seriously that is such a bad idea

the media: we didn’t actually think trump would get anywhere so we didn’t take him seriously and then we took him too seriously and made him out to be a normal presidential candidate and created false equivalencies between him and Hillary to make mismanaged emails out to be as bad as virulent bigotry and sexual assault which all seemed like a good idea at the time because ratings and viewership

me, hillary, the majority of the american electorate, anyone trump ever insulted, obama, the world, jesus fucking christ himself

Imagine your OTP- Things I've said to my SO
  • "Why the fuck are there three different rolls of paper towels??"
  • "Do we need lessons on how ziplock bags work?"
  • "Taking off my clothes takes effort. I'm sleeping on the futon."
  • "At what point if any did it cross your mind that this might be a bad idea?"
  • "TECHNOLOGY HATES ME OH MY GOD I KILLED THE MICROWAVE."
  • "Wake me up if you want something!! Seriously! Sleepy sex is awesome!"
  • "Please kill it. Preferably with fire."
  • "See, this is why we're together. No one else could handle our terrible puns."
  • "YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO STAB YOURSELF OPENING YOUR ANNIVERSARY GIFT GO TO THE HOSPITAL."
  • "I love you. but I swear to you if you keep leaving lunch containers in the sink without putting soapy water in them I will kill you slowly."
  • "Dude, we're old... your brother just left with a 24-pack of bud ready to party, and we're sitting in front of the TV with Netflix and fancy cheese."
  • "These potatoes in the fridge are starting to flower... can I toss them?"
  • "Sleep is for those that haven't been struck with inspiration."
  • "I'll sleep when I'm dead."
  • "Sweetie, I appreciate the thought, but I meant A 50c PACKAGE of reeses, I didn't need the whole candy aisle."
  • "Goddamn it why are you so sweet."
  • "I just got out from babysitting and I am having my tubes tied immediately."
  • "I AM NOT CUTE GODDAMN IT I AM INTIMIDATING."
  • "Let me rephrase, I'm getting mongolian. if you'd like, you can come along, but if not, that's cool too. but I want mongolian."
  • "You bought WHAT for HOW MUCH?"
  • "I love your mother, but I almost reached across the table and wrapped my hands around her throat."
  • "Why do we even NEED more bass?"
  • "SCIENCE MOTHERFUCKER"
  • "You may want to hide the alcohol because I may die from how much and how badly I want to drink right now."
  • "Aaaack that freaks me out when you do that!!"
  • "Everything hurts and I'm dying, but I'm not pregnant this month so that's nice."
  • "STOP TICKLING ME YOU ASSHOLE I WILL NIPPLE PINCH YOU"
musicals ft. summaries

Phantom of The Opera: gross goth guy lives beneath sewer and writes an opera

Natasha, Pierre and The Great Comet of 1812: seriously who the fuck writes an electropop opera about a 1200 page russian novel

Hamilton: seriously who the fuck writes a hip hop musical about alexander fucking hamilton

Zombie Prom: you know, taking your dead ex-boyfriend to prom may have seemed like a good idea in theory but im not sure anymore

In The Heights: somehow humorous and depressing all at the same time, also gay

Lizzie the Musical: okay im not kidding this time who the fuck writes a musical about lizzie fucking borden

Heathers the Musical: dating creepy guys in trench coats is probably a bad idea

Carrie the Musical: if you make fun of someone for getting their period, you’re in for a big surprise buddy

Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson: who the actual fuck comes up with the idea to write a musical about the seventh president of the usa

Wicked: green gay meets pink gay and it’s pretty gay

Ghost Quartet: who the fuck comes up with this shit though

Les Misérables: emotional pain feat. gay revolutionaries

Spring Awakening: not explaining puberty to sexually frustrated teenagers is probably a bad idea

Waitress: deep shit blueberry pie and overly lovable characters

21 Chump Street: drugs are not the way to a woman’s heart, apparently

Sweeney Todd: okay no seriously who the everliving fuck comes up with this shit

Love Never Dies: i don’t have any funny joke for this lnd just sucks

CATS: i mean i guess writing a musical about cats may have seemed like a good idea in theory

Starlight Express: what the fuck alw

Writing tips #1
  • Set up a sanctuary for your writing, don’t let anyone interrupt you. Listen to music, get a ceremonial drink. And write write write 
  • Don’t edit until the end, if you’re writing a novel. Seriously, you’ll just go back through again and again. Within a years time, you’ll realize you need to edit the entire thing. Just keep writing. 
  • This one is a bit odd, but I don’t believe in keeping a notepad. Stephen King says, “Keeping a notepad with you is a good way, to immortalize bad ideas. If the idea is good enough, it will stick”. (Note* the only thing I put in notes on my phone is character names, I’m bad at remembering long names.) 
  • Every first draft is absolute shit. Ideas will be jumbled, mixed up; not consistent. Don’t fret, it doesn’t matter how rough a rough draft is. 
  •  If you can’t figure out the mood you want for a certain scene, get up, take a breath. Call a friend, walk your dog, read a book, play a video game. Do something to clear your head, don’t worry. Harry Potter wasn’t written in one sitting. 


