sets-me-on-edge

nytimes.com
I Miss Barack Obama
This campaign is highlighting some of the president’s better traits.
By David Brooks

This is a very interesting from someone I would not normally post about (I cannot stand David Brooks), and honestly, even the tone of this article sets my teeth on edge and makes me want to stomp on his toes. But it makes some very important, really critical points about where our country is going and what this 2016 election season says about our country. President and Mrs. Obama are people of the highest integrity and decency, and have conducted themselves as such throughout this entire presidency. That the response to this has been the kind of election season we’re seeing in 2016 tells us just how deeply imbedded the racism in this country is. Have a read, share your thoughts.

3

“Jesus Christ, Rhodes.”

My movements stopped short in the entryway of the flat when the lights flickered on, eyes widening and muscles tensing with the sound of her voice. There were prominent wrinkles in my dress, my shoes resting limply at my fingertips, and the disarrayed state of my hair was a telltale sign of what I was coming home from. Not that I was hiding it, not by any means. It was the tone of her voice that set me on edge, and when I looked up at Isabelle knuckling her eyes tiredly, there was a hardness in her eyes that wasn’t normal.

“Isabelle,” I drew out the ‘elle’ in her voice, teetering on my feet. Her eyes drifted towards me before drifting away, doing a double take as she found something alarming in my face. “Hiiii, roomie!”

Her brows furrowed together. “Are you high, Rhodes?”

I brought my hand up, positioning my forefinger and thumb just a centimeter apart from one another. “Maybe just a teensy bit. Barely high high, medium high at best.”

“God, Rhodes,” she sighed, shaking her head. “It’s four in the fucking morning, and I’ve got classes in two hours. It better have been worth it.”

I smirked, and she groaned with my obvious answer.

Chapter 5 of Lost & Found: Coming Thursday, February 11th!

♚—  ❝Blood. Sometimes it sets my teeth on edge, other times it helps me control the chaos. ❞ 

❝Oh, her? Don’t worry, that’s just our blood spatter analyst. She’s harmless.  Actually, she’s quite the angel. If you need any help, she’d be your go to.❞

Kim Gaeun, twenty-eight years old,  educated in Forensic Sciences, crime&mystery novel enthusiast, killer

                                    basics.  bio.  message.  read.  psd.  

Is English hard?

I don’t usually find any logic in comparing languages but I have to speak up because the “English is one of the hardest languages in the world!!” statement sets me over the edge. If you don’t want to read so much skip to the last two paragraphs. 

 Of course its difficulty depends on your mother-tongue (if your language is completely unrelated to Latin/Greek/Germanic then you’ll have a hard time connecting the words), but learning the basics of English is far from being a hard thing; and that’s not bad at all. 

I won’t go deep here: compared to other languages, English doesn’t have any special letters (like Ç, ß, Ø), nor does it have accents (like á/à/é/è/ü - keep in mind words like “cliché” and “naïve” are borrowed). English’s irregular verbs are nothing compared to many languages simplest desinences (meaning the past/present/future/etc word conjugation differ significantly). I suppose “To Be” is the most irregular English verb and it basically goes am/is/are/was/were/been (+have/has/will/would auxiliaries and all combinations). I’ll give a somewhat intense example: Portuguese’s “To Be” verb has roughly 70 conjugations that sometimes hardly look like each other (and really, Portuguese is far from being one of the hardest in the world to learn!).

If English was ridiculously hard it wouldn’t be the amazing language it is. I have friends who learnt to read/write/listen in English fairly fast and well enough to be understood only by playing games, watching Youtube videos or using websites like Tumblr. I agree that English’s pronunciation is indeed very hard, but in fact it is not outstandingly harder than many other languages. 

Although everybody’s learning process is different, I’d say it is general consensus that English’s basics are easy to learn. Don’t try making up excuses to say that “yes, it’s sooo hard” only because you manage to mix up “you’re” and “your” occasionaly. The way English is allows people from different parts of the world to exchange information and experiences - it allows communities like Tumblr to exist. Well yes, English is hard to speak fluently or master, but to do absolutely anything well is hard, no matter who you are.

