seriously love the scene where he first sees her at the party

Young

Note: HI HI! YAY I ACTUALLY GOT TO WRITE A REQUEST! (take that, writers block!) phew, this one was…wow. I hope you like it! FEEDBACK IS WELCOME!!!! ♥♥♥ .c

Request: Age gap kink! Where reader is significantly younger than Bucky(still legal obviously) daddy kink, reader gets off on him being older maybe calling reader little girl, if you decide a fem reader, jokingly Idk idk, I love your writing thank you for blessing my eyes with it

Originally posted by seredelgi


Being the youngest Avenger was fun for the most part. You were like the team baby, though you weren’t that young. Everyone just treated you like a little kid, but you didn’t mind. You just hated when they would tease you all the time.

Out of everyone, Bucky was definitely your favorite on the team if you had to choose. You warmed up to him rather quickly and you fell for him overtime. You knew he was much older than you, even if you didn’t really count the years he was frozen and an active assassin for HYDRA. There was no chance you’d ever land someone his age, but that didn’t stop you from daydreaming about him.


Natasha smiled as she walked into the room, her white teeth on display. You were brought out of your thoughts by her voice, the tv show you had playing was now background noise. “Y/N! Do you want to go out for drinks with us?” She asked excitedly, Tony joining her just after she asked.

Before you could answer, Tony shook his head. “No. Definitely not.” He said, making you frown. “But, I-” You started only to be silenced as he held up his hand. “Not old enough.” Tony said firmly, his signature “dad” look on his face. Nat rolled her eyes at the man and crossed her arms.

“That’s not fair! I could at least just go for the music!” You exclaimed, trying to reason with Tony. “Go where for what music?” Steve asked as he walked in the room with Bucky by his side.

“Drinks.” Tony answered with a sigh. “I don’t see the issue with her just going to chill out, Tony.” Nat said as she tried to persuade Tony into letting you go.

“Well, it isn’t really a scene for the young ones, Y/N.” Steve said, siding with Tony. You gasped and creased your eyebrows together. “Seriously!? I’m not that young!“ You shouted, getting rather angry with everyone. “I can kill people, but I can’t go to a club?” You snapped, looking at Tony.

Bucky was silent, not wanting to get on your bad side. “You aren’t going. I’ll have someone stay here with you.” Tony said as he checked his watch. You let out a high pitched squeal. “Now I have to have a baby sitter!?” You gaped at Tony, standing from your spot on the couch. Tony sighed. “Yes.” He simply said before leaving the room.

You groaned and fell back onto the couch, stuffing a pillow over your face. “I tried, Y/N.” Nat said sadly as she walked out. Steve joined her and you thought Bucky had too, until he cleared his throat. “I can stay if you want.” He said, sitting down beside you. You moved the pillow and set it down, looking over at Bucky. “You don’t have to.” You sighed.

He smiled and nudged your shoulder. “I want to. I’m not really into the whole nightclub scene.” Bucky explained, his arms crossing over his chest. Your eyes trailed along his muscles and you bit your lip. Maybe staying in wouldn’t be so bad after all. “Uh, yeah sure. That’d be cool.” You said softly, your mind racing with the thought of being alone with Bucky.


The team had finally left to go party and you were ready to start the movie you picked out for the night. You had quickly threw on a tank top with some yoga shorts, wanting to get more comfortable, while Bucky was in the kitchen getting ready to pop some popcorn.

“Are you almost done?” You asked with a smile. Bucky turned to face you and his eyes landed on your exposed legs. “Y-yeah! Um, do you want butter?” Bucky cleared his throat, averting his eyes away from your body. You smirked and walked over to him. “Do you want it?” You asked softly, crossing your arms.

Bucky raised his eyebrows, his eyes falling to your breasts. “W-what?” He asked, his wide eyes meeting yours. “Butter?” You giggled, tilting your head gently. Bucky gasped, “Oh! I don’t mind.” He said with a chuckle. You blushed a little, moving to get some out of the refrigerator.

After popping the popcorn, drizzling melted butter on it, and settling down on the couch, you started the movie. A few moments in, you reached for the bowl and your hand bumped into Bucky’s. You looked over and he smiled, letting you go first.

A giggle fell from your lips when you watched him get a handful, shoving it in his mouth. “You’re gonna choke.” You said with a smile, watching Bucky shake his head. 

“Nah.” He muffled through his food, only causing another loud giggle to sound through you. Bucky jokingly shushed you and you turned your attention back to the movie. You were stuffing your face with popcorn like Bucky had been doing, only because the scene before you was so thrilling. 

“No, don’t go in there!” You yelled out, sitting up in your seat. Bucky was watching you, but you didn’t notice. He chuckled softly as you gasped. “Don’t! No! He’s-WHY DID YOU GO IN THERE!” You shouted, throwing your hands up in the air.

The male screams coming from the movie only frustrated you more. “Idiot.” You pouted, stuffing more popcorn in your mouth. Bucky laughed harder and you turned to look at him. “Stop laughing, that was so bad.” You sighed with a frown. Bucky shook his head and moved the popcorn bowl from in between the two of you.

He scooted closer to you and smiled at you. Your heart started racing and you gulped nervously. “I’m not laughing at that, I’m laughing at the butter on your face.” Bucky chuckled. 

You gasped and your face turned red. “Oh, sorry.” You whispered, moving your hand to wipe it away. Before you could, Bucky’s right hand moved up to wipe it off with his thumb. Your breath hitched in your throat and he was about to pull his hand away, but you softly gripped his wrist. He stopped moving and watched you closely.

Keeping his hand in place, you leaned forward slowly, keeping your eyes on Bucky’s while his remained focused on your mouth. Your lips rubbed against his thumb and you opened your mouth, taking it in and sucking off the butter.

A gasp fell from Bucky’s lips as he watched you suck his thumb clean. A smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you pulled away with a pop. Bucky gulped and his eyes met yours. 

Winking at him, you turned back to the movie. Bucky cleared his throat and you knew that you had reeled him in. Sure, he’s way older than you, but it’s not like he stopped you while you sucked on his finger.

The movie continued and Bucky kept shifting in his seat, causing you to become distracted. “Are you okay?” You asked, looking over at him. Bucky nervously looked at you and nodded. “I-I’m fine. Excuse me.” He muttered before bolting off the couch and out of the room. You frowned, staring at his empty spot on the couch.

You paused the movie so he wouldn’t miss anything, but as the minutes ticked by, you were worried you had upset Bucky. You left the room and went to find him, hoping your thoughts were incorrect. Deciding you should check his room first, you took the elevator up and continued your search.

Bucky’s door was cracked open and you gently knocked on it before stepping inside. You could see Bucky sitting on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. “Bucky?” You asked softly, walking inside of his room. His head shot up and his cheeks turned red. “H-hey.” He choked out, resting his hands on his thighs.

You walked closer and stood in front of him, tucking your hair behind your ear. “I’m sorry if I did something wrong.” You said softly, watching him closely. He sighed and shook his head, scratching the back of his neck. “No, no. You didn’t, I just-you’re-” Bucky stumbled over his words. You nodded as you caught the hint.

“You think I’m too young.” You said with a sad scoff. You sighed and bit your lip. Bucky looked up at you and groaned. “Stop biting your lip, Y/N. Y-You drive me crazy when you do that.” Bucky said lowly, his eyes lifting to meet yours. Slowly releasing your lip, you creased your eyebrows. “I’ll just go.” You breathed before turning to leave Bucky’s room.

You felt his hand grasp onto your wrist, stopping you. “Don’t.” Bucky said, his voice laced with authority and dominance. It sent a shiver down your spine and you turned to face Bucky with wide eyes. He was breathing heavily and he swallowed thickly. “Dammit, I’m sorry. Y/N, you’re just-fuck it.” Bucky said before pulling you closer  to him.

You stumbled over your feet and Bucky pulled you onto his lap, your legs either side of his waist. He looked down at you and let his hands run over your thighs, squeezing you. 

Your heart was racing and you could feel the heat rising up your neck, reaching your cheeks. Bucky looked at you and you held onto his biceps, the muscles flexing as he moved his hands against your skin.

Bucky leaned in slowly, gauging your reaction for what was about to happen. When you didn’t pull away, he kept moving until he closed the space between your lips. 

You let out a soft moan into the kiss and your eyes fluttered shut as your hands moved to rest around Bucky’s neck. Letting your fingers rake through his hair, he groaned against your mouth as you tugged on his long locks. Your tongues danced together, his winning the dominance.

Pulling away for air, you leaned your forehead against Bucky’s. He chuckled deeply and you hummed. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” You whispered, pulling away to look into his eyes. Bucky licked his lips and nodded. “I was afraid you thought I was too old for you.” Bucky admitted, his hands moving under your tank top.

You let out a giggle, the sound making Bucky’s heart flutter. “I was afraid you thought I was too young.” You said softly, watching Bucky’s eyes land on the exposed skin of your stomach. The contrast between his hands made you shiver. “No way, I love it.” Bucky said, leaning in to press his lips to your neck.

You moaned softly and tilted your head to give him more access. His teeth nipped at your sweet spot and you let out a whimper. “Oh, Daddy.” You breathed out, your eyes widening at what you just said. Bucky stopped his movements, his lips ghosting over your skin, his warm breath causing goosebumps to cover your body.

Bucky pulled away from your neck and met your eyes. “What did you just call me?” Bucky asked, his chest rising up and down heavily. You gulped and blushed hard, biting your lip. “Daddy.” You whispered, hoping you didn’t offend him. Bucky growled and stood up, throwing you onto his bed.

You smiled as you bounced, only for the smile to fade as Bucky hovered above you. He gripped your wrists and held them above your head. You gasped as he ground his hips into yours. “Are you gonna be a good little girl for me, Y/N?” Bucky asked, his metal hand grasping both of your wrists as his flesh hand moved underneath your tank top.

He squeezed your breast and you whined, moving your hips against his, doing anything to soothe the ache in between your legs. “Yes, Bucky.” You breathed softly. Bucky pulled his hand away and shook his head. “No, you know what to call me.” Bucky said, kissing your collarbones. You licked your lips, loving how plump and wet his felt against your skin.

“Yes, Daddy.” You corrected yourself, hearing an appreciative groan from Bucky. “Good little girl.” He whispered, both of his hands moving to lift your tank top off of you. The cool air in the room made your nipples harden immediately and Bucky hummed before grasping your breasts in his hands. “You’re so beautiful.” Bucky whispered, leaning down to twirl his tongue around one of your nipples.

Your hand flew to his hair, tangling your fingers in it. “Daddy, please.” You whimpered, tugging on his hair. Bucky smirked and moved to your other breast, giving it the same attention. Your panties became wetter the more Bucky used his tongue on you, and you wanted so desperately to feel it on your pussy.

Bucky kissed his way down your torso, his fingers pulling down your shorts as he got closer to your core. He threw your shorts behind him and pressed his lips against your hip, his fingers softly rubbing down your clothed pussy. Your hips jerked at the contact and Bucky chuckled. “You’re so sensitive, baby.” Bucky said with a smile, his eyes meeting yours.

You blushed and bit your lip as you sat up on your elbows. Bucky kissed along your thighs as he pulled your panties down and off of you. He kissed his way back up and his eyebrows creased as he moaned at the sight of you. “This is the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen. Oh, Doll.” Bucky said as his fingers dug into your thighs.

He spread your legs further apart and your heart started to race again. Bucky leaned in and stuck his tongue out, licking along your pussy lips. You gasped and watched him closely. Applying more pressure, he teased your clit with the tip of his tongue. “Daddyyy.” You whined, lifting your hips up.

Bucky held your hips down with his metal arm and you huffed. “Be a good little girl.” Bucky scolded you, his eyes meeting yours. You nodded and watched as he leaned back down, licking from your entrance to your clit, circling his tongue around it. “Oh, fuck!” You squealed, falling down onto your back.

Your thighs threatened to close shut around Bucky’s head, only to be stopped by him. He sucked your clit into his mouth, the obscene noises only driving you crazier. Bucky’s tongue was so thick and long, and you could feel his smirk against you as he toyed with your pussy while you turned into a moaning mess beneath him.

You gasped as you felt one of Bucky’s fingers gently slide into you, curling against your g-spot. Your hands found their way into his hair once again, tugging as hard as you could. 

He growled, sending the vibrations right through you. Bucky pulled away and kissed your inner thigh, inserting another finger. “Cum, little girl. Cum for Daddy.” Bucky growled, pumping his fingers in and out of you faster, the wet noises filling the room.

Bucky leaned back down to capture your clit in his mouth and you felt your pussy clench around his long fingers. “Daddy, I’m gonna cum!” You screamed, arching your back and grinding your hips against Bucky’s face. His other hand reached up to grasp your breast and your legs shut around Bucky’s head as you started to cum.

You could hear and feel him moaning against you, his fingers and mouth not faltering in their movements. He rode out your orgasm and you tried to move away, but Bucky held you down even harder than before. 

Your breathing was heavy as you watched him continue making out with your pussy. His hair framed his face and his cheekbones were much more prominent as he sucked all around your pussy, his tongue delving in your lips. The sight of him looking up at you was all too much and you felt another orgasm fast approaching.

As you came down, Bucky stripped himself of his clothes. You smiled as he hovered above you and he pressed his lips to yours again. You looked in between your bodies and saw Bucky’s cock leaking pre-cum, the tip a bright red from him being so hard. It was thick and a tad longer than you would’ve imagined.

Bucky could sense your nervousness and he rubbed your cheek with the pad of his thumb. You looked up at him and blushed. “We don’t have to.” Bucky said softly. You quickly shook your head. “Please, I want to…Daddy.” You whispered the last part and that was it for Bucky. He grabbed your legs and wrapped them around his waist, gently sliding into you.

You whimpered at the feeling of being stretched so much and Bucky was clearly trying his best to hold back until you adjusted to his size. Your legs tightened around Bucky’s waist and he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. “Fuck, you’re so tight. Aren’t you, little girl?” Bucky cooed, resting his forehead against yours.

A moan fell from your lips as Bucky finally slid all the way in. Bucky’s head fell into the crook of your neck and you urged him to start moving. He pulled his hips back slowly and you bit your lip, the feeling of him sliding in and out of you clouding your mind. “You can go faster.” You breathed, digging your nails into Bucky’s back.

He groaned and started to pick up speed, reaching even deeper as he slid back inside of you. “Such a good little girl.” Bucky choked out, his lips pressing kisses all along your chest. You cried out, feeling his tip brush against your g-spot. “Oh, Daddy! Right there!” You gasped, wanting him to hit it again.

Bucky growled, looking down at you. You watched his face as he slid out and slammed back inside of you, your breath catching in your throat as you watched his face contort with pleasure. 

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as he started to pound into you, harder and faster than before. “There?” Bucky asked with a smirk, his hips slamming into yours relentlessly.

You opened your eyes to look at Bucky again and let your eyes fall to his hips. You could see his thick cock glistening with wetness as he entered you and pulled out. 

Bucky moved away from you and sat on his knees, pulling your hips closer to him. His flesh hand rested on your lower belly as he thrust back in. “There I am, fucking shit.” Bucky groaned, his cock reaching so deep.

Bucky hovered above you again and pressed his lips to yours, his tongue licking your bottom lip. You moaned and let his tongue play with yours. You felt the familiar tingle of an orgasm approaching soon after. “Daddy, I’m close!” You squealed as Bucky kept fucking you, the headboard slamming against the wall. “Does Daddy’s little girl want to cum?“ Bucky rasped, his hands gripping the pillow beside your head.

You moaned even louder, tugging on Bucky’s hair tightly. “Oh, yes please!” You screamed, your pussy clenching around his cock again. “Look at me when you cum, Y/N.” Bucky moaned, his metal hand wrapping around your throat. He added a little pressure and that’s all it took for you to come undone beneath him.

