severely disabled

Anti-shippers are not worried about others

They aren’t. Last year October I suddenly got a huge upswing in anons. Telling me I was going to hell for writing Ultimate Spiderman fanfic. Telling me I was disgusting and a piece of shit because an adult shouldn’t write teenage romances (Although where they think Young Adult novels come from who knows). 

Then they discovered I ship Pitch Black and Jack Frost as well as Kakashi and Naruto and it all went to hell. I was called a pedophile and had some very disgusting violent themed asks. At one point I was deleting about 15 anon messages a day. Someone told me they’d found my charity and they were calling CPS on me because of child pornography and pedophilia.

CPS did indeed end up showing up. And our lived were a mess. A horrible mess. Our devices were taken and checked through with a fine tooth comb, our browsing history was searched, all our dvds and movies that were not marked were taken.

Keep in mind that I’m a severely disabled person and have two special needs kids. It was awful and traumatic. Thankfully going into it the CPS worker said because of the nature of the report (someone finding my info over social media and not knowing me personally ect) she suspected it was a false report.

The police did ask some questions about my multitude of about 3,000 unfinished story starts I have on my computer and seemed amused and a bit disturbed to find out out some of my pairings but they were all great about it. Said they would make sure not to delete ANY of my stories because writing is a great stress relief.

We were given everything back at the end of the week, everything was clear. No child porn, no pedophilia. My kids drs checks were fine, their psych checks were fine. Although my oldest does still have anxiety but like….we knew that already. No signs of sexual or physical abuse on my children.

The case was closed, unfounded, and CPS closed their case also. However, because of the false claim they were going to press charges against the one who made the claim.

I have no idea how this works or if anything has been done yet. BUT FALSE REPORTING IS A CRIME!!!

It tears up families, traumatizes children to exams that are not needed, and puts innocent people into a terrifying experience. These people put us through this experience just because they didn’t like my shipping preferences. How is this ok? It’s not.

It’s sick

And I hope they are punished to the full extent of the law.

help a disabled gay jew eat and get around

i’m isak and i’m a gay trans jew living in edinburgh and i’m Flat Broke™ and severely disabled (some kind of schizospectrum disorder, severe ADHD, bipolar I, also chronic fatigue syndrome that means i’m confined to my bed most of the day). i need money for transportation and food, esp. so i can make it to tonight’s seder and bc my boyfriend’s visiting this weekend and i’d like us to eat something other than ramen or tinned soup.

i’m not receiving any benefits rn, though not for lack of trying.

my paypal is isakgrozny@gmail.com

any donation, no matter how small, helps. if you can’t donate, please reblog! thank you.

but like, please, please, if you can, donate something. i would like to make it to tonight’s seder—it’s the first night of pesach, it’s personally significant to me, as well as a super major holy day in general, but i’m in the middle of a pretty bad spell of low energy and high pain and i’m unable to take the bus and walk, but getting an uber is currently beyond my means. i only need like £20 to be able to get an uber there and back.

it’d be also nice to have some cash to get take-out or something moderately nice at a local cafe when my boyfriend visits, but that’s very much in the roses category, of the proverbial bread and roses.

Why Embracing Emotional Distress is the Best Medicine Sometimes

Much of our mental suffering is caused by our overwhelming attempt to avoid it. We think experiencing any sort of anxiety is a threat to our existing, but psychology studies have proven that one learns from struggle. One becomes a better human being through heartache. Let us explain with the science behind this theory..

Keep reading

23 times we almost lost it while watching “Mommy Dead and Dearest”

A few months ago, my co-editor Anna sent me a link to BuzzFeed’s in-depth article about an abusive mother and her child — one of the most devastating cases of Munchausen Syndrome by proxy that doctors and detectives had ever seen. It was the story of Dee Dee and Gypsy Rose Blancharde, and mother and daughter are now subjects of the documentary, Mommy Dead and Dearest,which premiered on HBO on May 15th. The documentary delves into the circumstances behind Dee Dee’s murder, organized by her daughter Gypsy and committed by Gypsy’s then-boyfriend.

For those who are not familiar with the case, Dee Dee abused Gypsy for her entire life. Dee Dee not only convinced her child and those around her that Gypsy was severely disabled — she also forced Gypsy to take aggressive medications and undergo invasive, unnecessary surgeries (eye surgeries, removal of salivary glands, insertion of feeding tube, etc.). Additionally, Dee Dee forced Gypsy to use a wheelchair, claiming she had muscular dystrophy and couldn’t walk. As one psychologist in the documentary explained, Gypsy experienced life as Dee Dee’s hostage — and after doctors, police officers, social services, and family failed her, she turned to murder to escape.

Originally facing life in prison before the severity of the abuse she endured was revealed, Gypsy is now serving 10 years in prison. She will be eligible for parole after serving eight and a half years.

Understandably, the documentary has captured the attention of seemingly everybody with an HBOGO account.

Here, we have put together a list of some of the most devastating, powerful, and shocking moments from Mommy Dead and Dearest.

***Just a heads up, if you have not seen the doc, this list gives away a lot of details.***

1. When it was revealed that Dee Dee possibly killed her own mother.

2. When Dee Dee’s family said that, after Dee Dee died, none of them wanted her ashes. As a solution, a few family members wanted to flush Dee Dee’s remains down the toilet.

