set the vodka on fire

fucked up shit Yami Yuugi does in the manga

or, why you should read the yugioh manga if you haven’t
or, Yami has No Fucking Chill

i was looking thru the yugioh manga and decided to make a list of all the crazy shit Yami does in the first seven volumes.

  • this one is pretty tame, but he makes a guy play a game where they stab a knife thru money while it lays on their hand. if they stab to hard they’ll stab their hand. he then proceeds to make the man hallucinate.
  • when he wins a game against a tv director (by cheating, just saying) Yami makes it so he’ll see in censor mosaic
  • he makes it so a fellow student’s heartbeat is so loud it’s unbearable
  • you know how everyone jokes that Yami sets a man on fire? that’s not a joke. he sets a guy on fire, via vodka and cigarette.
  • he plays a game with a fellow student where they play air hockey on a grill top with a chunk of ice that has an explosive substance in the middle. needless to say, Yami blows up his fellow student.
  • he poisons a man with his own pet scorpion… over a pair of sneakers.
  • remember in Duel Monsters when Pegasus trapped Kaiba’s soul in a card? Yami did that first. only he made it so Kaiba was being mercilessly maimed by the monsters in the cards. it was only temporary, and an illusion, but still.
  • he electrocutes like five guys all at once.
  • OKAY SO THIS ISN’T A FUCKED UP THING YAMI DID but when Yami plays Capsule Monsters with Mokuba for the first time, Mokuba says that if Yami loses he’s going to cut off one of Yami’s fingers. something else you miss out on from not reading the manga is Mokuba Kaiba being an evil gremlin and just as much of an asshole as his brother. also Mokuba apparently just casually carries a switchblade around, nbd.
  • when Mokuba loses, Yami traps him in a Capsule Monster capsule (that’s an illusion but still)
  • he also poisons Mokuba. like, Mokuba was being an asshole and totally deserved it, and it wasn’t entirely Yami’s fault, but there’s no way Yami didn’t slightly influence the turnout of this situation.
  • after their initial duel, he causes Kaiba to go into a vegetative state. it’s for Kaiba’s own good, but still, he doesn’t actually come out of comatose for several chapters.
  • When a kid challenges him to a game called Dragon Cards, where there is the possibility of having your soul imprisoned in a jar, Yami wins and the kid loses his soul we can only assume permanently (they made it so in the anime it was just the “evil” of his soul being imprisoned. in the manga… rip that kid, I guess.).
  • again this isn’t something Yami did, but you’ve probably heard about the infamous Yo-Yo Gang chapter. well, it’s real, and in that chapter, the gang almost hang Yuugi by the Millennium Puzzle. Yami then proceeds to send them all to the hospital by causing a roof to cave in beneath them. you aim yo-yos at the ground, you assholes.

after that, Yami finally finds most of his chill and stops mentally torturing people, at least for the most part. but seriously, you’re missing out on all this if you don’t read the manga, it’s a wild ride.

when a teacher crush is totally beneficial for your mood
  • me: "I want to smash my head into a brick wall... I'll drown myself in a bathtub full of vodka (and regrets).... I'm gonna set this school on fire!"
  • my tc: *walking past me - smiling like a pure cinnamon roll*
  • me: "okay is so perfect...I want to live forever! also school is great (◡‿◡✿)"

Its the year anniversary of the Gravity Falls Finale. I’m carrying a boombox, a bouquet of roses, and a bottle of straight vodka mixed with 8 Capri suns into the woods. I locate the spot where bill cipher’s shitty stone corpse is sitting. I set down the boombox and press play. A bass-boosted version of No One Mourns the Wicked blares out into the twilight. I place the flowers on his hand, take out a lighter, and set them on fire, then chug as much capri-sun-vodka as I can. I pour the rest out over his eye and whisper “to the sips you’ll never take, babe”

Time to Burn

The manga and Toei versions now align more closely with one another at this point. The criminal demands that Yuugi, on account of him looking cowardly, bring him what he wants. In the manga, he then demands that everyone else get on the floor (in the Toei version, he’s already demanded this). In the manga, he threatens that if anyone moves, he’ll kill Anzu, and in the Toei version, he threatens that he’ll shoot whoever moves, firing a warning shot into the air. In the manga, Jounouchi is pissed but gets down anyway, in the Toei version, Honda swears as he’s on the ground.

The criminal then demands cigarettes and alcohol – in the manga, he specifically requests “Lucky Stripes” brand cigarettes on account of him being lucky, in the anime he says that he had quit both of those, but now he felt free to indulge in them again.

In both versions, Yuugi then gathers the requested items. Anzu, thinking about what the criminal has said, figures out that it must be Yuugi. She stands up and calls out for him, telling him to stay away. The criminal slaps her, which causes Yuugi to scream for her before immediately getting taken over by Atem, who’s of course pissed that the criminal lay a hand on Anzu.

