seriously though there must be an easier way to make this sort of edit

Hogwarts School Uniform

The other day I read a series of posts on the Hogwarts uniform and how book!uniform differs from movie!uniform, which is more canonical and whether there’s been/there should be some retconning to unify the books, films and illustrations from different sources. Since wizarding fashion is one of my favourite subjects (particularly since the word “corsets” was mentioned in HBP), I thought I had to write a post about it. So here it goes.

On tradition and unmuggleness

As much as I like the movie uniforms, the way I see it, they’re irreconcilable with those described in the books, which, both because they’re from the book and because that’s how I see them in my head, I consider canonical. Most people point out as proof of this that in a couple of occasions we are told more or less directly that the basic (I’ll talk more about this later) uniform does not bear any house indicator (see the Penelope Clearwater and Crabbe-and-Goyle’d Ron-and-Harry Cases, both in CoS). This is true. However, what I see as a bigger issue is the fact that the movie!uniform is basically a muggle school uniform with robes instead of a blazer, which, considering how often we see wizards struggling with muggle clothing, doesn’t really add up. And given that school uniforms tend to be on the conservative side of fashion, it would make much more sense to have the Hogwarts uniform resemble traditional wizarding attire.

On openings and trouserslessness

The movie robes are completely open at the front save for one (PoA-onwards) or two (PS-CoS) little clasps, which would take next to no time to do up and undo, so the movie robes would be put on and off like a bathrobe or a coat. However, most (if not all) of the times we see Harry changing into his school robes he’s described as pulling them over his head. To me that implies that the front is not open all the way down, that maybe there’s just a small opening with a few buttons, like a polo shirt. Either that or the robes are open all the way down but fastening and unfastening them is so tedious that students simply never do them up or undo them all the way. In a pre-zipper world, a front opening like that would most probably mean a metric tonne of little buttons, at least (look up some old-timey portraits, particularly of women’s fashion. They took their buttons seriously). No one has time to fiddle with that many buttons, so it would be easier to undo a few of the top ones and pull the robes over your head.

Personally, I think the left-hand version fits the description of “plain black work robes” better. And yes, there’s no indication anywhere in the books that the sleeves are flared or gathered at the top, but they look more wizardy this way, so. 

For an even more undeniable piece of evidence that supports the idea of having a closed front, look no further than Snape’s worst memory in OotP. When he gets levicorpused by James, we see his underwear. He’s not wearing trousers. Wh. Why is he not wearing trousers??? Because there’s no risk of accidental exposure of one’s undergarments when there isn’t a massive opening on the front of one’s robes, that’s why. Also, if for some sinister reason he had not been wearing trousers under open-fronted robes, everybody would’ve been able to see his pants already and it wouldn’t have been “funny” when James revealed them.

Moreover, it seems that trousers, even though they are worn in the wizarding world, are neither required nor part of traditional wizarding attire. See the old man at the Quidditch World Cup. Trousers have been adopted to some extent, but they are not considered wizarding clothing per se, but rather a garment borrowed from muggles. So if we go back to the idea that uniforms tend to be conservative, the Hogwarts uniform would have probably been designed to be worn with no clothes underneath other than underwear.

On hats gone with the wind and cloaks

Hats. “One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear.” Day wear. In the films (PS, basically), hats seem to only be worn on special occasions. And I can understand that; On set they’re probably a huge inconvenience as they like to fall off and have to be touched up constantly and may cover something/someone important. Still, canonically, a pointed black hat for day wear is part of the Hogwarts uniform.

Now, do not quote me on this, but I am positive that in one of the books there is a description of a windy day where students grab the brims of their hats so that they don’t get blown off. That’s the one and only time in the whole series (that I can remember) where the uniform hats are said to be brimmed. It makes sense, though, as traditional witch hats do have a brim. Modest brims seem adequate for uniforms. (I do think it is strange to make students wear hats indoors, but oh well.)

(Edit:  ‘ “Maybe I’ll skive off Divination,” he said glumly as they stood again in the courtyard after lunch, the wind whipping at the hems of robes and brims of hats.’ - OotP, chapter 17)

Then there’s the winter cloaks. Again, plain and black, this time with silver clasps. No crest, no house colours. And there’s also the protective dragonskin gloves, which seem to be used both as protective gloves for Potions/Care of Magical Creatures/Herbology and as regular winter gloves.

On house pride (or the lack thereof)

So far we have established that the uniform consists basically of plain black garments: a set of black robes (closed front), a black cloak, a black hat. Hence, by default, there is no way to tell what house a student belongs to just by their attire. Or is there? Here’s where the “basic uniform” I mentioned  before comes into play.

