set yourself free

There’s a light in you,
A light which you can ignite and set yourself free from any shackles and grief and in that light you can dance upon the stars of the night and unite,
In that light you can dive into the depths of the ocean and seek the Beauty of God.
There is within you a power you can ignite and burn any desire, and in that you are free from the pressure to be that which you cannot bring yourself to conform to or believe in. Then, you will escape the chain of time and you will live in the home of bliss and eternity; yet, you would not have left this life but you would have simply awaken and realised.

You loved them. They blame you.
You still loved them. They blame you.
They made mistake, You continue to loved them.
You made a mistake. They blame you.
You loved them, You loved them, You loved them,
God damn it You loved them, but they still keep on blaming you;
Then you change, You had enough.
Guess what? They still blaming you.
Απωθημένα

Θα δεις, αν τελικά εκπληρώσεις όλα αυτά που έχεις απωθημένα, μετά θα τα αφήσεις, δεν θα συνεχίσεις μαζί τους. Τα έχεις σκεφτεί υπερβολικά πολύ ώστε τα έχεις τελειοποιήσει στο μυαλό σου. Έχεις πάθει εμμονή με αυτά τα πρόσωπα, που αποκαλείς απωθημένα. Τελικά, μόλις τους έχεις, δεν θα τους θες, δεν θα τους θες γιατί πολύ απλά διαφορετικά τα είχες σκεφτεί όλα και αυτή η ιδέα του να είστε μαζί αρχίζει να παλιώνει και να σκουριάζει, αρχίζει να βρωμάει και απλά δεν την θες πια. Έχεις εξιδανικεύσει το γεγονός αυτό που όταν τελικά γίνει, δεν θα είναι προφανώς όπως το έχεις σκεφτεί. Συνεπώς δεν θα σου αρέσει ούτε εσένα. Τα απωθημένα είναι ψεύτικες ελπίδες για κάτι που ποτέ δεν θα γίνει και όταν γίνει δεν θα ναι αυτό που θέλεις. Είναι μελλοντικές αναμνήσεις που έχεις δημιουργήσει στο μυαλό σου για κάποιον που ποτέ δεν μπόρεσες να είσαι μαζί του, όπως εσύ ήθελες. Αλλά άκου το, πρέπει να το ακούσεις. Σκληρό μεν, πραγματικό δε, αλλά άκου το. Αυτά που έχεις ονειρευτεί δεν θα γίνουν! Σταμάτα πια να θεοποιείς και δες τα πράγματα όπως έχουν. Άσε τα απωθημένα να ξεκολλήσουν από το μυαλό σου. Άσε το μυαλό σου επιτέλους να πετάξει, άστο ΕΛΕΥΘΕΡΟ…. 

“You’re allowed to leave any story you don’t find yourself in. You’re allowed to leave any story you don’t love yourself in.

You’re allowed to leave a city that has dimmed your light instead of making you shine brighter, you’re allowed to pack all your bags and start over somewhere else and you’re allowed to redefine the meaning of your life.

You’re allowed to quit the job you hate even if the world tells you not to and you’re allowed to search for something that makes you look forward to tomorrow and to the rest of your life.

You’re allowed to leave someone you love if they’re treating you poorly, you’re allowed to put yourself first if you’re settling and you’re allowed to walk away when you’ve tried over and over again but nothing has changed.

You’re allowed to let toxic friends go, you’re allowed to surround yourself with love, and people who encourage and nurture you. You’re allowed to pick the kind of energy you need in your life.

You’re allowed to forgive yourself for your biggest and smallest mistakes and you’re allowed to be kind to yourself, you’re allowed to look in the mirror and actually like the person you see.

You’re allowed to set yourself free from your own expectations.”

- Rainia Nam (Huffington Post)

I feel really sad for people who don’t let themselves have cereal late at night, go on ice cream runs with friends, pizza at sleepovers, or eat things like oil and salt. Living spontaneously and enjoying food are such fun parts of life, and some of my favourite memories.

If you’re restricting yourself or letting some toxic mindset control you, please, work to set yourself free. Life is too short not to eat muesli at 10pm or your body weight in peanut butter.