That’s all for today guys, thanks for all the support on this blog. Let me know if you have any ideas about other writing tips, I’ll try to do this as often as possible. I hope everyone has a great holiday season! 

I don’t know what to say about all these pictures of Sans with a glowing penis…… Why. just Why. xD
everytime I see a pic like this, I just can’t take it seriously.
to me, if he really had this “thing”, he would only make stupid things with it like… idk, being a lamp. yeah.
and then he would probably make an epilepsy because of it xD
but Hey, I’m not juging. do whatever you like. (even if drawing a skeleton with a glowing penis is a liiiittle weird. Just a little.)


I’m sorry the quality is terrible… I draw with my 3ds (and as you can see, the quality is bad) and I make the animation with my phone so… I don’t use very professional stuff xD but you get the idea-

  • fanon holtzmann: smooth 24/7, Sex God, knows exactly what to say and it is hilarious, makes you gay even if you Don't Want That, fashion icon, seriously though look at her for one second and You're Gay, she planned all of this to work perfectly
  • canon holtzmann: certifiably Bad™ at feelings, has no idea. about anything that's happening. ever, fashion disaster, science is her safe place, literally lies down on the ground and hides from confrontation, trash girl, never paid for a thing in her life

A small askblog community-related comic I drew because I was fed up with the social climate surrounding askblogging/roleplay/fandom. 
I mean, seriously guys, I am disappointed.

Artists and writers are human beings and do not always share your idea of the world and their work will reflect that, both in good and bad ways. 

This does not mean we should accept everything without criticism. We are free to discuss those ideas of the world, draw inspiration from other people’s view and inspire one another. We are free to disagree, too. But first and foremost the discussion should be civil and with the shared goal of creating good art.
You think someone’s work is offensive? Ask them about it. They may just have issues with composition and framing. Or they may just don’t know better and no one ever teached them how to do research properly. Or they have a mental condition that makes it hard to communicate their thoughts. There’s tons of reasons for art not to communicate the point properly, and only ONE of those reasons is that the artist may actually be a bad person.
Always keep this in mind.

Also: The private message function exists. If you have a 3000 follower blog, you may consider using that instead of reblogging someone’s “cringy art” and criticize it in front of 3000 people. Trust me, it works wonders. And it reduces the death threats

Handle your drama responsibly, guys.

Lonely Hearts Club (One Shot)

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Jealous Bucky, tons of smut (NSFW)

Word Count: 3195

Summary: Y/N is set on not going to the Lonely Hearts party with Wanda and Nat. After a humiliating breakup in front of the team, she wants to get through this Valentine’s Day as quickly and painlessly as possible. That is until Bucky helps convince her that the party may not be a bad idea after all.

Author’s Notes: This is my first all out smut piece. So… um… yeah.  I seriously hate Valentine’s Day with a passion.

Originally posted by wintersoulja

Originally posted by perfectfeelings

“Oh come on Y/N! Please come out with us tonight!” Wanda begged from the couch. I rolled my eyes playfully as she launched one of Tony’s throw pillows in my direction.

“You know it’s going to actually be a lot of fun,” Nat chastised.

I grimaced at the thought. “But I hate Valentine’s Day – I would rather just stay here and binge watch Netflix with a bottle or two of wine,” I complained. It was true – I absolutely hated Valentine’s Day – especially after being dumped on New Year’s Eve in front of everyone. I really just wanted to wallow in my loneliness and get through the day as painlessly as possible. “What’s the party theme again?” I asked cautiously – I didn’t want to give them false hope that they would no doubt latch onto.

“It’s a lonely hearts party. It will be a lot of fun! You can wallow and party with all the single people,” Nat chuckled as Wanda bobbed her head excitedly.

“That sounds so stupid,” I groaned in exasperation. I knew it was all in vain. There was no way I could get myself out of going.

“What are you all talking about?” Bucky’s voice came from behind me causing me to jump and turn a deep shade of scarlet.

Nat snickered at my reaction as Wanda launched into her sale’s pitch of the party. She was hell-bent on talking everyone into it if she could. After listening patiently Bucky turned to look at me – his eyes narrowing slightly, “Are you going?” he asked carefully.

My heart did a backflip. Was he asking to mock me or because he wanted to go if I was going? I swallowed thickly before answering. “Um well… I guess,” I answered defeated as he smirked slightly.

“I guess Steve and I can tag along too. We don’t have anything else to do. You know Sam will be down if there are single chicks there,” he shrugged slightly before sauntering out of the room. My eyes remained glued to him unapologetically as I watched the way his muscles moved under the thin fabric of his shirt.