Moans and squeals fell from your lips as your eyes struggled to focus on Bucky’s. “Oh, Daddy yes!” You moaned, gripping onto his arm. You could feel hot spurts of his cum shooting inside of you, coating your fucked walls. “Fuuuck!” Bucky growled, his thrusts deep and hard as he rode out his orgasm.

Your legs trembled around his waist and your pussy was so full, you could feel your mixed cum running down onto the bed beneath you. Bucky pulled out of you slowly and collapsed beside you, a chuckle leaving his lips. “Such a good little girl.” Bucky mumbled as he wrapped his arm over your waist.

You blushed again and turned to look at Bucky with a smile. “Yeah?” You asked shyly, biting your lip. Bucky nodded and kissed your cheek. “Mm, so good. Let me clean you up, okay?” Bucky said before leaving the bed and disappearing into his bathroom.

After Bucky cleaned you both up and changed his sheets, he gave you his shirt to put on while slipping on a clean pair of boxers. You yawned and got underneath his blankets, watching Bucky join you shortly after. He pulled you into his warm chest and you pressed a kiss to his neck. 

“Bucky?” You whispered after a few moments of silence. He looked down at you, his thumb tracing circles on your waist. “Yes, Y/N?” He asked, kissing your forehead. 

“So, I’m not too young for you?” You asked, nervously looking up at him. Bucky smiled and pulled you closer, draping your leg over his waist. “Definitely not. It’s a turn on for me, but I do like you a lot, Y/N.” Bucky said softly, his eyes on yours.

You smiled widely and leaned in to kiss him, your hand moving to rest in his hair. You could feel his cock twitch against your thigh and you giggled. “No way. Not yet.” You said, watching Bucky blush. “I know, I’m sorry.” He chuckled, pulling you in for another kiss.

Note: I seriously hope this doesn’t disappoint :( .c

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Mila and Yuri’s friendship appreciation post

Ok the fandom has all agreed that Mila is Yuri’s big sister, but can we just take a moment to appreciate just how DEEP the bond is? 

Ok. So first of all, we have Mila initiating physical contact with one of the coldest characters in YOI. She is extremely familiar with Yuri and from her relaxed air, we can assume that this definitely isn’t her first time hugging Yuri. It’s also interesting to note that Yuri only tells her to let go when Mila starts to tease Yuri. Yuri didn’t initially object to Mila’s hug!  

Here we have Yuri being a brat. But a very well-informed brat. Mila’s, cough, sexual frustrations would’ve been the result of a very recent breakup. The fact that Yuri knew about this shows us that he is up-to-date about what is happening in Mila’s life. Mila probably overshares the intimate details about her relationships to Yuri. 

ok this post is getting long, so please click below to continue frEAKING THE FUCK OUT WITH ME

Keep reading

Krazy Kol

Pairing: Kol x Damon x Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1147


You’re beyond pissed at Klaus for daggering your boyfriend, Kol, then running off, leaving you on your own for years and years. Klaus is a smart man, because after all these years of searching, you never found him. It was to the point where you almost gave up.

It was Kol that found you. After getting undaggered, Kol dealed with Klaus, making somewhat amends with him, then made it his mission to find you. The mission wasn’t that hard for him because he compelled a ton of detectives to aid in finding you, which luckily, didn’t take long. The rest of the Mikaelsons welcomed you with open arms, letting you move into their mansion that Klaus had built here in the small town of Mystic Falls.

Tonight’s the night of the Mikaelson Ball. Last week you had to drag your boyfriend, Kol with you to find a dress because Rebekah’s been busy lately tending to her own needs, which you completely understood. 

You were with Kol for the first few minutes of the night, then the two of you separated to greet and mingle with the guests. 

You even chatted with Elijah for a bit, then he ended up ditching you to speak with Niklaus. Your boyfriend was nowhere to be found, so you just decided to mind your own business, admiring the light fixture, with your half empty champagne glass in hand. 

A man that you haven’t met yet stops to chat with you. He had black hair, blue eyes and a sharp jaw line. He was good looking and all, but you love Kol. “You look too pretty to be standing here alone.” He smirked. His presence startled you a little.

“Oh really?” You questioned, tilting your head in curiousness.

“And did you, I don’t know, come here alone?” Being very obvious about it, he gave you an elevator look.

You laughed at his attempt to flirt with you. “I live here actually.”

“Oh, so you’re a Mikaelson.” He did quotation marks with his fingers when he mentioned ‘Mikaelson.’

You rolled your eyes at his remark. “No. I’m with a Mikaelson.” You teased, copying his quotation mark fingers.

“Even better.” The dark haired man said sarcastically. You can easily see through him and right off the bat, you can tell he’s one of those sarcastic assholes. This is going to be a fun conversation.

“I didn’t get your name?” You asked.

“Damon Salvatore.”

“Oh, so you’re one of the Salvatore brothers. I’ve heard loads about you. I’m Y/N.” You put your hand out to shake Damon’s, which he was happy to do.


(Meanwhile…)

While this conversation was going on with Damon, you had no idea that Kol appeared nearby with Rebekah, watching the two of you. Only you and his fellow siblings know that Kol can be the crazy jealous type. He’ll go as far as breaking a man’s neck for touching you.

“Who on earth is this bloke breathing the same air as my darling?” Kol asked.

“That’s Damon Salvatore. You don’t remember?” Rebekah was a little surprised that he doesn’t remember seeing Damon before. It was the day that Kol, Finn and Rebekah got undaggered. But, Kol was obviously heating with rage that all he cared about was torturing Klaus that he hadn’t been aware of his surroundings, so I guess it makes perfect sense as to why he doesn’t remember Damon.

“I don’t, quite actually. How about I go over there and rip out his arms.” Kol clenched his jaw, then attempted to walk over to you and Damon, but right before he had the chance to take another step, Rebekah grabbed his arm to stop him.

“Are you mad? Mother will kill you if you ruin her party.” Rebekah snarled. There was no way she was going to let Kol make a scene.

“Fine. I promise I’ll behave, sister.” Kol sighed. He chugged his champagne glass, leaving it empty. Then, he walked over to you and Damon. Setting his glass on the nearest table.


(Back to you and Damon…)

“So which Mikaelson do you have wrapped around your finger?” Damon twirled his pointer finger in the air. “Let me guess, the noble Elijah.”

“Very funny, but no.” You laughed. Never did you find any of the other Mikaelson brothers attractive. Klaus is crazy and vengeful, while Elijah and Finn are just too old for you. Kol was the perfect fit for you. Other than being a psychotic original, he’s charming and he knows how to have fun. 

“I mean come on, he has nice hair and he’s always dressed to the nines. What’s there not to love?” Damon shrugged.

“You’re ridiculous. Stop.” You stifled a laugh.

“What do we have here?” You heard a voice growing closer behind you. You already knew who it was, so you didn’t have to turn your head to look, being that it’s your boyfriend, Kol. Before you and Damon could get another word out, Kol continued. “Oh yeah, you were just leaving, mate.” Kol narrowed his eyes at Damon.

“Kol, stop.” You demanded to your boyfriend. Oh no. Here we go again with his jealousy streak.

“So it’s Kol Mikaelson that you’re canoodling with.” Damon said to you, making a joke out of the confrontation. You admitted with a nod, feeling very uncomfortable about where this is going to go. There’s no stopping Kol once he’s started.

Kol walked up closer to Damon, being just inches away. You sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “Perhaps it’s best if you go bugger off elsewhere. We wouldn’t want it to get ugly.” Kol growled, keeping his eyes focused on Damon.

You noticed that a couple of people picked up on the tension between the two men, so you thought of it as your cue to stop it. If Esther was to see this, she wouldn’t take it lightly with Kol. “Okay, that’s enough.” You grabbed Kol by the arm, breaking his view of Damon.

“Whatever.” Damon rolled his eyes at Kol, then walked away to go find someone else to bother. It made you feel relieved that Damon didn’t take it personal.

“Seriously Kol?! You know your mom would probably kill you if you fucked up her party!” You pushed Kol in the chest. The last thing you wanted was to lose him again because of his own flaws, which infuriated you.

“You think I don’t know that, darling? That’s why I didn’t gouge his eyeballs out the moment I walked up to him.” Kol put his hands on your shoulders, calming you down, then he shot you that cute smirk of his which you couldn’t resist, making you quickly forgive him.

“As crazy as you are, I love you to death.” You smiled while shaking your head.

“And I love you, sweetheart. Always and forever.” Kol grabbed your hand, planting a long kiss at your knuckles.

anonymous asked:

Request! How would the RFA react to an MC that looks delicate innocent and all that, but then shES A TOTAL MEMESTER *dabs* AND SWEARS LIKE A SAILOR 24/7

lololol this is so me except I’m neither delicate nor innocent looking I’m just abnormally quiet but I will swear just to put emphasis on other swear words ok

also pretend that in the chats, MC acts ‘normally’ I guess, since she wanted to make a good impression. But now that she’s gotten more comfortable with the RFA, it’s time to let loose. 

also also sorry not sorry for my cringey memeing

also also also (really, actually sorry) I think swearing like a sailor and knowing good insults are part of the same package so…tah


YOOᔕᑌᑎG:

  • AW BABY
  • at first, he thinks you’re an actual angel
  • you’re sweet, and pure, and so incredibly precious, you’re probably the most gent-
  • “Ay it’s my bitch- I mean boy, Yoosung!”
  • Did she…did she just call me her bitch?
  • not that he really minds though whoops 
  • This boy is s hOOK
  • When he grew up, he was the kid that thought “heck” was a terrible word
  • and now the love of his life just said the big ‘b’ word/?//???
  • MC the boy will cry actually he’s kinda scared that his mom is going to jump out from beneath a table holding a bible
  • Without realizing it, he’ll cover your mouth with his hand to ‘prevent’ you from saying any other bad words
  • then he realizes what he’s done and just sort of goes ah I hate myself
  • proceeds to curl up into a ball of solid misery
  • you: ಠ_ಠ
  • telling him memes just freaks him the fuck out because who is this person????
  • Yoosung hates surprises tbh
  • He calms down a bit once you revert to your chat room self, but this is only to lessen the blow, and you’ll gradually release your own beast all in due time
  • he’s fine with memes, not fine with swearing
  • but seriously when you guys live together he has a heart attack every time you stub your toe because you just yell profanities at the top of your lungs
  • “HOLY JESUS SWEET MOTHERFUCKER ” 
  • “o h  f O R THE LOVE OF SATAN’S FIERY BALLSACK10/10 for creativity
  • your neighbors are like uhm is she ok I don’t think she’s ok
  • meanwhile Yoosung is sobbing on the floor
  • ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


ᘔEᑎ:

  • Actually with Zen, it’s a little while before you openly started to swear and meme-out in front of him, since you are a bit afraid of his fans’ reactions
  • But at some point, Zen is acting with a really shitty excuse of a human being
  • This guy has some sort of god-complex (also he wears khaki pants and keeps screaming about death and ruling the world) which just makes you want him in his pretty face
  • As they wrap up a scene, he begins to complain about everything that went ‘wrong’, and proceeds to storm away after his tantrum
  • He shoves people out of the way, and Zen tugs you to the side before the shit kid can touch you
  • But you can’t keep your cool, and just-
  • “Woah excUSE me, fucking douche canoe coming through.”
  • You feel Zen’s fingers just freeze around your arm
  • Did those words really come out of your sweet little mouth? 
  • Starts to wonder how else your mouth can amaze him *wink wonk* jfc this kinky piece of shit is too much for me
  • Basically after that incident, you don’t hold back anymore
  • Although Zen doesn’t get used to it for a while after-all your words and appearance are so completely different, he secretly loves it when you swear
  • Especially when you mention body parts 
  • Specifically when you mention his body parts
  • He thinks he could handle any other surprise you throw at him
  • You prove him wrong during an RFA get-together one day, where you all go to visit Jaehee’s cafe together since she just began to sell new things I like to believe they have their happy endings no matter what route you choose see sometimes I can be optimistic
  • You buy one of the fresh baguettes, eye it for a moment, then your tongue darts out and-
  • “Babe, just what are you doing?” you hear Zen’s concerned voice
  • Everyone is looking at you
  • Meekly, you reply “I lik the bred.”
  • Seven doubles up in laughter, since he’s basically the only one who gets it this nerd
  • Zen thinks you’re ill
  • You have to explain to him that it’s from a meme, and horror dawns on his face
  • “I’m dating a female version of Seven.”
  • But it’s fine, he loves you anyways, and insists you teach him about the world of memes so he can try to understand your references
  • Though it’s like teaching the average mom how to use a computer
  • No matter how many times you explain, he just doesn’t get it


ᒍᗩEᕼEE:

  • Ok first off lemme just say rip Baehee
  • When she sees you for the first time, she is glad to see how sweet you look; your tender smile and innocent eyes wash away her stress and fatigue
  • That is, until you promptly grab her hand and say, “Damn, I’ve really hooked myself one bitchin’ fine-ass lady.”
  • Excuse me w h a t???????
  • Jaehee is physically unable to process what you just said
  • MC is that really you?!?!?!
  • “Jumin can really be a such dickhead sometimes. I’ve always wanted to say that to you,” you continue, scratching your head.
  • good job MC you just done gone and b r o k e the bae
  • How can someone so innocent-looking have such a foul vocabulary?
  • She thought the swearing was shocking enough
  • But boy was she not prepared for the memes
  • As soon as you two spot Seven, you just proceed to dab the fuck out and narrowly miss hitting Jaehee square in the face with your hand
  • oh no, she thinks
  • Seven reaches into his pocket and pulls out a few HB chips
  • seems like Dat Boi stashed a bag in big suit
  • “Bröther may i have some öats?” you say
  • on nO, she thinks again
  • “Sorry bröther, I’ve already begun eating the öats.”
  • “I have very few öats bröther, I must procure yours.”
  • Oh NO JUST WHAT DID I SIGN UP FOR??
  • Jaehee promptly collapses from the shock and let’s just say that it takes a while for her to recover 
  • She has you limit your swearing to when you’re alone together, if at all possible
  • But she cannot hold back your occasional meme streams while working at the coffee shop


ᒍᑌᗰIᑎ:

  • When Jumin first hears you swearing, a puzzled look flashes across his face, but there’s no grand reaction
  • He just accepts it as part of who you are, and thinks it’s an interesting part of ‘commoner language’
  • There’s a business meeting with some dudes whom you despise, mostly because of their lewd comments directed towards you, which Jumin merely brushes away
  • You walk up to your babe during a break
  • “That guy is an absolute fucking asshole, it’s a pity that you have to do business with such an obnoxious smelly ballsack.”
  • “Um princess he’s still here.”
  • said obnoxious smelly ballsack is fuming, starts cussing right back at you
  • You summon up all your hate for him and hiss “Cash me outside, howbow dah?”
  • Everyone in the room: ?????????
  • “MC what language was that just now?”
  • “The language of memes.”
  • *asks Seven what this language is*
  • “Can you please teach me how to speak it?”
  • Jumin’s very first meme, hear me out, is not about his gayness
  • It’s the heavy breathing cat
  • and oh my god does he spam it
  • So much that Zen just basically stops taking part in any chat that involves Jumin
  • The Memeing Ways Part 2: How to Keep a Meme Relevant by Saeyoung Choi
  • and actually, surprisingly enough, Jumin also becomes a memer
  • also becomes a meme himself


ᔕᗩEYOᑌᑎG:

  • Apart from the mutual memeing in the chats, Seven considered you to be more of a demure, down-to-fuck earth kind of girl, and this idea was only strengthened when he saw your sweet looking face
  • As soon as you spot the tomato in the crowd at the RFA party, you dart over to his side and say
  • “Well just fucking bend me over sideways and fuck me twice there are so many people?!”
  • Seven blinks at you
  • A slow grin spreads across his face as he realizes o h he’s been deceived
  • *pretends to be shot in the chest*
  • “Hmmmmmm watcha saayyy,” you sing, slowly backing away
  • Seven is gonna die he loves you so much???? like what she’s also into memes????
  • Adores your cussing, and y’all nerds start to make up your own insults, even if they really don’t make any sense to other people
  • His personal favorites are “white crayola” and “factory edition Vanderwood″
  • You guys order your very own none pizza with left beef, but it tastes to bad
  • #firstworldproblems
  • You start making memes of each other
  • MEMES ALL DAY EVERY DAY
  • NEED I REALLY SAY MORE? ? ???
Fifty Shades of Park Jimin

Originally posted by trash-for-bangtan

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Length: 6k+ 

Warnings: Dry Humping, Dirty talk (do you seriously expect anything else from me tbh), just a lot of filth.

