seriously it's supposed to say homes

BTS as Sugar Daddies

Seokjin

  • v v luxurious 
  • Takes you to very fancy restaurants 
  • always has you well fed 
  • always giving you roses
  • whether he is having a bouquet shipped to your house while he's away or coming home with a rose in his hand 
  • buys you expensive perfumes
  • calls you ‘princess’ or ‘darling’
  • likes when you call him ‘sir’

Namjoon

  • Likes to take you clothes shopping and buys you a shit ton of clothes
  • loves to see your face light up when you see something you love 
  • lots of lap dances 
  • even has a playlist of songs 
  • loves to spank you 
  • likes when you call him ‘daddy’
  • calls you ‘babygirl’

Yoongi

  • loves to travel with you
  • gets you everything you want/need without you telling him
  • loves you in red lingerie
  • LOVES to see you with the kitten ears and the collar he bought for you 
  • especially when he's stressed you are his stress relief
  • always holding your hand and kissing your knuckles 
  • likes to punish you whenever you mouth off to him
  • calls you ‘kitten’ or ‘sweetheart’
  • likes it when you call him ‘sir’ or ‘daddy’   

Hoseok

  • buys you millions of plushies
  • all because they reminded him of you
  • buys you these extravagant dresses that hug your curves nicely
  • and of course beautiful diamond accessories to match
  • and also beautiful heels to match
  • calls you ‘love’ or ‘sweetheart’
  • likes when you call him ‘daddy’ or ‘oppa’ but it doesn't really matter

Jimin

  • so so soft
  • you could ask for the sun and he would get it for you
  • but like seriously he wants the best things for you
  • would randomly send you gifts
  • like you guys would be texting and he would be like ‘check your doorstep’
  • then he wants you to send pictures of your with your gifts especially the lingerie
  • calls you ‘doll’ or ‘angel’
  • likes ‘daddy’

Taehyung

  • ALWAYS GOT YOU IN GUCCI !!
  • like seriously 
  • spontaneous trips
  • will buy you a puppy or 5
  • random texts when he's horny
  • will spank you 
  • calls you “kitten’ or ‘baby’
  • loves  ‘daddy’

Jungkook

  • very playful
  • like he’ll buy you something but take it back and hold it over your head until he hears ‘Thank you 
  • “Uh-uh what are you supposed to say, baby”
  • always comes home with a bag in his hand
  • most of the time its lingerie or toys 
  • then he’ll want you to put on a lil show for him
  • calls you his little princess/prince 
  • prefers daddy
100 Prompts of Horror (Part 1)

(Requested by Anonymous)


1-50:

1. “Did you see its teeth?”

2. “Don’t stop running!”

3. “I dare you to look inside.”

4. “Oh, God–what’s that smell? I’m gonna be sick!”

5. “D-don’t come any closer! I have a gun and I’m not afraid to use it!”

6. “I’m infected–stay back.”

7. “Wow–those things are ugly. How is anyone even afraid of them when they look so goofy?”

8. “You should be very afraid. If you aren’t, you’re either brave or very, very stupid.”

9. “Either way, you die.”

10. “Can someone please remind me why I let any of you talk me into this?”

11. “Holy shit! Was that an actual ghost?!”

12. “It bit me! Oh, God–am I gonna die?!”

13. “Where the hell is it?! I can hear it but I don’t see anything!”

14. “The legend says that it only goes after virgins. Sucks for you.”

15. “I’m telling you–I know what I saw! It had yellow eyes and claws as long as its legs!”

16. “How am I supposed to hide from it if it can read my thoughts?!”

17. “We’re not getting out of this alive, are we?”

18. “I knew I should’ve just stayed home!”

19. “It’s so cold all of a sudden.”

20. “You seriously forgot the salt? How are you just realizing this now?!”

21. “I think I’m going crazy.”

22. “Something just touched my foot, dude!”

23. “Aw–hell no! I’m getting out of here! If any of you idiots decide to stay, it was nice knowing you.”

24. “I’m sorry? You’re telling me you’re supposed to be the Devil? … Funny, you look nothing like I’d imagined.”

25. “All it will cost you is your soul.”

26. “Every time I close my eyes I can still see her face … bloody; pale. Screaming–always screaming.”

27. “I haven’t slept in a week. It won’t let me.”

28. “Please don’t leave me alone!”

29. “Someone’s been watching the house for the past two hours.”

30. “I think that guy’s following us . . . Wait, where’d he go?”

31. “Oh, shit–you didn’t touch that, did you?!”

32. “They say to this day you can still hear the roar of the fire and the children screaming for help.”

33. “That thing just swallowed a person whole! And you’re going after it with a knife?!”

34. “You’re not real–none of this is real.”

35. “Did you hear that? Shh–listen!”

36. “We don’t stand a chance against that thing.”

37. “Where did everyone go?”

38. “Why is it so quiet? There aren’t even crickets chirping.”

