In Pisces she wept and fell to sleep, a mermaid tail drifting in a sea by her side. All was calm, and then began the storm. A fireball in the sky, a new season, a new beginning, a hurricane to drop a child inside. From the storm the Aries was born, learning to walk and talk, forgetting the mermaid tail she took 12 lifetimes to sew. She looks for magic behind every corner, always expecting something astonishing and new. Through fierce suppression or taught shame, her spirit becomes poisonous, because she is a wild heart, free and untameable, as young as the spring, as pure as the wind. And she may hold violent secrets, or act of some destructive urge that sings a song of impulse. Instant self gratification is important, consuming the world is important. Everything seems so foreign as if nothing ever existed before she was born. Now she is in a world that seems to have forgotten her, a princess of the night through her last lifetime. Her scarlet aura conducting fires in the horizon, a child chasing shapes in the clouds. Twinkle twinkle little star now I know who you are
Taurus - Rest and Rectitude
It had all been so loud, so busy, so exhausting. Pushed from one frantic lifetime to the next, the Taurus woke up tired, her body seeming to be entwined with vines, her ears buzzing with the sound of wildlife. She walks through the forest to find hideaways opening just for her a priestess of the flowers, a mother to the earth, a reflection of pure beauty, an earthy Aphrodite. Her eyes glaze with the glassiness of still waves, her hair matted with herbs, it’s time to rest now, to flourish in a world that suddenly became soft to touch and delicious to taste. She could never truly cherish her surroundings before, life past through her in such a frenzied flash sometimes there are old anxieties that creep in, reminding her of chaos and carnage, hitting the walls of a palace she has built founded on integrity, diplomacy, and the laws of nature. She approaches the day with sleep still in her eyes, often relying on caffeine to adjust to human life. If she could flitter through life on natural time, she would sleep for days, and cherish the stillness of night
Gemini ~ Wings of a Butterfly
She cocooned herself into a flower bed last time around, like a chrysalis. The tired Taurus and a breath of fresh air was blown from heaven, the Gemini awoke, a butterfly with a golden helmet on her mind. Energy released in erratic form, the only way was to spiral upwards with the other winged creatures sending messages through ether, delighted at making sounds, twists and turns with words. Suddenly the mind leaves the body behind, she is a floating balloon Full of wonderful tales and facts and insights, illuminating the light behind her eyes when her mind is alive. And she can stay awake thinking for days, stimulated by internal conversation. Her responsibilities and plans can vanish, as if she has completely forgotten. She can find herself in a mess of paperwork and clothes, unable to escape the hold of her mind, deciding with one personality but in conflict with another, split memories of life revealing themselves untimely. And she can be chastised for her scattered mind, often forgetting the most basic of things yet she can keep you captivated for hours under the spell of conversation, whisking words in her mind like a magic maze, every age and time in a myriad of marvellous mental somersaults
Cancer - Timeless Woman
The incessant chatter of Gemini drifted into the back of her mind, turning into long conversations on the beach, the tide washing words with memories. In cancer time, every minute could be a moment, there is the possibility for growth, enlightenment, and meaning in every experience, the pinnacle events of life felt with a reverent glory, to marry, to love, to held, to be held, to be welcomed home, and be kissed as she leaves for the world. She is not bound indoors, but rather makes a presence and a home out of everything, constructing hideaways in secret fantasies and re illustrated memory. Before it was all about learning and squeezing facts out of life, now it is about withholding life, or giving birth to beautiful life, whether it be her own, a child, or something or someone she cherishes. People are stain glass windows to her lunar sculpted eyes, their feelings moving like colours, their psychic activity enveloping her like a heatwave. And you wonder why she can’t sleep, when its something her spirit so desperately needs. But your worry is her worry, and you give it to her while you fall asleep