“EARTH TO Y/N,” Nat called from above me.

“Er what?” I asked embarrassed. I could feel the blush creeping up my neck and face again. They had totally just caught me.

“Are you done eye-fucking Bucky or should we give you a minute?” Nat chuckled as I gasped. She had my full attention now. “We’re leaving at 7 – make sure you’re ready on time!” she added. I shook my head nervously as I chewed on my bottom lip.


It was always impossible to not notice Bucky – mainly because of his sheer physical presence, but I had found myself especially distracted by him in the last few weeks. When Jonathan had dumped me at Tony’s New Year’s party Bucky had been the one to physically remove him, maybe a little too physically, out of the party. A week later I had a dreamed about Bucky – which had caused me to wake up saying his name, and covered in sweat. Since then I couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to feel his mouth against my lips and other places.

I tried my damnedest to not gawk, but found it increasingly difficult when he walked around in nothing but his low cut sweats, which happened to be a staple of his wardrobe. One day I unwillingly took a roundhouse kick to the head in the training room because I had grown distracted by the way his muscles tensed as he sparred with Steve. That had gotten his attention some how and he had gone out of his way to make me as uncomfortable as possible. Sitting closer to me on the couch, brushing his leg against mine under the dinner table; the torment seemed endless, but he never made a move. Each time he caught my eyes on him the corner of his mouth would twitch into a smirk.

The idea of him going to the party made me both excited and nervous as I readied myself. I changed at least twenty times before becoming frustrated and stomping down the hallway to Wanda’s apartment in search of something to wear. I always had a little anxiety when I went to her for fashion advice and tonight was no different as I walked out of her apartment wearing a very short black sequin dress with black pumps.

“You look amazing!” She assured me as we both walked down the hall towards the common room where we were going to meet the others. I shot her a side-eye without speaking, and she blushed. “You wore your good lingerie, right?” She whispered as we neared the room.

“Oh for Christ’s sake Wanda!” I exclaimed, a little too loud, as we neared the group effectively drawing attention to myself.

“Damn Y/N!” Sam exclaimed as the others looked up, but I was focused on one person’s reaction. Bucky’s eyes looked at me appreciatively for a moment as he bit his bottom lip slightly before turning to say something to Steve.

Well maybe I didn’t look as good as Sam thought after all.


We arrived at the party when it was already in full swing. Bucky had effectively ignored me the entire ride which had soured my mood. I had only come because he had seemed genuinely interested in if I was going. Upon entering the venue, I immediately grabbed Wanda’s hand and we made a beeline straight to the bar.

“The only way I’m getting through tonight is if I’m hammered,” I muttered to her miserably as the bartender slid us both two shot glasses of tequila.

“Oh come on Y/N! There are a lot of cute guys here – let’s just have fun tonight. No regrets!” she exclaimed before we threw back our shots and ordered more.

Fifteen minutes, and several shots of tequila later I had put Bucky to the back of my mind. Wanda was right – after a month of wallowing I deserved to have some fun. I scanned through the crowd in search of a cute guy to dance with before locking eyes with Bucky, who had a girl hanging all over him. I grimaced – I guess I had misread all the subtle remarks he had made towards me. Worse yet, maybe he had just been fucking with me as some sort of joke. Anger sparked in me as I took my eyes from him and continued to scan the room— finally finding a man across the dance floor who smiled warmly at me before making his way towards the bar.

“Care to dance?” he asked casually as he offered me his hand.

I smiled at him politely. “I would love to,” I answered as I placed my hand in his and turned my eyes slightly towards Bucky’s direction. He was watching me like a hawk and didn’t seem very pleased. Serves you damn well – I thought to myself as I followed the man to the dance floor.

As the man and I danced my worries began to melt away. I was actually having fun for the first time in a long time. I felt free as I enjoyed the company of my partner while our bodies swayed together with the music. As he spun me out from him I felt cool metal wrap around my wrist – I turned in surprise to come face to face with Bucky. “Care if I cut in?” he asked cockily as he pulled me into him. After taking in the sight of Bucky the man shrugged in defeat, not wishing to anger the super soldier.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I hissed between my teeth as I tried to push him away.

He chuckled at my feeble attempt and pulled me closer. “I’m dancing with you,” he responded – a hint of humor in his eyes.

“Well I don’t want to dance with you,” I spat as I pushed him away again. This time his arms fell from me as the trace of humor in his face vanished. I turned on my heel, determined to get far away from him, and fled towards the exit as I internally chastised myself for coming to the stupid party in the first place.


Once I was outside I leaned my back onto the brick building as I sighed heavily. I would have to try to get a cab which would be next to impossible on Valentine’s Day. I huffed as I pushed off the brick wall and walked to the edge of the sidewalk – luckily just in time for a cab to pull up to drop off more party goers. I gratefully slid into the vacant backseat and was about to give the driver the address before the back door opened and Bucky slid in beside me.