It is true that the robes, hats and cloaks are plain black when bought. And yet, there are many points in the story when Harry seems to simply know what house some students belong to, even when he clearly doesn’t know them. We get constant references to “a gorup of first year Ravenclaws” or “a Hufflepuff girl”, and since the story is told from Harry’s point of view rather than an omniscient narrator’s, there must be a way for Harry to tell apart people from different houses without knowing them personally. So how can we reconcile the ideas that some people’s house is recognisable at first sight while other people’s isn’t? It’s quite simple: CUSTOMISATION.

Bagdes, scarves, appliques, ribbons, hat ornaments, buttons, socks, belts, and a long etc, to show your house pride. Just as we can get jumpers and hoodies and caps and whatnot with the name and colours of our uni or specific college, kids in the wizarding world are probably able to buy (and make) house merchandise. These items would be available at Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade, and parents would send them to their children once they’ve been sorted or the kids themselves would be able to get them via owl order.

Some students may only wear a small badge on their chest. Others a scarf+turtleneck undershirt+bandana+animal-shaped hat bauble combo. I love to imagine some kids wearing ridiculously tacky things, like red-and-gold neck ruffles or bee-striped boots. And those kids who are not as inclined to show off their house? They can just wear their basic black uniform.  

bellaandtheinfinitesadness  asked:

Like idk if you do request or ideas or whatever, but an au where 2017 dan is teaching the reader (or 2009 phil), how to fuck 2009 dan. Would actually be awesome.

Sorry for the long ass wait. If you have trouble reading om mobile, open in your phone browser y’all.

Dan Howell has always had a problem with finishing things. There’s a file on his computer with an endless list of unfinished video ideas, a half-completed photo board he started about a year ago pushed under his bed, and about five songs on piano that he’s only taught himself a quarter of the way through. He’s never been great at finishing things he’s started, so it’s no surprise that he’s the same when it comes to sex.

Keep reading

The Middle-Earth Magazine!

So! As promised, I would like to outline my ideas about maylovely’s suggestion of a fanfiction anthology / fan magazine.

Times of publication

Having thought it through a little bit more advancedly than before, I believe that a publication could be realised every three months (that obviously means 4 times a year). There are several reasons why this is sensible:

·         Four is a very even number, and gives us the first-handed opportunity to organise our stuff following the seasons, if we want

·         To publish the magazine every month or every two months, I believe, is not realisable at once. We wouldn’t have enough authors at first, not to mention it would take a hell lot of time and organization. We all have our private lives to carry out at the first place, and if we want quality work, we must take our time as well.

·         Publishing more rarely leads us to choose better what should we put in the magazine, and perhaps to discover more (and more various) stuff as well.

·         A one-month deadline can be very stressful for a writer. Three is much better.

Format

A)      The pdf format

Advantages:

·         A LOT easier, at least, at the beginning

·         It can be printed at request and we don’t have to contact professionals who tax us all over.

·         Easier to share (you cannot reblog a newspaper, can ya…)

Disadvantages:

·         It’s not strikingly different from other forms of internet publication

·         No „book effect” – so you can’t smell it, can’t color it with pens, can’t fold an origami dragon out of it… but I guess all of that is pretty obvious.

My suggestion: I would start in pdf format, merely to see how many people are interested. If any of us REALLY chooses to start this project, though, we should produce a lot of material beforehand for people to get interested. Meaning that the first few volumes wouldn’t be popular, but that can’t discourage us.

If the need rises, though, paper format could be incredibly awesome.

B)      The paper format

This would mean that we start off with an actual magazine from practically the beginning. We’d probably have a pretty hard time with it, but there’s a chance that people would take it more seriously. In this case, though, we should really pay mind to any sort of possible financial gain from making this thing and sending it to anyone, because we don’t own this stuff; and if we’re sued, no lawyer will be able to save us. (I have no idea how it works with the AOA Anthology, by the way).

A few suggestions about contents

I believe that we all agree on including the entire timeline and mythological entity of Arda, from the creation of the world to the very Dagor Dagorath. However, the first „fiasco” we encounter is the problematic of people’s preferences between gen and non-gen writings.

Frankly (and personally) speaking, I am a gen writer, I’ve always been one and I don’t see that fact changing in the foreseeable future, but I don’t think that we should exclude any, ANY kind of fiction (and possible audience). Only, we should make the distinction clear to avoid unpleasant surprises for people who don’t like this or that. This raises two main possibilities:

#1 Publishing gen and non-gen fanfictions at alternance; that means the spring edition is for general audiences, for example, then summer is for slash and everything else, and fall is for general stories again, and so on.