Leo ~ Harlequin and Heroine
Wielding light at her command, this was a woman who formerly ruled the Moon. Illuminated from the heart, a golden child of the cosmos an heiress of the day, almost sick on sunbeads. The whole charade can be in disarray, born into a kingdom of chaos and neglect. Her howl is enough to spin the earth so the sun burns nearer feeling temperature creep into your chest, and that’s the feeling of her breath. Sun honey, a crown made of maple syrup whipped by stars. Before she had given life, and wept, and provided for. She taught to love and how to feel. And now she is all these sensations in her own side show riel A cast selected by the heavens. A script written by a royal soul. A child at heart forced to be an actress on a stage, garnering adornment and command, painting an image with colours drenched in soul tie-dye Tonight she fades away, but she comes to life on stage, or in your eyes, or lying with your heartbeat by her side. She feels music and cinema, she can see a part of herself in every character. Life fades as quick as fame
Virgo - Butterfly Mind
Sunburn punctures through her, a coursing burn shivers, her mind on fire, alive with anxiety and thoughts dancing in intricate design like butterflies. Charring burn down her tummy, more tension inside, stings on their wings, nervous sickness. The Leo spotlight was so loud and chaotic, the audience applause become deafening screeches in her ear, pride longing for the recognition. But the show has ended, and the Virgo has been left behind only a shadow for company in genius that has lost its mind. The show has ended and the only audience member remaining is the critic, ready to spit his words of venom, turning up the houselights and shining them right on pretend flaws. And the only way to leave was to get down on her knees, to begin repairing herself, to scrub the world clean. The celebration is over, and now she is stuck in her mind, desperately trying to settle a million anxious butterflies
To be a perfect mannequin, oh that was the dream. As a Virgo she sewed threads until her lungs couldn’t exhale. But now she is the dreamer of dreams, the writer of romance novels, and the personification of art. Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the most loved by all? Libra is ruled by Venus, the Goddess of Beauty, sweet Aphrodite, rising from a watery clam into the airy clouds. This is where Libra dwells, painting the sky with her thoughts, dazzling like diamonds in the sun. With a pen feather in her hands she narrates the law of the land, reigning in on righteous justice and morality. Her body moves in harmonious symmetry, graceful, her expression warm and then glacial, for she is a woman born under the air swords, so intellect rules, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the mind is the beholder, so sharpen your wit before you challenge her judgement, she may be vague when she enters the story she reads But she can be a woman scorned to those who threaten her allegiances or breed toxicity, the illusion and the glamor of a hall of mirrors, each face of a flower petal projecting through entrancing display. Daughter of the equinox, blessed with a cherubin face and allure, sorely misunderstood, she is not a flirter but a lover, a woman who finds parts of herself in everyone, parts of herself she longs to love, so she longs to love you, let her love you, it will be the most exquisite thing you ever do
Scorpio - Sea Siren
She plummeted from a jewel high in the sky, the cotton candy of Libra free falling into the bottom of the ocean. Surrounded by all sorts of strange creatures, sea entities wearing the faces of demons, fighting to survive, born inhaling poisonous water. And so life seems like a swim upward, but the pressure so harsh, the voices of ghosts are only under the surface, surrounded by hollow mermaids, sailors who have lost their life, between two worlds, the alive and the passed. She learned to love in Libra, but now she is forced to love the darkness, to cherish the beasts in herself that claw at the inside of her skin, to be an instrument of light infusing with shadow. The sun shining through the cracks, the burn she can feel on her shoulder blades in quiet moments, it seems like sun from the bottom of the ocean, but that is soul, that is her soul, radiating across a hidden treasure island.