Atem sets the stuff down on the table, then casually sits across from the criminal. This pisses the criminal off, who demands “who said you could stay?”. Atem, unfazed, then says that he was just staying to play a game. In the manga, the criminal wonders if it was really the same person he demanded bring the stuff. In both versions, Anzu first thinks that it’s Yuugi who’s talking, but then thinks that it can’t be – although the voices are similar, there’s a subtle difference, and is much too confident to be Yuugi’s. In the manga, she also thinks that whoever it is, he must be crazy to talk that way to someone holding a gun.

The criminal laughs and agrees. In the Toei version, he adds that he used to gamble constantly in the past. Atem then warns the criminal – in the manga, he states that the loser will die, in the anime he says it’s a dark game where your life is at stake. The criminal says that’s interesting and asks to hear the rules. In the manga, he thinks to himself about how the kid is stupid to challenge him while he has a gun in his hand and can so easily kill him; in the anime, he thinks that he’ll show what happens when he’s underestimated.

It then cuts to Jounouchi, wondering what’s going on. In the manga, he’s stuck behind a fat guy and complains that he can’t see anything because of that.

Atem explains that there’s only one rule – they each pick one finger, and can only move that finger for the duration of the game (in the manga, he states that that’s as long as they sit at the table facing one another, in the anime he does not specify the end state). He then asks which finger the criminal chooses, who says that of course he picks his trigger finger, in order to fire the gun. Atem says that he chooses his thumb. The criminal thinks that that’s a stupid decision, thinking “what can he do with one thumb” and that he’ll kill him in an instant. Atem says that once the game starts, the criminal can do as he likes, even pull the trigger on him.

Atem declares the start of the game, and the criminal immediately declares that it’s game over, pointing the gun at Atem and preparing to fire. Atem merely flicks the lighter open with his thumb, which gives the criminal pause, as the cigarette in his mouth is not let lit.

In the manga, the criminal speaks aloud, saying that he had forgotten to ask for a lighter, as he hadn’t been allowed to smoke while in prison so it had slipped his mind that he needed it. He then states that he’ll let Atem light the cigarette, then kill him after that. In the anime, he just thinks that he’ll let him light the cigarette and then kill him, rather than saying it out loud.

Atem lights the cigarette, then lets the still lit lighter slip from his hands onto the top of the criminal’s other hand, which he had been using to pour vodka into the glass. He tells the criminal he can keep the lighter, and the vodka starts to overfill the glass, the criminal being unable to move, as the lighter will set the vodka on fire.

Atem states that firing the gun would cause the lighter to fall, and mentions that the vodka is 90% alcohol (in the anime he also says this, but in reverse order). He gets up from the table, taking Anzu by the arm and leading her away.

The manga and anime diverge again at this point – in the manga, the criminal protests this situation on account of how lucky he is, and the lit cigarette slips from his mouth into the vodka, causing him and the table to go up in flames.

In the anime, Jirou has the sense to put down the gun and use his now free hand to remove the lighter. Atem then cuts in, saying that he knew he couldn’t follow the rules (which is a little absurd on his part, since he never specified the end state and already himself pulled Anzu to safety). The eye appears on Atem’s forehead, and Jirou freaks out about it as Atem, with a cold anger, goes into his spiel about how the dark game reveals a person’s true nature and for breaking the rules, Jirou will face a punishment game. Not having it, Jirou grabs up the gun and prepares to shoot, but Atem imposes the penalty game, causing Jirou to fire upwards instead, and green and purple flames appear out of the gun, consuming him. This is revealed to be an illusion, as the rest of the restaurant hears his cries and sees him begging for the fire to be put out, but no fire.

The DM anime, of course is in a different situation altogether, although the original and dub go fairly similarly at this point. As the creep/mugger approaches Anzu, Yuugi bursts through the door calling for Anzu, and attempts to tackle this guy that’s twice his size in order to keep him away from her. He gets thrown into some equipment for his efforts. Anzu calls out for him and leaps forward to bite down on the creep/mugger’s arm. He throws her against the wall, knocking her unconscious (which leads to the question of how this flashback can continue, but it does). The puzzle then shines as Atem takes over (the dub gives it a bit longer of a transformation sequence than the original does).

As the creep/mugger approaches the unconscious Anzu, Atem startles him by demanding a game (in the dub, he also calls the mugger a coward). Because card games are the only law in this show, Atem pulls out his deck and says that they’ll each draw a card, with the one with the weakest card losing (in the dub he’s also a bit sassy about it, insulting the guy’s intelligence by saying that it’s “so simple even you could understand”). In the original he states that the loser goes to the Shadow Realm. The dub, surprisingly, does not invoke the Shadow Realm here, but instead Atem says that if the guy wins, he goes free, but if he loses, he’ll decide his fate.