You see, I don’t think I ever came across someone speaking English that I didn’t understand, and I find this sincerely amazing (in my opinion there’s hardly any beauty in something practical being so hard it shuts people off). And if English was actually harder than it is, it wouldn’t be any “better” or “more noble”. I’m not better than anyone for having to learn more or less 50 conjugations for each verb in Portuguese, most of us would prefer not having to!

Don’t try to make English what it is not. Be proud of English for being an accessible, open language that allows the world to be like it is today. English is language that helps people connect with each other. If you’re a native english speaker, that’s enough reason to feel proud.

2

1/31/16 ~ part two
My dad drops me off at the party destination and I walk in and greet the friends that I know. I see Kate is already here, but I’m cool so far. I start painting a coffee mug that’s all lopsided and weird, but Kate is a few tables away and I keep hearing her voice and her laugh and it sets me on edge.
When I can’t take it anymore, I excuse myself to the bathroom. I get inside and lock the door, then I wip out my flask and down that sucker. The alcohol starts to burn my stomach and initiate my gag reflex, but I finish it off, and I’m kinda dizzy for a sec. I take a deep breathe, and head out again.
I’m good for the next few hours, but then the alcohol begins to wear off so I excuse myself to “get some air.” I walk down the street to this courtyard with a modern art piece sitting in the center. It’s cool and windy out, and the breeze feels so Perfect, and I feel like its caressing me. The sky is a cool blue with wispy clouds that turn purple pink the farther they are to the west. I light a cigaret as I sit on a wall overlooking the mountains. It’s peaceful.
10 minutes later, I hear someone call my name. It’s Mary chandler, Lexi, Laura… And Kate. Shit. Just what I was escaping. Why is she here?
“We came to find you because we were worried about you!” Mary chandler screams, and Lexi comes and hugs me.
“I smell smoke on you, you pothead.” She teases me (I had thrown the cigaret to the side when I heard them coming).
They ran around a bunch, and I when’t back inside. Cause I’m like that. I’m just trying to avoid Kate.
We all pile into a van and drive over to Leah’s house for the rest of the night. In the car we were all singing to any song that came onto the radio. “Hello” by Adele came on, and I sang the crap outa it and I thought that was pleasantly ironic.
When we got to her house, I had to “use the rest room.”
While they were all downstairs, I opened up the window into the bathroom and smoked that weed I brought. So much better. The rest of the night I was more comfortable, and I just ignored what ever happened. I even pretended I didn’t hate Kate’s guts and that she never even hurt me to begin with. As the night went on, I felt worse and worse as I came down. Just absolutely horrible. Awful. Wretched. Disconnected. With a headache. I plopped myself in front of the piano and just screwed around with it. I only know two songs, the lord of the rings theme and “castle on a cloud” from les mis. I was relieved when Kate left. I hate myself for still being so affected by her. I hate it so much.

anonymous asked:

lamia

lamia: how do you feel about children?

I like children, they’re just tiny people who want to have fun all the time. I mean, yeah they’re loud and that super sets me on edge sometimes, but that’s not their fault. I just…kids are cool. 

also you know whats weirdly difficult was trying to invent a pairing of “a totally random, everyday, unassuming stimulus” and “something linked with trauma” because….those associations are so weird and non sequitur lmao. they totally happen but it’s hard to come up with one. for example the sound of a dog standing up can set me on edge lmao like just stuff that would seem totally random to someone whos not you…

as is usual when im struggling to come up with an idea i usually get stuck on the first concept i hit on which in this case was car keys….though my original idea for how i was gonna put this one idea across was totally different and involved microwaves and it was kind of a stretch and i was trying to figure it out for like a solid month at Least…i actually had this dream that an episode came out that established that lars had a decent family and in my dream i was like “god damnit now its too late to make that comic” like fuckn rip. but anyway i reworked it into a different idea (still about car keys cuz i really couldnt come up with anything else or detach from that idea entirely) and into a different format with as you can see a fuckload of text