3. When it was explained that Gypsy’s mother had a tube implanted in her daughter’s stomach, so she would be in control of what went into Gypsy’s body.

HBO

4. When Gypsy revealed that she “felt nothing” when her mother was being murdered in the other room — because, ironically, Dee Dee had her on Xanax.

5. When Gypsy explained that her boyfriend, Nicholas Godejohn, wanted to rape her mother after murdering her — but Gypsy told him to rape her instead.

6. When the doctor who suspected that Dee Dee had Munchausen by proxy syndrome didn’t even try to report it, for fear that no one would believe him.

HBO

7. When one of the detectives stated that Gypsy and Nicholas had the murder weapon shipped to his parents’ house.

8. When we find out that police officers had visited Dee Dee and Gypsy’s home under suspicion of child abuse — but Dee Dee managed to manipulate the officers into believing that everything was fine. Police never visited them again.

9. When a home video was shown of Gypsy as a baby, pointing to her “cranial” and “phalanges” when instructed to do so by her mother. She appeared to be incredibly intelligent, and could have gone far had Dee Dee not stunted her educational growth.

HBO

10. When Gypsy revealed she had first attempted to escape Dee Dee’s abuse by running away to live with someone in Arkansas — but Dee Dee discovered her whereabouts in a matter of hours. After Dee Dee forcefully brought Gypsy home, she smashed her phone and computer with a hammer, and threatened to smash Gypsy’s fingers with a hammer should she ever run away again.

11. When Gypsy describes having imagined herself as a little bluebird trapped in an invisible cage all her life.

12. When we see video tapes of Gypsy manually moving her legs as she plays in the snow, and squirming on the floor in a ballet class because Dee Dee had taught her to not use her legs.

HBO

13. When Gypsy’s father and stepmother visit her in prison near the end of the documentary, her father cries and apologizes that he didn’t do more to save her from her mother. Gypsy tells her father and stepmother that she blamed herself and other people — but she never once blamed them. In return, they both plead that she never blame herself.

14. When it was demonstrated that Dee Dee constantly held Gypsy’s hand when they were out, so she could maintain physical control over her. (She would squeeze Gypsy’s hand when she said something “wrong.”)

HBO

15. When a detective explains that Dee Dee had asked for copies of all of Gypsy’s medical records, which is how she learned that a doctor had grown suspicious of her. Dee Dee never brought Gypsy back to the medical center where that doctor worked.

16. When it is explained that medicine Gypsy was forced to ingest likely caused many of the disease symptoms that doctors thought they were treating.

17. When we see a photograph of Gypsy’s “medicine cabinet” — which was actually an entire closet overflowing with medication.

HBO

18. When numerous home videos of Dee Dee and Gypsy’s private life were shown, as Dee Dee constantly filmed Gypsy. One would assume that deceptive Dee Dee would keep their home life hidden. Was this another way to get attention and falsely inhabit the role of a doting mother?

19. When Gypsy’s father described calling Gypsy to wish her a happy 18th birthday, and Dee Dee stopped him. She explained that he couldn’t tell Gypsy she was 18, claiming that Gypsy was not intellectually able to understand her age.

20. When Dee Dee’s parents share that Dee Dee was wanted for fraud in parts of Louisiana.

HBO

21. When Gypsy revealed that her mother’s last words to her — hours before the murder — were: “Don’t hurt me.”

22. When Gypsy said goodbye to her dad and stepmom after they visit her in prison, she replied, “I’ll be a good girl.” She used to say this when her mother was upset with her.

HBO

23. When Gypsy answers the interviewer — without hesitation — that, yes, living in prison for 10 years is better than living with her abusive mother for another 10 years.

anonymous asked:

Why is it every time that someone vents on here about a rude thing that customers do, some SJW type has to say "they could have *insert disability here*!" Child please, the chances of every rude customer having a disability are laughable, sit down.

I’m offended when people think disability is a good excuse to be an asshole. Do you realize how that sets a bad image of others who are disabled and manage not to be dicks? My mom is pretty severely disabled. Chronic pain, wheelchair bound now due to back and knee issues, a heart problem, liver disease, and more. She still knows not to swear at a 16 year old cashier and is able to say please and thank you. I have severe depression but I don’t take it out on retail employees either. When someone excuses that shit it perpetuates the stigma on the disabled. For my mom that would be people thinks she’s lazy, not disabled. For me people just think everyone like me is out to kill everyone and could blow any minute. Just stop. It’s annoying and I’m sick of having to hide me mental illness because these excuses are keeping stigma alive. - Abby

Disability is not a number

Disabled people are as different from each other as we are from nondisabled people. Sometimes people don’t understand this. Instead of looking at specific impairment, they look at what they think of as severity. It’s as though they’re thinking, ok, on a scale of 0-10, how disabled is this person?

This can lead to a bizarre opposite reaction to disability and disabled people. People not only respond to disability based on stereotypes, they often respond based on the stereotype of a completely different disability. 

For instance, sometimes people who think of blindness and deafness as the same level of disability will respond to blind and deaf people interchangeably. (And often in ways that wouldn’t be helpful in any case). Because they don’t think about vision or hearing, they think about a severity category. 