The creep/mugger laughs it off, but Atem challenges him, asking if he’s scared. This goads the guy into coming over and drawing a card. He laughs and reveals Curse of Dragon. Atem closes his eyes and draws Black/Dark Magician, revealing it and announcing his win. The creep/mugger laughs again, and then tries to attack Atem, in the original saying “Let’s see how you win a man’s fight!” (are you implying that card games are not the most masculine form of interpersonal combat, sir?), and in the dub saying “Time to teach you a lesson”. Atem, in the most unimpressed tone (seriously, screencaps/text does not do it justice, go watch. Either version, because both do this), says a variation of his famous catchphrase in the original, and “I don’t think so” in the dub, and simply Mind Crushes the guy.

I definitely prefer the manga in this instance, mainly because the guy actually gets lit on fire. The Toei way of making it into an illusion just feels like a cop-out. And “Mind Crush” is just a boring, generic punishment in DM. No, come on, show us how screwed up and terrifying early Atem is, that’s what we all want! Only manga Atem gets to say this:

Originally posted by disneygetsgradschool

I do appreciate Atem’s sass in DM though. Not that he isn’t in the manga and Toei versions, but the way he says some of his lines there are really great. I also appreciate the way Yuugi and Anzu rushed to defend each other, even if ultimately it didn’t work.

The game in DM was also boring. Just each draw a card? Come on, I know the series is about Duel Monsters but that just felt lazy when the early manga/Toei games were generally creative, fun to watch/read, and exploited the flaws of the opponent. He cleverly tricked the criminal into that trap of fire, he was incredibly quick-thinking to read and take advantage of the situation like that. There was nothing like that in the DM version, no cleverness involved at all. Also…I thought he got those cards (or at least Black Magician) from his grandfather, which would have occurred after this point, since this is a flashback. I could be wrong about that, however. There’s also the fact that this is Anzu’s flashback, that somehow we get even though Anzu is unconscious and doesn’t actually recollect this part – it makes no sense, it would only make sense if it was Atem’s flashback, but it isn’t.

Sentence Starters: Archer Edition
  • [Feel free to add!]
  • "Bitch, I got ants all over me!"
  • "Sorry, ignore me. My whole thing is I just crave attention."
  • "Let's go, bitches! Tiger tranqs!"
  • "If I don't get something to eat, I'm literally going to die."
  • "Why do you always never shut up?"
  • "Private Me, reporting for sploosh!"
  • "Phrasing, boom!"
  • "Stop. Stop. My penis can only get SO erect."
  • "Maybe you can shut your dick holster!"
  • "I am literally wet with jealousy."
  • "Goddamn it, shut up, John Williams!"
  • "Girl, please. Nobody's THAT gay."
  • "Eat a dick, jungle."
  • "Who are you supposed to be? Topper Bottoms, stern yet sensual skipper of the U.S.S. Rough Service?"
  • “Something, something, danger zone! I know. I’m not even trying anymore.”
  • "Oh, you don't look like a whore. An idiot maybe? Or both! Yes. A whorediot."
  • "What the shit, _______?!"
  • "Your authority is not recognized in Fort Kickass."
  • "That... got a little dark."
  • "She is riddled with herpes."
  • "Just the tip!"
  • "No words. My words have failed me."
  • "I gotta go make an old man eat a big bowl of spiderwebs."
  • "Now who do I have to screw to get a drink around here?"
  • "Sorry, that's just a sympathy boner."
  • "I'm scared that if I stop drinking all at once, the cumulative hangover will literally kill me."
  • "It's pretty hard to stay anonymous when you're the world's greatest secret agent."
  • "Hey, we're out there risking our lives every—many of the days!"
  • "Come on! Run like you're younger!"
  • "Seriously, ______, call Kenny Loggins, because you're in the DANGER ZONE."
  • "There's not enough liquor and therapy in the world to undo that."
  • "We touched penises."
  • "Oh... I thought we were laughing at the dead people we set on fire."
  • "Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now, at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen."
  • "Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants."
  • “Does Internet porn know you’re cheating on it?”
  • “Are you kidding? Dude. Bros before apparent threats to national security.”
  • “I can’t hear you over the sound of my giant, throbbing erection!”
  • "Wait... I had something for this."
  • "Can't or won't?"
  • "Every single noun and verb in that sentence sexually arouses me."
  • "Just like the gypsy woman said!"
  • "Grill me a cheese."
  • "Holy shitsnacks!"
  • "Do you think this is a game?!"
  • "Who are you, Comrade Question?"
  • "Just let me clear off the ol' browser history..."
  • "For shit's sake."
@mindthevoices answered your ask “ I’ve had worse. ❞”

“I was a neurosurgeon. I can figure it out, don’t worry.  And I’d need a boatload of antibiotics for them to do anything, but I’m pretty sure I’ve got some fortified shit at the next safehouse.  We’re not far, and I’ll make sure I’m fine in the meantime.  Thanks for the wrap, 10k.  It’ll help while I wait for this to heat up.”  He flicked open a knife and set it in the fire after using some vodka to sanitize it.

anonymous asked:

Do you have any Inception fic recs? (: You have always been one of my favourite Inception authors, so I have full faith in your judgement ;)

Ohhhhh, anon. You just sent me back three years and three zillion opened tabs (because I never kept a cohesive rec list or pinboard when I was in Inception, I just bookmarked things in chrome and stuck them all in a folder labeled INCEPTION STUFF), but here are the results!

