At 11 o’clock at night, you moved across the train car to sit far too close to two girls about half your age so you could interrupt our conversation to tell us how pretty we are. We said thank you, have a good night, and went back to our conversation.
You interrupted us a second time to say that you didn’t want to bother us, but we needed to hear it, how pretty we are. We said cool, thanks, have a good night, and went back to our conversation.
You interrupted us a third time to say you wouldn’t say anything else, you didn’t want to bother us, you just had to let us know. We said have a good night, and went back to our conversation.
This seemed to perplex you. You came all that way across a train car to bestow upon us this life altering knowledge - the fact we were pretty - and all you got was a polite thank you? You grumbled about gratitude, about how you better not end up on facebook, were we putting you on facebook? Why was my friend looking at her phone? Was she putting you on facebook? All you’d done was tell us we were pretty.
At this point, my friend says, “Sir, we’re trying to have a conversation. Please don’t be disrespectful.”
This was when you got angry. Disrespectful? YOU? For taking the time out of your day to tell us we were pretty? Did we know we were pretty?
“Yes, we knew,” says my friend.
Well, that was the last straw. How dare we know we were pretty! Sure, you were allowed to tell us we were pretty, but we weren’t allowed to think it independently, without your permission! And if we had somehow already known - perhaps some other strange man had informed us earlier in the day - we certainly weren’t allowed to SAY it! Where did we get off, having confidence in ourselves? You wanted us to know we were pretty, sure, but only as a reward for good behavior. We were pretty when you gifted it upon us with your words, and not a moment before! You raged for a minute about how horrible we were for saying we thought we were pretty, how awful we turned out to be.
I took a page out of your book and interrupted you. “Sir, you said you wouldn’t say anything else, and then you kept talking,” I said. “You complimented us, we said thank you, and we don’t owe you anything else. It’s late, you’re a stranger, and I don’t want to talk to you. We’ve tried to disengage multiple times but you keep bothering us.”
At this point, our train pulled into the next stop. My friend suggested we leave, so we got up and went to the door.
Seeing your last chance, you lashed out with the killing blow. “I was wrong!” you shouted at us as we left, “You’re ugly! You’re both REALLY UGLY!”
Fortunately, since our worth as human beings is in no way dependent upon how physically attractive you find us, my friend and I were unharmed and continued on with our night. She walked home; I switched to the next train car and sat down.
So, strange man, I know you’re confused. I don’t know if you’ll think about anything I said to you, but I hope you do learn this: when you give someone something - a gift, a compliment, whatever - with stringent stipulations about how they respond to it, you are not giving anything. You are setting a trap. It is not as nice as you think it is.
But you’ll be happy to know that when I sat down in the next car, a strange man several seats over called, “Hey, pretty girl. Nice guitar. How was your concert?”
“Thanks. Good,” I said, then looked away and put on my headphones, the universal sign for ‘I’d like to be left alone.’
I have never heard anyone say that about a man — he’s over-prepared for a debate or the job. And we have to look at society and go, why is society telling women to not show up over-prepared? Not to be treated equal. Not to ask for more. Not to be ambitious. What’s wrong with trying hard and showing up and being good at your job? We really need to look at ourselves and say we need to reevaluate this. We need to reevaluate that women who ask for a pay raise or ask for a promotion — it’s actually an okay thing. It’s okay to be ambitious, it’s okay to be over-prepared.
How dare she reject you? How dare she not want to give you her number? So you can study ‘Alone. Together.’ How dare she nicely reject you by saying she has a boyfriend so you don’t feel bad about yourself? You’re ‘fucking sick and tired’ of women saying that they have a boyfriend so you’ll leave them alone? Maybe women are ‘fucking sick and tired’ of most men thinking that they are entitled to a woman. Maybe women are ‘fucking sick and tired’ of having to claim they have a boyfriend as it’s the only way most men will leave them alone. This video was put up to ‘expose’ the girl but in reality it actually exposed OckTV for being self-entitled trash.
one thing i find weird and creepy af in the art world is all the generically pretty young white female faces everywhere??? like who tf is this unrecognizable beautiful woman with no characteristics people keep drawing from memory?? and when was the last time you saw a generically handsome male face without a corresponding model in reality being used as decoration???