A/N: Okay so, I know this is 2 days late but I had to prepare an unexpected presentation, as well as present, at a peace symposium so i could not post on time. Though please appreciate that I ignored all my studies for an exam in 3 days and spent the whole afternoon writing and editing this, bless. Thank you. Other than that, happy reading :))))) Also the part about them being too beautiful is no exaggeration. To the people who have seen BTS live will know what I am talking about.

P.s.: Fuck park jimin tbh.

Keep reading

3

A/N: Request from anon. Not only does Loki slay as himself but also as other characters. We love him for that, don’t we?

13th October: Costume madness. 👗 | feat. Loki

Words: 930
Warnings: none

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An Unexpected Surprise - Liam Dunbar Imagine

Requested: Nope. Just an idea I had for a Liam imagine.

Word Count: 3,320

Warnings: Cursing, Mentions of implied smut/sex, Teenage pregnancy

Author’s Note: It’s been a while since I’ve written a Liam imagine. I miss writing about my SMOL. I hope you like it. Feedback is always welcome and appreciated :)

[My Teen Wolf Master List]

Originally posted by onlyateendreamerdiary

Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

“Come on, come on, come on,” Y/N repeated as she paced back and forth in her bathroom while looking at the timer on her phone in her hand.

Two days ago Y/N realized she was late and bought a pregnancy test at the drug store on the way home from school. For two days, she had the brown paper bag with the test hidden inside behind her towels in the linen closet of her bathroom. As soon as she woke up this morning, she double-checked if the house was empty as her parents were supposed to leave early for a business trip. When the coast was clear, she took out the test, peed on the stick, and was now experiencing the most torturous three minutes of her life as she waited to see if the test was positive or negative.

Y/N’s phone vibrated as the timer finally rang. Y/N closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she grabbed the test and sat on the toilet. She silently prayed the test would be negative. She was never a religious person, but right now she hoped some higher power would answer her prayer. She was only a junior in high school and a werewolf. She wasn’t ready to be a mother.

She took a deep breath before she opened her eyes and turned the test around to look at the results.

Positive.

Keep reading

When I Was Your Man // A Stiles Stilinski Smut

Prompt/Song: When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars.

Relationship: Stiles Stilinski x Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Explicit Sexual Content, Fingering, Cheating, Swearing, and Angst.

Word Count: 7,956 (No ragrets. I like detail, okay? I enjoy making you feel like you’re just as involved in the story as the characters are. So, sue me.)

Disclaimer: I don’t know who the gif belongs to because I found it on Google, but credit to them none-the-less.

Your name: submit What is this?

Wiping his clammy hands down on his crimson red pants and taking a much needed deep breath, Stiles Stilinski walked into the loud dance club to attend his ex-girlfriend’s birthday party. Which he technically wasn’t invited to but went anyway, because the man knew no boundaries. He did know, however, that she probably didn’t want to see him ever again and yet he couldn’t find it in himself to stay away. He absolutely hates that he had to continuously lie to protect the woman he loved, the woman he still loves, from the supernatural world but what he truly hates the most is that he’d have to constantly let her down because of it.

He’s lost count of all the times he had to cancel on their dates because someone in this chaotic town needed saving or how many times he had to try to come up with excuses to cover up his secret only for her to see right through them everytime. It broke Stiles’ heart to know that he continuously deceived her, but he knew that he had no other choice since he didn’t want her anywhere near the danger the pack always faced.

The day she ended things with him is the day Stiles hates the most in his life. He couldn’t handle the way she cried as she told him all of the nights she spent sobbing because of him or all of the times she felt betrayed because her own boyfriend would deny telling her the truth whenever she asked. Stiles’ heart shattered when he watched her walk away from him, never turning back, and it still remains that way. It’s already been two months since they broke up, but the wounds were definitely still open.

“Stiles?” He heard a voice call over the loud music and the human instantly turned around to see a familiar redhead. “Is that really you?”

“Yes, Lyds.” He smiled at her shocked face. “It’s me.”

“You seriously came to your ex-girlfriend’s party without an invite?” Lydia smirked, now chuckling along with him. “How daring of you.”

“What can I say?” Stiles shrugged. “I’m a badass by nature.”

The laughter that erupted from the banshee’s throat should’ve offended him, but Stiles laughed along with her instead. They both knew Stiles was a big softie and not exactly a badass, but he could still be tough whenever it was truly necessary.

“Of course you are.” The redhead snickered, lightly patting him on his broad shoulder. “But, I would avoid staying here if I were you.”

“And why is that?” Stiles narrowed his eyes at her, surprised when she, suddenly, stopped being in a light-hearted mood and became serious.

“You don’t know?” Lydia cleared her throat, nervous now that she realizes she’s the one who has tell one of her best friends the bad news. That without a doubt will hurt him even more than he already was.

“Know what?” Stiles asked, now anxious along with her. “Lydia, you’re scaring me.”

“S-She has a boyfriend.”

The second those words came out of her mouth, Stiles’ already broken heart dropped down into his stomach and shattered even more, which he honestly didn’t think was possible. A gaping and bleeding hole took the place where he once had a beating heart. Stiles felt as if the Winter Soldier himself had punched into his chest with his powerful metal arm and he was officially done for. It doesn’t even matter what Stiles does to try and fix himself, he’s now always going to be broken.

“A boyfriend?” He asked, his voice weak and Lydia winced at how pained he sounded.

The redhead just nodded, turning herself around to point to the couple wrapped in each other’s arms on the dance floor as they moved their bodies to the beat of the deafening music. Stiles reluctantly followed the direction of her finger and bit down on his bottom lip to somehow keep from crying when he saw the girl he so desperately loved dancing beautifully. He watched in awe at the way her hair bounced against her shoulders as she happily sang the words to a song Stiles had never heard before. But, he already liked it just by the way she seemed to. Jealousy and hurt flooded his body at the sight of some unknown guy dancing closely to her with his hands gripping her waist, the same waist Stiles held onto whenever they were intimate. The same hips he loved planting kisses on when he moved lower and lower down her body until he reached the area she desired him the most.

“I should probably go.” Stiles stated, trying to swallow the hard lump in his dry throat.

“Yeah,” Lydia nodded, but then smirked with an idea. “Or you could get a quick drink first. It is open bar after all.”

Tearing his eyes away from the painful scene, Stiles looked down at the banshee and nodded. Lydia smiled and lead them through the sweaty crowd and towards the bar, the smell of alcohol getting stronger with every step they took.

“Bartender!” Lydia called once they reached it, slamming her hands down on the counter. “Can you get me two beers, please?”

“Two beers coming right up.” The polite man smiled and pulled out the two their drinks from under the counter.

He snapped the tops off with a specific tool and slid the beers over to the redhead, who easily caught them before they could fall off the surface.

“Thank you very much.” Lydia smiled back at him as she handed Stiles a bottle.

The young man immediately took a swig and enjoyed the feeling of the bitter liquid making its way down his once dry throat. Lydia looked at him with a kind smile on her face, taking her own sip of the drink. She put the bottle back down on the counter as she licked the remaining liquid off her lips, but Stiles didn’t dare put his drink away. He needed this beer more than anything to somehow feel better at the realization that he lost the girl he actually believed he could get back, forever.

“Are you okay?” Lydia asked, noticing how quiet and still he was. Two characteristics Stiles Stilinski certainly never displays.

“No, I’m not.” Stiles answered truthfully, taking another sip of his alcohol.

“I know what it’s like.” She patted his shoulder to comfort him. “But, hey think about the bright side. At least she’s not a lizard who turned into werewolf then left you to go to London. Or a former Alpha that actually killed people you knew and ended up dying before you could ever see him redeem himself.”

A muffled laugh escaped from his lips even though he was still drinking from his bottle and Stiles swallowed his liquor before turning to look at Lydia whole-heartedly.

“Right, but at least things between you and Parrish seem to be working.” Stiles answered.

“Yeah, when he’s not on fire.” Lydia scoffed. “And I’m not even talking about sex.”

This comment was enough to make Stiles’ heart a little less heavy as he detached his attention from the dancing girl to his best female friend and her spicy sex life.

The dancing girl, on the other hand, was currently wiping away the accumulated sweat on her forehead as she continued dancing with her new boyfriend. He was the sweetest and most attentive guy she’s ever met. He always makes sure to spend as much time with her as humanly possible, so much so that his GPA score in college had been dropping from his lack of studying. It was very refreshing to her, having a boyfriend around all the time… something completely different from Stiles Stilinski.

However, it wasn’t at all his fault. He couldn’t control the supernatural or make it go away, but he believed it was his job to at least save the people this world puts in danger. It hurt her so much to know that Stiles had a mysterious secret she could never be apart of. She knew that Stiles loved her and only ever did what he thought was best. But, it’s too bad it just wasn’t enough.

As if on cue, the heartbroken girl turned her head at the exact moment that Stiles decided to take a peak at her. The world screeched to a halt when their eyes locked and finally saw each other again after being separated for two whole months. Her eyes were wide and her jaw dropped at the sight of the brown haired boy with freckles painted all over his fair skin. Her heart immediately beat faster and she felt as if it would suddenly jump out of her chest and fly towards him. She missed him, there’s no doubting that. And apparently, so did her body and soul. The way she’s feeling right now, just by the realization that she’s in the same room as him, was enough to know.

Stiles carefully put his bottle down on the bar counter and tuned out everything Lydia was currently saying, his attention only focused on the girl gazing at him. Her face was completely shocked and he chuckled internally at how astonished she looked. Stiles could see the blush heating up on her face all the way from the other side of the bar and it made his heart flutter to know he still had an effect on her.

Lydia stopped talking absentmindedly when she noticed Stiles slowly lift his hand and wave with a smile on his face towards someone on the dance floor. The redhead turned to see just who he was greeting and immediately smiled when she realized it was exactly the person he came here to see.

“You should go say hi.” Lydia suggested.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Stiles answered, no longer waving to her but still holding the gaze.

“Oh, she already sees you.” The banshee shrugged. “I see no harm in at least going over there to wish her a happy birthday. I mean, at this point, it would be rude if you didn’t.”

Stiles carefully thought over Lydia’s suggestion, her words repeating in his head over and over again. He wanted to talk to her desperately, but then again he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable in any way. He knows how recent this all still is and he’s well aware of the pain pooling inside of her just like it was in him.

“Fine.” Stiles nodded, taking a deep breath before standing up.

Stiles’ ex-girlfriend’s eyes widened even more, which wasn’t thought possible until now, when he stood up from the bar stool and began walking over towards her. She didn’t know whether or not she wanted him to approach her, but she definitely knew that her heartbeat rose with every step the boy she still loved took.

That’s when the unexpected happened and neither one of them were ready for it. The techno beat song that was echoing in the dance club ended and was replaced with a slow love song. But, not just any love song, their love song.

Stiles immediately stopped in his tracks and she immediately stopped dancing. Her boyfriend looked at her with a confused glance, but her focus was locked on Stiles. Neither one of them knew what to do as all of the memories, the times they spent together, the intimate touches and the feelings came crashing down on them with full force. They both almost fell at how weak their knees felt.

The way she was gazing at him right now made a new sense of confidence coming from an unknown source spark in his blood and an idea lit up in his mind. It could either end up really well or really badly, but Stiles didn’t give his anxiety the time to think it over. He moved his legs once again and continued walking towards her which made the girl panic. Her boyfriend continuously asked her if she was okay but she couldn’t even answer, too nervous over the boy approaching her.

“Hi.” Stiles greeted and she swallowed nervously at the sound of his voice again after so long.

“H-Hey.” She responded and completely let go of her boyfriend to push her hair behind her ears, a habit she has whenever she felt anxious. Which Stiles knew about and couldn’t help but smile at how adorable she looked.

“Hi.” The boyfriend spoke up and Stiles took his attention off of her to look over at the source of the voice. The young man told Stiles his name even though it was pointless considering Stiles would forget it in a matter of minutes. “And you are?”

“Stiles.” The boy with freckles answered, politely extending his hand out towards the fellow guy. They both shook hands with kind smiles on their faces.

“What brings you to the dance floor?” The boyfriend asked.

“I was actually wondering if I could borrow your girl for just one dance.” Stiles requested and the girl felt like she was about to faint. She didn’t know if she had it in her to be able to dance with Stiles without falling apart.

“Sure, but don’t steal her for too long or I’ll get jealous.” The boyfriend chuckled after taking a few seconds to think it over. The man was undoubtedly a good person and Stiles actually liked him as he turned around to place a chaste kiss on his ex’s lips. “I’ll be over at the bar with the boys if you need me.”

She just nodded and he looked at Stiles one last time before smiling at the both of them and walking away. She gazed up at Stiles with doe eyes and he couldn’t help but smile at how beautiful she was. Extending his hand out to her, she took it and he placed it on his shoulder at the same time that he used his other hand to put it on her waist. When both of her hands were on his shoulders, Stiles rested his other hand on the other side of her waist. Their faces were just inches apart as he stared intensely into her eyes, her heart pounding heavily against her ribcage at how lovingly he gawked at her. It’s been a month since she found a new boyfriend but Stiles certainly still had her wrapped around his finger.

“You know, when I found out you had a new boyfriend I was really hoping I’d hate him.” Stiles spoke up as they started to sway their bodies to the rhythm of the song that belonged to them and no one else. “But, damn, I actually like the dude.”

“Yeah, he’s a really nice guy.” She laughed at Stiles’ surprising compliment and the breath-taking sound made his heart stop.

“You really know how to pick them.” Stiles chuckled, quirking his eyebrows at her to make her laugh again and a smile appeared on his face when it worked.

“I guess I do.” She giggled, letting her head fall on his chest for the slightest second as she laughed before picking it back up. But, this time she was no longer laughing and had a serious expression planted on. “I just don’t know how to keep them interested enough to stay.”

“What are you talking about?” Stiles questioned, furious that any boy would ever dare think this amazing girl in his arms was boring. “Who was stupid enough to think that?”

She looked at him with pain evident in her eyes, water glossing over them. Which only meant she was about to cry and Stiles’ gut wrenched at the scene. The last time he saw her cry was when she ended their relationship and it was the worst thing he’d ever witnessed in his entire life. Stiles strongly believed that this beautiful woman should never had tears in her eyes, only sparks of happiness.

“You.”

Stiles felt as if he was just trampled on by a herd of the biggest elephants on the planet when she referred to him. The three lettered word took the shattered heart in his body and pounded it until it was a mere pile of dry dust, making him feel worse than he ever had.

“M-Me?” He stuttered, not being able to think properly. “How?”

“You always canceled on dates, you never texted me or called me back enough, you always put your secret life first that you’d never let me in on, and you constantly felt this need to lie to me for no real reason.” She listed, trying her best to wipe away her tears but there was no point due to the immense amount running down her cheeks. “I guess I just wasn’t good enough for you.”

“Don’t you dare say that.” Stiles shook his head, taking one of his hands off her waist to place it on her flushed cheek. “You were- you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“Then, why didn’t it ever seem like it?”

“Because things are more complicated than you can imagine.” He defended, but she simply scoffed at his ridiculously vague response. “Look, I need you to believe that whenever I lie to you, I do have my reasons.”