39. “I told you I didn’t like the look of that painting!”

40. “Do you really have that little to no sense of self-preservation?”

41. “It was either me or them–and I chose me.”

42. “They’re in your head! Don’t listen to them!”

43. “It’s right behind me, isn’t it?”

44. “Ack! M-my hand–it has my hand!”

45. “Look–see? There’s nothing in your clos– … Holy shit.”

46. “Someone’s watching us–can’t you feel it?”

47. “I see … death, in your future. Painful; bloody.”

48. “This is hell?”

49. “W-why are your eyes glowing like that?”

50. “That’s not me–don’t trust that thing! It’s an imposter!”

4 Reasons Why “The Amazing World Of Gumball” Is The Best Cartoon You Will Ever See...Ever

   This show is more than a show, it’s an animated masterpiece that out shines anything in the same genre. Now I know you’re probably thinking that that is a huge statement to make, or that I’m out right disrespectful for thinking that this show is better than the beloved Looney Toons, Ed Edd and Eddy, and even the likes of Courage the Cowardly Dog. But after I make my case, it’s going to be hard to disagree. So, let’s begin.

1.       It’s Ridiculously Hilarious

    By far, it’s the funniest cartoon on the air right now as it completely eclipses anything else on Cartoon Network, or any other station for that matter. This show doesn’t just do one style of humor and delivering jokes but it utilizes a full arsenal of range, from dry humor, to the over the top whacky stunts, and my personal favorite, taking phrases and using them literally. One of the best examples by far is when Gumball becomes a literal social justice warrior to create this gut wrenching moment. To be completely honest, every episode has had at least one moment that I have quite literally laughed out loud. I can’t truly get the point across about how funny this show is with just words, you just have to dive into anyone of its hysterical episodes.

2.       Superb Characters

   The show also does an amazing job at giving every key character enough screen time to carry the comedy of the episodes. Although gumball is the main character and undoubtedly gets most of the shine, his brother Darwin delivers almost as much of the punchlines and has worked his way to be my favorite character in the show. Each character has their own personality that varies enough to establish their own unique style of portraying humor. You have Darwin, who is the biggest sweetheart you will ever meet, who is portrayed as naïve and extremely gentle and polite. His comedy usually takes form from him simply not knowing the nuance of the situations he finds himself in, or him literally trying to hug his way out of danger. Richard (Gumball’s dad) who is a stay at home dad, truly gives the term simply minded a new definition. As you might have guessed it, Richard is constantly doing something outrageous and incredibly silly. Nicole (Gumball’s mom) who is the backbone of the family and household. She is shown as a loving and supportive, with the patience of a saint, but when she has had enough, she releases what only can be described as the fury of mother unto anything or one in her path. And finally, we have Anais, the youngest of the family and by far the most intelligent. Her character keeps me entertained by how she has no time for Gumball and Darwin’s stupidity.

3.       Great Animation

   If you call yourself a fan of the animation genre, then welcome to your new home. This series shows us how animation is supposed to be used. Like seriously it’s the holy grail of animation, any form of animation you might want to see, its represented one time or another throughout the series. You want some classic 2D action, Gumball got you! You need that crispy CGI? Say no more they got that to. You aching for some anime? They got a whole anime fight scene cuz, rest easy it’s here. This show will undoubtedly give you a new-found appreciation of the animation art form.

4.       It’s Extremely Creative

   If I’m being completely honest, I think the creators of Gumball might have taken one to many acid trips, in order to create something so colorful with huge diversification in animation. But whatever got them to the creative space necessary to come up with Gumball, they need to keep doing it because the result is something spectacular. Creativity just oozes from every scene in the series, from the character designs, to the animation styles, and the use of breaking the forth wall. The Amazing World of Gumball is more than a few steps ahead of any other comedic cartoon. Gumball who is a 2D cat, literally goes to school with a 3d T-Rex, a cloud, a slice of toast, an ice-cream cone, a balloon, and a robot, whom all are sentient and self-aware. And that’s just a few of his insane classmates. The interplay between all of these diverse characters, creates situations and comedic opportunities that I haven’t seen utilized anywhere else in television. A funny example of this is when Bobert (the robot I mentioned before) starts to malfunction, so he gets sent to the nurse (who is a live Band-Aid). But the nurse complains that she can’t help him because she isn’t a mechanic. Scenes like this highlight the creative genius that’s behind this show.