Eg: a waiter who thinks this way might see two people signing to each other, notice that they are deaf and bring them a braille menu. Or they might, halfway through taking an order, notice that the customer is blind — then start talking really loudly. 

They don’t pay attention to the physical reality of the person they’re interacting with. Instead of thinking about what this person’s disability is and what accommodations they need, they’re looking in a box marked something like “what to do when you meet a level-8 disabled person”.

In real life, disability isn’t quantitative, it’s qualitative. Having a disability means something physical and/or cognitive, which will be different for every disabled person. It matters what type of disability someone has. It matters how that disability affects them, specifically. It matters what their preferences are, and what they’ve found works for them. Thinking in terms of severity level won’t tell you any of the things that matter most.

Am I disabled enough for my service dog?

One of the things I’ve gotten a lot in my ask box that I want to address is this. 

The short answer is: Does your service dog lessen the severity of your disability in some way? If that answer is yes, then congrats! You are disabled enough for your service dog. 

The longer answer is: 

This is a hard question to answer based on the little information I’m given about people. I don’t know what your disability is, and I don’t want to know unless you’re willing to share that with me. I don’t need to hear a list of your daily struggles to be able to give you the approval you seek. My word is not law when it comes to being a service dog handler, and I don’t want it to be! 

The service dog community can be really bad about gatekeeping, I know. I’ve been there. It’s really easy to feel like you are “not disabled enough” for your service dog. Especially if your dog’s primary task is to perform deep pressure therapy - because for some reason this isn’t seen as a true “task” by a lot of people, and frankly I don’t know why. Training your dog to sit still and apply pressure on your body is definitely a trained task and takes practice to get right. My dog still has trouble with digging his elbows into me sometimes, and we’ve been working on DPT training for over a year. 

That said, a lot of this feeling of not being disabled enough has nothing to do with the tasks that your dog can or cannot perform for you. It’s an internal feeling that you get - that a lot of disabled people get - when they’ve been doing well. I get it. My mother gets it. It’s just part of the process. For some reason your mind just decides that because you’ve not been sick for a while, you must be faking it. If you don’t get that feeling, then this post probably isn’t for you. 

The fact of the matter is, you have a disability that requires the assistance of a service dog. That’s why you spent so much time training (or were able to receive from a program) a service dog. Somehow, some way you are disabled and struggle in a way that a dog can help you. Whether that be by applying deep pressure therapy or fetching medications or assisting with mobility, it doesn’t matter. Your disability is alleviated in some way by the presence of a service dog. 

Sure, I can go to the store without Hesper sometimes and I don’t have any problems getting my items and interacting with the cashier. That’s because I’m having a relatively good day. However, it doesn’t take much to tip the scale in the other direction. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to accidentally brush my arm, and I’ll completely break down into a panic attack. Would I need Hesper then? Of course I would! That’s why I have him. He’s a safety net. I may not need him 24/7, but if he isn’t there when I do need him, it can be -gasp- disabling! 

I know, that’s shocking. Take a moment to soak that in because I’m sure it’s no different for you, regardless of what your actual disability is. 

Don’t let people tell you that just because you’re doing well and having a good day means you don’t need your service dog. Don’t let your own mind make you believe that either. If your service dog helps you in some way to manage your disability when you’re doing badly - that means you are disabled enough to have a service dog. 

Don't Be That Guy : how to not be an ableist 101

Every day I’m reminded how lucky I am. Yes. I’m disabled, chronically ill, and an abuse survivor. But I have someone who believes me and works endlessly to improve my health and life.

I’m lucky in other ways too. I’m lucky that my family has money to afford the treatments that are available, even if we aren’t satisfied with them. I’ve gone through hell, but I’ve gone through hell in a nice house.

I have had many people, doctors and loved ones who didn’t believe me. Who kept me from getting diagnosed. Who kept me sick longer. Who damaged my self worth. But when I hear stories from my friends. Some of the most lovely people I’ve ever met. I see how blessed I am with the others in my life.

I have severely disabled friends (even more so than me) who only eat once a day because that’s how often they can get out of bed and god forbid a family member assist them. Friends who have literally no where else to go and yet their families knowingly wear perfume that triggers anaphylactic shock in them. Who are being threatened with homelessness and loss of medical care if they don’t do things that they are physically and or mentally incapable of.

This is abuse. If someone tells you they have a disability, they have a disability. If disabled people say they can’t do something, they can’t do something. Either because they literally can’t or because the toll that it would take on their body’s/minds is not worth it.

They know if they help with the dishes they won’t be able to go buy your birthday present tomorrow. They know that if they work they will not rest and therefor not heal. They know that if they are overdoing today they will not be able to do anything for the next few days, weeks, or months.

If they choose to push through, then that’s their choice. If it’s a bucket list item. If it’s a once in a life time opportunity. If they just want to. That is their right.

And it doesn’t mean they could have done it yesterday. It doesn’t mean they’ll be able to clear the table tonight. It doesn’t mean they can read that book. It means that in that moment their bodies’ and their minds’ said it was ok.

It’s their body. It’s their mind. And it’s their life.

