seriously that shit is crazy

Yes, Sir // A Mitch Rapp Smut

Collab With The One And Only @stilinski-jpeg

Relationship: Mitch Rapp x Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Explicit Sexual Content, Smut, Violence (like seriously some crazy shit goes down), Oral (69), Fingering, Multiple Orgasms, Overstimulation, Unprotected Sex, Rough Sex, Choking, and Swearing.

Word Count: 9,859 

Song: Young God by Halsey

A/N: Hey guys! Welcome to day 2 of #MitchWeek! Yes, this smut is completely inspired by that bathtub scene from the trailer. I came up with this idea and immediately told Nia about it to which she said and I quote “if you don’t write this, I will.” And so we decided to turn it into a collab! I hope you guys love how intense this is as much as we do. We really felt no need to hold back.

“I don’t need a babysitter.” Mitch snarled at Stan Hurley as the pair walked down the long hallway.

“If anyone needs a babysitter, it’s you.” Stan chuckled at his least favourite trainee’s expense.

Keep reading

I’m seeing a lot of young transgender or non-binary people out there freaking out or going completely silent and removing all their info from their bios in light of the recent news in America. And I get that, I really, truly do.

But I also want you guys to know that it’s safe to come talk to me if you’re feeling pressured or scared or angry or whatever you’re feeling. If you’re comfortable with talking to me, go for it. :)

Secondly, if you’ve spoken to me about your gender for whatever reason, and are feeling scared about someone else finding out or you being being outed for any reason, please know that I will never reveal anything we have spoken about, anything you have sent to me or asked me about (as an anon or not) to anyone. What we discuss is private, and unless you give me permission to respond publicly or speak about it to others, it will stay between us. Always.

Tracy McConnell and Robin Scherbatsky DESERVED BETTER.

I’m still fucken bitter about this.

Tracy was used for creating the children that Ted wanted for him,
and then to go to Robin Scherbatsky (the ex-wife of one of your dearest friends), and just what “get back together”??

Was he in love with her the entire duration of his relationship/marriage with Tracy?

And Robin Scherbatsky, the woman who OVER AND OVER made it clear that she never loved Ted, in that way. THrough multiple seasons. To THEN just get together with the man that baggered her for quite some FUCKEN time. 

lunalovegouda  asked:

omg am i crazy or were you in a buzzfeed outsmarted video? if not there is a dude who looks a lot like you in one

Good eye! 

That is me, tired as hell, guest starring in this Buzzfeed video. 

Here are some fun facts about said shoot:

1. I’m just getting off a graveyard shift in this video, so I’m pretty much just having a blast. The button up short sleeve and tank top were part of my uniform and I didn’t really change. 

2. A LOT of my dialogue was cut. I wasn’t a focal point, to be fair, but I seriously said a ton of Drew Droege-esque borderline crazy shit.  (If that’s not ringing any bells, go look up Chloe Sevingy on YouTube). 

3.  The crew was super nice, very fun. One of the guys I made out with, Jarryl, I knew beforehand. We’ve made some silly short videos together. 

4. The lead actors and CIA guy are straight. Tragic. 

5. My line about the break-up? Absolutely true. I was less than a month single at the time. Main reason I took the gig- I thought it would be great to get paid for making out with a lot of guys. 

6. For being straight, Mike is a really passionate guy kisser. 

Literal TV Titles
  • NCIS: The spin-off that became TV's number one drama and stayed there for the past eleven-thousand years.
  • NCIS LA: Bang Bang, Sexy Time.
  • NCIS NOLA: The spin-off that takes place in New Orleans.
  • Supernatural: Two hot brothers hunt down monsters by being fake FBI agents.
  • Jane the Virgin: Virgin latino Christian gets pregnant through major mishap.
  • Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: Do not let the title fool you.
  • Criminal Minds: Hot profilers profile crazy shit around the US.
  • Criminal Minds Suspect Behavior: The spin-off nobody cared about.
  • CSI: Hot CSI's solve crimes like cops.
  • CSI Miami: Guy takes off sunglasses. And there are CSIs.
  • CSI NY: The spin-off that people managed to care about.
  • CSI Cyber: Seriously, can we get this over with?
  • Criminal Minds Beyond Borders: Crazy shit goes down around the world. (AKA the spin-off people actually cared about. Also Gary Sinese is in it.)
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Heroic yet angsty teenager fights off the Apocalypse with her team of trusted friends, the Scoobies.
  • Angel: Heroic yet angsty vampire fights everything else in LA.
  • The Flash: The fastest man alive and awesome team.
  • Arrow: Felicity and friends.
  • Legends of Tomorrow: People trying not to destroy the time stream.
  • Supergirl: It's not a bird, it's not a plane, it's not a man.
  • The Vampire Diaries: Complicated vampire romance.
  • The Originals: Dysfunctional family and daddy issues.
  • Friends: The comedy that started it all.
  • How I Met Your Mother: The show that people have to compare to Friends. (It's not!)
  • Veronica Mars: Teenage detective who's also a hot outcast.
  • Law and Order: Law and order.
  • Law and Order SVU: Law and order plus sex crimes.
  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The law. Without the order.
  • Bones: The greatest couples of the century. And bones!
  • Grey's Anatomy: Hot doctors have personal problems.
  • Chicago Fire: Hot firefighters in Chicago.
  • Chicago PD: Hot cops in Chicago.
  • Chicago Med: Hot doctors in Chicago.
  • Chicago Justice: Hot lawyers in Chicago. (Do you see it?)
  • Code Black: Los Angeles doctors and blood!
  • One Tree Hill: This small town has lots of issues.
  • Pretty Little Liars: Four girls, lots of issues.
  • New Girl: Adorkable teacher moves in with four guys.
  • Castle: It got canceled.
Eurovision is right around the corner and I have a few reminders:
  • many people watching (and therefore voting) are being exposed to the songs and artists for the very first time. They have no personal attachment to the singers, they don’t know how fun they are in interviews or in their instagram posts. They vote based on what they see on the night (and maybe whatever little info they get from their commentator). This means that even though might be a a fun, chill guy offstage, if you come across as too serious and creepy on live tv, people won’t vote for you. This goes double for saturday night