“It’s too bad that I don’t believe you.” She pulled his hand off her cheek and began to slowly detach herself from his hold.

“No, don’t leave!” Stiles panicked, not wanting her to leave his presence just yet. Or ever, really. “I-I still love you and I know that I can make it up to you somehow-”

“Stiles-” She cried, not wanting to hear him speak because she knew that if he did she would be putty in his hands soon enough.

“Wait, just let me finish.” He interrupted her just like she had interrupted him, his voice already desperate. “I know I messed up and I know I can never take it back. But, I can change from now on and, I promise, I will change. You have my heart and I am nothing without you so please– please –don’t do this. Just come back to me and I swear I’ll do everything right this time. I’ll always pick up your calls on the first ring, I’ll buy you flowers every damn day, I’ll take you to every party this town can offer because I know how much you love to dance, I won’t cancel on dates anymore because you will always be my priority, and I promise I’ll give you all of my hours when I have the chance.”

He confessed the beautiful words with such emotion and love in his frantic voice that it made her heart stop and melt in her ribcage. Even though she’s been trying to move on and find a way to forget him, there’s no doubt that Stiles Stilinski still had the key to her locked heart. She wanted to be with him more than anything, but she also wanted to respect herself. Men always say they’re gonna change, but they never really do and she knew that. Even though she wasn’t used to it, the girl had to put herself and her own feelings first this time.

“Will you tell me what you’ve been hiding from me?” She asked, hoping desperately that he would say yes.

Stiles’ face fell to the floor in defeat because he knew that that wasn’t possible. Everyone that gets involved in his dangerous world either always gets hurt or… worse. And Stiles would never forgive himself if something happened to the woman he loved. He would rather lay down his own life than ever let her be vulnerable to the risks and threats that come with the supernatural.

“I-I can’t.”

“Then, I can’t go back to you Stiles.” She responded, her heart breaking even more. “I deserve better than this.”

“I know you do.” Stiles’ voice was weak with the tears threatening to escape his eyes.

“But, I still want you in my life. I still want to be friends.” The girl requested and Stiles scoffed at the common sentence every former couple says but never actually commits to. He felt her soft hand rest on his chin and lift his face that had fallen to look up back at her. “Stiles, I’m serious. I can’t lose you.”

“I can’t lose you either.” He confessed, feeling small.

“Promise me you’ll be in my life.” She requested. “Even if we don’t have the emotional stability to see each other all the time, just promise me you’ll at least be there for the big moments.”

Stiles looked into her breath-taking eyes and he felt himself getting lost in them. She was everything to him and he would never want to lose her friendship, even if that meant having a painful one. Butterflies made their way into her stomach when the edges of Stiles’ lips curled into a beautiful smile.

“I promise.”


~


Lydia Martin rushed down the halls of the beautiful hotel with the life-saving tool in her perfectly manicured hands, the sound of her heels clicking on the floor as she ran. Quickly opening the door to the dressing room she so desperately needed to approach, the redhead strode inside along with Malia hot on her trail. Their eyes landed on the girl that used to date Stiles who has now become one of their best friends and smiled the second they saw her smile at how breathless they both were.

“I got it!” Lydia celebrated, walking over to the girl and handing her the mascara that was in her hands.

“And I got this.” Malia smirked, gesturing towards the alcoholic beverage in her grasp.

“Congratulations to both of you.” (Y/N) laughed, taking the mascara Lydia was giving her and opening it to apply it on her eyelashes.

“Do you need help?” Lydia asked, closing the door to the dressing room.

“I’m okay.” She smiled, but immediately groaned when she smudged mascara on her eye lid. She turned away from the mirror she was using to face Lydia, who already had a grin on her face. “Please save me.”

“Alright, Alright.” The redhead chuckled, walking closer and taking the mascara from her. “Lydia Martin to the rescue.”

She began to put on the mascara on her eyelashes as she internally appreciated the rest of the makeup on (Y/N)’s flawless face. She had a simple smokey eye that really made her eye color pop along with the perfect amount of blush spread across her fair cheeks. She hadn’t put lipstick on yet considering it’s the last thing you should do when applying makeup, but Lydia already knew the right shade that would tie up her entire look.

“There you go.” The redhead smiled when she finished the job and closed the mascara, putting it on the dresser her friend was using. “All set.”

“Thanks, Lyds.” She smiled, her entire face glowing with happiness. “You’re a life saver.”

“I know.” Lydia smirked, pushing her strawberry blonde hair behind her shoulders for sass.

“You know who else is a life saver?” Malia spoke up, walking over to sit on the small couch. “Scott.”

“And why is that?” Lydia questioned.

“Because I just overheard someone was trying to sneak in and he took care of it.” Malia shrugged, taking a sip of her drink.

“Who was trying to sneak in?” (Y/N) asked, curious that someone would try to ruin her special day.

“I don’t know.” Malia shrugged. “But, the dude was absolutely hysterical from what I heard.”

Even though the girls didn’t want to believe her, Malia actually had a point. The person that wanted so desperately to enter the hotel indeed was hysterical. But, the thing was, he wasn’t just any person. He was Stiles Stilinski and he would stop at nothing to get inside to the girl he still loved after being away from her for an entire year.

“Bro, you know this isn’t a good idea!” Scott exclaimed at his best friend frantically trying to get out of the Alpha’s grasp. “Go home.”

“Scott, I can’t just go home!” Stiles whisper-shouted, careful not to let any of the guests know about the scene he was causing. He didn’t want to make things any worse than what he already had planned. “I have to see her.”

“And do what exactly?” Scott questioned, his eyes narrowing at the human.

“Stop her from marrying the wrong guy!” Stiles yelled and the werewolf let go of his best friend from how shocked he was, his jaw dropping and eyes widening at the process.

“You can’t do that.” He shook his head. “Stiles, don’t do that.”

“I have to, Scott.” The human answered, fixing his vest and letting out a sigh. “She’s the love of my life and I can’t let her walk down that aisle if I’m not the one at the end of it.”

“Stiles, this is the most idiotic plan you’ve ever had and that’s saying a lot considering all of the really bad ideas you’ve had before.”

“I don’t care.” Stiles huffed. “I have to talk to her.”

“Okay, fine.” Scott stated, his voice challenging. “I’ll let you in if you give me your invitation.”

Stiles’ eyes dropped to the floor in defeat and he shifted on his feet as Scott watched his best friend with a pained heart. He hates that he has to do this, but he’ll hate himself even more if he lets him go and Stiles gets hurt even more. The girl he loves is getting married today and she’s not just gonna drop everything for him. Life isn’t a movie, it’s real and usually comes with disappointing endings.

“I-I can’t.”

“Because you don’t have one.” Scott said and Stiles just nodded. “Don’t you think that’s enough of a sign to let you know that this isn’t something you should do?”

“What would you do if it was Allison marrying someone else?” Stiles asked, picking​ his head back up to look at Scott.

“I’d let her.”

“No, you wouldn’t.” Stiles disagreed, knowing his best friend would fight for the love of his life until his very last breath. “And I’m not letting (Y/N) go either.”

“Stiles, you’re just gonna get hurt.”

“So, be it.”

Before Scott could even expect it, Stiles rushed past him and immediately ran down the halls towards the room he just witnessed Lydia and Malia entering. His detective skills made him deduct that that’s where the bride was and he approached it without even thinking, Scott running right after him.

The same door flew open from two running young adults for the second time today, but this time (Y/N) didn’t smile and lightly laugh when it was revealed who had barged into her dressing room. Instead, her smile she had on with the girls had faded.

Awkward tension instantly invaded the small space when hers and Stiles’ eyes landed on each other, her heart already stopping and her breath hitching in her now dry throat. Stiles was also shocked, not knowing what to expect when he finally saw her again after all that time. Neither one of them said anything, they just kept their wide eyes locked together and didn’t even try to hide the fact that they were both breathing heavily.

“I’m so sorry!” Scott shouted, breaking the awful silence. “I-I tried to stop him, I swear! But, he wouldn’t work with me and-”

“Scott, it’s okay.” The bride intervened his panic with a weak and strained voice.

“I-It is?” Scott stuttered in surprise and she nodded, everyone else in the room just as shocked as the werewolf.

“So, you’re the crazy dude trying to break in?” Malia spoke up and Stiles just nodded as well, not willing to take his stare off of the girl he wanted to be with. “Makes sense.”

Stiles’ eyes trailed across (Y/N), taking in her sight after missing it so much. She was so beautiful he had almost forgot. Sure, she was only in a purple satin robe and her hair was down in its natural state, but the young woman looked breath-taking to him anyway. And Stiles himself looked amazing to her. He was wearing a white button up shirt with a silver vest on top of it and a silver bowtie to tie everything together, not to mention the black tuxedo pants, and (Y/N) was certain she would faint at his never ending beauty.

“Guys, can you give me and Stiles a minute?” She asked and everyone’s eyebrows raised.

“Are you sure?” Lydia asked.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“Okay.” Lydia nodded, grabbing Malia’s hand as they walked towards the door. “We’ll be at the temple.”

The redhead got a hold of Scott last before she pulled the three outside and the werewolf shut the door behind them, leaving the two exes alone in the same room together. And to say they were both extremely nervous wouldn’t be enough to describe how intense everything felt.

“I wonder if my invite got lost in the mail.” Stiles cleared his throat, speaking up first. “Because I’m pretty sure I was supposed to receive one.”

“I-I didn’t think you’d want to come.” The bride responded nervously.

“Yeah, but I made you a promise, remember?” Stiles answered, taking a step towards her. “I’ll never miss the big moments.”

Her heart fluttered and she immediately stood up, approaching him as well. Their bodies closer and already craving the other at how much they missed each other.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here.” She confessed and Stiles smiled.

“Me, too.”

“Did you bring a date?” She asked and Stiles scoffed at her question.

“I could never.” He shrugged like it was the most obvious thing ever.

“Why not?” (Y/N) tilted her head to the side, confused as to why someone so handsome like him wouldn’t have a girl attached to his arms.

“Because I’m in love with someone else.”

She didn’t even have to ask who it was, just by the way he was gawking at her like she was the only girl in the world made her already know. She hadn’t cried since that night she saw Stiles at her birthday party, but that strike was about to be ruined with how the familiar burning sensation poked in her eyes.

“Stiles, y-you should really go.” She stuttered, worried that if he stayed something would happen between them.

She loves her fiancee more than anything in the world, but there’s always going to be something there with Stiles. He was her first boyfriend, her first time, her first love, her first everything. That kind of person doesn’t just go away in your life, they’ll always be there lingering in the back of your mind and there’s nothing you can do to change that.

“Not without doing this first.” He shook his head, taking one more step towards her until he finally reached her.

Stiles’ hands gently grabbed her cheeks and, without even thinking twice, he crashed his soft lips against her plump ones. The bride couldn’t even find it in herself to stop him, her mind and body already falling into a trance. She understood that letting him kiss her was wrong especially since she was about to get married to another man in a few, but all she could think about was his familiar mouth moving against hers.

The kiss wasn’t just any simple kiss though, it was full of love and saudade. A word in portuguese that means a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent someone that one loves. Saudade was once described as “the love that remains” after someone is gone and is the recollection of feelings or experiences that once brought excitement, pleasure, well-being, happiness. Which now triggers the senses and makes one feel alive again.

Once they both needed to breathe, Stiles pulled away but kept his hands on her face. He smiled at how swollen her lips now were and she felt thankful for not having put any lipstick on before he arrived.

“I love you.” Stiles stated, caressing her skin with his thumb and smiled.

She didn’t say it back or really had the time to if she wanted to say it in the first place because the next thing she knew Stiles’ lips are back on hers and he’s pushing her towards her dresser, the back of her knees hitting the edge. Stiles’ hands moved from her cheeks to swipe away all of the makeup on the dresser, throwing them on the floor, and lift her up on the surface. When his lips went from hers to place tempting kisses on her neck as he slowly untied her robe, (Y/N) immediately snapped back into reality.

“Stop!” She exclaimed, instantly pushing him off of her and breathing in the air her lungs were begging for.

“Did I do something wrong?” Stiles panted, his voice worried.

“Yes! I’m about to get married, Stiles! You can’t just kiss me or try anything else!”

“I-I’m sorry.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “I couldn’t help myself.”

“Leave, Stiles.” She ordered, pointing to the door. “You can’t be here.”

“No, no, no. I don’t want to go and I know you don’t want that either.” Stiles shook his head frantically, approaching her again. “Remember when you asked me to always be in your life?”

“Yeah, but not like this!” She flailed her arms to express her frustration. “I want us to be friends not destroy each other with our lingering feelings.”

“I’m sorry, I really am. But, my feelings are always gonna be there.” Stiles placed his hands on the surface around her thighs, but didn’t dare touch her out of respect. “Especially since how we ended things so abruptly! I never got the proper closure.”

“And neither did I.” She retorted. “But we have to move on, Stiles. We’re just two disasters that are detrimental to each other. We aren’t meant to be.”

“I can’t be apart from you.”

“I can’t be with you.”

Silence filled the room as they both thought, neither one of them ready to except the other’s terms. Stiles can’t imagine a life not alongside (Y/N) and she can’t imagine a life constantly being lied to with him.

“Does he make you happy?” Stiles asked suddenly and she certainly didn’t expect it.

“Yes, he does.”

Stiles couldn’t handle the truth she just confessed to him because in that moment it finally hit him will full force. He would never get the girl he was in love with back ever again. She had slipped from his hands and there really was nothing he could do to have her return. The gorgeous bride before him was the one that got away.

“So, is this it?” He asked, not caring that there were actually tears escaping from his eyes. “Is this the end of our love story?”

She didn’t dare say anything because she knew if she did she would burst into tears and sobs. Instead, the bride just nodded.

“C-Can I say goodbye?” Stiles asked, never feeling more vulnerable in his entire life.

“Yeah.” She shrugged, thinking he was just going to hug her and leave but was completely surprised when he kissed her again.

Stiles held tightly on her waist and kissed her with so much force, she almost fell back on the mirror. (Y/N) knew that this would be their last kiss ever and therefore didn’t feel the need to stop him. She allowed Stiles to kiss her with everything he had in him and she kissed him back just as passionately. Both of them forgot the whole world around them as they let themselves fall into this moment of pure weakness.

“I’ll go now.” Stiles breathed, pulling away and placing one last kiss on her forehead as he let go of her to leave the room.

The blushing bride thought long and hard before she decided that that wasn’t enough to say goodbye. She was well aware she was about to get married, but she also knew that this was the last time she’d ever have the opportunity to be with Stiles again. After today, they would be officially over and, for that reason, she immediately grabbed his hand and stopped him in his tracks. Stiles instantly turned around with wide eyes when she pulled him back to her.

“Wait,” She stated, spreading her legs for Stiles to settle in between them and placing her hands on the back of his neck. “Not yet.”

Before he could even ask what the yet meant in her sentence, her mouth returned on his and this time she was the one that kissed him hard. Out of pure instinct, his hands rested on her waist and she tugged his hair which earned her a small moan from Stiles. She took advantage of this and slid her tongue inside, Stiles moaning again in surprise.

“What are you doing?” Stiles panted, breaking their kiss the second she began undoing his bowtie and threw it on the floor.

“Saying goodbye the right way.”

He finally understood what she was getting at when she pushed his vest off his shoulders and began unbuttoning his white shirt. Stiles didn’t waste any time either, considering she was literally on a tight schedule, and untied the straps of her robe. The satin fabric fell on her dresser and Stiles let out a shameless moan when he realized she was completely naked.

“I didn’t want any panty lines.” She shrugged, taking off his shirt. “And the dress has a built-in bra anyway.”

“Oh, I am in no way complaining.” Stiles smirked, letting go of her to quickly unbuckle his belt and open his pants. They instantly fell on the floor and he pulled off his boxers as well, stepping out of both pieces of clothing.