“Oh no you don’t. This is my cab!” I exclaimed in exasperation. “Find your own cab!”

“Doll – do you know how hard it is to find a cab in this city on Valentine’s Day?” he responded with a laugh.

“Get out now!” I demanded.

“Or what? You’ll walk all the way to Stark Tower?” he laughed as I scoffed. “How about this,” he added as he raised his hands in defense. “I’ll pay since you spent all your money on tequila.” I blushed at this. In my anger I had forgotten that I had absolutely no money with me.

“Fine,” I muttered as Bucky joyfully gave the address to the driver.

We rode in silence for part of the journey as I fumed beside Bucky. Now that I was alone with him I was finding it increasingly difficult to be angry at him. His proximity to me was enough to make my heart race.

He shifted beside me causing me to turn to face him. “I’m sorry, doll,” he muttered sheepishly. There was no humor in his eyes at this – he was genuinely apologizing. “I saw you with him and I…. well I got jealous,” he shrugged apologetically.

I could feel my face flush at this revelation as my heart threatened to actually jump out of my chest. “If… if you were jealous why didn’t you…” I began to ask but he cut me off.

“Look – I don’t know how to do this… I mean… I’ve um not been chaste since I’ve been with the Avengers… but I don’t know how to…” he broke off flustered. He was usually so well composed that his behavior was throwing me off.

“How to what, Buck?” I asked as my hand grazed over his.

“How to be with someone for more than a night,” he muttered embarrassed as he adverted his gaze from me.

“Well step one is to not be a giant ass,” I retorted which made him genuinely laugh as he turned to look at me again.

“Forgive me please?” he asked.

“I’m sure you can make it up to me,” I whispered as I grazed my fingers playfully over his. His breath hitched slightly at the contact. His eyes darkened with lust as his fingers grasped mine.

“How can I make it up to you?” he whispered – his hot breath tickling my skin as he nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck. It was enough to remind me of the growing feeling that was pooling between my legs. I knew exactly how he could make it up to me. Suddenly the cab just wasn’t moving fast enough for me.

I was flustered at his advances. He chuckled into my ear as he nibbled on the lobe – causing me to yip in surprise. He pulled away only slightly when the cab driver checked on us in his rearview mirror. As soon as the driver’s attention was back on the road Bucky resumed his assault on all my senses. His metal hand gently pushed my legs apart as his fingers travelled lazily up my inner thigh. They made their slow ascent tantalizing close to the underwear that I knew were already soaked through. I instinctively bucked my hips slightly – aching for some sort of contact with him. He chuckled lightly as he pushed me back into the seat. “Patience,” he whispered as his fingers played with my panty line. I didn’t want patience – all I wanted was for him to be inside of me – I wanted to know how it felt for him to fill me with himself.

“Bucky,” I whimpered so lowly that only he could hear.

“Shhh,” he cooed as he touched me through the lace of my underwear. “Mmm so wet for me.” I nodded my head enthusiastically as I bucked my hips in desperation again. Hoping for more. Bucky clicked his tongue at me as he pushed my hips sternly back into the seat. “Dancing with another man to make me jealous,” he chuckled as he began peppering my neck with kisses. “What am I going to do with you?” he whispered tantalizingly into my ear. It was less like a question and more like a promise. Suddenly his hand quickly pushed my underwear to the side as he slid a metal finger into me – eliciting a groan that I tried to cover with a cough. “Mmm,” he sighed as he pulled his finger out and gave me a wink before casually sticking it  into his mouth and licking it clean. “Just how I imagined,” he chuckled as the cab pulled to the curb next to Stark Tower. I would have lost it then and there if it hadn’t been for the cabbie speaking to Bucky as he handed him his change.

The walk into the building was a blur. I only had a singular desire – to get Bucky back to my room and fuck the life out of him. As the elevator doors closed it was my turn to take him by surprise. I crashed my body into his – pressing myself to him tightly as my lips found his in a clash of tongues, and teeth. He moaned lightly as he pressed his hips into me – allowing me to feel the full extent of his erection. I broke away from him when the ding of the elevator alerted us that we had made it to our floor. I hastily grabbed his hand and began dragging him to my room. He stopped me short at his door. “How about we go to my room?” he whispered to me.

“Sure,” I shrugged. I didn’t care where we were as long as we were horizontal soon.  When he opened the door I gasped – his bedroom was covered in lit candles and flowers. He pulled me in with a grin on his face – closing the door quickly behind me. “Is this for… me?” I asked amazed.

“I wasn’t expecting quite what happened tonight but I wanted to do something special for you. You deserve…” he was cut off by my lips crashing against his. He chuckled into our kiss as he guided me to the bed. I laid myself on it as he positioned himself over me and gently lowered himself so I could feel the weight of his body. The feeling of his erection pushing against my thigh made me moan as I ground my hips into his. “What do you want?” he whispered lightly as he broke away from our kiss.