Sagittarius - The End and the Beginning of Everything
Waking from what seemed like eternal death, a lifetime of dying over and over as a Scorpio, becoming a phoenix, and now dancing in the dazzling sky, like jade diamonds. Flying over all the lives she has seen, every experience fills her mind with another location, another tropical island filled with mythological secrets and opportunity. She learned the art of psychic activity as a Scorpio, and now she is in tune with cosmic timing, living in a future arranged by vision, light, and prophecy. And yet it can all feel so incomplete, having kissed death and returned to reunite with a godly lover, through wind, trees, snow, and sea. One part of her body longs for the soil of the ground, the taste of real love, the human experience, grand and simple. And yet the spirit source caresses her to elevate higher, leave the lower mind behind and anybody who dwells there, for she must meet God face to face, with no church or temple or orgasm to hide behind. Ah, this is the essence of life. To believe what she has not seen, but to believe she will, so from the sky angels dwell but concealed by her own will. Sometimes she is too scared of her own greatness, she is after all, a hunter, one whose heart is reserved for the highest priestess.
Capricorn - What Becomes of Unfulfilled Dreams
The celebration of Sagittarius was over, the room was dark, and it’s almost like performing a whole night of making up for the night before, or the life before. The Capricorn shakes on the ledge of the highest cloud, a mere push of invalidation or discredit enough to send her tumbling roughly onto earthly concrete, the whisper of success in her ear flying kites in the sky. Between two worlds she seems to live, seemingly forced into responsibility from the moment she took her first breath. Every experience and achievement forced through some sort of harsh institution, a secret life where she is berated by her own volatile voices, and a life where is must play every role with infinite ease, displaying qualities beyond human. Echoes of children’s laughter play like violins in her ear, a harsh reminder of a life she was never permitted to know. A world alone. The rings of Saturn the karma she is forced to bear, undertaking the duty of confronting all the madness and the pains of the Gods. And you want her to love you? You criticise her for not showing heart? That’s all she has ever shown.
Aquarius - Bleeding Rainbows
The world was loud and cold when she took her first breath, the lingering shadow of life as a Capricorn haunting as she shook right to her bones. Tip toeing between clouds she tried to balance the crown on her head all she had ever known was trying to survive and now she was a mother, a lover, a guardian to every child. When she laughs rainbows from the sky appeared, she is the angel of righteousness, truth, and humanitarianism. But the responsibility is heavy, and the crown becomes straining, alone she dwells, waiting for something to change, for people to change and find their hearts, and soul, and spiritual mind so she can descend and be free, so she can live on her vibrational harmony. As a Capricorn she had already walked the temple with Saturn, and now she had been summoned for another round, and her heart was already tired, and the voices were still so loud. She had achieved so much and yet how could she feel so empty and alone? She felt betrayed by their hatred and love of war and destruction. But there was soul and she could feel it, so her mind sang with electric impulses of spiritual nectar a milkshake of elevation for every being. You can sometimes catch her jumping from cloud to cloud, leaving a trail of teal flickering lanterns behind
Pisces - Mermaid Mirror
After waking from what seemed like eternal sleep, she tumbled quickly, plunging into deep water, taking a breath, but it wasn’t water, it was air, it was earth, and she choked. Eleven times this happened, and the 12th time she realised this was life, 11 other spirits dwelling inside. The smell of heaven and everythingness seduced her from the invisible, whispering in her ear to come home, to shut her eyes and leave this world behind. She tried to walk but never really got her balance, the floor always slipping below her, her feet only having the memory of a mermaid tail. Everything can seem directionless and unsafe, like nobody could truly ease the sores in her spirit. She constantly attempts to swim away in oblivion, but a silver cord tugs her back to earth, reminding her of intense spiritual obligation, contracts she wrote with angels and demons. She has divine truths whispered in her ear, she also has lies, the trickster’s bride. As an Aquarius she had lifted humanity, she had raised a global generation of pure heart, she swung her legs off the clouds, but now she was burned out, longing to fall asleep again, but she needed more energy than anybody to satisfy 11 other spiritual energies.