it Was stressful….im not very experienced re: text thats got some variation to it…and shockingly enough it’s not exactly fun to try to recreate the feeling of having that kinda extreme life and death stress response via memory, or to make something thats nothing but describing it………..and i got mad abt trying to color it cuz when i follow my sense of color i everythings pretty much really bright and saturated, but when i Don’t follow my sense for color then i put together stuff that ends up looking awful. i swear i love muted and/or unusual color palettes and i know my vivid rainbow tendencies are not seen as mature or sophisticated but what fuckin ever i embraced it cuz just having the coloring that wasnt working was making me question whether i liked the whole damn thing at all and i sank a decent amt of time into it lmao like no way

lazyskelebones asked:

🔥

questionable opinions let’s go | ACCEPTING

ooc;; okay how about  RP blogs for real people. I know that some definitely share my viewpoint on this ( and others disagree ) but, literally, this is the ONE thing that will, just in of itself, make me not follow a blog. I’m generally just uncomfy with the idea of writing real people and doing things one normally would for a muse like headcanons and shipping like, it’s very weird to me?? And I know some blogs will exclude that content but still, they are distinctly different from characters and I don’t like to see them RPd on my dash.

The same goes for writing fanfiction of them. holy hell one of my sisters reads a ton of one direction fanfiction and ehhhhhh again that sets me on edge. I know if I were to get enough fame for people to be interested in writing me as a character I would NOT like it. I’d be flattered, but you know. This is completely distinct from using real life face claims though, go ahead and do that all you like I’ve done it too, it’s just when your character is ACTUALLY a living person and not originated in fiction

i hate that video of someone screen printing a shirt because while it looks cool theres something about the audio that grosses me out in the weirdest fuckin way like the sound the thing makes as they drag it across the ink covered screen just grates on every fiber of my being and almost makes me nauseous and sets my teeth on edge and even without the audio i just know thats the sound its making and every time that video bothers the fuck out of me

RANT TIME

you know what makes me really fucking angry??! girls thinking that having a boyfriend or male attention determines their fucking worth. today at the lunch table one of my friends was going on and on about a mutual friend & how she was so good at everything & played varsity in multiple sports, has a good body, could sing, etc. & another girl there puts her fucking two sense in and you know what she had the audacity to say about this girl?? “wow how is she single??” and that totally set me over the edge. since when did having a boyfriend determine a girl’s worth. this girl is honestly so amazing at so many things & is the sweetest too & apparently something like the fact that she doesn’t have a bf TRASHES THAT. SHE IS SO AMAZING HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT SHE IS INCOMPLETE BECAUSE SHE DOES NOT HAVE A MALE COUNTERPART. it makes me so angry that girls actually live in a constant state of ‘oh I desperately need a bf or I’m not worth anything’ or 'oh wow she doesn’t have a bf she’s a fucking loser’. GIRL YOU ARE FUCKING SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT PLEASE DO NOT THINK THAT IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A MAN THAT YOU ARE NOT WORTH ANYTHING. I FUCKING LOVE YOU FOR YOU AND YOU FUCKING LIVE YOUR LIFE THE WAY YOU WANT AND DONT LET ANY DOUCHE TELL YOU THAT YOU NEED A MAN TO BE HAPPY OR PERFECT. ((also I think I’m also so angry about this because this disgusting comment came from a girl who has never had male attention in her life and all the sudden a random guy told her he liked her and she jumped all over him & now thinks that she can fucking go around telling people that they need a gf or be to be happy AND NO YOU FUCKING DO NOT))
if you read all of that THANK YOU

Okay, so I had a really bad day yesterday, and am determined today will be better, so I’m going to focus on happy things.  So if you sent me unhappy things (or anything related to Civil War in general, since it sets me on edge) then I apologise for not answering.  I’m not ignoring you to be rude, but I’ve been sick a few days and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t all physical so I need to remove the negative today and just be positive.