“You,” I whispered as my hands slid under his shirt – feeling the grooves of his muscular frame.

“Your wish is my command, doll,” he chuckled as his hands lifted up my dress slowly. Once he had managed to completely remove it he pulled back with a smirk on his face.

“What?” I asked flustered and embarrassed.

“You’re just so fucking beautiful,” he whispered as his hands caressed every inch of my body. “You deserve to be worshiped,” he murmured as he peppered my breasts with kisses while his hands pulled away my underwear. I bucked my hips again at the contact of his cold metal fingers with my clit. “Do you like that?” he mumbled as he inserted a finger into me slowly pulling it in and out as his thumb rubbed in circular motions, causing my wetness to grow. My breath hitched as he quickened the pace of his finger – adding another for good measure. I could feel my walls tightening as my body built up for a spectacular orgasm. Bucky could sense it too. He quickly pulled his fingers from me and dipped his head between my legs bringing his mouth to me and licking up my wetness. I twisted my fingers into his hair as I bucked my hips one last time – driving his tongue deeper into me. That’s all it took. I spilled over onto his face as he hummed appreciatively.

He pulled away wiping his face on the back of his hand as he quickly removed his pants finally releasing what I had been wanting to see. I gasped at the sight of him as he turned to me with a smirk before resuming his place on top of me. “You’re sure?” he whispered as he looked at me.

“God yes. Bucky, fuck me,” I pleaded as I spread my legs to accommodate him. He lined himself up and thrust himself into me quickly. I groaned in pleasure – being full of him felt as good as I had imagined. I began to roll my hips as he glided in and out of me.

“God, you feel amazing,” he groaned as he unclasped my bra and played with my breasts. I shifted so he could enter deeper and he moaned with appreciation. “What do you want doll?” he asked – his eyes clouded with desire.

“I want you to have your way with me,” I responded with a smirk as I rolled my hips – eliciting another moan. That’s all he needed. Bucky began thrusting into me with an intensity that caused the tightness to coil in my muscles again.

“I want you to cum for me again,” he whispered into my ear as he pounded into me faster and deeper. I was so close I couldn’t waste time responding.

I tipped over the edge again as I called out his name. He moaned my name as my orgasm caused his own climax. He froze for a moment before pulling himself out and laying on his back. He gathered me into his arms and we laid in silence as our breathing slowed.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time,” he finally admitted with a grin.

“Me too,” I responded as I snuggled my head shyly into his neck.

“Well we probably should do it more often,” he chuckled.

“I agree, but maybe tonight we can snuggle and watch Netflix?” I asked tentatively. My body wasn’t ready for round two.

Bucky chuckled as his fingers drew patterns up and down my back. “Whatever you want, doll. As long as I get to spend time with you…. I’m okay with anything.”

“Careful what you say Sargent Barnes,” I giggled as I squeezed him tightly.

He chuckled at my warning. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Y/N,” he whispered into my hair as I drifted to sleep.


Tag List: 

@bless-my-demons @lillian-paige @pleasefixthepain@kittthekat @ailynalonso15 @themistsofmyavalon @coffeeismylife28 @harleyqueen7 @sebbys-girl  @totallygroovyllama @kendallefire @marvelouslyloki @seargantbcky @sapphire1727 @dont-let-me-go-again @amrita31199 @nikkitia7 @caffeineandlaserbeams

Luke and Owen

Part of Luke’s guilt over Owen and Beru was a nagging regret that he and his uncle had never really understood each other. He’d been so frustrated that Owen didn’t get why it wouldn’t be enough for Luke to find a nice local girl, settle down, and become a moisture farmer for the rest of his life.

Years later, after the confrontations with Vader, after seeing how close he got to the Dark Side, Luke understands. If he’d gone to the Academy with his friends, when he’d wanted to go, he would have been identified. If he hadn’t been killed, he would have been singled out, groomed to serve the Empire, to become the successor to his father. And his boyish yearning for adventure was such that he might have actually gone along with it, especially if his father had been involved.

Owen might not have known all those implications, but he knew that parading the secret son of Anakin Skywalker in front of the Imperial Navy was a seriously bad idea. And in his experience, bad things seemed to follow when the Jedi came to town, so the less Luke had to do with that too, the better.

Owen might not have kept Luke from his destiny. But he’d protected him until he was ready to fulfill it.

3

“I know girls like the bad boys, erm, girls, but did you seriously have to fall for a fucking assassin, Y/N?” Tony said.

Natasha smirked. “C’mon, Tony,” she said. “You know you love me.”

Tony rolled his eyes dramatically. “Yeah, yeah,” he mumbled. “But I don’t love you dating my daughter. I don’t like the idea of you two… fondling each other.”

“We’ve been dating for a year, dad. We’ve been ‘fondling-’”

“Nope!” Tony said, walking away. “Don’t want any details.”

