set the vodka on fire

Its the year anniversary of the Gravity Falls Finale. I’m carrying a boombox, a bouquet of roses, and a bottle of straight vodka mixed with 8 Capri suns into the woods. I locate the spot where bill cipher’s shitty stone corpse is sitting. I set down the boombox and press play. A bass-boosted version of No One Mourns the Wicked blares out into the twilight. I place the flowers on his hand, take out a lighter, and set them on fire, then chug as much capri-sun-vodka as I can. I pour the rest out over his eye and whisper “to the sips you’ll never take, babe”

fucked up shit Yami Yuugi does in the manga

or, why you should read the yugioh manga if you haven’t
or, Yami has No Fucking Chill

i was looking thru the yugioh manga and decided to make a list of all the crazy shit Yami does in the first seven volumes.

  • this one is pretty tame, but he makes a guy play a game where they stab a knife thru money while it lays on their hand. if they stab to hard they’ll stab their hand. he then proceeds to make the man hallucinate.
  • when he wins a game against a tv director (by cheating, just saying) Yami makes it so he’ll see in censor mosaic
  • he makes it so a fellow student’s heartbeat is so loud it’s unbearable
  • you know how everyone jokes that Yami sets a man on fire? that’s not a joke. he sets a guy on fire, via vodka and cigarette.
  • he plays a game with a fellow student where they play air hockey on a grill top with a chunk of ice that has an explosive substance in the middle. needless to say, Yami blows up his fellow student.
  • he poisons a man with his own pet scorpion… over a pair of sneakers.
  • remember in Duel Monsters when Pegasus trapped Kaiba’s soul in a card? Yami did that first. only he made it so Kaiba was being mercilessly maimed by the monsters in the cards. it was only temporary, and an illusion, but still.
  • he electrocutes like five guys all at once.
  • OKAY SO THIS ISN’T A FUCKED UP THING YAMI DID but when Yami plays Capsule Monsters with Mokuba for the first time, Mokuba says that if Yami loses he’s going to cut off one of Yami’s fingers. something else you miss out on from not reading the manga is Mokuba Kaiba being an evil gremlin and just as much of an asshole as his brother. also Mokuba apparently just casually carries a switchblade around, nbd.
  • when Mokuba loses, Yami traps him in a Capsule Monster capsule (that’s an illusion but still)
  • he also poisons Mokuba. like, Mokuba was being an asshole and totally deserved it, and it wasn’t entirely Yami’s fault, but there’s no way Yami didn’t slightly influence the turnout of this situation.
  • after their initial duel, he causes Kaiba to go into a vegetative state. it’s for Kaiba’s own good, but still, he doesn’t actually come out of comatose for several chapters.
  • When a kid challenges him to a game called Dragon Cards, where there is the possibility of having your soul imprisoned in a jar, Yami wins and the kid loses his soul we can only assume permanently (they made it so in the anime it was just the “evil” of his soul being imprisoned. in the manga… rip that kid, I guess.).
  • again this isn’t something Yami did, but you’ve probably heard about the infamous Yo-Yo Gang chapter. well, it’s real, and in that chapter, the gang almost hang Yuugi by the Millennium Puzzle. Yami then proceeds to send them all to the hospital by causing a roof to cave in beneath them. you aim yo-yos at the ground, you assholes.

after that, Yami finally finds most of his chill and stops mentally torturing people, at least for the most part. but seriously, you’re missing out on all this if you don’t read the manga, it’s a wild ride.