Whether or not someone holds a job. Whether or not someone helps clean the house. That doesn’t matter. They are humans and deserve to be treated as such. As equals.

Of course there are terrible people who pretend to be chronically ill or disabled. But listen to me. Please. I beg you. It is ALWAYS better to give them the benefit of the doubt. Always.

Why?

Because for every faker there are thousands upon thousands upon thousands of people in real need of support, accommodations, love, and respect.

Because when you give the benefit of the doubt to someone you are risking being too giving. And when you assume the worst you are blocking people’s access to healthcare, housing, education, peace, justice, and happiness. Because when you give too much someone who doesn’t deserve it gets a bit cushier of a life. And when you don’t give enough people suffer, die, and commit suicide.

And because when you doubt someone’s disability it makes others think that’s ok and that leads to entire systems, institutions, and societies judging, abusing, and neglecting vulnerable people instead of helping them.

Don’t be that guy. Support not only your disabled loved ones but everyone with disabilities. I’m not saying you need to go to a stranger’s home and clean their refrigerator for them. But when someone without mobility device asks for a seat- give it to them. When your employee says her illness is flaring - be kind. And when someone says they are disable, no matter how they look or act, believe them. And act accordingly.

5

Okay I have never in recent years felt as comfortable in my own skin as I did today.  I have a garden plot provided by the developmental disability agency.  I’m growing food plants there, to make soups out of for my J-tube, everything goes well.  Today I went there with a staff person – the only one not allowed to do medical stuff, with the express purpose of getting me involved in activities that aren’t medical in nature, since so much of my life is taken up by medical issues.  So we can do anything from organizing the apartment to gardening.  I don’t get a lot of time with this guy but the time I do get is amazing.  So anyway…

We weeded about a quarter of the plot (which is one of the smallest plots in the whole garden yet is actually quite huge, and was covered in weeds the whole way over).  Then we planted hot peppers (jalapeño and hot portugal), squash (zucchini and yellow), and eggplant, and left some seed potatoes out to sit for awhile before they get planted.  We also discovered, and weeded around, what we think is delicata squash left there by a staff person who had too many of them.

All of the vegetables were looking kind of sad and droopy, so we watered them and we’re hoping the water and sun will both perk them up again.  At least some of them.  We’re not expecting everything to survive or turn out great, but you can’t grow any food without risking that.

What does survive, will be far less expensive than the grocery store, that’s for sure. Even the farmer’s markets around here don’t have good prices.  In fact they’re more expensive than usual.  

(Are farmer’s markets a thing that can gentrify?  Because in California, I went to farmer’s markets that were basically roadside stands filled with great vegetables and fruits, and sometimes a few other foods, at an extremely low cost.  Many people who worked on the farms – meaning poor and working-class people – shopped there.  Not a lot of middle-class or rich people did, even though I think the food was great by anyone’s taste.  I swear the local farmer’s market around here is basically an upscale food fair.  And the food selection and quantity isn’t even all that wonderful.)

Anyway, this seriously felt amazing to do this.  Understand that I’m very prone, from a combination of physiology, circumstance, and medication side-effects, to heat exhaustion, sunburn, dehydration, and other problems related to being out there in that place.  There was also grass everywhere – we weren’t on it, but that didn’t matter to my allergies, where grass and cats are the most severe airborne allergies I have – so my nose was constantly running despite loading up on Benadryl.  And I had to crawl around on the ground because I’m too weak to get up off the ground on my own.(1)  I also had balance problems so had to sit in some weird positions.  So none of this was physically easy, and I basically worked to the limits of what is safe for me, and possibly a little beyond those limits.

But the main point is that despite all of those things put together, I felt amazing. I felt at home.  I felt like I was connecting to something I hadn’t even realized I’d lost connection with.  I felt like I was interacting on a very deep way with the dirt and the plants and all the things living in the dirt.  I ended up, of course, covered in dirt.  That’s what happens when you have to crawl around on your hands and knees or scoot around on your butt to weed a large area as efficiently as possible.  But that really didn’t matte to me.  This was like when I used to sit around in the redwoods outside my apartment stacking rocks on myself and feeling like the rocks told me I had a place in the world.  Everything around me as we did this, told me I had a very precise place in the world and right now that place was right here doing exactly what I was doing – weeding and digging holes for new plants, and watering the plants.

I also got watered myself. Something not always understood by people who get their water by drinking it by mouth:  It doesn’t matter how water gets into your body, as long as your body absorbs the water properly.  I hydrate by putting water straight into my intestines through a J-tube with a big syringe.  I have in the past hydrated by having water (or rather, a rehydrating mixture of things designed for use in veins) put into an IV line or a chest port, straight into my bloodstream.  Regardless of how you put it in, the sensation of getting a nice large drink of cool water feels exactly the same kind of satisfying.  Just like putting blenderized vegetables into my J-tube and digesting them feels pleasant and satisfying even without tasting them.  Anyway, right then, water completely hit the spot.