“She could’ve done a lot worse, Stark,” Natasha replied.

“I know,” Tony replied. “You’re… a good person, Natasha. But I still don’t like my baby girl dating everyone.”

“Aww,” you responded, placing a kiss on your dad’s cheek, then walked over and placed a kiss on your girlfriend’s.

LIAR LIAR: PART 1

A LIE

SUMMARY: -request-You told your sister that you have a boyfriend so she’d stop trying to set you up with people but now she’s coming to visit and you’re in too deep and need a fake boyfriend ASAP. (THANK YOU TO @super-slick-fanfic-chick for letting me use this idea for my series! Love you!)

PAIRING: Barry X Reader 

WARNINGS: none really

A/N: I am so happy to announce that I am finally done with finals and have returned to the land of fan fiction and tumblr. This was a lot of fun to write, even though finals kept me busy and writers block tried to stop me. Let me know what you guys think and whether you want part 2 or not! ALSO! thank you @winchester-with-wings   for editing this! You rock!

        You are seriously starting to consider murder. Life imprisonment doesn’t seem so bad if that means a break from your sister’s constant nagging on your perpetual single life. But if you’re being honest with yourself, she’d probably haunt your ass, asking why you still haven’t found a man. You know she means well, just wanting you to find the same happiness she’s found with her wife, Jane.

           However, with terrible blind dates one after the other, set up by your well-meaning sister, you couldn’t handle any more. That’s why when Thanksgiving came swinging around this year, you tried everything to get out of it. Even going as far as to say you were in the hospital, but your mom saw through every lie. She’s known you long enough to spot it over the phone, (it’s a little discontenting at times). So here you are, miles away from your home in Central City where you could be wrapped in a blanket or dining in with Barry, who had invited you to Thanksgiving with him, Iris, and Joe. Instead, you sit at your family dinner table, with your sister, Megan, across from you in the middle of one of her infamous rants. Like this one, they usually focused on your “fast approaching doom” of becoming a spinster.

“Y/n, I’m just saying that there comes a time in your life where you have to ask yourself, is it me?” Megan chides as she passes the mashed potatoes to your dad. Unintentionally your jaw clenches, it has developed into a habit around Megan.

“Right, dad?” She asks him, like a child waiting for approval. He seems like a deer in headlights and makes the wise decision of standing from the table and claiming to have forgotten the gravy. Even though it was sitting in front Aunt May.

           It doesn’t take Megan a second for her to spin her head back to you, her face a bit softer.

“You know what? There was this guy, Sam something, I met at a charity event last time I was visiting you in Central City. I think you both would hit it off—“

“Meg, honey, not now.” Jane, your sister-in-law, pleads, and you mouth out a ‘thank you’ to her. You’ve spoken too soon; however, as Megan pulls out her phone waving Jane off.

“Just a second, I’m sure I have his number in here somewhere.”

           Your heart beat quickens while anxiety follows. You are not going on another crappy blind date.

“Meg, stop it. I’m serious!” You beg, but she’s glued to her phone. Heat bubbles up inside of you, and anger fills your head, turning your ears red. “Megan,” Damn, what are you going to have to do to convince her to give it up? This is getting ridiculous.

“Found it!” She exclaims, and you forget to think. (God, you’re an idiot sometimes).

“I have a boyfriend!”

           At that, your sister is snapped back to reality, and it takes you a minute to let the words sink in. Shit, what did you just do? Your mind flies through possible ways out, take it back, lie, act like nothing happened…but it all brought you back to the simple point: if your sister thinks you’re taken, no more blind dates, no more speeches of being doomed to live alone. Of course you don’t really have a boyfriend, but how hard can faking it be?

                                       **6 MONTHS LATER**

 

           Pretending to have a boyfriend has turned out to really not be that hard. With your sister almost never visiting, all you really had to do was answer questions about your “boyfriend” whenever she called. And man, was it bliss, to not be worried about what blind date was next.

           Barry’s feet rest on top of your coffee table, and you stretch your legs on top of his. He smirks, and pulls his eyes away from the movie.

“Comfortable?” He asks, laughter hinted in his voice.

“Very.” You give him a cheeky grin, cuddling up next to your best friend. Chuckling, he wraps his arm around you.

           Tonight was one of your weekly movie marathons with Barry. When no metahumans would be tearing the town apart and Barry, aka the Flash, didn’t have to stop them, the two of you would choose movies you’ve never seen, or movies you wanted to see again or TV shows and marathon them together. Eating more popcorn and milk duds than humanly possible, and joking around. Sometimes muting the television and making up your own commentary for the characters.

“Hey, we’re out of popcorn,” You point out and look up at Barry expectantly, causing him to roll his eyes with a smirk. He doesn’t need to respond and he moves away his arm, standing up and moving towards the kitchen, taking the empty bowl with him.

“Thank you!” You call to him, stretching out the ‘ooo’ sound as you say it.