The two gawked at each other, enjoying the sight of one another’s naked bodies after spending so much time away. Stiles licked his lips at her perky nipples, waiting to be nibbled on, and she couldn’t take her eyes off of his increasing erection. He wasn’t at his full potential just yet, but the young woman still believed he looked incredibly sexy.

Stiles’ lips attacked her neck and sucked hard on her pulse point, his hands wrapping around her back as he pushed her bare body into his.

“Don’t leave any marks.” She requested and the words without a doubt wounded him because he knew she didn’t want any evidence of their time together. Even though it hurt like a bitch, Stiles pushed the pain down and focused on making her moan.

Which he definitely succeeded in because in a matter of seconds, the bride was a whimpering mess under him and the sounds jolted through him straight to his dick. What turned her on even more than what he already was doing to her was the delicious feeling of his erection rubbing against the inside of her thigh.

“Stiles, we don’t have much time.” She moaned, her hips bucking against him and begging for the friction to calm down the throbbing ache in her core.

“Are you wet enough?” He asked before bringing his hand down her body to slide his finger through her surprisingly soaking folds. “Oh, you definitely are.”

Stiles’ middle finger landed on her swollen clitoris and her eyes immediately shut when he rubbed slow circles against her wet nub. The increasing feeling of desire rushed through both of their bodies and he couldn’t help himself when he attached his mouth on one of her inviting breasts, sucking hard as his tongue flicked her nipple. The bride could already feel pleasure build inside of her and she knew that she would lose her mind if he wasn’t in her soon enough.

“Stiles,” She panted, the young man’s cock twitching at the sound of her begging his name. “Please.”

“Okay, okay.” Stiles nodded, biting down on her nipple and letting go of her now wet breast with a pop. “I don’t suppose you have a condom on you, do you?”

“No.” She laughed. “But, we don’t need one.”

“We don’t?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

“I’m on the pill.” She stated and the pain inside of him resurfaced when he realized just why she was taking such precautions.

Stiles didn’t want to think about the fact that she was having sex with someone else and that, after tonight, he’ll be able to touch her, kiss her, hold her, make love to her as much as he damn pleases. The woman that has his ruined heart in her hands was going to be a wife and what hurt most was she wasn’t going to be his wife. The young man decided to ignore his feelings and just enjoy this one last moment with her as fully as he could.

Stiles removed his hand from her core and used it to pump himself a few times as she spread her legs more for him. When he felt like he was ready enough, Stiles aligned himself with her entrance and slowly pushed in. (Y/N) immediately moaned at the feeling of his thick staff stretching her tight walls and Stiles was a mess of so many different emotions.

Of course he was extremely turned on and loved that his cock was now buried deep inside of her, but he was also sad and actually felt like crying. Saying goodbye to the hope he had of being with her again was the hardest thing he’d ever have to do and Stiles, honestly, didn’t know if he could bear it. Sure, the girl he was currently making love to wasn’t the only one in the universe. But, to Stiles it seemed like she was.

He thrusted inside of her slowly and let his head fall on her shoulder at the incredible sensation of his member sliding in and out of her tight walls. Pleasure grew quickly in the two, both of them enjoying the feeling of being one again. The throbbing inside of her stopped, but appeared in Stiles instead. His cock unable to hide how much he adored her warm and slick core around him.

After making sure she was ready for it, Stiles increased his pace and was pounding inside of her in no time. All of the built up sexual frustration and tension between them really helped to make the knots in their stomachs tighten immediately. Stiles hitched her feet up on the dresser and (Y/N) couldn’t find the self control in her to keep her screams down. Stiles was fucking her in an entirely different angle, repeatedly hitting a sensitive spot she didn’t even know she had, and she didn’t care if people could hear how loud she was.

Stiles didn’t care either, in fact he secretly wanted people to hear. He wanted everyone to know that he was the one giving her immense pleasure and that no one in the world could make love to her like he could. She was screaming underneath him and her core would occasionally clench around Stiles, making him scream out as well. The continuous fast pace and hard thrusting didn’t take long to make the two near their much anticipated orgasms.

Not only did the dirty sounds of their moans and screams echo in the dressing room, but so did the sound of the dresser roughly banging against the wall along with their connected and wet groins slapping together. The sounds were music to Stiles’ ears and he never wanted to ever stop being with her. But, he knew that that wish would soon meet its end from how obviously close she was to falling over the edge. Without really wanting to, Stiles brought his hand down to her clitoris and rubbed intensely to guide her to her release.

The knot inside of her instantly exploded and spread an inexplicable amount of pleasure all throughout her body. It was so intense that she couldn’t control her own shaking and her core clenching down on him. Which, in response, Stiles immediately came as well. (Y/N) moaned at the feeling of his heated liquid shooting up inside of her and Stiles didn’t stop thrusting any time soon. He wanted to soak in this last memory they would create together as much as he could and he wanted it to last.

It was when she put her hands on his hips to stop his friction from how sensitive she’d become that Stiles halted his movements. Her ex-boyfriend then proceeded to place sweet kisses on her neck and cheeks before reluctantly pulling out. Stiles enjoyed the sight of her completely breathless because of him and his wet dick glistening with her juices one last time.

(Y/N) used her robe to clean herself up as Stiles put his clothes back on. His pants were the first ones on, followed by his white shirt and vest. The bride jumped off the desk and Stiles instinctively ran to her aid when her knees wobbled and she almost fell.

“You okay?” He asked and she nodded with a smile, giggling at the situation.

“I couldn’t be better.”

“Well, you are getting married today after all.” Stiles smiled.

“Which reminds me!” She pulled away from his grasp and rushed over to a rack that held her absolutely gorgeous wedding dress. “Can you help me put this on? I’ll help you tie your bowtie.”

“Of course.” Stiles chuckled, putting his undone bowtie around his neck as he approached her.

Stiles carefully and kindfully helped her put her wedding dress on and he almost fainted at how beautiful she looked. His eyes watered at the breath-taking sight and he envied her groom because he was the luckiest man in the entire world.

“How do I look?” She asked, spinning around in her dress happily.

“Words cannot describe how amazing you look.” Stiles answered truthfully and the bride blushed in response. “He’s a lucky man, you know.”

“I do know.”

“(Y/N), I hope he’s everything you’ve ever dreamed of.” Stiles confessed, gazing straight into her doe eyes. “I hope he always pick up your calls on the first ring, I hope he buys you flowers every damn day, I hope he takes you to every party this town can offer because I know how much you love to dance, I hope he never cancels on dates because you will always be his priority, I hope he gives you all of his hours when he has the chance, and I hope he does and is everything I should’ve when I was your man.”

“Me, too.” She responded, unable to hold back the few tears that rolled down her heated cheeks.

“Goodbye, (Y/N).”

“Goodbye, Stiles.”

The bride fixed Stiles’ bowtie with a never ending smile on her face and when they were both finally ready, the two former lovers walked out of the dressing room and headed towards the temple. Stiles entered the room first and sat right beside Scott, who definitely had a confused look on his face especially since his best friend smelled mostly of sex. But, also of another prominent emotion that made the werewolf’s heart burn as he watched Stiles gaze at the girl he loved so dearly when she happily walked down the aisle: sadness.

“Are you okay?” Scott asked his brother.

The word saudade is not only the definition of an inexplicable longing for someone you lost, but it can also carry a repressed knowledge that the person of longing might never return.

“Yeah, Scott. I really am.”

Stiles Stilinski knew that he would never get her back in his arms. But, he also knew that as long as she was completely happy-

He would find a way to be, too.

What happens in Vegas pt. 3 - Tom Holland

Word count: 2666

Summery:  You wake up after a night in Las Vegas, only to discover you married the one and only Tom Holland

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4  | Part 5 | Part 6 | Epilogue

Masterlist

A/N: It’s finally here! I finally got it done! I’m sick at the moment, so it took a little longer to write, but I finished it! I got the next part planned out, and I’m kinda excited for it. Please let me know what you think of this part, and if you want to be put on the tag list! So yeah. Enjoy! 

“I think we should take this one” You said to Tom, as the real estate agent had just walked away, allowing you to talk. This was the fifth place you had seen today. You had been followed by paparazzi all day, and playing a loving couple was already getting exhausting.

“I really like this one. It’s big. We can avoid each other, and we can be together if we want to. I really like the spa as well” He sent you a smirk, and you just rolled your eyes at him. At every apartment, he had pointed out the places that was suitable for sex. Every. Apartment.

“It’s not happening. Never again. We were drunk, it’s not happening” You told him seriously, but he just stood there, the smirk still on his lips. It’s not that you were regretting sleeping with him. Being honest you enjoyed it in the moment, but you didn’t like him. He was a jerk, and you didn’t want him to have the satisfaction of sleeping with you.

“We’ll see. I still think this is the right one, so why don’t we just take it, and start moving?” He asked, and starting walking towards the realtor, before you had a chance to answer. Why did he have to be so rude, all of the time? If he was actually a decent human being, being married to him wouldn’t be that bad. If he was a decent human being, maybe you would actually enjoy being with him.  Maybe you would even like him.

It didn’t take long to sign the contract. Since no one lived in the apartment, we could move in from tomorrow. You weren’t eager to move in with Tom, but it was better than him staying in your apartment all the time. At least here he would pay rent.

“So. You want to move tomorrow? I don’t have anything planned, so we could get a drink while unpacking, and then we could try out the bed” The worst part about him being so goddamn cocky, was that you now had to go out, pretending to be the fairy-tale couple the public thought you were.

“Unfortunately, We start filming tomorrow, so you’ll have to do that yourself” You sent him an innocent smile, as the realtor handed you the keys. “But I wouldn’t mind, having you unpack everything. Less work for me”

“Whatever. We’ll see what happens. Most of it is your stuff, so it’s only fair if you do most of the work” He smiled ironically, as he put the keys and the contract on the table, taking a picture of it for Instagram. The kid put everything on Instagram, so why not this as well?

***

“And cut!” The director yell, and you felt yourself relax a little, as you smiled to your co-star. He was going to play your love interest, and if it wasn’t for the fact that you were in a fake marriage, he could might as well have been in real life too. He was the definition of hot.

“Looks great guys! Let’s take 20 minutes!” You were starting to wonder if all directors yelled this much all the time, or if it was just this one.

“Want something to eat? Maybe actually say hi to some of the others, and you know. Get their real names too” Your co-star smiled at you, and you weren’t slow to agree.

“hi guys!” a dark haired girl said, as you approached. She was going to play your best friend, and from the short time you had talked to her, she seemed pretty nice too.

“Wait. Aren’t you the married one? Like, one half of the hottest couple at the moment?” She asked, before taking a bite of a muffin.

“Guilty as charged” You tried to say with a smile. Couldn’t you just go a day without having to talk about the moron you married?

“Is he really okay with you taking this role? It not really because you’re playing an innocent teenager, and at some point, you’ll have a sex scene with co-star. My boyfriend would die of jealousy. If I had one, that is” She continued.

“Oh. He doesn’t know. I didn’t tell him anything about the role. Besides, just because I’m married to him, doesn’t mean he’ll get a say in my career” You shrug, and grabbed one of the cupcakes on the table.

“Isn’t it super weird being married to someone you barely know? Like, how was the first day of being married?” Co-star asked, eyebrows raised. For a minute, you cursed at Tom. If you weren’t married, you could just flirt away with Co-star, but at the same time, you probably wouldn’t even have the role if it wasn’t for him.

“It’s super strange. I still don’t know if he has any siblings. We actually haven’t talked about our families at all, come to think of it. I know his family is in Europe, but that’s about it. So, there’s always new things to talk about. So yeah. It really odd” You confessed. You had barely mentioned your family to Tom.

“He got 3 brothers. Two of them are twins” The dark-haired girl said, and you looked at her a bit surprised. “What? He’s hot! So naturally I googled him. You’re one lucky girl y/” She continued casually.

“He is hot. And it’s even better when he’s shirtless” You joked, earning a groan from Co-star. “I’ll let you girls talk about the hot husband alone, since it’s a very weird conversation for me” He said, before sneaking away.

“I wanna know everything, starting with the sex” The dark-haired girl demanded, and you couldn’t help but giggle. As much as you hated Tom, you oddly didn’t mind talking about him right now. You also had feeling, you could become friends with this girl.

***

When you got home, you were exhausted. You really didn’t have the energy to unpack, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to go to bed, before you found the box to your bedroom.

When you opened the door, you heard familiar voices. One belonged to Tom, and one belonged to the last person you wanted to see right now. Your mother.

“Y/n! You’re back! Your mum’s here, darling” Tom’s happy voice said, as you walked into your new living room, to find Tom sitting on the couch, next to your mother.

“How… Lovely” You tried to force a smile. This was the last thing you wanted right now. “So how long have you been here, mom? And why exactly are you here?” You tried to sound friendly. You didn’t want Tom to know anything about your troubled relationship with your mother.

“I’m here to meet the new husband of yours! And I’ve spent the last couple of hours getting to know him. He’s quite the catch, and he’ll make some beautiful children too!” Your mother exclaimed, and you noticed how Tom choked on his breath. He was not prepared to hear the last part of that sentence.

“While I’m at it. How is the sex? A marriage is only as good as the sex” She continued. “Mom!” You yelled, completely flustered. “It’s good. Actually, that’s an understatement. It’s amazing. It’s my favourite time of the day” Tom said, and you couldn’t believe your ears. That idiot was even smirking at you.

“Tom! You. No. That’s not. We don’t. no. Oh god” You couldn’t find the words. You tried, but the sentence just wouldn’t form.

“That’s good! And since Tom here, is making enough money for the both of you, you could just stop acting. You could just stay at home, take care of the children” You mother said, making you snap out of the uncomfortable state you had been in.

“Seriously? Do you have to bring that up, every time? I don’t want kids! At least not right now. I just made it mom. I’m about to make my big break, but of course you don’t care. It’s not like you’ve ever been supportive” You asked her frustrated. You saw Tom’s eyes get wide, and how your mother got annoyed.

“You’ve said that for 3 years now. It’s about you grow up! Forget this foolish idea about becoming an actress. Do you have any idea, how many of your friends who are already married, and have children?” It was the same old argument. A year ago it was “How many of your friends are married and pregnant?”.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t aspire to be a trophy wife! I’m sorry that didn’t want to be a young mother, depending on her husband’s money, while living in an extravagant house, while I care more about looking young, than I do taking care of my own kids. And let’s not forget, pretending to be the perfect family, even when everything is falling apart. Caring more about keeping up the perfect image, than try to be an actually family”  

“You’re upbringing was just so hard! Going to fancy parties, getting everything, you ever wanted. I’m so sorry for being a trophy wife, so I could give you a good life. Am I really that bad, for wanting that?” She scuffed at you. You felt like she was scolding you, just like she always did when you were a kid.

“I didn’t want any of that! I wanted a family. I wanted someone to care. I did everything to get you and dad’s attention, but you never even bothered. The police had to get involved, before you asked where I had been. So sure. You were a great mom!” You would never forget your teenage years, and how desperate you had been for them to care.

“Mrs. l/n, maybe you should leave. Y/n has had a long day, and I’m sure she’s just tired. Ehm. So maybe it would just be best for everyone, if you went home” Tom said in a quiet voice.

“Sure. I can see I’m not getting anywhere anyway” Your mother quickly left, and you felt the exhaustion get to you. As soon as the door slammed shut, you felt the tears sting in your eyes. At this point, you were too tired to even care about Tom, so you just let yourself fall down on the couch.

“You okay?” He asked almost sounding worried. You would’ve rolled your eyes, but you didn’t have the energy. “You mum was kind enough to help me unpack all of your stuff. This is no offence to you, but you really are a daughter of a bitch” You couldn’t help but laugh at his words.

“I’m serious! It was the most awkward 2 hours of my life! She kept telling me how I needed to keep you under control, because apparently, you’re a wild one. It was so hard to be nice to her. No offence to your mum, but she’s horrible” He continued, and he actually managed to make you feel better.