To be a perfect mannequin, oh that was the dream. As a Virgo she sewed threads until her lungs couldn’t exhale, But now she is the dreamer of dreams, the writer of romance novels, and the personification of art. Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the most loved by all? Libra is ruled by Venus, the Goddess of Beauty, sweet Aphrodite, rising from a watery clam into the airy clouds. This is where Libra dwells, painting the sky with her thoughts, dazzling like diamonds in the sun. With a pen feather in her hands she narrates the law of the land, reigning in on righteous justice and morality. Her body moves in harmonious symmetry, graceful, her expression warm and then glacial, for she is a woman born under the air swords, so intellect rules, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the mind is the beholder, so sharpen your wit before you challenge her judgement, she may be vague when she enters the story she reads But she can be a woman scorned to those who threaten her allegiances or breed toxicity, the illusion and the glamor of a hall of mirrors, each face of a flower petal projecting through entrancing display. Daughter of the equinox, blessed with a cherubin face and allure, sorely misunderstood, she is not a flirter but a lover, a woman who finds parts of herself in everyone, parts of herself she longs to love, so she longs to love you, let her love you, it will be the most exquisite thing you ever do
Today I made a simple double-core endband with just plain white cotton thread. No silk, no gilded thread, nothing fancy. I was so happy with the end result that I started to wonder, why have I been running away from such simple things before.
Inspired by Maurice Sendak's Where The Wild Things Are - one of my all time favourite stories. The persona here is Bunnyman who embarks on a journey of self-discovery and indeterminacy. It will go wherever floats its boat.
For those of you considering picking up a hobby, here is my personal experience with various crafty hobbies I’ve tried and their assorted costs:
Drawing ink/pencil: highly variable $-$$$. To start out with it can be quite cheap, if you’re just starting with school supplies and notebook paper. I’ve found even the higher-end paper products aren’t nearly the biggest drain, however, as when you start using the specifically artistic pens and pencils. I’d recommend sticking with basic supplies while you’re still developing your drawing skills, including using sharpies when you’re doing sketches (although these are getting a bit more expensive, too, they last quite a while even with heavy use). I also got a lot of use out of the 6-pack of varying sized Micron pens. For pencils, wooden is much preferred over mechanical, and if you can’t afford a full pack, I’ve personally gotten by fairly well just with 2B and 6B. As for colored pencils, quite honestly I’ve seen little difference in quality between expensive and cheap beyond color-choice. For charcoal, the charcoal pencils have struck me as something of a gimmick–you can do about as well just with a stick. Also, don’t neglect white charcoal; it really makes a difference and gives you a lot more options with your drawings. This is a pretty approachable craft to learn, however, even if you’re broke to begin with.
Drawing digital: highly variable $-$$$. Tablets aren’t nearly as expensive as they used to be, and there are a lot of free programs online. My experience here has been limited by my own funds, but I will say this is still an accessible hobby. For the most part, because my digital equipment is lower-end (also just due to talent), I’ve found it most useful for touching up my hand-drawn artwork after the fact by cleaning up the digital image, fixing mistakes I didn’t notice before, etc. It’s also a medium in its own right, but you’d have to get better advice elsewhere on what products would really be worth it.
Sewing: high cost $$$. Sewing machines themselves are a costly investment and pretty necessary if you’re actually making a garment, but even hand-sewing racks up, quickly. Thread, pins, and needles are fairly low-cost, but the fabric is getting ever more expensive. A proper pair of scissors can also be a bit costly; kitchen scissors are all right and will get the job done, but you will weary of their ineffectiveness. I also recommend a seam-ripper. I’ve gotten by without any of those special measuring mats or rotary cutters, but each project has its unique costs (snaps, buttons, zippers, batting, etc.). This craft is also a bit difficult to learn by yourself. Youtube tutorials can go a ways, but it’s really better to learn from someone else. If you have access to a sewing machine and a teacher already, this is a pretty useful skill to learn if you can take the time.