Someone who saw the pictures was amazed – he said I looked completely natural in this setting, in a way I don’t in most.  I probably looked very similar to I look in the redwoods.  And I don’t know how that is, but it’s a very similar feeling of being exactly where I’m supposed to be, and exactly where home is.  And being comfortable in my own skin in a way that isn’t usually achievable.  I felt like I could have grown straight out of the ground like the plants, and sat there and photosynthesized my food or something.  Except I have skin, not leave, so 70 SPF sunblock was a necessity.  I hope maybe these very brief exposures to the sun will result in my skin going back to a normal level of tan – not tanned, just not “I’ve been indoors for over 10 years to the point I can’t handle sunlight even though I used to have practically burn-proof skin” pasty.

But he said one thing that bothered me on a certain level.  He said “Wow, you look totally natural,” and then, after pausing to think, he said, “Well except for that feeding tube hanging off you all the time.”

Feeding tubes are natural in the exact same way that agriculture is natural.  Both are examples of things that don’t just happen on their own, but humans have created them in order to improve our ability to interact with our environments and survive despite the limitations of a human body.  Tube feeding has been around in one form or another since at least Ancient Egypt (that’s what’s documented, anyway), but the kind of tube feeding I do only has existed since the twentieth century with surgery becoming safer through anesthesia and antibiotics.  But all of these things are humans adapting to our environment using the skills nature has given us.  Tube feeding is as natural as beaver dams.

All of which gets me into a problem I encounter a lot:  I really like to talk to and read things by people who greatly value a lot of things I value.  Including growing your own food, and stuff that’s traditionally considered “nature” and “outdoorsy” stuff.  But such people are more likely than average to have extreme biases against feeding tubes, to the point of describing people like me (who depend on medical implants of many kinds in order to survive) as unnatural and creepy, the product of medical science gone too far, in a world that doesn’t want to deal with or acknowledge the natural world, where people like me would die and that would be okay.  There’s little more natural about humans than our instinct to survive, and to use our best skills as a species to do just that.  Our best skills include communication, collaboration, technology, inventing and designing and making new things, passing on our knowledge and skills to future generations, and a strong desire to survive even in extreme circumstances.  These skills are not unique to humans, but the precise way they play out in humans is.  And they are very, very natural.  And they result in things like feeding tubes.  

Because it is our nature as humans to help each other survive, to want to survive, and we have been helping severely disabled people(2) survive since prehistoric times, the times when many modern-day “nature people” assume we’d all have just died.  But it has always been in our nature to help each other, and if that meant carrying people around and pre-chewing their food all the way into what at that time would have been not only adulthood but old age, that’s what it meant.  It’s some of our current societies’ trends towards total selfishness that has caused some of us to assume that every prehistoric society would always leave such people to fend for themselves and die.  

I wouldn’t be alive in such prehistoric societies.  I would have died a long time ago.  They simply did not have the technology to keep someone with my medical issues alive.  But – depending upon the society of course, they weren’t all the same – it wouldn’t necessarily be through lack of trying.  There’s quite a chance that I would have been valued in life and mourned in death in a way that I might not be in modern-day America (or not likely for the same reasons, even if I am).

I’m also reminded that the only job I ever had in my life was on a ranch, doing work of a different sort but similarly physical and outdoors and dealing with the raw materials of life.  I got paid minimum wage to do things ranging from animal care to shoveling manure and moving it in wheelbarrows to painting fences and barns to cleaning up the property.  This was in a residential facility and the job was a work training program that taught us how to fill out time cards and the like.  I was very proud of my work.  I wish that I was able to do this kind of work now.  It’s one thing to spend a short amount of time doing something like this, but my body would crap out in five different ways long before I spent enough time doing something like this to get paid anything for it.(3)

But even though today I pushed myself to my limits and slightly beyond them, what I’m trying to get at is, this type of thing is what has always come the most easily to me, severe physical limitations(4) notwithstanding.  And although I had a huge amount of help with every part of the process, including just standing up again off the ground, it was still an amazing experience and brought back a lot of very primal, early memories of things I used to do all the time and felt actually competent at.

So overall this is a wonderful experience.  Pardon the fact that I had to stop and talk about ableism, but that’s part of my life’s reality as well.


(1) Yes, too weak, not too fat.  I could get off the ground while fatter than this, before congenital myasthenia and complications thereof got worse and made it impossible for me to stand up from the ground without bracing on something, and sometimes even then.

(2) By any time’s measure of such things – theirs or ours.

(3) Please don’t respond by telling me ways I could work.  I have so many disabilities piled on top of each other, that options that were just barely open to me as a teen became firmly closed by adulthood and have only gotten worse since there.  I don’t think less of myself because I can’t work, so please don’t assume that I’m just putting myself down or selling myself short.  I just know better than to put myself in a situation where I would end up in the emergency room long before I worked long or hard enough to get a paycheck that wouldn’t even support me.

(4) Congenital myasthenic syndrome, hypermobility syndrome, gastroparesis, osteoporosis, and secondary (pituitary) adrenal insufficiency make quite a potent cocktail of “I can’t handle hard physical labor for more than a ridiculously short period of time without turning into a quivering puddle”, without even getting into the specifics of autonomic problems and heat regulation and all kinds of other things.  Today I cam very close to turning into a puddle, I stopped myself just in time to barely get back to the car – with help – and get water into my tube andrlst for awhile.  I’m still feeling the effects hours later.  I got lucky.