“Oh good. You’re smiling. I’m really not good with people crying. I also kinda have somewhere to be, and I would almost feel bed for leaving you when you’re upset” And he was back to being an idiot.

“I was almost starting to worry that you might have become a decent human being” You said sarcastically. In reality, you were so happy that he had actually unpacked for you, and that he tried to cheer you up. But you weren’t about to let him know that. There was no reason to inflate his ego.

“Yeah. You had it rough enough with your mother. There’s no need for me to add to that. I’m not that cruel” He smiled, before getting up from the couch. You were starting to wonder, if he actually was a decent human being.

***

A couple of days had passed. When you got home, Tom would leave. You would leave, before Tom got up in the morning. You hadn’t really spoken that much in the last couple of days.

You had the weekend off. You were starting to become good friends with the rest of the crew, but you were also looking forward to being able to relax. You only had one thing you needed to do this weekend, and you just wanted to get that over with.

For some reason, the director thought it was a genius form of team building, to film a lap dance as one of the first scenes. Sure, you had been filming for 5 days, but it was still so early on. You had given lap dances before, just not sober. So naturally, you wanted to practice it a bit, just to be sure.

When you got inside the apartment, you were relived to find that Tom wasn’t there. You could hear the shower, so without much sound, you grabbed a chair and brought it to your room, and closed the door.

You already knew this was going to be weird. Trying to gather the courage to just get it over with. You turned on some music, still nothing. After spending 10 minutes just starring at the chair, you decided to just take a shot. And then one more, as you waited for the alcohol to set in.

After a couple of minutes, you started to feel it. You let yourself fall into music, and started dancing. You moved your hips to the rhythm, and started to forget everything around you. You lifted your shirt off of your body, as you sat down on the chair, still moving your hips around. There was a knock on the door, but it wasn’t until Tom opened it you registered it.

“What do you want for… oh. You’re…” The door was wide open, and he was leaning on the doorframe. His eyes slowly went down your body, and he had that stupid smirk on his lips. “What exactly are you doing? And. Don’t let me stop you” He bit his lips as he kept looking at you.

“My eyes are up here” You told him, in an annoyed voice. He didn’t care. He didn’t even glance at your eyes, his eyes stuck on your body. “But I’m rehearsing for my role. I have to do this lap dance on Monday, and I’m a bit out of practice.”

“I see. Do you need any help? You know, it might be easier if someone was in the chair” He said calmly. Too calmly for your liking. But you also knew he was right. A person in the chair, would make this a lot easier.

“Fine. But I’ll need another shot” You sighed, as you took a sip from the bottle and handed it to Tom. “We’re not doing this while you’re sober” He wasn’t slow to take the bottle of your hands. He was now looking in your eyes, as he took several sips of the bottle, before putting it down.

“So. Go over the scene”  He demanded, his voice deeper than usual.

“Eh. It’s not really described that much. I’m supposed to just walk close to you. Grab you by the collar” You voice turned into a whisper, as you narrated what you did. With your lips millimetres from his neck. “And then, I’m supposed to do this” You whispered, as you pushed him onto the chair.

None of you said a word, as you got into the dance again. You felt confident, as you felt his eyes on you. A smirk was growing on your lips, as you remembered what he had said to your mother. The sex is amazing.

You took it slow, and when you finally got down on his lap, you could clearly feel the bulge in his pants. You left his lap shortly after, and elegantly managed to get your jeans off, leaving you in just your underwear. When you got back down on his lap, he put his hands around your stomach, pulled you closer, and started kissing you neck.

“I think that’s enough rehearsing for tonight”

TAGLIST: 

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Pretty Little Liars 7x20 Til Death Do Us Part - Thoughts

I literally just finished watching the finale and A-List Wrap party right now. I have not seen a single comment about the finale, I don’t know how it was received, at all. Sorry if these comments are just reinforcing what everyone else has been talking about for the past several hours, because again, I have no idea what everyone is saying. Here are my thoughts! 

- It did not feel like a series finale to me and I cannot pinpoint why. I felt the goodbye scene at the end was not strong enough. Sasha said that they had to keep re-filming that scene because she was crying too much when she said “this feels like the end of something” - well, I think they went with the take that had not enough emotion, to the point it felt like a regular line and it lost its power. Not just this line, but in general, I never got a sense of “farewell PLL” from this episode, unfortunately. Not saying it’s a bad episode, but, I didn’t get that sense of “thank you and goodbye Spencer, Hanna, Aria, Emily, Alison and Rosewood”. 

- Marlene said that there is one question she cannot wait for fans to find out, but she can’t tell us what this question is without telling us who AD is. What the hell could be this question?

- THEY ALL DID THE SHHHHH TOGETHER, I LOVED THAT

- DID ANYONE ELSE NOTICE DURING THE INTRO THAT THE CASKET OPENED, RATHER THAN CLOSE???

- I’ve always said Pretty Little Liars is a two-part show: half a romance show, other half a mystery show. They really demonstrated that tonight, by having almost a very equal divide between the romance and mystery. The entire first hour was romance, and the entire second hour was mystery (plus farewells). The first hour, I was shaking my head. “This is not good. Not good at all.” Sure, there were some cute scenes, like Emison’s proposal, but there was too much fluff in the first half. The second half, it really kicked off. 

- So, my theory ended up being so damn accurate, what the hell! I can’t believe it! Even though Spencer’s twin was my foremost suspect going into the finale, I still ended up being shocked, because of the simple fact that they went with it almost exactly exactly exactly how I said! Not just the who, but also the why! I even got the name Alex Drake! 

- Okay, so I got the part wrong about the twin having helped Charlotte play the game from season 3 onwards. And honestly, that is my biggest complaint about the finale: AD started playing the game after Charlotte died, period. Again this is my biggest complaint and this is where the finale fell flat for me. Technically, PLL could have ended with Charlotte’s reveal in 610. Everything we got with Alex Drake’s story, was purely an extension because we got renewed for more seasons. I just know there will be people saying “ugh I’m so mad that AD has no connection to pre-time jump” and yes I fully agree, and that’s my biggest complaint too… but my response is: weren't the extra 2 years nice? Sure AD is irrelevant to seasons 1-6A, sure that is incredibly underwhelming and no where near as good as the fan theories… but we got an extra 2 years of PLL in our lives because of this extra, final A story? I’m grateful? #alwayslookingforthepositiveside

- I do not understand Ashley’s comment. Quote “you finally get to find out who A is, who’s been torturing us for the last 7 years”. Girl… it was just a month or two, in Rosewood time. 

- Am I the only one who never really felt a sense of danger, or intensity? Weird, since it’s the series finale, and literally anyone could’ve died. It’s not like we had another season, and I knew Spencer was safe from dying. Yet, I never truly did feel like Alex would win the fight. I can’t take PLL villains seriously for some unexplainable reason.

- I really liked the flashbacks that explicitly showed us the scenes where “Spencer” was actually Alex. That was great. I wanted more flashbacks to earlier seasons, however. (I did appreciate that they played some music from the pilot, though!)

- THANK YOU MARLENE for not doing another Charlotte reveal where A sits around crying all episode, trying to make us feel sorry for them. Sure, Alex (nearly said Twincer!) had a sad story, but she embraced her sadness, and it fuelled her anger to take over Spencer’s life. That was really good. I loved seeing Troian walk around with an axe. Bless. 

- I was surprised we didn’t hear of Radley (as a sanitarium). Honestly, thank god.

- I think the motive is the strongest we’ve ever had, of all the A’s so far: Alex was so jealous of Spencer so she wanted to break up the girls, yet her threats only made them closer. Therefore, she decided, “why break them up, if I can just become Spencer?” That is so evil and I love it. 

- I EVEN CALLED IT that there will be a scene where someone holds a gun to Spencer and Twincer, and they have to prove who the real Spencer is. I LOVED that! 

- I have a feeling that once I finish typing this, the first word I’ll be seeing people use to describe the motive is cliche. Especially the above mentioned scene about not knowing which Spencer to shoot. It is a bit cliche. (”I’m Buzz Lightyear!” … “no, I’m Buzz Lightyear!” Toy Story 2.. anyone? That’s where my mind went, lol) An evil, jealous twin is a tad cliche. I can’t defend that. But within this world of PLL, it worked well I guess. 

- Sorry Troian, I wasn’t too convinced by the British accent unfortunately. But my gosh you slayed the rest. WHY COULDN’T WE GET AT LEAST ONE SCENE WITH TROIAN IN THE HOODIE!? That was a real shame. I get that it was set one year later, but… still, Alex should’ve wore the hoodie for a scene or two. For satisfaction’s sake, and it’s also just iconic for PLL. 

- SHOUTOUT TO A FOLLOWER OF MINE WHO MESSAGED ME AFTER THE AIRPORT SCENE IN 715 SAYING THAT TWINCER SOUNDED BRITISH. HOW DID YOU GET THAT PART TOO!? “Are you going someplace?” sounded very British, I agree, but I never picked it until I was told to listen for it. Genius.

- We even got it right as to who Wren was shooting: Twincer, so that she can look like Spencer. Gosh, is there anything we didn’t predict?

- Bethany who? Eddie who? Seriously though, I’m going to spend hours editing my unanswered questions list. We got a lot. You can say whatever you want about the finale, but you can’t say we didn’t get answers. Like, c’mon. If you’re saying we didn’t get answers, you’re the type of person who complains over nothing and is just impossible to please. Every word that came out of Alex’s mouth was golden. We had rapid fire Q&A with Alex and Spencer. I’m not saying this finale answered 7 years worth of questions; I’ll probably find some unanswered things once I start going through my list. But… You. Can. Not. Say. We. Got. Zero. Answers. I hope that when I finish this post, I don’t see people spreading such stupid negativity. 

- Wren died? How? Why? That was unnecessary. This finale really lacked a major death. I wanted to say OMG to at least ONE thing, and unfortunately, I couldn’t. Not one thing shocked me.

- Am I the only one who thought Wren’s involvement seemed a bit forced?? What are the actual odds of Wren running into Alex at a bar in London? Seriously? But whatever. I’m so glad he played a role in this, and a damn big one too. 

- So ALEX was the British person Mary was talking to on the phone in 701!!!

- I loved the scene between Alex and Charlotte!!

- I found it really really random that Alex started messaging Mona 1 year later. They had just moved on and all of a sudden Alex is back to start to reveal herself. Maybe I’m forgetting something because that was just weird.

- I was disappointed that there wasn’t a major reason Alex took Ezra. I was waiting for them to reveal a mind blowing alliance between the two but then it slowly became obvious that he had just been kidnapped and wasn’t on the friendly side with Alex. 

- Melissa’s mask was just pointless. That was pure fan service to MelissA theorists. (And also to throw us off for a bit.) And I knew Melissa wasn’t AD since there’s no way they’d reveal Uber A so randomly at a picnic like that. I knew it was a mask.

- I got dollhouse vibes when Spencer (or Ezra?) said “we’re still underground”. I thought that was creepy!

- Seriously… they make reference to the mums getting out of the basement, without actually giving us an answer??? “Do you remember how we even got out of there?” said Veronica. It would’ve been better to leave that dialogue out completely. Teasing fans over something they’ll never get, is far worse than acting like it was just forgotten. 

- Did Veronica know that Spencer has a twin, since she made a comment in 4B about not knowing who is coming down for breakfast; Spencer or her evil twin? They really made it out as if no one knew about Alex.

- Wren is the father of Emison’s baby!? That was so subtle, the way Alex said it. WHY!? That makes no sense. I’ve noticed that this show is really big on “who” but not so big on the “why”. I’m just going to assume that Wren was the only male she had “access” to, to pull off the stunt, so she used Wren simply out of convenience. That’s all I can think of.

- So Ezria got married, Haleb is having a baby, Emison is engaged with twins, and Spoby is??? I was really really shocked actually that one ship is still left up in the air. It’s not a sad ending, but it’s not happy either. Maybe that’s the one thing that doesn’t get answered that Marlene was talking about.

- That last scene with the recreation of ‘that night’ should NOT have been the last scene of the entire show. If Freeform wants to launch a spinoff, fine, go ahead, but how dare you cut to the end credits after that scene. Call me fussy, but I call it passion. The final scene of the show should have been Mary and Alex stuck in Mona’s dollhouse. Cut to the credits after that closeup on Alex (Which, was brilliant by the way, and aligns with Janel’s comment of Mona having her own unique happy ending.)

- The wrap party was boring. Just saying. It should’ve been the 6 liars (yes Mona too) with Marlene, sitting in Spencer’s barn, talking about the making of the finale, any questions that couldn’t get wrapped up, favourite episodes, etc. I finished the finale and thought “it’s okay, I still have one more chance to farewell the show since the last scene didn’t do it for me!” and nope, this third hour was no better.

- FULL CIRCLE HOW??? Can someone name one thing that happened, that can be classified as “full circle”??? In my mind, full circle means Alison dying and the girls having a sleepover in the barn!?

- Overall, this is how I summarise the finale:

It did not feel like a finale. The first half was boring, even for a series finale. The goodbyes were not strong enough, and I did not feel like I properly said “thank you” and “farewell” to my favourite fictional characters ever. The scene with the girls at the end was far too short. The AD reveal was very predictable for me and other dedicated detectives, but I think other fans across the world will be pleased since it wasn’t actually that obvious. The motive was great. Troian slayed. But, coming from a person who also has a non-rhotic accent (Australian), I felt put off by Alex’s accent. The final scene was just stupid, I’m not watching a spinoff - the final scene should’ve been Mary and Alex. We got a shit ton of answers, but, as I’ll soon see when I go to my list, I don’t feel like it was everything. But absolutely, most things, yes.

In 3 words: slow, predictable, fun. 

Here’s my theory where I correctly solved Alex Drake

Here’s my farewell letter

anonymous asked:

oh god are you one of those people who reads romeo and juliet as a romance rather than a tragedy

I thought I was gonna go to bed early tonight but I guess not

hey friend you just unleashed my nerdy wrath buckle up

short answer: no, I know r&j is a tragedy and I read it as such. Shakespeare didn’t write “romances”, at least not in the sense you mean (some people call his later stuff that’s harder to put into a genre ‘romances’, such as the winter’s tale and the tempest)

so no I’m not a moron thanks

here’s the long answer:

I presume you’re “one of those people” who likes to count themselves as the Specialest Snowflake In All The Land because they don’t buy into the fake cheesy idea of //romance// that everyone else so blindly believes

maybe you like to talk about how romeo and juliet were “just horny teenagers”, how they knew each other for three days, how romeo so loved rosaline thirty seconds before spotting juliet, so clearly he’s fickle and silly. they weren’t actually in love, they were just teenage idiots.
because only stupid girls buy that stuff.
you’re more mature than that.
am I right?

well, here’s the thing, sunshine- you aren’t special. I hear this same damn argument right down to the last word every time I mention my love of this play and it ENRAGES me every time because 99% of the time this is coming from /other teenagers/. other young people talking about how this isn’t a story to be taken SERIOUSLY. it’s silly and frivolous and unrealistic. they don’t realize that this play is dedicated to them.

and it’s criticizing people just like you.

while I do believe that these two young people were soul mates (I’ll get to that later), I don’t really think this is a story about love. it’s a story about /passion/- how love and hate are only a hair’s breadth apart and their overwhelming capacity for healing or for destroying. the emotion that drives mercutio to defend romeo from tybalt. what drives mercutio to be killed at his hand. what pushes formerly docile, dreamy romeo to slay his cousin in law: it all begins to seem like the same continuous passion, enflaming the same group of people on the hottest day of the year.

as a result, love isn’t a pretty thing in this play. it’s linked inextricably to death, to murder, to chaos. love is presented as the most dangerous force in the universe. it leaves five bodies in its wake, and then at the end (people forget this) it’s what finally brings the ancient feud to an end.
it’s not silly. it’s not frivolous. o brawling love, o loving hate.

and who are the conductors of this unstoppable force? who sets verona burning and then rebuilds it better in under a week?


kids.


people with a shitty understanding of this play who love to dismiss it and downplay it like to call it a “cautionary tale”- why you shouldn’t think with your dick, why you should grow up and not be so rash, be sensible.