Oil painting: moderate to high cost $$-$$$. The costs can be fairly low if you stick with acrylics, but I don’t think much of that medium outside when you’re initially learning how to paint at all. Oil paints are pretty expensive, and you’ll need several base colors–I wouldn’t recommend trying to mix any yourself just from basic red, yellow, blue. When I started out it was in a class, and we were given 2 shades of red, 2 shades of blue, a green, 2 shades of yellow, a brown, and a violet, and even with this, getting just the right shade for the subject was a little tricky (although admittedly this was a beginner’s course). Brushes are also something you’ll want to invest in, and you’ll need several sizes. Turpentine is needed to clean the brushes, and you’ll want Gesso to prime your canvases, too. You’ll also need a flat palette, and then a razor to clean your palette. If at all possible, I recommend taking a class to learn how to do a proper oil painting and care for your equipment, and get some of your initial supplies from there.
Crocheting: low to moderate cost $-$$. I never got into knitting, but I imagine it’s much the same cost-wise. You basically only need yarn and a hook for this. Hooks come in plastic, and you can make a single size work for several weights of yarn in a pinch. The yarn is where the variability comes in. Simple acrylics won’t feel nearly as nice, but they do come pretty cheap. It’s also a very forgiving craft that you can undo and try again, over and over, so you don’t waste much. There’s plenty of online tutorials and forums, too, to help you get started.
Cross-stitch/embroidery: low cost $. Floss is fairly cheap, you can get a very wide selection of colors, and it goes quite a long way. Aida cloth is also fairly inexpensive, particularly given how long a project can take. You don’t need a frame, but they do help, and they run pretty cheap if you just get a plastic one. In terms of learning how, it’s very easy to pick up. There are also free online resources to make your own patterns. If you start adding beads and such the costs may stack up, but for the most part this is a pretty inexpensive craft.
Perler beads: moderate cost $$. You wouldn’t think plastic melting beads would cost much, but you’d be wrong. The color assortments are such that you rarely have enough to complete a project unless you buy each color you need individually, and even then you’ll want to stock up on black. Pegboards aren’t too expensive, but you’ll likely need a few even for a fairly small project. You’ll also need an iron (if you don’t have one already), masking tape, tweezers, and a needle. This is a project you can learn alone with little guidance once you learn the basics, but keeping up with the hobby will mean buying a lot of those beads, which gets expensive before very long.
When the light bulb in
his bathroom went out minutes after he moved into his new apartment, it was just
another inconvenience in the long list of problems that had been accumulating
since Andrew was born. He had never been given a break before and he didn’t
expect to be given one now. If it were anything other than the bathroom, he wouldn’t
bother with it, but there was no window or other light source and he’d had enough
experience using bathrooms in the dark as a teenager to ever want to do it
So he left the boxes, which
had been rooted through for essentials like cigarettes and the coffee machine
and then left haphazardly across the floor, and stuffed his keys and wallet
into his pocket for a trip to the dollar store down the street.
He forwent taking the stairs
in favour of the elevator. His apartment was on the fifth floor of a
seven-storey complex, chosen for a small balcony with a thick cement railing overlooking
a dog park. It was by design, although perhaps not one Bee would approve of;
she had expressed concern over the amount of time he had spent on the roof
during his last years at Palmetto and suggested that he might be fixating. It
didn’t matter that that was his intention, she said, that he was waiting for the
harrowing drop to the ground to hold the same trickle of fear it once did; he
should be working on healthy behaviours now so that when he did start feeling
things again, he would have a routine set up. Bee had always been more
optimistic than Andrew.
When the elevator
doors slid open into the light of the atrium, he barely had time for his eyes
to adjust before a flash of red and the smell of sweat assaulted him. He
reacted with the instincts he’d picked up from seven years of Exy and shoved
his shoulder into whoever it was, pushing back hard enough to send them crashing
to the floor below.
I joined Get Messy in December but was a bit overwhelmed with the first season I jumped into. Most of the pages I made are in my moleskine journal, but I did attempt a separate journal (above) that I never finished… and don’t intend to. The seasons after this one were much more inspiring!