           Suddenly, the noise of someone knocking against your door enters into the apartment. Groaning, you toss the blanket you had to the side and make your way towards your front door.

“Barry,” you yell out, pulling open the door as you speak, “did you order pizza again? You know there is such a thing as too much pizza…” Your voice regresses suddenly when you’re met with the person standing at the door. Instead of a pasty, teen in delivery uniform and holding a pizza box, your sister, Megan, is there.

“Surprise!”

           She reigns you into a hug, taking you in by the neck causing you to laugh.

“What are you doing here?” You inquire, pulling away to get a good look at her. You haven’t seen her since Christmas.

“What? A loving sister can’t visit?” One look from you has her giggling away her previous serious expression and walks inside, dropping her coat into your arms. “Okay, your right. My business is hosting another Charity event here! It did so well, last year and I thought, ‘hey if I’m in town, why not stay a couple days with my younger sis?’”

“So, you’re staying here? At my place?” Oh no.

“Well yeah, unless, of course, if you want me to go…”

“No, no, of course not, it’s just—“

“Y/n, I get it, you don’t want me to intrude on you and the boyfriend, but I swear I’ll be the best guest ever. You and him are even invited to the Charity Gala!” You don’t know how to respond, but she doesn’t notice, her eyes busy looking around the room. “Where is the guy anyway? I want to meet the man who stole my sister’s heart.”

           Right about now you wanted to hit yourself in the head with a frying pan. How could you forget, about telling her you and your make believe “BF” were living together? Another one of your brilliant lies, at the time you thought it made your story more believable, but now you were wishing you kept your mouth shut.

“Megan, I have to tell you something,” you begin, the truth has to come out. You can’t invent a boyfriend out of thin air.

“Oh, don’t tell me that you and him broke up? I mean seriously, Y/n, can you not keep a man?”

           At that, you shut your mouth tight. It was all flooding back again, like nothing had changed. It’s in this moment, that Barry, bless his soul, decides to come out from the kitchen, a newly filled bowl of popcorn in his hand.

“Double buttered just how you like it,” His voice trails off when he sees that you’re not alone, his eyebrows crinkling together for a moment.

“Oh, you must be him! I am so happy to finally meet you!” Megan’s face lights up when she sees Barry, quickly walking over to him and enveloping him into a similar hug she gave you earlier.

“Uh, Barry meet my sister, Megan. Megan, this is Barry.” You introduce, awkwardly shoving your hands into your pockets. Your best friend’s face lights up in recognition and immediately returns a smile towards your sister.

“It’s really nice to meet you, too. Y/n, has told me a lot about you,” he tells her and she looks him up and down with a grin plastered to her face.

“Y/n, you didn’t tell me your boyfriend was hot.” She exclaims,

“What?” Barry questions, his face in complete shock and bewilderment. Megan, luckily, didn’t catch on.

“Hey, I may be gay, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know a hot guy when I see one, and my sister has definitely snatched up a good one.” She replies in confidence, and you want to hide your face in your hands.

“You know what, Barry, can you come with me?” You say finally, trying to control this before things gets out of hand, “I, uh, need some help setting up the guest bedroom.”

“Uh, yeah, okay.” He agrees, reluctant, placing the popcorn on a table nearby.

“Meg, just make yourself at home, we’ll be right back!” You tell her before pulling you and Barry into the spare bedroom.

           You turn around, after closing the door behind the two of you, and are met by Barry’s stern green eyes and his eyebrows raised expectantly.

“Okay,” you begin, reaching out to him, “I can explain.”


“Run that by me again?”

           Barry sits on the edge of the bed, and he runs his fingers through his hair, before turning to look back at you, across from him.

“Barry, you know I wouldn’t be asking you if I had another choice,” you don’t bother to repeat the plan again, you’ve already done it twice.

“Okay, let me get this straight. You told your sister you were dating someone so she would stop setting you up on blind dates, but now she’s here and you need me to pretend to be your boyfriend?”

           You move closer to him,

“She’s only in town for a couple days. Barry please, I’m desperate.”

           He bites the inside of his cheek, like he does when he’s thinking something over. Your heart beats anxiously for his answer.

“How sure are you that it’s going to work?”

“Like 20%.”

“And the other 80?”

“The other 80% means my sister finding out I’ve been lying to her for months and she never talks to me again.”

“Those odds suck.”

“I know, but I need you, Bare.”

           Barry smiles and scratches a spot behind his ear, before giving a reluctant sigh.

“Why not? It should be fun.” He breaks into a large grin, and you tackle him, covering him in a bear hug.

“Seriously? Thank you so much!” Barry laughs into you, his back lying on the bed from when he fell against your sudden burst. You fall to the side, rolling off of him. The two of you stay like that, for a second, giggles being shared between the two of you. Him on his back, with his head turned to see you and you on your side, a hand propping up your head. Barry’s the first to speak,

“How hard can it be, right?”