I agree with part of this. it is a cautionary tale. but it’s directed at YOU.

you, who devalue youth. you, who underestimate teenagers and what they’re capable of, who wave off their every thought or feeling with “just a kid”. who think that love is a pretty little silly thing and that no one under the age of 25 is capable of really experiencing it. that the kids don’t MATTER.

capulet thought it- he dismissed tybalt’s rage during the party as dumb kids throwing a hissy fit. he wrote juliet off as a child who should be seen and not heard, shuffled from her father to her husband, guided by the wisdom of those older and wiser than her.

in the world presented in the play, age has NOTHING to do with wisdom. the adults range from careless (montague) to helpless (lady capulet) to blithering (the nurse). the wisest character, the most eloquent and intelligent one with the most beautiful poetry, is fourteen year old juliet.
(go back and read it. whose speeches are the most beautiful, sophisticated, complex? Juliet’s.)

okay, fine, you say. but they didn’t love each other, they just saw each other and got hot and bothered and wanted to jump the other’s bones! anyway, what about rosaline?!

I’ll address rosaline first:

shakespeare likes making fun of the poets of old (take for instance his “my mistress’ eyes” sonnet, a deliberate parody of the Petrarchan model of frilly love poetry). heres another example in romeo. when we first meet romeo he’s mooning over a girl in the frilliest, stalest, most formulaic verse imaginable. we get the feeling he’s enjoying himself, basking in his misery.

notice, though, that we never see rosaline on stage. she represents romeo’s vague infatuation with the //idea// of love, the pretty image he made up in his head from reading old poems. this not only creates an incredible arc in his character, but makes his love for juliet obviously the real deal by comparison. he meets juliet and his world goes into free fall; he’s rash and violent and impulsive, and the verse that was so stale and ingenuine before shifts into some of the most famous passionate poetry in the english language.
in his first scene, he asks “is love a tender thing?” he falls in love with juliet- REAL love, not the kind in poems- and comes to answer his own question: no. no it fucking isn’t.


but, you say. but they CANT have loved each other! you don’t fall in love just by LOOKING at someone!

yeah, I know you don’t.

but here’s the thing. if you aren’t willing to suspend some modicum of disbelief, you won’t get anything from shakespeare. period.

we’re already assuming that these people just happen to walk around speaking in blank verse and rhyming couplet. the plot of hamlet relies on the existence of a ghost, a midsummer night’s dream on fairies, macbeth on witches, the tempest on magic, measure for measure on the friggin /bed trick/- is it SUCH A HORRIBLE STRETCH FOR YOUR CYNICAL POSTMODERN MIND TO MAKE that characters can identify their soulmates with a look? have we reached that level of lazy cynicism as a society that magical love flowers and vengeful ghosts are believable, where a woman can turn into a boy by shoving a hat over her hair and statues spring to life as deceased loved ones, but love at first sight (a very very common Elizabethan plot device; it’s /everywhere/ in shakespeare) is just too much of a stretch?

no one rolls their eyes at hamlet because “ghosts aren’t real. are you one of those people who believe in ghosts?” no- they take it for the plot device that it is in order to get to the message of the play as a whole, and the truths of the human conditions it reveals, with the help of some purely theatrical elements.

but kids in love. that’s far too silly.


it’s really fucking sad.


and questions like yours, anon? those make me really, really fucking sad.

more than one best friend

El’s first best friend is Mike, but he’s not her last. (In which she finds out who all of her best friends are.)

(read on ao3)

She knows that Mike is her best friend when she’s twelve years old. 

Before he is her boyfriend, her partner, he is her best friend. He is the first person that ever makes her laugh and that is how she knows at first. It’s this burning feeling inside of her to make him do the same- laugh, smile, be happy, anything good in the world, she wants to give to him. 

That’s why when she comes back, for good, she tries to make him as happy as possible. Every time he smiles and looks at her with the same look in his eyes that he always gives her, light and and dark and filled with so much of what she doesn’t know yet, she thinks back to their time apart. It’s there in the back of her mind, his cracking voice calling out to her with desperation for nearly a year, and she tries to push it away as soon as the images come back to her. Because she’s here now. They’re together now and she never wants to see him unhappy ever again. 

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Romeo and Juliet

Originally posted by brefjesuisenllce

Summary: All Y/N and Jeff knew how to do was hate each other because of their parents.  What happens when Jeff’s had enough?

Pairing: Jeff x Reader

Request: Request wherein you and Jeff have like a Romeo and Juliet kinda thing (families hate each other, they hate each other too) until they end up falling for one another somehow, you can play with it how you like! (Just don’t make them die pls) AND Can you do 14 with Jeff?

Warning: N/A

Word Count: 1403

Prompt: “No one can change the past, I can’t change the past.”

A/N Would you all like if I made a masterlist of all of my imagines?

It was your first day of kindergarten and your young age made you excited for school.  Everyone was nice, excited, some sad that their parents were gone, but overall, it was a good day.  Until lunch.  You were sitting down eating what your mother had made you when an older boy sat opposite of you.  You instantly recognized him as the son of your parents’ enemies.  You had no idea why your families hated each other, but when you both saw each other’s faces, you simultaneously stood up walked away from each other.  It didn’t feel right, he looked like a nice person, but with your families, you’d be nothing more than enemies.  At least that’s what you thought.

Your lives have been like this for 10 years.  You were a sophomore, Jeff a senior and the two of you haven’t even tried friendship, but rather threw insults at each other.  Again, neither of you knew why, but it was almost as if you were born to hate each other.  You both kept your distance, until your god forsaken history teacher paired you two up for a project.  Outraged, you both expressed your anger while the class sat back and watched the two of you banter.  It wasn’t until you were threatened with getting a zero on the project did you both suck it up and pout angrily in your respective seats.

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So there’s a thing that happens in every fandom and bothers me in every fandom, and in SKAM I feel like I can go “this specifically is why it bothers me” so I’m going to talk about it for a bit.

That thing is that once an m/m pairing gets to a certain level of popularity, at some point it apparently becomes more or less “widely accepted fanon” that one of them is the more or less (recently more more than less) subby bottom and the other one is the confident top who takes the lead in most/all matters. I don’t know why, but this seems to happen every single time. Apart from how I don’t think that’s representative of most actual m/m relationships, I personally think there’s hardly ever any reason to assign such roles to fictional characters because we hardly ever know anything about their actual sex lives. Often it’s ships who aren’t even canon! There is literally nothing to know! And even when it’s canon ships like Isak and Even, we don’t actually know anything about their sex life! And there’s no necessary correlation between someone’s behaviour outside the bedroom and in it!

So.

Basically, I’m a little bothered by this “Isak is a shy cupcake who never takes the lead and also definitely bottoms” thing that’s been growing so much recently. (Not to say there’s anything wrong with enjoying your smut however you want! If a boy wants to be fucked, he should go get himself fucked and have a great time! My point is just that that should go for all boys and that liking things up your butt isn’t a character trait, it’s a sexual preference.)

Even disregarding that Isak is a seventeen year old boy who is still in the closet when he meets Even and struggles with acting on his true desires because of how he fears it’ll make others perceive him, and has thus never been in a romantic relationship where he felt comfortable and got to explore the physical side in a way that was true to himself (if he did at all) (that is to say, it’s not unlikely he’s a virgin when he meets Even, and even if he isn’t he’s quite obviously way less experienced than Even, who also generally doesn’t seem to give a fuck about what people think about his sexuality), I think there are many instances in the show that establish Isak as a forward, not-at-all-timid person!

Annnnd I’m gonna put this behind a read more because this got seriously long oops

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Then Again, P11  Peter Parker x Reader

Author’s note:

(Here I am, 30 minutes early! Wild!)

Hey guys! Thank you so much to everyone who commented in one form or another last night and today. To everyone else: Y’all aren’t allowed to read this chapter, you didn’t earn it 😉 

All jokes aside, those comments really meant a lot even if they might’ve been slightly forced 😅 I finally got back into the writing groove last night and I’m hoping it lasts!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 12

Without further ado, a slightly longer, Peter P.O.V. chapter:

Then Again, Part 11

Words: (1123)

Standing up, I turn and survey the area by default. Cars are gliding down streets, two workers from the hotel are smoking outside, and the bugs from the trees and lampposts are buzzing and flying without purpose.

Everything is calm, normal, and still. It gives me another dose of hope. I can fix this.

I’m going back and making things right. I’m ready to apologize. Maybe I can salvage this trip, the thing she’s been so excited for. Speaking of which, I’ll definitely need to apologize to Ned and MJ too. The whole team, considering.

I pick up my phone, wondering if I should send her a text so I don’t waste another minute of her being upset or worried while I figure out how to sneak back in the building.

My screen is full of ignored messages.

“Ned: did you just leave? seriously?

“I heard the door. was that you or her?

“MJ said if I can’t hear yelling under the door you’re probably not there. so where are you??

“unless you’re there by yourself.

“but i’ve heard you cry and that’s not you.

“I know my messages are going thru. you’re totally ruining whatever chance you’ve got.

“dude this is like the worst peter parker behavior ever. way worse than ditching me and MJ at that party. she’s seriously upset. you should be there.

“may said you’re still being unreasonable. come on bro. this is the last text I’m sending u.”

The last message is from half a minute ago, half an hour after the previous text.

“DUDE.”

Shit.

It’s like ice water has been poured down my back. I’ve never seen Y/N actually cry over anything. Like sad-scene-in-a-movie cry or just-finished-reading-a-really-good-book cry probably a million times, but nothing real. She’s only quiet if something gets at her. I’m the one who can almost never keep my emotions off the radar. If I could, my eyes and throat wouldn’t still be burning and my face might look less red than my suit. (Not that I have it. Aunt May has it on lockdown at home.) Ned’s right: I should be there. I should have been able to stay with her in the first place to talk this out.

As I picture her in that room, crying alone, I feel my gut drop and my throat itch. This is the worst part of tonight.

Ned is definitely right. Or was, half an hour ago when he dubbed this my worst behavior ever. I have to go back immediately.

Get it together, Peter. You’re Spider-Man.

The whole walk back, I think about how I left her alone and probably more confused and hurt than I was when I stormed out. I’m such a shitty friend. This is exactly why I don’t deserve to be more than that to her. Jogging up the stairwell, I imagine how many people are in this hotel, all concentrated in the area I’m about to enter (though they’ll be stacked above and below and on the side of me), and how if each of them knew how horrible I’ve been, they would probably kick me out. I can’t believe I left her crying.

I pause at the top of the stairs. I take a breath and I open the door.

Quietly with the key Ned and MJ left me, I slip into the room. For the split second it takes me to shut the door, light from the hallway falls over a massive blanket cocoon huddled on the left side of the bed. It’s something she does whenever she’s stressed or anxious. Anytime she has an important paper or project or presentation, she ends up like this the night before it’s due. It helps when she gets headaches too, I think.

You did this, dumbass.

My chest is tightening all over again. I take a few steps forward and kneel beside the bed. I’m semi-prepared. I tug a corner of blanket away from her face and lean in near her ear to whisper.

“Y/N? I know you probably don’t want to see me right now. I just want to say I’m so sorry. I… I’m an idiot. A bona fide moron. If you never want to talk to me, I understand. But if you do, I’ll make it up to you. I’ll be your personal slave for a month. I’ll let you wear the suit whenev- like twice a week. I’ll do anything you want. I’m so sorry I freaked out and messed everything up.”

That wasn’t so hard. I exhale.

Y/N doesn’t respond.

She’s not even awake.

The faint glow from the streetlamps outside and the alarm clock on the nightstand is enough to outline her face in pale red. Not a muscle moved. I’ll say it again tomorrow. More. And I’ll say it better. If I practice a better speech in my head a thousand times, maybe she’ll forgive me. Then we can work on never letting this happen again.

God, I’ve been such a moron.

I stand up and head to the bathroom to get ready for bed. Maybe it’s from trying to talk to her after today, but there’s this numb tingle in my arms somewhere between an itch and restlessness. It reminds me of how weird the first week was after the bite. Like the rest of my body is pushing my skin too far.

I look at the mirror. Shit. If Aunt May were here, she’d probably be freaking about a bit. I look rough. I look like shit.

I shake my head and focus on just getting ready to sleep. As inconvenient as it is, the competition is still tomorrow.

On the sink: my toothbrush, toothpaste, and retainers. Good, right where I left them. My bag…. Not where I left it. It was on a floor. Now… it’s not. It’s not in the bathroom at all. There’s a bag, but not mine. I turn off the light and open the door.

I use my phone to look over the room with dim light. Nothing. I open my messages.

“Ned, did you take my bag by accident?”

Whoosh.

Ned might be asleep now; MJ definitely is. If they have my bag, I don’t have my clothes. I planned on sleeping on the floor, but I really don’t want to be just in my trunks when she wakes up and we talk. That’d be weird.

Buzz.

“Ned: not an accident. MJ’s idea. you’ll be the most vulnerable person in the room and self-conscious enough to feel cornered into a bit of honesty. it might help the mission. it might make you think before you speak.”

Life would be easier if my friends weren’t so smart.

Part 12

Next update: Friday, November 10

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anonymous asked:

rfa, saeran, and V reaction to MC wanting to adopt teenagers since they usually don't get adopted as often as younger kids

(heck yeah I’m here on team adopt older kids and teenagers!!!)