I have a friend who has managed to get out of an abusive family situation and is living in a homeless shelter and is severely disabled and I was wondering if you all could signal boost their post? I don’t have a lot of followers or extra money but like…I want to help them stay away from their mom. I dont know how to give the post but the info copied from the post is “my paypal.me is actually astrovagant im so sorry for the mixup! my pp email is smallvast@gmail.com if thats easier”

anonymous asked:

I just saw your post/ask about sapiosexuality and I have a question. Isn't it only ableist to judge people's intelligence based on their looks? But if a person (like my friend) is sapiosexual, it's just like a form of demisexuality, where they don't experience attraction UNTIL they get to know the person and are attracted to their intelligence..?

I believe you’re referring to this ask and response by Mod Marie-Rose.

Well first I’m highly confused about how it would only be considered ableist if you were judging based on looks? Because that’s not what ableism is. 

Secondly the term sapiosexual is: 

It’s especially shitty because it begins equating your personal interests as “intelligence” and diminishes those who are “lacking” in your personal interest. Here’s a post that says it way better than me.

In addition to this, no, it’s not just like a form of demisexuality. Some more on that. Aand more.

As one user put it, “you’re not attracted to intelligence you’re repulsed by disability.”

I would highly suggest you check out both @thatdiabolicalfeminist​ and @bi-privilege​ and their “sapiosexual” tags. That’s where I got a lot of these links from. 

Also maybe check out the sapiosexual tag and see several people with disabilities, PoC, and LGBTQ+ people saying why this term is so disgusting and harmful..? There’s tons of them.

Mod Bethany

*note that a lot of these links also cover other topics, such as some of them attached to misogynistic might also mention the ableism. 

anonymous asked:

What's your opinion on people who get an abortion if they find out that their child will be disabled somehow?

I think anyone reserves the right to have an abortion no matter what the reason.

Kid will be severely disabled and have shit quality of life? Good reason

Can’t afford a kid? Good reason

Health care issues for mother or child? Good reason

Not emotionally ready for a child? Fucking good reason.

It’s a damn cluster of cells. NOT A BABY. You don’t see men getting penalised for throwing a used condom away.

And while we are on this subject can we take a moment to talk about how fucked up it is that men are deciding what a woman is allowed to do with her body? And how discriminative it is to women that they can be force to have a child they don’t want but there is no solidly enforced law to ensure the man is forced to stay for that kid too?? Like, it takes two to make but apparently only the woman is truly bound to it.

Man gets a woman pregnant: don’t want a kid? Does a runner.

Woman gets pregnant: don’t want a kid? Tough shit.

How can that possibly be fair? The answer is it ain’t. The answer is a large part of our society ESPECIALLY AMERICA believe so strongly that woman should be punished for having sex that they are willing to give a child a shit quality of life in the process. Coz here is the kicker anon, women don’t get abortions because it’s fun! They do it because for some personal reason, they are not ready for a kid to be in their life.

And a message to all the lads out there: IF YOU GET A WOMAN PREGNANT YOU FUCKING STICK AROUND. Even if you and the mother ain’t together anymore you STICK AROUND for that kid. You PAY for that kid. You help RAISE that kid. No, sending £20 a week ain’t enough. Be there. Give everything you can especially your time. You change nappies. You pay for food (not just when it’s with you, make sure it always has food at home.) You pick that kid up from school. You do everything your child needs and that INCLUDES making sure the mother of your child is supported and happy (as best you can) so that your child can grow up in a happy, safe and comfortable environment.

Since this website is basically my public diary anyway...

I’m constantly torn between “If I ever had a child I would do everything in my power to give them the best life I can” and “I am physically incapable of turning a doorknob, so it would be irresponsible to try to care for another person.” I don’t know why I’ve been thinking about this so much lately. I guess I just feel like I need to figure out where my life is headed quickly - which is ridiculous, but by eastern KY standards, I should have school-aged children already. Of all the things being chronically ill has changed, parenthood is one that bothers me frequently. Knowing that it is very likely a physical impossibility for me to care for a child the way they deserve to be cared for is frustrating. There’s also a cultural component to it. It is very strange when you are essentially raised to become a mother, and then you get the never-gonna-get-better kind of sick. I get the constant feeling that I’ve “failed,” and it is very obvious that some people in my family feel this way, too. But sexist cultural relics aside, it is upsetting in and of itself just knowing that the option to be a parent probably isn’t there anymore. 

we’re all familiar with the casual ableist

now get ready to meet… The Qualified Ableist™️

“As the sister of an autistic guy, daughter of a special education teacher, and past tutor of several disabled kids …”

^ Actual quotation from a real live Qualified Ableist™️

Tired of dealing with ableists who lack real-world authority and power over your life? Is the average ableist just too inexperienced to meet your needs? Our ableists should know better!