Much love, darlings! and now I shall go get some soup brewing in the slow cooker.

I left Facebook for a Week

HERE IS WHAT HAPPENED: 

On December 02, 2015 in one dramatic loud post on Facebook I deleted the Facebook App off of my phone.  It is hard to explain why.  I was just tired of feeling like every time I looked on the app there was something negative on it, I had too much going on, it was too big of a distraction and it was consuming me.  I saw one more negative post and it set me over the edge, I decided that I was spending too much time on it.  I needed a break.  

.  

I even included a picture of me at the Great Wall of China as a declaration of actually living a real life outside of a digital app.  Here we go! 

If I am being honest I felt that Facebook was making me shallow.  I had a lot happening in my life and I wanted real experiences with real people.  The shallow, meaningless conversations and postings were not really me, or who I am, or so I thought.  I convinced myself that if I deleted Facebook that I would be superior to it and somehow re-engage back into my life in a meaningful way.  

I spoke to a lot of people through Facebook so I decided I needed to post about it.  I was overwhelmed by the responses.  Most people were encouraging, a few were negative about it (go figure) and a few people panicked a little bit.  Many expressed that they felt the same way, but I don’t think anyone followed me and deleted Facebook. To be fair, I was not deleting my Facebook entirely.  I have considered doing that, but I knew I would regret it so for now I just took the Facebook App off of my phone.  

For the first several days I journaled about it:

DAY 1 

7:01 a.m.  I post about leaving and follow through

7:10 a.m. I delete the app and have a solid moment of “oh shit”

7:12 a.m.  I shower and think during the entire shower about how I want to check Facebook to see what people are saying about me leaving Facebook.  

7:33 a.m.  I am a little panicked.  I want to check.  But it’s not there.  I can’t go back now.  I Tweet about it.  

7:44 a.m. I decide I am going to blog about this.  Leaving Facebook has me truly panicked.  This isn’t good.  

7:45 a.m.  I check Twitter.  And Instagram.  It’s not the same but I am coming down.  

7:46 a.m. I check LinkedIn.

7:47 am. Putting the phone down.  

8:16 a.m. I’ve been playing music but I am wondering if I can really go all day without checking my desktop Facebook from my Laptop.  I decide that if I feel like this that it isn’t good and I really do need to do that.  I will go 24 hours, I promise myself.  

8:46 a.m.  On my way to work.  Reallly wondering what’s up on my Facebook page.  Listening to Prince.  I can do this.  

8:47 a.m.  I decide every time I want to check Facebook I am going to phone a friend.  Dialing now.  

10:00 a.m.  I am now at the office and have been here focused and working for awhile.  Was I really checking my phone that much before?  While driving? Or am I just thinking about checking Facebook just because I can’t? Either way, it is not good that I feel this way about an app on my phone.  

10:09 a.m.  The Facebook bookmark popped up on my computer.  I want to, but I’m not checking it.  I promised myself to wait at least 24 hours.  I click it away.  

11:33 a.m.  I resist the urge to check Facebook from my desktop.  Made coffee instead.  

11:44 a.m. I post a photo to Instagram.  It’s not the same but helped me to resist the urge.  

1:14 p.m. I have been way too busy for Facebook.  But I feel like I keep forgetting something.  

1:34 p.m.  I am abnormally starving.  I might be thinking that food is love.  I decide to stay hungry and keep the course.  

3:15 p.m.  I wanna check my Facebook.  

7:36 p.m I get a text from a friend “How’s your Facebook withdrawal?  You picked a good day to leave.  It’s a pit of despair today.” I call her.  

Day 2

5:49 a.m.  I survived nearly 24 hours without Facebook.  This in and of itself is a First World Problem.  I feel ashamed that this has been difficult.  

6:30 a.m.  I post a picture to Instagram and share it to Facebook.  Still no checking, but somehow inching closer.  

7:29 a.m.  It’s been 24 hours.  Based on my original agreement to myself, I can check Facebook from my laptop, but I decide not to. It makes me drunk with power.  