Yoosung

  • at first he doesn’t know if it’s a good idea
  • not because he thinks the teenager would be any trouble, or that the idea itself is flawed
  • he’s just not sure if he’s going to be able to be the father of a teenager right away??
  • MC can’t help but snicker when he spills his worries
    • “wHAT IF THEY ARE GOING THROUGH THEIR REBEL PHASE MC? MC YOU KNOW I CAN’T BERATE MY CHILD WHAT DO I DO IF THEY WANT TO PARTY? WHAT IF THEY WANT TO GO TO A CONCERT AND I DON’T KNOW IF IT’S OK-”
  • seriously, that’s all he’s worried about
  • he knows he’s weak when it comes to his loved ones and he doesn’t think he’ll have enough strenght to berate his new child if they rebel 
  • MC is just, laughing at this point because they know this man will make a great father 
  • after a while, he’s much more calm and ready to talk with MC about the plans- when should they adopt? where could they go? should they start meeting teenagers in adoption right now? and all that important jazz

Jaehee

  • her smile is as wide as her happiness is
  • Jaehee is a pro for adoption of all kinds, especially seeing as she was taken in by her aunt and uncle
  • of course, when MC expresses how sad it makes them to think of all those teenagers thrown about in the adoption system, Jaehee joins in with her feelings too
  • it’s not even a conversation- MC just says it and Jaehee is agreeing by the second
  • Jaehee is usually one for calm planification though, so MC knows that it’ll be ages before the actual adoption takes place
  • because obviously, Jaehee will want to read up on teenager care, adoption care, nearby high schools, the psychological needs of an adopted teenager, and probably any sort of book related on the matter to make sure she’s prepared for everything

Zen

  • at first he’s a bit surprised to hear that
  • when he hears “adopting a child” his mind just tends to picture the typical scene of a couple with a baby in their hands after leaving an orphanage or something
  • he hadn’t ever just wondered what happened to the older kids? he guessed they left, but the more he thinks about it… the less he likes the fact they’re left behind
  • still, he’s a bit hesitant and MC notices it, mainly because he remembers how he was as a teenager
  • and oh boy is he not ready to take care of a teenager like that
  • him and MC end up visiting one of the adoption centers to meet some of the teens for adoption, mostly so Zen can see not everyone was an unruly little shit at age 15 like he was
  • once at home, Zen starts wondering about the future- he’ll skip through all the baby care, the raising… and he doesn’t really mind. MC seems happy, and honestly, just that is enough to tell him it is the correct decision

Jumin

  • his heart is split in two
  • one side says he doesn’t mind, he really doesn’t care that MC wants to adopt and he’ll gladly go along, and that he’s happy as long as MC is
  • the other half screams that his father will be unhappy, that of course someone like his father wants a flesh and blood grandchild, and that this might just tear apart his father’s patience
  • MC notices he’s worried, and for a second they think he might dislike the idea of adopting a teenager
  • Jumin opens up rather easily, maybe because he’s spent so much time with MC, about why he worries his father won’t like the fact he’ll get a teenage grandchild like that
  • after talking for a while, Jumin decides to simply think it through- he and MC can tell his father after everything is done, and frankly, as long as neither him or MC mind adopting an older child, who cares?
  • it’s not easy for him to adopt the “it’s our choice” mentality (after all, his father had been asking for a grandchild since Jumin was about twenty, and had always been there to add his opinion to most of Jumin’s big life choices) but once he does, his worries melt away

707

  • Seven is a bit serious when it comes to the topic of children- not because he feels like it’s worrying, but because he feels like if it’s something important to MC, he shouldn’t joke around it too much
  • really, Seven is ready for whatever. MC wants children? he’s happy with that. MC wants no children? he’s more than ok with that. MC wants twenty kids? a-ok by him. 
  • so MC wants to adopt a teenager? he’s more than happy to cheer along
  • he just feels like his life is now complete with MC by his side, and whatever happens afterwards with them will be filled with happiness no matter what
  • and if that is by adopting a teenager, then he’s more than happy to proceed with that plan
  • he can’t help but crack a joke about it here and there, though- such as how he’s going to make the poor teenager’s life a mess by throwing in dad jokes 24/7 at them, or how he’s planning on driving them to high school in the most ridiculously expensive sports cars he owns to make their classmates think they’re the child of a multimillionaire
  • which, y’know, taking in count how much money Seven has, is kinda right

Unknown

  • one of his fears, that he hardly ever expresses, is accidentally harming a child- even more so if it were his child
  • MC had mentioned adoption before, and he hadn’t minded much; the idea of adopting was natural to him? he’d never quite understood why people would say things like “they want it to be their child” when speaking against adoption
  • and fairly, teenage adoption seems more…easy, in a sense
  • MC warns him that it’ll be a bit difficult- and that the teenager might be a bit awkward at first around them, or might rebel a bit, but he knows he can handle that
  • secondly, he knows that at least with a teenager he doesn’t run the risk of accidentally dropping them and hurting them when trying to play with them
  • and as an added bonus, nobody would judge the teen’s clothes if they went through an emo phase. because. one of their parents is already a Big Emo so

V

  • after everything he and MC have been through, it’s easy to talk about anything with him
  • maybe it’s that or his naturally calming aura that make MC pretty chill with the whole telling him and seeing what he thinks
  • V listens to all of MC’s points, about why they think adopting a teenager would be good, and about why it’s harder for teenagers to get adopted, along with other benefits, as V listens carefully
  • he nods along and hums in agreement, not interrupting MC
  • once they’re done, MC looks at him, waiting for an answer
  • he just smiles, and asks MC if they have a plan or a set date when they’d like to begin the process
  • he just jumps head-first into it, ready to go along with it 
  • he’s also pretty excited to take a family photo- but he says he wants to wait to actually adopt so he knows what kind of scenery or aesthetic the teenager would like for the photo, so he waits before making the arrangements
Bittersweet

» Part three

He says, “Oh, baby girl, don’t get cut on my edges
I’m the king of everything and oh, my tongue is a weapon
There’s a light in the crack that’s separating your thighs
And if you wanna go to heaven you should fuck me tonight.”

Author: amsimaria
Word count: 6,1K
Feature: Jimin x Reader (mentions of other BTS members)
Genre: Angst/Slight smut (Rated M)
Warnings: Gore, Violence, Mentions of sexual acts, Punk Jimin, Depression, Slight misogyny, Swearing, Alcohol abuse, Slight Smut, Mental illness. 

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My thoughts about episode 7x25

This episode. Oh, my God, this episode.

I searched “emotional roller coaster” on the Merriam Webster dictionary and this whole episode was there. 

Amazing, painful, heartbreaking, heartwarming. It leaves you full of fear and yet full of hope.

It’s an episode that literally oozes love out of every frame.

I will start talking about Steve and Danny, because I have so many things to say about them…

I loved how Steve shows up in Danny’s office as soon as he arrives, like he was impatiently waiting to show him his gift. How sweet can this man be? Same goes for Danny, so protective of Steve, constantly worrying about him, constantly checking – silently or explicitly – how he is. This scene is loaded with hints that foreshadow what will come later in the episode, it’s like Danny can’t help but feel something is wrong, and we start feeling the same way: the acting, the way the episode is built make you feel that way and it gets stronger and stronger minute by minute, and it’s so gut wrenching.

Plus, the way Danny and Steve act around Charlie is adorable. The way they look like a married couple, obviously, but – even more than that, if possible – the way they protect him, talking in code about Rachel and Stan’s divorce, because this little guy has been through so much already… To think they both were there the day Charlie was born, looking at him through the glass, loving him already even if they didn’t know yet he was Danny’s child… it makes me emotional.

And what about that scene in the car, when Steve starts talking about Rachel, out of nowhere, as if it’s something he can’t help thinking about… he’s worried, maybe even angry. He’s bitter, he’s jealous, most of all he’s still the man who, back in season one, told Danny: ““I don’t want you to get hurt. Okay? I just want you to be happy, Danny. That’s all”. 

Steve tries to joke – he tries so hard, how painful is that? – and says “if you ain’t got nothing nice and positive to say, keep your hole shut … unless you’re “talking” to your ex-wife”. He knows that Danny, out of his good heart – too good sometimes – is trying to put under the rug all the bad things Rachel did to him, but … they’re just under the rug, they’re still there, they can’t be ignored, or he’s going to suffer again, to be manipulated and walked over, again!

And so Steve says it, honestly… “I don’t think this thing with you and Rachel is a healthy thing”. It’s not healthy, he says. I think it’s a very meaningful choice of words. Both Steve and Danny have been dealing with toxic relationships that sucked the joy out of their lives and I hope with all my heart they’re done with those relationships for good. Please, let these guys be finally, truly happy, please let them heal each other’s heart with the love they have for each other. They deserve that.

What about Steve telling Danny “I know that I’m out of my mind, but I also know that you’re in love with your ex-wife […] you got a shot to make things right”? First of all, Rachel was the one who put Danny through hell with her constant threats of taking Grace away from him and not letting him see her and then lying to him for three years about Charlie, so it’s really not up to Danny to make things right, he didn’t do anything wrong, he was a victim! 

And I think that what we have here it’s Steve voicing his worst fears in the hope that Danny will prove him wrong. And I so hope Danny will prove him wrong. I believe he will prove him wrong. He already told Steve “you’re out of your mind” for thinking he might be still in love with Rachel and I think he was being honest, I think he’s just being civil and kind with her, he’s tired of fighting, he doesn’t want that for himself and most of all he doesn’t want that for his kids. I hope I’m not wrong.

Then Danny sees Steve taking some pills and his alarm bells start ringing, but his focus shifts on trying to talk Steve out of risking his life pulling probably the most dangerous stunt he has every pulled.

And just moments before Steve jumps, risking his life, the writers start working a whole new kind of magic, in my opinion, giving us some of the most subtle and yet most romantic and emotional moments I’ve ever seen.

How? The chef’s hat. Yes, the chef’s hat. I really believe they masterfully wrote some of the best, most touching declarations of love ever to be heard, just playing with words around that chef’s hat.

Even if he’s trying to pretend he’s not scared of the consequences of that jump, Steve knows that it could go horribly wrong. He didn’t want Danny to open the gift when he wasn’t there and now, thinking that jump could kill him, he needs to tell Danny those words before it could be too late.

Chef’s hat”, he says. Meaning: there‘s nothing I care about more than you, more than your happiness and your dreams, because I love you. 

And Danny understands what Steve means, he promises him he will be there when he’ll open his restaurant (when they’ll open their restaurant?) and, later, he says: “thank you for the hat, seriously”. Meaning: thank you for loving me the way you love me. And Steve closes his eyes for a moment and then says “You’re welcome, seriously”. Don’t tell me that wasn’t a “I’m in love with you”, because it was. I’m so sure it was.

And I obviously loved that adorable scene with them walking away together, holding each other, talking about Steve’s feelings and how the last thing on Earth Danny wants to do is hurt Steve’s feelings. The way these two guys cherish and love each other is so beautiful and it warms my heart.

And then… oh my God, my poor heart bled seeing Steve so tired, so pale, so scared… call me crazy, call me stupid, but I worry about him even if I know he’s just a fictional character… it makes me cry to see how he tries to minimize, how he tried to keep things for himself, to hide his health issues.. but he couldn’t hide from Danny, because Danny wouldn’t let him. 

Life made Steve believe that he was undeserving of love, that there always was someone or something more important than him, someone or something that made people walk away from him, and now that he needs love more than ever, now that he needs someone next to him more than ever, he tries to hide it… but Danny won’t let him. 

It broke my heart to see the look in Danny’s eyes, to see him so lost at the mere thought of Steve being sick. I so hope, with all my heart, there will soon be… I don’t know, another doctor’s opinion, something that will take this terrible sword hanging over their heads away from them. 

One thing I’m sure of is that Steve and Danny will be together through all of this, and together they can face and overcome everything. Danny will show Steve how deserving of love, how important he is, how much he needs him and can’t even imagine a life without him. More than ever, Steve needs to be loved, to feel indispensable for someone, and Danny will be there reminding that he is, every step of the way.

I talked a lot about Steve and Danny, for obvious reasons, but there was so much else to be loved in this episode.

Abby and Chin, their sizzling chemistry and their growing love for each other.

The party to celebrate Jerry getting his badge… it was so endearing to see him so happy because these people love him. He was so lonely when we met him back in season 4 and now he really has a big family.

That super sweet scene with Kono and Sara at the market, Sara being absolutely adorable and Kono buying a pregnancy test… a moment that sheds an even more meaningful light to many other moments in the episode… her scene with Moani, that chilling, heartbreaking moment where she found that doll in the girls’ room, the talk she has with Lou about being a parent … I loved, so much, what she told Lou: “I could feel them in that room. Their pain and trauma. The fear they went to bed with every night”, because it was my same feeling watching that scene. She wants to make the world a better, safer place for these girls and thinking she might be pregnant makes that purpose even stronger, even more urgent. And I know she will succeed, she’s a force of nature, so compassionate, so strong, so brave. I hope we will get to see her fighting this horrible crime, but I also hope she will be back in Hawaii soon. Maybe, and hopefully, the two things aren’t incompatible. Her Ohana - and we - needs her.

As I wrote when I started with this review, this episode leaves you full of fear and yet full of hope. I will hold on to that hope that makes me believe that these people will get the happiness they deserve. Steve will be fine. Kono will succeed in making the world that better place she desperately needs right now. And true love will conquer all, because today, more than ever before, I’m sure that Steve and Danny share the purest and truest love of all.

Thank you for this episode and for all the emotions!

2

There are literally so many thoughts whirring through my head I don’t know what to think anymore. Beware of the long, super messy rant under the cut. I think I’ve officially gone insane, I fell off my goddamn bed screaming bloody murder the second I saw this picture. Byeeeeeee

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3

PIX L-R: me 2005, 2010, 2017

A kinda detailed (yet incomplete) timeline of my coming outs, cause even thou I’m under 30 I sometimes feel like a queer elder cause so much has changed for me personally, within the queer scene and in society in the past 16 years since I first came out as queer.

I first came out about being into girls when I was 13, it was 2001 and things such as “you’re too young to know”, “you haven’t given boys a chance” and “it’s a phase” were the norm so the possibility that someone my age in Western Sydney could be gay just wasn’t a thing so I figured I was bi. The first time I made out with a girl was when I was 14, it was in the gutter outside a party, I wasn’t really into her but we both were into girls… so ya know… who else were we meant to make out with? At 14 I also saw But I’m a Cheerleader for the first time.

When I was 15&16 I had a girlfriend for 9 months, she identified as straight and our relationship was a secret (as per her request, not mine). My mum thou found our love letters when I was 15 and so she started to take my gayness more seriously (but still didn’t become ok with it til I was 18).

At 16 I discovered riot grrrl and queercore and started to meet other gay, queer and dyke punx.

When I was 17, in my final year of high school (2005) I publicly and openly started identifying as a lesbian/dyke. I’d been out about liking girls since the 8th grade but I’d never used the lesbian label for myself before (I’d received a lot of homophobic bullying  so it didn’t feel like a safe option for a few years).

When I was 19 I stopped using the term lesbian and started identifying as a ~stone femme dyke~ and queer started to mean something more than just an umbrella term, it had a new importance to me in that it didn’t assume my gender. At this age I also met trans people for the first time to my knowledge, prior to that my only exposure to out trans people was on Jerry Springer.

When I was 20 (in 2008) i wrote a piece for a zine, the piece was titled ‘FTF : Female to Femme’. Now, this would be very out dated these days but what you need to understand if you were not part of queer scenes in 2008 is that terms such as transfemme, transmasc and no binary did not exist. “FTM” and “MTF” were considered in 2008, at least in Australia as being PC and progressive within radical queer scenes and the chosen identifying terminology by many trans people. Also all the transguys I had ever met or even heard of were all very masc then.

Anyway the FTF piece was about how I related to transguys in the sense that I didn’t see myself or feel like I was female despite being assigned that at birth and I experienced dysphoria but I wasn’t at all masculine, I dressed high femme and strongly identified with girl culture and girly things. So i was trying to say that my gender wasn’t female but was instead femme, which was again at the time the only way I could explain it. Remember the gender spectrum, gender non conforming and non binary where not formed concepts then, but genderqueer was a thing, however my exposure to it had always been it associated with masculine or androgynous people and my understanding was that you either had “no gender” or were “both genders” which wasn’t me.

In 2009 when I was 21 I started coming out to people as a transboy, after years of internal thinking I’d realised that despite not being masc at all I still was male and that there are cis guys who are very feminine and that doesn’t de validate their gender. I came to this understanding months before I told anyone because I knew I had to be very certain and confident in who I am as a lot of people would either not believe me, expect me to change the way I dressed and acted or give me shit for it, all of which did happen once I started coming out. A big frustration for me at the time was also that I had lots of friends who were practicing artists but no one saw me as an artist, it annoyed me cause I felt like everyday I was dressing in drag and playing into a drag persona to some extent but no one could see it.

I texted my friends in January 2010 about my name change and pronoun change however I was very apologetic as I’m shy and don’t like to bother people, so it took me years to be ok with correcting friends who misgendered me. In Feb of 2010 I came out to my mum as a transboy, which I wasn’t planning but it happen  when telling her about this transguy I was dating at the time, anyway the rest is a very personal shit show, it took her years but she is now so amazing.
Early January 2010 I started wearing a binder and wore it every single day til I had top surgery in 2016.

Despite being out as trans for almost a year when I first went to the USA inthe summer of 2010 I didn’t tell a lot of people I met there that I was trans, was male or used he pronouns as I just wanted to have fun and couldn’t deal with the anxiety of coming out to people I didn’t know or trust yet. I even at first would introduce myself as my old ~teen zine name~ cause I couldn’t deal. So the following year I had to do another before round of coming out emails lol but fml.

Anyway I’ll stop there, it’s 2017, I’m 29, I’m bisexual/queer and I’m a guy who is effeminate and happens to be trans but my actual identity lies in other stuff that I think better inform who I am, what I like and what matters to me and not just boring gender lol, more on that another time.