Don’t Say Anything (part 11)

Summary: You finally decide to tell Bucky that you’ve been in love with him since the day you met but what happens when you walk in on him with a girl? And not just any girl; Natasha.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: lil bit of this, lil bit of that

A/N: I KNOW I KNOW IT’S BEEN SOOOOOOOO LONG BUT I’M BACK IN ACTION I HOPE THIS WAS WORTH THE WAIT MY BEAUTIFUL PIECES OF CHEESECAKE! Also I’ll edit this tomorrow :) I hope ya enjoy!

“Holy shit.” Pietro’s eyes are widened. “Holy shit.”

You hear the platinum blonde laugh a bit and you smack his arm. “It’s not funny.”

“I never said it was.” he giggled.

“Stop laughing!”

“I’m sorry my love it’s just-” he starts laughing again and you scowl. You charge at him, ready to hit him upside the head but he’s quick and grabs your hands, trapping them in his. “That’s very mean, honey.”

You struggle, trying to release your hands from his hold but it’s no use. “My situation is not funny, asshole.” you grunt.

Pietro laughs again, turning you around and hugging you tightly, your back to his front. You wriggle, trying to set yourself free but it doesn’t work. “If I had known all it took for you to admit your feelings was for Natasha to press on the matter, I would have been done so long ago.”

“Technically, I admitted my feelings for Bucky to Nat, not Bucky.” you correct but before Pietro could respond, the door opens revealing a smiling Bucky and Natasha.

Your body goes a bit limp in Pietro’s arms, seeing them smiling together. She probably told Bucky about your crush on him and they probably laughed and laughed. Who wouldn’t? It was stupid that for 5 years you were so hung up on Bucky thinking that you’d might actually have a chance with him when in reality, good looking guys like him don’t fall for their not-so-hot best friend.

Get a grip.

Bucky’s eyes lock on you and Pietro and his smile drops completely. You think he’s angry at you or that this is all so awkward. What do you say to someone who likes you when you don’t even like them back?

What you didn’t know was that he was getting a bit jealous, seeing Pietro with his arms around you. He wanted to walk over there and snatch you from him. Show Pietro that you where his girl and only his. Natasha catches on to Bucky’s aggravated demeanor and pulls him down to her level by his shoulder.

“Talk to her.” she whispered.

You look away as soon as she pulled him down towards her. You didn’t want to see the happy couple being all… happy.

Bucky nods and straightens up, clearing his throat in the process. He puts on his best ‘I’m-not-about-to-have-a-serious-panic-attack’ face and strides over to you all while mentally killing Pietro in about 100 different ways.

But when he stood in front of you, his mind completely went blank.

You didn’t even notice when Pietro let you go and went to stand by his sister and Steve. You glance at Bucky quickly before staring at your sock-covered feet, shifting from one foot to the other. Everyone in the room was staring at you like you were some zoo animal.

Bucky opened his mouth but then closed it soon after. Where was he supposed to start? What was he supposed to say? The brunette looks over his shoulder at Nat who gestured her hands at him. He nods and looks at you, tapping your shoulder like the two of you were in kindergarten to ask you for a crayon because he accidentally left his at home.

You look at him, waiting for him to speak first but instead of speaking, he quickly swoops down, capturing your lips in a sudden kiss. You almost melt into it. Almost.

But before you could pull away yourself, Natasha yanks the soldier away from you, frowning at him. “What are you doing?!”

Your lips tingle as you slap your hand against your mouth. “Nat I’m so sorry I-”

“I said talk to her not kiss her, you idiot!” she shouts.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I blanked!” he exclaimed, trying his best to dodge the punches Natasha was giving him.

Once she was done, she points over to you. “Talk to her.”

