes with it is the voice of a girl going through puberty and it’s just beautiful

minseok:

  • you will be super proud of him for hitting those hot ass high notes 
  • and at the same time you’ll be highkey pissed about him not having enough lines despite that skill
  • you’ll see a cute picture of him and aww loudly
  • but then you’ll see a hot picture and automatically start getting thirsty
  • and then you’ll be confused and at war based on which one you like more aND YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO FUNCTION
  • so like one day you’ll be drinking your nice tea/coffee/mainstream hot drink of choice and you’ll just spit it all out without warning
  • because minseok is just incredibly sexy without warning
  • which causes your fangirl senses to literally die

m-00m  asked:

BN was in jail, right?Why he don't hurt Blood?Panda you are so cute! how can a thing like you be nice and sexy at the same time?

BN:yeah, I was locked in jail and then I was forced to go to school because I was told I had to integrate myself….I never wanted to hurt anyone… that’s why I did not hurt Bloody,and I’m not nice and I’m not sexy, I’m a psycho-panda

me, looking at WoW art:

why is that..panda..sexy??

me, looking at my own soul: 

why do you think the panda is sexy

me, looking in a mirror:

i’m a god damn furry aren’t i

**FIRST LET ME TAKE A SELFIE SELCA**

#photoshoot with the panda be like


normal selca with weird FAB-U-LOUS leg position  

Addition of le sexy finger 

Nah that was too sexy… mid sexy will do…don’t want to kill ma fangirls

#CONTROL YOUR SEXY PANDA POWERS

That you’re not wearing gucci, get out look

#judging you 

*looks away* I don’t even want to see your peasant clothing  

And concluding the shoot, oh the irony, by shooting all the haters

A day in the life of tao..

EXO M: Reaction: When someone interrupts your sexy time.

Xiumin

*Having sexy time in your brand new apartment when the other members lock themselves into your apartment, and heard the screaming and banging from a certain room. They barged in, thinking something was wrong*

“So, would you like to watch or..?” 

Tao:

*You guys just started. You were alone in the house (at least that’s what you thought). When his mom, and what looked like the new owners of the house came crashing in*

“Hi mom.. Hi people. Don’t worry, i’m taking this bed with me”

Lay:

*You finally convinced to be a bit more dominant in bed. He was really rough, until your cat sat on the other side of the window glass*

“Oh my god, Mr. Unicorn! I’m so sorry! I promise i will never do this whenever you’re around!”


Chen

*You and Chen had been sneaking around, hiding your relationship from his manager, he hid himself to bust you two. Even though Chen saw his manager barge in, he just kept thrusting*

“Can’t you see i’m in the middle of something? So rude”

Luhan:

*You and Luhan were kinky that night and you cuffed him to the bed. By mistake, Sehun came home early and saw you two*

“No wait, Sehun! She means nothing to me!”

Kris:

*You haven’t seen each other for two months and were deeply into each other when Baekhyun barged in not giving one f** what you were up to*

Baek: “Guys, this shirt or this?”

*Thrusting*

Baek: “Fine..”

Kris: “Did you hear something jagi?

youtube

SEUNGRI “Who’s your favorite of BIGBANG? It’s important to me!”

THE BEST VIDEO ON YOUTUBE LITERALLY I watched this like a million times still crying and giggling like a fool . “ I just freaking love Seungri”””