Story time: The Day I Blocked my Grandmother on Facebook
Setting the scene: My grandmother is a very conservative lady who thinks sexism is over because women can vote, racism is over because we elected a black president, the gays have an agenda, the muslims are taking over, and that global warming doesn’t exist, NASA and the UN are just in cahoots with the Japanese who invented the idea for profit (???). My grandmother has a facebook and because she’s retired and has nothing better to do she likes to reblog usually completely false or misrepresented information in the form of alt-right articles/memes all day long. I unfollowed her. The problem, though, is that if I like or comment on any of my friends posts about, say, concern RE Trump’s education/environmental/healthcare policies, she feels the need to comment. When I or one of my friends give her evidence that her claims are incorrect, or her news sources unreliable, she either stops posting, or accuses us of being brainwashed by the liberal media (yes, she includes research/statistics published by NASA as “liberal media”). Fun. Over the past few days she’s been in high form with all the women’s march photos going around (they have the right to vote what more do they want?, they don’t have jobs, they hate men, they’re all there because they want abortions and handouts), so my patience was already wearing thin. Which brings us to today.
The day begins when I like a friends post about the pro-life movement perhaps being more effective if they A. advocated for scientifically accurate sexual education and B. stopped trying to shut down Planned Parenthood, because they they provide a massive amount of both education and easily accessible contraceptives. Grandma jumps in to say that PP “primarily provides abortions.” I respond with evidence to the contrary. She changes her argument. “Well abortions shouldn’t be federally funded anyway.” I provide evidence that they haven’t been for a while and that federal funds used by PP are allocated for other services, while private funding is used for abortions. “Well I don’t trust them. They’re sneaky and are probably using federal funds anyway.” Ok, grandma.
At lunch she finds a new thread to comment on, a meme about “alternative facts” in which she claims that the liberal media is brainwashing us and there were, indeed, 1.5 million people at the inauguration. During this she somehow also condemns the middle east as being part of that brainwashing, and, strangely, PBS (a “liberal rag”) enabling it. Ok, grandma.
Shortly after lunch, she comments on two more women’s march pictures (I’ll spare you) and one NPR article about the DAPL. Here she also calls NPR a “liberal rag” and continues on the whole brainwashing thing even after multiple people provide multiple alternate sources for her that say exactly the same thing including Slate and the The Washington Post. Apparently none can be trusted because they are biased ( “liberal rags” was used yet again). Ok, grandma.
Here’s where I hit my limit. She tags me in a video by Live Action (I’m sure you know the one, heavily edited implying that Planned Parenthood was selling fetuses–you know, the video that was proven false by a federal investigation TWO YEARS AGO). I untag myself as quickly as possible and post an article on her wall about the investigation and its findings. I preface it by saying that citing Live Action is the equivalent of citing Breitbart in terms of journalistic integrity. This is what follows.
And that’s the story of how I blocked my grandmother on facebook.
Tumblr/twitter social justice:
I'm against abuse of every kind. Johnny Depp is human garbage and hope he burns in hell, fall his teeth and his hair and never find work again. (what? You've seen that stan confession, no?)
Amber Heard was arrested for assaulting her partner in public.
Tumblr social justice:
Her partner said it was a misunderstanding due to homophobia and misogyny.
The arresting officer and witness was a homosexual female cop.
Tumblr social justice:
lalalalalalalalalala - blocks other blogger because... reasons.
Tumblr social justice:
I'm against misogyny and sexism. I defend Amber Heard because she's a woman and women don't lie.
writes long posts presenting every lie Amber Heard has said, every inconsistency, everything she said she'd do but didn't. How do you, social justice blogger explain all the above? Make me understand.
Tumblr social justice:
No, I don't have to do anything because that's victim blaming. You hate women, you're misogynistic and sexist.
No, I have reasons I don't believe her. I explained them. I can explain them again.
Tumblr social justice:
NO! There are statistics. Women are victims and society doesn't believe them.