10:39 a.m.  I want to check the desktop version but I’m also starting to realize why I left.  

11:04 a.m.  I have a long talk with my coworker about taking the app of his phone and how that has made his life so much better.  I am feeling the addiction subside and I am at peace with my decision.  

11:24 a.m. I log into the desktop version of Facebook.  I spend exactly one minute reading the comments on my page and then log off.  One minute vs. constantly plugged in.  It feels good.  Now I don’t have that “what am I missing” feeling.  

4:11 p.m.  I log into Facebook on my desktop and start scrolling before I even realize it.  

6:12 pm. I’m at Happy Hour and my friends are late.  What am I supposed to do while I wait?  I talk to the guy next to me.  Weird.  A live conversation with a stranger.  He ignores me because he is looking at his phone.  I encourage him to give it up.  He thanks me politely and then gets up and moves which makes me giggle. I type this note and then decide to go on Twitter.  

That is where my notes end.  Over the course of the next few weeks my addiction becomes less and less.  I log in less on my desktop and don’t feel the urge as much.  I don’t feel embarrassed about using Facebook while I am on it even though I posted that I was going away.  It becomes balanced.  

Then something happened.  My daughter got very ill.  I had to use Facebook to communicate to my family.  I reinstalled the app on my phone for an entirely different reason than I would have ever expected. My life spun out of control.  I was driving to the hospital daily and overcome with grief and the thought of losing my child.  

When your child might die and you log into Facebook and see negative comments and posts about things that don’t really matter you really just want to scream.  I hated Facebook and I hated the people that thought that nonsense was important. 

 

 

Really people? This is what you have to say?  This is so not what I want to see or hear when my world is collapsing. 

 

Another great one.  How many circles do you see?  How much time did people spend looking at that? What if the world spent that time doing something useful?  My daughter is sick.  I cannot see I am crying so hard.  I don’t see any circles. 

.  

 

I could go on, but can you understand my point?  It is nonsense.  All of it.  

 

Even the positive things really just were so hard to take: 

 

My daughter is lying in a hospital bed.  I am hopeless to do anything.  I hope this inspires someone to change but right now it feels empty. 


 

I guess I am blessed to have a child at all, right?  If I had had nothing but happy thoughts would my child even be sick? But forgive me if it is just too hard to see right now.  I will tell you that you have never known heartache of any kind…not from a breakup or a loss of any kind, you do not know true heartache until you sit by your child in a hospital bed.    If “Everything happens for a reason” what is the reason that my child could die?  When you are in a powerless situation, positive thinking and affirmations don’t help and you fully realize how meaningless they are.  

It has now been a few months since I began this experiment.  The Facebook app is firmly on my phone to stay.  It is impossible not to have it, it is the way that humans communicate to one another now even if it is shallow or meaningless.   

I admit, in some dark days, I have found comfort in the mindless drivel of my newsfeed. This experiment has allowed me to compartmentalize Facebook exactly where it should be.  I am no longer addicted.  I realize that the posts scrolling by me are not meaningful at all and are just an escape.   After all of this, this what I do know.  In the grand scheme of life it doesn’t mean anything. But we still all have our lives. Things happen. We still get through real shit. The escape that is Facebook might just not be the problem. An escape into mindless nonsense. That just may be the point.  

That supposed ‘most relaxing tune ever’ is NOT bloody relaxing, I dont know how everyone else is hearing it but its set me on edge I dont like it Im not bloody relaxed

noriakihackyoin asked:

there comes a point where im so fed up w seeing certain users that i just block or blacklist them. including the user you mentioned. (actually that mightve been the user that set me over the edge and into my 'petty blocking' habit.)

i SHOULD block them but i also have a need to see everything even if it’s bad. so the only people i tend to block are spam and porn blogs. but luckily that need had decreased massively over the last year 

your approach is way more sensible and i’ll try to start doing that from now on, and i’m going to start with that very same user. ok there she’s blocked