Book your free consultation appointment today and get thirty days of bullying and bullshit for half the usual price! Call now!

anonymous asked:

Hades, thank you so very much for speaking out against the mental health jokes. I have a severely mentally disabled husband who is a veteran (he got disabled from the military) and the stigma is definitely NOT funny. I also frequent the VA hospital, and they certainly don't think suicidal veterans are a joke. I see the pain that he and all of these other BRAVE individuals have to go through, it's NOT 'good times and weak men'. Alex should walk into the VA and say that shit, he'd die so fast

this is one of the nicest asks we’ve ever gotten omg…i wish many years of happiness for you and ur husband

◇hades

businessinsider.com
11 images show police forcibly removing disabled people during 'die-in' protest over Senate health care bill [TW: Abuse of Disabled Persons]
Disabled protesters organized a "die-in" in response to the Senate health care bill.
By Madeleine Sheehan Perkins

Several dozen disabled people were forcibly removed and arrested by police during a protest over the a Senate health care bill outside of Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell’s office on Thursday.

McConnell unveiled the bill the same day. The Republican-led effort was largely seen as negatively impacting some of the most vulnerable Americans.

The protesters shouted chants like “don’t touch Medicaid, save our liberty.” The demonstration was organized by ADAPT, a national disability rights organization, CNNreported.

“The American Health Care Act caps and significantly cuts Medicaid which will greatly reduce access to medical care and home and community based services for elderly and disabled Americans who will either die or be forced into institutions,” ADAPT organizer Bruce Darling, who took part in the protest, said in a statement.

Capitol Police took 43 protesters into custody after some of them removed themselves from their wheelchairs as part of the “die-in” demonstration, according to a statement cited by several news outlets.

Here’s how it unfolded:

As part of the “die-in,” some protesters like this man removed themselves from their wheelchairs.

After being accused of blocking the hallway outside Sen. Mitch McConnell’s office, protesters were removed by police.

Some were escorted out in their wheelchairs.

Others were forcibly carried out.

A visually impaired man using a white cane was led away.

Stephanie Woodward, of Rochester, New York, who has spina bifida and uses a wheelchair, is removed by police.

A protester is escorted out in a wheelchair.

This woman, whose condition was not immediately known, was carried out.

The bottoms of this man’s feet are seen as police carry him away.

A woman is led away by Capitol Police in her wheelchair.

Wearing an ADAPT shirt, this woman raises her arms triumphantly as she’s wheeled away.

Responding to Cowards

So lets respond to @kingoftheromans here real quick


If George the III was a good king..he wouldn’t have lost the Americas.  That war was his to lose 

If Nicholas II was a good king, he wouldn’t have lost the Russo Japanese War (a war he should have used have won), he would have been able to manage BLoody Sunday more competently by appointed actual competent representatives, and wouldn’t have lost his throne

If Lious XVI was a good king he wouldn’t have allowed Necker to mess up his economy, he would have reformed the tax system decades before 1788 when he had the chance, he wouldn’t have supported the American revolution (and failed in the subsequent treaty), he wouldn’t have fallen asleep during the royal session, he woudln’t have messed up the Estate’’s General with his constant flip flopping and he wouldn’t have screwed up the Flight to Varennes. 

If Charles I was a good King, he wouldn’t have attempted The Incident, he wouldn’t have screwed up two wars, and above all he wouldn’t have attempted to impose the book of Common Prayer on the Scottish.  @ayeforscotland can tell you how good of an idea that was (as a rule, trying force the Scots to convert to a religion they don’t want is a very bad idea.   He also would have accepted the four compromises offered to him by Parliament  that would have resulted in him keeping the kingdom to say nothing of his head 

   If King John was a good king, he wouldn’t have ruined the economy and caused a rebellion which lead to him being forced to put limitations on his power.

    If Nicholas I of Russia was a good king, he wouldn’t have utterly bungled the Crimean War and caused an internal rebellion in the problem

   If Commodus was a Good Emperor, he wouldn’t have single handledly ended the Golden Age of Rome

   If Nero was a good Emperor, he wouldn’t have economically ruined his Empire, lead to a four way civil war and gotten himself assassinated. 

If Caligula was a good Emperor, he wouldn’t have economically ruined the empire and gotten himself assassinated.  Oh and messed up in Germany and attacked the ocean. 

   If James II was a good king, he wouldn’t have gotten himself deposed in the Glorious Revolution by being generally shit.  

   If Peter III of Russia was a good ruler, he wouldn’t have given up to Prussia just as Russia was about to defeat Fredrick the Great, and then spent more time playing with toy soldiers rather than resist a coup.

   If Paul I of Russia was a good ruler, he wouldn’t have absolutely failed on every level.

     If Charles II of Spain was a good king…actually considering he was an inbreed severely disabled man with the mentality of a child….who was allowed to be king because when you based your ruler-ship on hereditary monarchy sometimes you run into 

Yeah, seriously you are like “oh better genes” so what, this is a good idea?

   I could go on with literally every single example on the list I gave you (because again, I clearly know monarchy better than you do) but my point is made, clearly being the child of the former ruler has a absolutely no guarantee of quality, and if you get a moron, a child, or a madmen (which happens a lot) they ruin their country.  

I mean say what you will about democracy, you never get actual children running the country.  

Again the US has lasted 240 years and we haven’t had a single ruler over thrown violently, which is more than any monarchy can say 

filmelf  asked:

wait hat's wrong with no child left behind, isn't that a good thing? granted,i don't remember much about it other than PSAs about it on KERA as a kid but wasn't it like, supposed to help keep kids in school by making public school more accessible or something?