Like seriously tho you have no idea how much Dean’s redemption moment means to me, he was never really a bad person, he was just young and had anger issues and made mistakes like anyone, but Jared left the show to do Supernatural so Dean left in this haze of rage that was just so wrong for the larger tone of his character and he was Rory’s first love and omg it just means so fucking much to me

anonymous asked:

A show or even a movie with Katie And Nat as the leads and love interest? In which they're anti-heroes or morally grey characters with lots of action scenes? The only bad thing about that is that every sinle wlw would die on the spot, but at least we would die happy. No, seriously I'd love to propose this idea to Katie and Nat just because I know these two cryptids would be all for that! I bet they've even think about it before! Why I am not rich and a producer? Why am I not Daniel Taylor?

I am pretty sure the world would explode. They’re gorgeous. They’re best friends. It took less than 90 seconds in the ALS video to prove their chemistry would be adorable and hot. Onscreen they both look at their female co-stars like they’re ready to eat them for every meal…. Someone out there needs to make this happen.

They could seriously be sitting there eating bowls of cereal of 2 hours and I would call it the greatest cinematic masterpiece of all time.

Me at elementary school book fair: This book has a cool dragon on the cover let’s see how it is.

Reads story where the protagonist half flays his inner legs riding a dragon saddle-less, his uncle dies slowly and painfully by poison, and he goes nearly mad with grief and pain in the first quarter. The very first town he finds on his adventure was turned into a mountain of corpses with a spear impaled baby at the top. Liberally describes the results of horrifying torture. Has characters advocate killing enemies in cold blood. Has many cases of people dying via weapons, magic, and dragon mauling. Has back stories of child abuse.

Also me: Good book let’s do that 6 more times.

malec fics i’ll never write but want to read....
  • 5 times they spend the night on the couch, 1 time they go out (and decide to never leave the couch again)
  • where magnus needs alec to rescue him constantly because people finally figure out that all they have to do is bind magnus’ hands the right way for his powers not to work. magnus is annoyed at being bound and kidnapped again. and alec would take this all a bit more seriously if the people attempting to take magnus were in any way competent. (or where magnus really does have a weakness but no one with intelligence wants to take the risk of pissing off the high warlock of brooklyn and his shadowhunter boyfriend)
  • magnus has a stack of ancient texts to read. alec needs to catch up on paperwork. sharing an office may be the best bad idea they’ve ever had
  • magnus and alec go on a double date with simon and raphael. simon books them in two escape rooms - competing against each other. only one couple will be the victor
  • alec is on a beach vacation with his family. desperate to be alone for even a few hours, alec rents a paddleboard and is caught up in a storm. the driving winds take him in the opposite direction of his rental house and directly to magnus’ door
  • clary creates a rune that makes alec fall asleep - for 16 years
  • jace wants to go skydiving. alec can’t let his parabatai go without him. magnus can’t let alec go without him. izzy won’t let any of them go without getting this all on video
  • there’s a blackout in NYC. alec remembers his neighbor across the hall always seems to be bringing home cartons of candles. alec has food he can trade for light. knocking on his gorgeous neighbor’s door to make a formal offer is only logical. a matter of survival, really. alec undoing a few of the buttons on his shirt as he crosses the hall? that’s only because the blackout has also come on the hottest day of the year
  • izzy sees what’s happening between magnus and alec and starts to write it all down (malec through izzy’s eyes)
  • magnus bane is a famous magician in las vegas. alec lightwood is a respected antique weapons dealer. alec has a sword. magnus needs a sword. it starts as a negotiation and ends up as one big magical innuendo
  • alec challenges magnus not to use magic. magnus challenges alec not to frown. one week. penalties are wracked up. sides are taken. hilarity ensues
  • trivial pursuit. monopoly. sorry. game night becomes a thing in the lightwood-bane household
  • shadowhunters magnus and alec decide they need to get away. au magnus and alec decide to take a vacation. both couples end up sunning themselves in the same dimension. when malec meets malec all bets are off
  • magnus always shows up flawlessly put together, but lately he’s been leaving the institute with his hair a bit askew. alec’s hair is a mess from the moment he wakes up, collecting tree branches and various detritus when he goes out on missions, but now he’s also coming home sprinkled in glitter? (ie, where magnus and alec’s relationship is revealed because of messy hair)
  • title - the magnus phase
  • never engage a warlock in a pillow fight (even if you are a highly trained demon hunter)
  • magnus always knew he’d have to take over the family business someday. on his first night as death™ he’s sent to take the life of one alexander lightwood–and alec doesn’t take kindly to magnus’ arrival. but magnus will have literal hell to pay if he doesn’t bring alec’s soul back with him. “darling,” magnus said to the stunning man holding an enchanted knife to his neck. “please behave. I’m just trying to make a living.” (or the one where magnus and alec rewrite the paradigm of life and death)