Bucky nods and turns back to you, taking a step closer to get away from Nat. He breathes in. “I-”

But you cut him off with a slap to the face, shocking Steve, Nat, Wanda, Bucky and Pietro. He holds his cheek and gives you a confused look. You fold your arms across your chest as your eyes swell with tears. “How dare you kiss me, James Barnes.” you snap. “You can’t just do that! You have a girlfriend for fucks sake! Who just so happens to be standing right over there and I am most definitely not one of those girls who hook up with their best friends boyfriend behind her back! I will not hurt my best friend like that! She means more to me than anything and I-” you choke on your tears, turning to Natasha. “I’m so sorry Nat. I never meant for all of this to happen. I tried to hard to keep my feelings out of the way but you just kept pushing the subject and I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I didn’t mean for you to find out that way. Actually, I was hoping you never found out at all and that my feelings would just go away but my dumbass got overwhelmed and told you that it was Bucky who I have been madly in love with for five years.”

You shake your head, wiping away your tears as you make eye contact with a very surprised Bucky. “Yeah, you were the guy I had a crush on. The guy who had a girlfriend and only saw me as a friend. Don’t act so surprised, Barnes. I’m sure Nat told you when you two went to talk.”

Bucky stayed quiet. Actually, everyone stood quiet and that frustrated the hell out of you. “So there, everything’s out in the open. I’ve liked you for five years,” you point to Bucky. “I’m sorry that I like your boyfriend,” you point to Natasha then clap your hands together. “And that’s about it. Over and done with. Don’t worry I’ll get over you soon, just.. please stay away from me.” you pause and sniffle, wiping away those stupid tears that keep coming back. “Okay, conversation over. I’m gonna go and read a book or something - maybe sleep. I dunno yet.”

You move towards the door, wanting to go to Wanda’s room or even Tony’s room - anything to get away from Bucky but before you could leave, he grabs your hand and pulls you back.

“You didn’t even hear what I have to say.” he spoke softly.

You scoff and yank your hand away from him. “I don’t need to hear your rejection speech, Bucky. I know you want to be with Natasha I mean, what was I thinking? I was only your best friend. Nothing more.”

You step around Bucky but again, he pulls you back, pressing his lips to yours in another kiss and this time you’re the one who pulls away. Frowning and damn near ready to explode, you repeatedly hit his chest. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”

Bucky catches your hands in his, causing you to stop hitting him. You look at him and he smiles. He fucking smiles. “I love you.”

And there goes the little self control you had left. You kick Bucky’s leg and he lets go of your hands to tend to the spot you just kicked. While doing this, you start hitting his shoulder. “You can’t say that! Honestly, what’s wrong with you! You’re dating Natasha, my best friend if you’ve forgotten and I am not going to hurt her! You can take your shitty ‘I love you’ and shove it right up your a-”

“Y/N!” Natasha exclaimed, catching your attention. You notice she’s sporting a smile and you give her a confused look. Why is she smiling? Her boyfriend just kissed her best friend! “Let him talk, will ya?”

You knit your eyebrows together. “But he-”

“We’re not dating.” she says. “We never really were.”

You look at Bucky then at Natasha then back at Bucky, waiting for him to confirm or deny what she just said but he just stands there, mouth opening and closing. Natasha rolls her eyes.

“Long story short, he was using me because of the attention and I was using him because of the attention.” you’re still confused and Nat sees this which causes her to continue. “I missed Bruce and I filled that emptiness with Bucky and he wanted to be with you but he didn’t think you felt that way about him so he filled that emptiness with me. We were just using each other. We were a distraction for each other. I never really liked him and he never really liked me. We were lying to ourselves. Bucky likes you, Y/N.”

“Oh..” you nod, eyes wandering to the floor while everyone waited for another reaction. You kept nodding your head as you processed everything Natasha told you. Bucky and Nat don’t like each other. He likes you. He likes you. Holy shit, he likes you! Is this real life? Should you pinch yourself? You glance around the room and subtly pinch yourself. Ouch. Definitely real life. Your eyes travel up to lock with Bucky’s and you gasp. “Oh!” you immediately wrap your arms around his neck. “I’m so sorry for hitting and kicking and slapping you, Buck! Oh my god, I’m so so so sorry.” you pull away enough to cradle his face in your hands. The brunette laughs and takes your hands in his.

“It’s okay, baby doll.” he says before placing a tender kiss on the back of your hand.

You look over at Natasha before making your way over to her. “Are you still my best friend?”

She cocks her head to the side. “Are you still mine?”

You smile. “Of course.”

