Sherlock S4E2: EVERYTHING IS A PLOT TWIST AND IM TIRED, Moffat attempts to prove he’s not a misogynist with witty lines and more plot twists, meanwhile he introduces another female character who’s entire existence seems to revolve around the male protagonists, Sherlock hugs John because we still need the shippers but don’t be fooled they’re both very heterosexual and need to sext women sometimes and that’s ok (even if married and ooc), men need to beat each other up before they can talk about their feelings™ and much more
On the bright side, Mrs Hudson drives a red Aston Martin
Got tagged by @gaybreadboys to do the OTP ask meme with the lovable dOughTP bread bois
Which one sexts like a straight white boy?
Both, they’re both awkward horny men who love to experiment and try new things. Though Kareem’s sexts tend to be the more embarrassing ones. “sit on my face you disgusting whore” suddenly pops up in Sammy’s phone during work day
Which one cried during a fucking disney movie?
Kareem. He’ll never admit it.
Who put a goddamned fork in the microwave?
Sammy and he’s a nervous wreck about it for the rest of the day
Who does the silly hands-over-the-eyes “Guess who” thing?
Usually Kareem on Sammy, he just loves the reaction of his adorable chubby bf. When Sammy does that, Kareem being a jumpy fuck freaks out and screams like a lil girl and might even punch someone near so Sammy’s not too fond of doing it
Who puts their cold hands/feet on their partner?
Usually Sammy to tease Kareem, but they both might start a “cold hands/feet on your skin” battle
Who had that embarrassing Reality TV marathon?
Kareem when he’s determined to know which dumb woman in Big Brother is the one to drop out next
Who laughs more during sex?
Both, they just love sex with each other that much and it’s hard for either to keep serious
WHO IS THE LITTLE SPOON?
who hogs the duvet
Kareem, and oh boy does it tick Sammy off
who texts/rings to check how their day is going
Both do it pretty equally.
who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts
Both can be creative when they try, usually Sammy puts more thought into gifts though.
who gets up first in the morning
Sammy. Never interrupt Kareem’s 11 AM beauty sleep or he’ll wake up as a grumpy monster
who suggests new things in bed
Both. Kinky fucks
who cries at movies
who gives unprompted massages
Both. Sammy when he thinks Kareem should ease it down, and Kareem when Sammy is being a nervous and stressed bab
who fusses over the other when they’re sick
Kareem. Oh boy, does he. “calm down already Kareem, it’s just a cold I have, not cancer”
who gets jealous easiest
who has the most embarrassing taste in music
Both. Sammy loves classical music and Kareem listens to Saudi-Arabic ballads
who collects something unusual
Sammy. Be it coins or stamps etc. he likes to keep stuff in order
who takes the longest to get ready
Kareeeeeeeeem, spending 2 hours combing his goatee in the bathroom
who is the most tidy and organised
Both are pretty organized. Out of the two Sammy more though, Kareem is a spoiled brat who expects everything to get done for him itself
who gets most excited about the holidays
who is the big spoon/little spoon
Big spoon Kareem, lil spoon Sammy, definitely. Who wouldn’t want to cuddle that jiggly big belly
who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports
Neither are very sporty persons but if you push them to play pingis against each other, both would get determined as hell to win the other, to the level that “let’s say it’s a draw, you two have been playing for 4 hours straight, the place is closing” isn’t an option anymore
who starts the most arguments
who suggests that they buy a pet
Sammy notices Kareem is looking at the cute doggies in the pet store with an adoring lil face, and with a smug smile he decides immediately what to give his muslim bf for birthday.
what couple traditions they have
They cuddle a lot to watch and laugh at bad horror movies together.
what tv shows they watch together
Bad horror movies, reality TV, dumb sitcoms, occassionally good movies
what other couple they hang out with
Frank and Brenda + Teresa are the most common ones, being their best friends. Sometimes with Hummus and his multiple gfs. In family meetings obviously Baba and Gefilte
how they spend time together as a couple
They take walks together, argue and discuss hot topic stuff, sometimes go to road trips. Usual stuff what 30-year-old men in love would do in their free time.
who made the first move
“I’m very conflicted about how I’m supposed to feel watching this.” “Then don’t just watch.” “W-wait a second, what are you doing?”
who brings flowers home
Sammyyyyyy, he’s always more open about his feelings while Kareem is an awkward tsundere
who is the best cook
Sammy in my human AU owns a kosher bakery and Kareem always expected to have a wife (77 extra virgins) cooking for him, so obviously Sammy is the one to cook. He cooks well and even knows to buy all meat halal for Kareem