Lower your expectations. Expect the worst.Almost Nothing is guaranteed. The bookies get things wrong. The online polls reflect the opinions of fans and not the general audience.I say this because I love you and I don’t want you to feel devastated in the case your favourites don’t make it from the semi-finals or finish horribly in the final

  • I wrote the above last year. I didn’t follow my own advice and I still mourn “hear them calling”. I know many of you feel the same. Let’s all try to do better this year
  • Wherever you are from, I promise you Europe doesn’t hate your country as much as you might believe, In fact, Europe in general probably doesn’t hate you at all. You might have actual conflicts with one or two of your neighbouring countries and that might have actual impact in the voting, idk, but people from other countries most probably don’t actively hate you. This goes double for the UK

And finally, and more importantly:

  • You’re invited. Whoever you are, wherever you are from, you are invited. Eurovision is a celebration of culture of all around Europe (+Australia) and it’s incredibly fun. Seriously, all kind of crazy shit happens. There are also incredibly talented artists who’ve worked really hard and are trying to represent their country as best as possible, so try to have a little respect for them.
    If your country doesn’t broadcast the show, there’s an official youtube livestream (that hopefully won’t be blocked for you) and there’s a few alternative livestream links circulating

Let’s all have a great time and celebrate diversity

GUYS‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

THE GORILLAZ APP FINALLY UPDATED AND YOU GET TO GO TO THE BASEMENT‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

IT’S REALLY COOL AND THERE’S CODES AND STUFF AND IT’S REALLY WEIRD BUT SO AWESOME‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

I WON’T GIVE AWAY THE WHOLE THING, BUT IT’S SERIOUSLY CRAZY‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

HOLY SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Day 3 – First Date

“You are so lame,” Philip says.

 Lukas’s heart falls for half a second before he sees Philip’s teasing grin. He scratches the back of his neck, trying to look cool. 

“Yeah, well, it took, like, five seconds anyway.”

 Philip arches a brow, gesturing at the picnic blanket and the stupid little plates and forks and checkered napkins Lukas so loving arranged. “Fine,” Lukas admits, refusing to meet Philip’s gaze. “It took a while.”

 Philip shakes his head. “This is cute, you dumbass. I love it.”

 "You do?“ Lukas knows he sounds stupid and hopeful and lovesick.

 And then Philip is kissing him, smiling against his lips, and he tastes like happiness, sweet and strong. Lukas still feels stupid and lovesick, but that warm, unfamiliar feeling in his stomach rises up again, flooding through his whole body.

 "Of course I do,” Philip murmurs.

 His eyes are soft, and Lukas stares at the little mole underneath his bottom lip, wondering if it’s too early to make wedding plans. 

 Between mouthfuls of sandwich, Philip tells Lukas about his time in Idaho. “—that shit was crazy. I mean, seriously, this girl had five boyfriends in the same school, and she honestly thought none of them would find out. You should’ve seen the confrontation, I was choking on my laughter. I was crying." 

 And then he’s laughing, and Lukas is laughing, and their laughter carries across the lake, loud and joyous.

 Lukas lets Philip spoon-feed him bites of ice cream as he lies in Philip’s lap. "This is so gay,” Lukas says. He can feel Philip tense, and he sits up, grinning. “I’m so gay." 

 Philip’s answering smile is magic.

 Afterwards, they hold hands and walk back to the car. For the first time in a long time, Lukas feels content. He feels happy. "So I didn’t mess up our first proper date?” he asks. Philip squeezes his hand. “It was perfect.”

tsukkiyasu  asked:

AC

FACT: Asano-kun is number 1 in many things. Here’s an entire list of things he’s number 1 at!

  • The number of times he’s been 1st place on the Nationwide Comprehensive Mock Exam [LOL]
  • The amount of Honorable Certificates and trophies he’s received
  • The number of times he’s pointed out a teacher’s mistakes
  • The amount of fanmail he’s received
  • The number of foreign languages he’s learned (Middle School Division)
  • The number of times he has tutored his classmates
  • The number of times he’s been called to the Chairman’s office [LOLOL, normally this would be a bad thing]
  • The number of times he has joined a sports club as a helper [ie: soccer club when they’re one player short in an official match, etc.]
  • The number of friends he has all over the world (including space) [WTF MATSUI]
  • The number of times he has been scouted by both professional sports teams and entertainment companies [idols, models, singers, etc.]

His friends say:

Sakakibara Ren: “I’ve got a lot of self-confidence in myself, but I can’t compare to Asano-kun.” [In ability, not confidence] [I think]

Kevin the American Footballer: “Asano is a really good guy, but real talk his father is seriously crazy, shit!”

Asano says: “There’s even more things than this!” [Shut the hell up boy, why do I like you so much]

(WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN “INCLUDING SPACE”?! WHAT DOES THE ASANO FAMILY KNOW THAT NASA DOESN’T?!)

10

DUDE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH AMANDA BYNES