Nat’s lips spread into a grin. “Same here.”

You hug the red head, squeezing her tightly while she laughed. When you pulled away, she looked over at Bucky. “See Bucky, I told you. Sisters before misters.”

The super soldier playfully rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, whatever, can I have her back now?”

The red head smirked. “For now.”

You laugh at the two as you walk back over to Bucky.

“I love you too, by the way.” your words make Bucky chuckle as his cheeks tint pink.

“So are we good?” he asked, lacing his fingers with yours.

You nod. “We’re good.”

The two of you hug each other and while doing so, Pietro comes next to you. “What did I tell you, my love?”

Even with your face buried in Bucky’s chest, you can still see the stupid smirk that’s plastered on the speedy sokovian’s face. In response to Pietro’ s words, Bucky takes a step away from him, bringing you with him. You smirk against his clothed chest and look up at him.

“Why’d you move?”

“Huh? Oh I just… wanted to stretch out my legs a bit.” he shrugged.

Your smirk only grows as you fully pull away from Bucky’s hold. “Mhm.”

Bucky takes your hand in his, the two of you walking out of your room. “I did!”

“Mhhmmm.”

“Okay, okay,” he chuckled, draping his arm over your shoulders. “I may or may not get a little jealous when you’re around Pietro.”

“I knew it!” you laugh.

“I mean, he calls you ‘my love’ like hello, excuse me, she’s mine, back up blondie.” he spoke and you laugh even more.

“Yours, huh?”

Bucky looks at you and smiles. “Shut up.” you two unknowingly make it to the elevator and once the doors close, he kisses the top of your head. “Wanna go get a milkshake?”

You nod. “Hell yeah I do.”

After all, getting milkshakes was a Y/N and Bucky thing.


A/N: ONE MORE PART TO GO SUCKAASSSS. Tell me what ya think!

TAGS ARE CLOSED BC I CAN’T KEEP UP WITH THEM

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sorreh to the peeps who didn’t get tagged!

It is so easy to starve yourself
in the same way she starved you of love.
It is so easy to withhold nourishment from your body
in the way she withheld nourishment from your soul.
It
is
so
easy
because that feeling of emptiness, of nothing inside 
is all
you have ever known
and so to feel full is so frightening, so unfamiliar
and apparently you are undeserving of that sensation
for how else can you defend her deprivation?
How else can you explain the fact
that the same woman who brought you into the world
the same woman who was your world
is the same woman who brought it crashing down around you?
How else can you explain that
if not by diminishing your own worth?
But darling,
what I wish you would realize 
what I wish you would open your eyes wide enough to see
is that none of
this
is your fault
but rather hers, 
rather due to her own inability to peer beyond her own demons
and see the angel that you are.
Darling, this is not your war
and your body is not a battlefield
nor are calories a crime.
Self-starvation is not your salvation
for it only continues the cycle she set
in motion.
The only one who can save you now
is you
and the only way out is to eat,
to fight through each tearful bite and merciless meal
to fight back against the urges and her voice shouting in your head,
to feed yourself and fight this sickness,
not the other way around.
Stop punishing your beautiful self for the cruelties she committed - 
the soul that should be serving time is hers and hers alone.
Darling, you are so much more 
than the unmothered child 
and
the unwanted daughter.
If you want to define yourself as un-anything,
be unbound, unleashed and uninhibited -
be more than the perfect puppet she wanted you to be.
Somewhere beneath the lies she laid upon you
and the criticisms and insults she said make up who you are,
somewhere beneath it all is YOU.
There is an innocent little girl and a powerful young woman
waiting to be released.
So darling, take a breath and unchain her,
darling, set yourself free once and for all.
Stop waiting for her to give a love she is incapable of ever giving
and learn to love
yourself
instead.
—  on overcoming an abusive mother, S.R.N.
Set Yourself Free (feat. Krewella)
Tiësto
Set Yourself Free (feat. Krewella)

“Indecision is the heart’s worst enemy,
The tunnel vision to a true identity,
It’s a landmine that everyone’s afraid to land, to land.

So let go even when it kills you,                                                    And break out from everything that builds you                            Wide awake, let your windows break.”