A/N: Happy Fic Friday everyone! Have a great weekend!
Welcome to Marvel High, where being the new kid wasn’t the worst. Your homeroom couldn’t be weirder though; your teacher wears an eye patch and is always shouting for some reason, and a group of dysfunctional teens calling themselves the “Avengers.” Probably the weirdest thing is their insistence that you join.
(not necessarily their actual signs, more what sign they remind me of)
Aries: My oldest cousin. Knew exactly what he wanted to do at uni. Does something incredibly clever involving coding and computers. Started his own company with a bunch of friends. Tells wild stories about setting fire to things with his school friends.
Taurus: My grandpa. Was a train engineer and now has free rides for life on public transport in our city. Owns a very extensive model train collection that my sister and I used to spend hours looking at. Insists on gardening and carrying things even when other people offer.
Gemini: My sister. Pivots between wanting to talk to everyone and wanting to talk to no one. Refuses to compromise. Views the world through a self oriented lens. Quick to complain to adults if things aren’t going her way. Very easily irritated. Holds a grudge like there’s no tomorrow.
Cancer: My aunt. Always wants the kids to clean up. The epitome of the working mum stereotype. Not very good at reading the room. Unable to keep cool under pressure. Cleans my grandparent’s house whenever she visits. Drinks a lot of wine. Not on good terms with my mum (scorpio).
Leo: My teenage cousin. Incredibly photogenic. Idolized by all the cousins. Always on her phone. Always has a fun plan. Good at making small talk and getting what she wants. Can be selfish but no one holds her accountable. The first one to suggest skinny dipping. Eats all the snacks.
Virgo: My dad. Has two modes, quiet and criticizing the government. Constantly talking about traffic problems and building plans. Doesn’t realize when he’s taking it too far. Often found reading newspapers or books. Is clueless about drama and jumps in before knowing all the details.
Libra: My older cousin. Studying to be a teacher. Had no life direction for ages. Good at keeping the peace among the younger cousins. Drinks a lot of tea. Always coming to visit the rest of the family. Loves music. Very good at small talk and keeping conversation moving.
Scorpio: My mum. Keeps to herself at family gatherings because she feels left out and complains about them afterwards (or beforehand) to my sister and I. Has a feud with my aunt (cancer) about how children should be raised. Has opinions on everyone’s actions and choices.
Sagittarius: My uncle. Lives on the other side of the world to everyone else. I can count the amount of times I’ve seen him on one hand. Has an ex fiancee who refuses to let him sell their house. I thought he was a photographer for years but apparently that’s just a hobby. What does he do??
Capricorn: me. Keeps quiet when the whole family’s there but speaks up when it’s a smaller groups. Outwardly feels like family gatherings are a waste of time but inwardly loves getting to see people. Likes hearing what people have achieved. Doesn’t like being the focus of conversation.
Aquarius: My nan. Very deaf but refuses to believe it. Has had several hip replacements but still climbs up multiple flights of stairs. Cooks a lot. Has pen pals in Germany. Has diabetes but no one knew until recently when she went to hospital for something else and it was on her chart.
Pisces: My grandma. Always calling up to organize lunches or dinners with the family. Just wants to spend time with everyone. Tells the same stories over and over again. Always passing on gifts she was given or clothes she no longer fits. Could stay on the phone for hours.
"Hi, I'm going to be the queen/king and you all are going to be the peasants.. WHERE ARE MY GRAPES? feed me." (thinks he/she is queen/king)
"I should really start my project.. or I can watch the pokemon marathon on tv.. yeah the project can wait.." *last minute* "oh shit.. I have a project.. I also have ice cream in the freezer.."
"WOW I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY RIGHT NOW." *10 minutes later sobbing into a pillow* "LIFE IS TOO HARD.." *sees puppy* "OMG A PUPPY!!1! :D"
(mood swings/changes mind constantly)
"In the fifth grade, Claire stole my apple sauce.. NO I DON'T CARE IF IT'S BEEN 10 YEARS AND THAT I'M ALLERGIC TO APPLES, SHE'S A SNEAKY BITCH."
*stubs toe* "OH MY FUCKING GOODNESS, GUYS THAT TABLE ATTACKED ME. IT'S LIKE GOD WANTED MY TOE TO DIE OR SOMETHING. I PROMISE YOU THAT TABLED MOVE ON PURPOSE JUST SO MY TOE WOULD FALL OFF AND BETRAY ME LIKE AUGUSTUS DID TO CAESER."
(over dramatic/drama queen/king)
*eats sibling's "cake"* "WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST EAT? IT TASTES LIKE PLAY-DOH WITH BOOGERS. oh.. it is play-doh? well, I didn't know.. you could have made it taste better.." *2 year old sister stares at you*
"Guys, I'm hungry let's go out and eat. What, no don't give me the choice to pick. I DUNNO KNOW WHAT I WANT, I CRAVE THE FOODS. fuck it let's go to a buffet and feast until I can no longer walk plz."
*talking to mom and dad* "What? No I absolutely love school, I have a burning passion for learning." *inside head* "Are you fucking kidding me? MORE LIKE I HAVE A BURNING PASSION TO SET THE SCHOOL ON FIRE AND THEN FRAME IT ON ALL MY ENEMIES AND AND AND WATCH THEM GET HAULED OFF TO PRISON."
*spills ice cream on shirt* "DAMN IT" *spills drink on pants* "FUCKKKKKKKK" *finds pizza stains* "WHAT THE FUCK I DIDN'T EVEN EAT PIZZA TODAY! oh well, I look like a hobo queen/king"
*mom/dad brings out baby albums* "WUT. NO. If you think a bowl cut is cute, let's give you a haircut right now and see how your coworkers feel about it, cause I'm sure as hell that they'll laugh at you and throw their juice box on your dora the explorer shoes." *mom/dad looks at you* "What no, I'm not mad because you guys gave me a bowl cut.. I'M NOT MAD I'M FUCKING SALTY."
"You can tell me all of your problems and I'll absorb them like memory foam. Do I have problems? Of course everyone does, but that doesn't matter right now. WHAT ARE YOUR PROBLEMS TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME."
(deals with too much)
*punches a bitch in her face* "I SWEAR SHE WAS ABOUT TO PULL OUT A GUN, IT WAS SELF DEFENSE!" *later that day* "No she didn't have a gun, she was being annoying as fuck and I wanted her to shut the fuck up. duh."