#2 Making the distinction between a gen and non-gen section WITHIN each published magazine. I’m all for this idea: it has more sense of community, and writers of different taste could perhaps get to understand each better if they were forced to work together (or publish together) a bit.

#3 WE SHOULD TOTALLY DO CO-STORIES! I mean, I’ve always wanted to try and work together with someone on a one-shot, a multichap or anything, and I’ve always thought myself incapable of that. Furthermore, I just couldn’t find anyone who matched my writing style the way I wanted, but it’s true that I had absolutely no idea how to look for such a person.

#4 We should have a „review” section, where several writers (or enthusiastic readers) share their thoughts about the previous edition’s contents. From the (hopefully) numerous incoming reviews, we could choose those that seemed the most useful (including stylistical advice, world-building advice, interesting headcanons, general opinions and/or deeper insight about something, and so on), and publish those in the next instalment. Reviews, by the way, should be e-mailed to the authors AND editors as well.

#5 About multichapter stories: They could appear continuously (and chapters could always end with a cliffhanger! ;) ). More seriously, this would mean a chance for authors to make a fan-base for their longer stories. But I’d greet with any other kind of story with great pleasure as well. And POEMS, too!

#6 It would be very cool as well if we left some place for studies, headcanons, Quenya or Sindarin (or Khuzdul, or any) lessons from all Ages and races.

#7 People could ask questions about the canon that would be answered in the next edition (three months are a bit long for an answer, but it could be considered).

#8 WE SHOULD HAVE SOME KIND OF SECTION THAT SUPPORTS OC-S. Please. I’m kind of fed up with the fact that as long as you write about an OC, people are much less interested. Yes, it’s understandable, and normally there are many Mary Sue-s (or Marty Stu-s), but they deserve a chance.

#9 All in all, I guess that stories should take the most place, they should be the core of the whole magazine. All the other stuff only supports, or (in a way) underlines that.

Who gets to publish?

·         ANYONE. And for those who have difficulties in English and would like to learn, we could set up a Beta-system

·         However, I think that a slight distinction should be made between guest-authors and „admin”-authors. In this concept, being an „admin” would mean that you’re publishing various things in each and every edition, sometimes you may even get a place for your story on the first page, BUT responsibility comes with that: you have to review. And not just three lines each time: you have to work your brain a bit, and/or become the Beta of someone, or help the publication of the magazine with any other sort of action. I believe this is necessary because elsewise, the whole magazine thing would come out as a magnificent, beautiful project with 3865124754174304365 notes, but NO COMMENTS AT ALL.

·         The chief editors should be the bosses, beause we need some people with authority (see below)

·         Each and every writing should be checked for quality (grammar and basic stylistical issues).

·         GOOD SUMMARIES SHALL BE NEEDED, because as the base of authors would (hopefully) grow, magazines would just get freaking long, and we’d need some overview on the front pages to get people’s attention on one story or the other.

What kind of people we need?

·         Two or three chief editors per fanfiction section (Hobbit/LotR/Silm/etc…), all of them writers themselves. One of them at least should be a slash writer, and one other at least a gen writer per each section (it’s possible as well, of course, that a person writer both slash and gen, but just for the record). by making this distinction, I’d hope to avoid people’s preferences to take over their decisions on what stories shall be published and it what order. (Just because you don’t like a certain character or pairing, you should let the story appear, etc).

·         Several other editors per fanfiction section

·         Two or three chief editors for each other section

·         At least one designer (for a logo, and all)

·         Someone really-really-really good at English grammar and style, preferably a native; for BETA-s, editorial work or anything else

·         Someone with good marketing vibes

·         Someone who knows how to organize things

·         A „sales manager” in case we actually publish the thing on paper

·         ILLUSTRATORS!!!!!!! Just how awesome could it be to have your writing ILLUSTRATED? I know many people know this and many people get this, but I, for one, have never known this joy…

·         (suggestions here?)

So… that’s it, for now, I’ve tried to mention everything I deemed important. Please make suggestions ;) is this OK, is this or that stupid… or have you thought about anything else?

(Please note that everything I wrote here is just my personal opinion and idea).

Should we really, actually get this going?

Tags as requested: @maylovely@inkstranger@writingsofa-hobbit@little-red-83@contemporaryelfinchild @isilloth @maedhrosrussandol @aftershocked @gultgull @wearedurinsfolk @swlotakulady34 @advice-from-kennie @myaire21 @jaeheesbae

Have a look as well, you might like this suggestion: @shewhodoesnotexist @calendille @hirfael @trycona @raisingcain-onceagain @feanope @nerdanelparmandil and really everyone please tag people who could be interested, this is fun