"Hi, I'm going to be the queen/king and you all are going to be the peasants.. WHERE ARE MY GRAPES? feed me." (thinks he/she is queen/king)
"I should really start my project.. or I can watch the pokemon marathon on tv.. yeah the project can wait.." *last minute* "oh shit.. I have a project.. I also have ice cream in the freezer.."
"WOW I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY RIGHT NOW." *10 minutes later sobbing into a pillow* "LIFE IS TOO HARD.." *sees puppy* "OMG A PUPPY!!1! :D"
(mood swings/changes mind constantly)
"In the fifth grade, Claire stole my apple sauce.. NO I DON'T CARE IF IT'S BEEN 10 YEARS AND THAT I'M ALLERGIC TO APPLES, SHE'S A SNEAKY BITCH."
*stubs toe* "OH MY FUCKING GOODNESS, GUYS THAT TABLE ATTACKED ME. IT'S LIKE GOD WANTED MY TOE TO DIE OR SOMETHING. I PROMISE YOU THAT TABLED MOVE ON PURPOSE JUST SO MY TOE WOULD FALL OFF AND BETRAY ME LIKE AUGUSTUS DID TO CAESER."
(over dramatic/drama queen/king)
*eats sibling's "cake"* "WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST EAT? IT TASTES LIKE PLAY-DOH WITH BOOGERS. oh.. it is play-doh? well, I didn't know.. you could have made it taste better.." *2 year old sister stares at you*
"Guys, I'm hungry let's go out and eat. What, no don't give me the choice to pick. I DUNNO KNOW WHAT I WANT, I CRAVE THE FOODS. fuck it let's go to a buffet and feast until I can no longer walk plz."
*talking to mom and dad* "What? No I absolutely love school, I have a burning passion for learning." *inside head* "Are you fucking kidding me? MORE LIKE I HAVE A BURNING PASSION TO SET THE SCHOOL ON FIRE AND THEN FRAME IT ON ALL MY ENEMIES AND AND AND WATCH THEM GET HAULED OFF TO PRISON."
*spills ice cream on shirt* "DAMN IT" *spills drink on pants* "FUCKKKKKKKK" *finds pizza stains* "WHAT THE FUCK I DIDN'T EVEN EAT PIZZA TODAY! oh well, I look like a hobo queen/king"
*mom/dad brings out baby albums* "WUT. NO. If you think a bowl cut is cute, let's give you a haircut right now and see how your coworkers feel about it, cause I'm sure as hell that they'll laugh at you and throw their juice box on your dora the explorer shoes." *mom/dad looks at you* "What no, I'm not mad because you guys gave me a bowl cut.. I'M NOT MAD I'M FUCKING SALTY."
"You can tell me all of your problems and I'll absorb them like memory foam. Do I have problems? Of course everyone does, but that doesn't matter right now. WHAT ARE YOUR PROBLEMS TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME."
(deals with too much)
*punches a bitch in her face* "I SWEAR SHE WAS ABOUT TO PULL OUT A GUN, IT WAS SELF DEFENSE!" *later that day* "No she didn't have a gun, she was being annoying as fuck and I wanted her to shut the fuck up. duh."