Nah, it was exactly the opposite of that. Misleading name to get people to support it, policy that’s actually crap and hurts most everyone. 

No Child Left Behind was intended to get all schools in America up to the same “high standards”, regardless if they were rich or poor. The idea was that kids from poor (read: usually minority-majority inner-city) schools were not getting the same education as kids from rich (white, suburban) schools. Therefore, in order to Not Leave Them Behind, we’d hold all schools to the same standards, make sure they had a similar curriculum, and test kids to make sure they were getting the same education. 

(This is where the phrase “soft bigotry of low expectations” comes from, for the record. The idea was that liberals were actually keeping poor not-white kids down by not expecting them to meet the same standards white kids were meeting. But it’s pretty hard to meet the same standards when you have no money and your students are getting one meal a day.) 

And … well, in theory, it was not a bad plan, but in practice… hoo boy. 

First off, NCLB is why there’s so much testing in schools now. “High-stakes” testing- meaning, ‘how the students perform on these tests determines how much money your school gets’- was a cornerstone of NCLB.  They turned getting school funding into a contest- the schools that were doing ‘best’ would get a bigger chunk of federal education money, and the schools that were doing worst would get less. SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST, LEONARD. 

Because of this, education actually got a lot less accessible. See… if your school gets money based on how students perform on tests, it is a disincentive to properly educate disabled students, because disabled students will not be able to compete in a high-stakes testing environment. The government did give schools some money for taking severely disabled students- like, intellectually-disabled, Downs’ Syndrome, nonverbal-autistic, kind of disabled.

But what that meant is - if you weren’t severely intellectually disabled, but you were disabled enough to have trouble getting good grades and participating in high-stakes testing, you were kind of scroomed (a word which, gentle reader, means ‘both screwed and doomed’.) 

What would happen is, the school system would try to figure out how they could milk the most money out of your existence. If you were functional enough to be able to get good grades and participate in high-stakes testing, they’d try to ‘mainstream’ you- put you in the ‘normal’ classes with the ‘normal’ kids and give you the minimum accommodations you needed to be able to get good grades on the tests. If you weren’t, you’d be put in the program with the intellectually disabled kids, even if you weren’t severely ID, because they could get more money out of you that way. (In the words of my former vice-principal: “eh, just put them in the monkey room.” )

So… basically, NCLB made school into a Game of Teacher Thrones. You get high enough test scores for your students, by any means possible- or you don’t have any money to educate your students. School became less accessible for any student who couldn’t pass tests, and more of a hassle for parents and teachers alike.

Thankfully, NCLB is being phased out, replaced with (among other things) Common Core. Hopefully this will be at least a little better for everyone.

UGANDA. Near Gulu. September 23, 2016. At the Pagarinya refugee camp in Adjumani District, Jeffrey Michael, a severely disabled boy crawls in the dirt near his tent. 

For the mentally handicapped living in the refugee camp is a constant struggle to get proper medication, and wheelchair access. The outbreak of violence in the capital Juba last July created a humanitarian crisis in northern Uganda as thousands of South Sudanese sought refugee there. The country is hosting the lion’s share of South Sudanese refugees, with 373,626, more than a third of them arriving since early July. The fighting was a major setback to peace efforts in South Sudan, coming as the troubled new nation prepared to celebrate its fifth anniversary, amid a short lived peace deal between supporters of President Salva Kiir and former First Vice President Riek Machar.

South Sudan now joins Syria, Afghanistan and Somalia as countries which have produced more than a million refugees. While some South Sudanese may attempt to head for Europe, the numbers within east Africa are comparable in scale to recent refugee flows to Europe from the Middle East, and their traumatic experiences due to war are often just as hellish. More than 85 percent of the refugees in this recent influx are women and children. Many children have lost one or both of their parents, some forced to become primary caregivers to siblings. With the large influx of refugees in July 2015, relief agencies had to implement stringent food rationing in the refugee settlements. Currently the international humanitarian organisations lack the necessary funds to meet the needs of the more than 200,000 refugees. 

Photograph: Paula Bronstein

Physiotherapists are magic....


My team were recently taking care of a child with severe disabilities, who’d come down with a severe chest infection. Unfortunately, like many severely disabled patients, they have really poor reserve, and despite the most appropriate antibiotics we could give (cultures pending) they were steadily getting worse. Their work of breathing increasing, their PEWS score creeping up. Despite almost constant suctioning, it was never enough. We were doing almost everything that we could, and we were running out of options. This time of year is a particularly risky one for patients like this.

It was getting to a point where my colleagues had to have that conversation with the parents. The one nobody wants to have.

But we called in the on-call physiotherapist, who had to come in from home in the middle of the night. We watched, and we waited.

Something magic happened.

After the physiotherapist did their sorcery, the patient’s breathing settled. Their work of breathing almost disappeared. Their PEWS dropped three points, in minutes. By expertly getting out a shedload of secretions, the physio had succeeded where all the doctors and nurses couldn’t, in stabilising our patient and making them comfortable.

I’ve never seen chest physio make such a big difference.It didn’t cure their severe pneumonia, and they still needed regular physio. But it  Make use of your teams, and all the resources you have available. And if you take away one thing, remember that physios are magic.