This isn’t by any means a definitive list and I know there are plenty of fics I’m forgetting, but I had to stop wandering down memory lane before it ate up my entire afternoon. In no particular order (Arthur/Eames unless otherwise specified):

All you need is a place to stand by Trojie - 6K, NC-17 - Eames in a skirt, tie bondage, top Arthur

Baby, You’re a Firework by cmonkatiekatie - 6.5K, NC-17 - Arthur has a hair trigger

Incipit by  thehoyden - 8.5K, NC17 - AU where Eames is an author and Arthur is his editor 

Autumn Road by Tabi - 70K, M - Follows Arthur and Eames through the years after they decide to share a safe house, will bring emotions of all kinds 

below the belt by versy - 3K, NC-17 - Straight-up beard porn, jailbait Arthur

Schmoop Bomb series by toomuchplor and xenakis - 39K, G through NC-17 - The one where Arthur and Eames settle down in Mombasa and adopt

What’s a Little Contract Hit Between Friends? by laceymcbain 6K, PG - Arthur (accidentally) puts out a hit on Eames 

Bless You, Autocorrect by anon, result of a particularly awesome prompt from the kink meme’s heyday: “They get together through a series of embarrassing Autocorrect fails.” 

untitled by anon - Saito teaches Robert Japanese. Robert is terrible at it, but Saito loves to hear him speak it anyway because the effort he puts into it is just too adorable. 

something here from somewhere else by skyvehicle - 8K, PG-13 - The one where Eames snores and it makes Arthur’s life hell 

Technically a Virtue by Mirabella - 8K, NC17 - The one where Eames has to forge wings and Arthur has a thing for it 

Map of the Sounds of Tokyo by fermine - R, Robert/Saito - AU where Robert is Saito’s new employee 

I set a fire (just to see what it kills) by pprfaith - 23K - Arthur has tattoos and a past Eames keeps digging into in spite of himself  

Heading North by Allothi - 4.5K - Arthur hitchhikes and Eames coincidentally picks him up

this just might hurt a little by gunsandbutter - 24K, NC-17 - Arthur’s a sub in a shitty d/s relationship. Eames notices 

Dumah by paxlux - 13K, M - Arthur’s subconscious wants to kill him 

All Our Wires Got Crossed by five_ht - 4.5K, NC-17 - D/s porn with feelings, hot as hell 

You Set Me On Fire (Moustache Ride) by vodka - 5.5K, NC-17 - Arthur gets rimmed and it’s great

How to Love a Mocking Bird by sparkledark and red_rahl - 2.7K, G - Arthur owns an African Grey parrot, to Eames’s despair

Sorry it had to be like this by weatherfront - Arthur/Cobb where Arthur gets drunk, Cobb comes to collect him, and everything is ridiculous

Hallefuckinglujah also by weatherfront - the one with priestkink and fucking in a church 

Trouble With Dreams by sparkledark - 40K, NC-17 - College AU in which Arthur is a cranky senior and Eames is a professor of Dream Psychology

The Material Life of the Californian Suburb by eleveninches - NC-17, 36K - Eames tries to become a good guy for Arthur’s sake (and was also raised on a hippie commune)

Antimony by jibrailis - NC-17, 54K - Dreamshare goes legal, Arthur goes corporate, Eames goes and (against his better judgement) falls in love.

It took 0.02 seconds before the impact hit them both. She went hysterical and he went insane. Neither of them were quite the same ever again. Laughter to cover up the mental scar that they left on each other. Lipstick stained vodka bottles, burnt out cigarette butts almost set the couch on fire.

But nobody saw this coming, everybody thought that she was the stars and he was the moon. What nobody understood was that, she was the stars, distant and out of his reach, and he was the moon but she didn’t give the light he needed. She wasn’t his sun.

I guess what I am trying to say is that, you weren’t the water I needed when I was dying of thirst, you were just a mirage

—  me (thelostsoul27)
Heart break doesn’t feel like they said it would.
It feels like a bottle of vodka and setting my skin on fire
Like drinking lava and keeping a straight face
Like you were the only thing keeping me alive
—  From Songs I’ll Eventually Finish