I talk about this specific case and these specific people.
Tumblr social justice:
No, I don't have to do anything because that's victim blaming. You hate women, you're misogynistic and sexist. You do it because you are Depp fangirl and love him and want to ride his dick.
.... isn't that kind of the definition of sexism though?
Choose Tumblr. Choose a URL. Choose a theme. Choose an icon. Choose who to follow. Choose learning to gif, learning to edit, drawing art, writing fics, coming up with funny text posts and the ultimate rush you feel when you see it getting reblogged. Choose the disappointment in your stomach when your posts flop and you don’t get the sweet validation that you learn to crave so much. Choose having your work reposted by people who don’t bother to make their own. Choose frustration and a sense of failure because everyone on your dashboard is always more talented and more popular than you. Choose obsessing over your follower count. Choose pornbots. Choose ship wars. Choose networks and sideblogs. Choose fucking Tumblr Mobile. Choose fandom racism and sexism. Choose tearing down celebrities over any tiny mistake or poor word-choice after months of putting them high up on a pedestal. Choose fetishizing MLM ships, drawing art and writing fics that ultimately serve only to satisfy what you see as your “kink”. Choose “sinning”. Choose erasing men of color from your MLM pairings, even if it’s canon, so you can choose to have an all-white ship instead. Choose hating POC LGBT+ characters. Choose ignoring LGBT+ characters that don’t conform to gender norms from these pairings ‘cause they get in the way of the heteronormative MLM idea you love to masturbate to. Choose shipping white canon gay men with a white girl, claiming you want more “bisexual representation”. Choose treating canon MLM pairings as cute puppies in a dog fair show. Choose pretending that makes you an ally. Choose shutting down actual gay, bisexual and transmen members from this website that see through you and criticize the bullshit you’re doing. Choose attacking them instead and claiming misogyny. Choose being overly critical of female characters while not holding male ones to the same standards. Choose woobi-fying villains and shipping women with their abusers, especially when the alternative is a character who is not white. Choose baby’s first social justice. Choose not to fact-check. Choose demonizing other members over the smallest little slip-up. Choose being told to kill yourself by a 14 year old on anon. Choose telling other people they should die because they enjoy Problematic Media Number X, choose anon hate. Choose discourse. Choose being on this website for years and having any enjoyment you once took from it be completely eviscerated by people’s blatant hypocrisy and fake social activism every time you log on. Choose not remembering what you did online before this. Choose deleting. Choose not to delete. Choose refreshing. Choose Tumblr.
Wait, so people are mad because there is an entire gender being ridiculed just to please another gender? The character is sexualized because he is pretty but also stupid so he’s just there to please the eye and make people laugh? While the other gender has smart and interesting characters, with normal clothes that don’t show too much and they are important to the story? And this happens in a movie?? That millions of people from around the world are going to watch??!?
Just like how people (men) think misogyny and sexism are over because women got the right to vote. And how people (white) think that racism is over because black people aren’t enslaved anymore. I have noticed that there are people (straight) who think homophobia is over because gay marriage is now legal.
These advancements and gains of basic human rights did not end the hatred and oppression we face.
It’s hard to feel anything but sadness. I feel the divide in our country ever widening. It’s unbelievable that we live in a society that still favors racism, sexism, stupidity, self centeredness over the good of the people. Over the rights and basic love of humanity. Time and again Trump showed himself to be an angry tantrum throwing baby in an ugly mansuit and yet none of his supporters wavered. If you think we aren’t in serious trouble you’re wrong. We sent a big embarrassing message to the world and there will be consequences. Buckle up my friends, we are in for a bumpy ride.
I support all women, races, religions, and sexual orientations. I wish I could apologize for all the racist bigoted assholes who came out of the woodwork this election but I doubt any of them are sorry.
Dr Eva Carniero, the former Chelsea doctor, has been named Woman of the Year at the Women in Football Awards. The 43-year-old won the award after securing a payment understood to be £5million from the Premier League club in June over sexism allegations. The official account for Women in Football tweeted that Dr Carneiro won the award on Tuesday for her ‘courage and professionalism’ this year.