Aries: Everything is better said in song.
Gemini: The sound of irregular footsteps would be right to send you into fight or flight. Maybe theres a reason nobody knows about things that walk on seven legs.
Cancer: Having a nice time is mandatory. Otherwise, you wont have a nice time.
Leo: The stars say to look through your old board games. Not too quickly, dont want to startle it.
Virgo: What one calls a lost cause, another calls excellent practice.
Libra: Use your skills at swing dance to confuse the authorities long enough to let your buddies get away.
Scorpio: There is no forward. The world is round. Its not a race.
Ophiuchus: Every second you spend worrying could be spent creating dangerous chemical explosives in your garage. Now who look silly?
Sagittarius: Wool and leather and plastic are pieces of the long dead. What better funeral?
Capricorn: Connect enough extension cables to each other and nothing will happen. The sense of completion is nice though.
Aquarius: Someone loafs you. They are collecting the dead skin from your bed and clothes and constructing fine pastries from it.
Pisces: At noon on Christmas of 2019 the shadows in the Sistine chapel will form a QR code for a free sandwich.