   If I haven’t convinced you that The Amazing World of Gumball is the best cartoon out there, then I at least hope that I got you interested in the show. Although I truly believe if you take the time to watch a few episodes, you will be just as hooked as I am. So hop on Hulu, OnDemand, or whatever platflorm of your choice and prepare to be entertained

American High School Sports AU!Moonbin
  • he’s a fast runner and has deadly accuracy so
  • perfect combo
  • star forward AF
  • center AF too
  • the school’s soccer team isn’t really popular or well known until Moon Bin joins it
  • it’s actually really really bad
  • until this kid who’s being scouted by national clubs comes in freshman year and BAM
  • you guys have the best team in the district because apparently all you needed was a good center
  • the other sucky ass one was graduating so that was good too
  • having somebody as good as Bin boosts the morale of the team and they start actually winning games and shit
  • you along with the rest of the school are really shocked
  • sometimes you’ll see him in the halls with his friends and you have the urge to congratulate him (mainly to get close to his face) but you swallow it because hes super popular and you tend to lay pretty low
  • but one day he comes up to you after math class, which you have together
  • “i didn’t understand this, and you’re good at math, and if i get another bad grade i could get kicked off the team, so if you could tutor me”
  • hes not getting bad grades
  • hell he understands the concept perfectly
  • he just wants to get close to you
  • you find yourself agreeing because why not and the two of you meet up in the library a week later
  • Bin tells himself that he will totally confess that he thinks you’re cute and doesn’t need math tutoring but he gets tongue tied and you’re both red 
  • you slave through an hour of math together when neither of you need help clearing the concepts
  • *sigh*
  • the things you do for love
  • but after a few more unneeded tutoring sessions he gathers up the courage (finally!!!!)
  • and asks you if you want free tix to the state championship soccer game
  • you contemplated for a second because shit you literally know nothing about soccer except for that the god in front of you is A++++ at it
  • but he seems like he really wants you there and well they’re free so you end up thanking him and saying he’ll see you there 
  • you miss it but when he leaves he’s red and he yells “YES!” really loudly a few blocks away
  • cliche af bin cliche
  • but anyways fast forward a few weeks and youre all dressed up in your school colors for the big game a few hours away and you’re ready to catch the bus to watch it but you get a text
  • from Bin ofc
  • “i’m going a little bit earlier than the rest of the team to check out the field and get in my element alone, i can drive you if you need”
  • you really don’t wanna get on the bus and hey, a car ride from Bin is free so you say “yeah ofc” and give him your address and a few minutes later you’re in the passenger seat of your crush’s car
  • pull game strong 
  • you both keep silent until he hits this red light like ten minutes away from the field and he randomly goes “i know all the math, I just wanted to talk to you so I had you tutor me” and you’re like ‘waiT WHAT” but the light turns green and you’re speeding down the road in his convertible
  • the wind is too loud so you can’t say anything or hear anything until the next red light when you say “I like you too” and its his turn to go “seriOUSLY”
  • you can’t talk until you reach the field and you’re both red
  • he parks the car and you guys go in, you handing in your ticket like an hour before the actual game is supposed to start
  • while he changes into his jersey you sit in the bleachers and wait and eventually watch as he jogs a little bit, trying to feel at home in the foreign field
  • eventually he stops his warm up and jogs up into the bleachers to sit next to you
  • “you’ll cheer for me when we play, right?”
  • “I’ll be louder than anyone”
  • he kisses your cheek and just sits there next to you in comfortable silence until the other players and people start arriving
  • you softly wish him good luck, and then he’s running down to the field, ready to play his heart out 
  • they win, with Bin scoring the winning goal 
  • later on he says he only won because of how loud you were cheering but you say it’s because he’s amazing
  • it doesn’t matter, because the best part of the game was the hours you spent together after it, sitting in a fast food restaurant, laughing and talking and stealing shy kisses, smiles never leaving your faces

( @barristabin taught me shit on soccer which is why I was able to write this so kudos to cassies assies !!)

anonymous asked:

Zayn was at Gigi's dad's house tonight for an early Christmas thing lol you can hear him in the background of Bella's snapchat he says "sorry?" And Mohammed says "pleasure to meet you" and Zayn says "pleasure to meet you too" and then laughs (it's clearly his laugh) so I hope this means theyre not going to aspen and he can spend actual Christmas at home crossing my fingers. twitter(.)com/hadidnews/status/811765817327095808

Suh wait. Let me see if I’ve got this right - Gigith and Zayn are supposed to have been seriously dating for over a year now, and Zayn’s only just meeting Gigith’s dad NOW? 

Stunt interns: if you’re gonna do this, please at least take this sage advice:

you know something

This year, the Berlin Wall will have been down for longer than half Till’s total lifetime - for the first time.

He was 26 years old when the Wall fell in 1989. The Wall will have been down 27 years in full on the ninth of November this year, and as we know, he’s going to be 53 very soon. From now on, more of his lived life would have been in the unified West/East Germany.

And of course the other bandmates don’t have long before they catch up.
I don’t know. This isn’t that special of an observation or anything. It’s just a bit of a strange thing to think about

My Review Of Pitchfork.com's INDIE 500 Review

    In the first sentence of Pitchfork.com’s review of INDIE 500, a reviewer who is associated with music review site rhapsody.com writes abut how I criticize and then distance myself from celebrity straw men with the line “celebrities be making money on the powerless, their silence in the face of injustice is just cowardice.” He then goes on to suggest that I myself could be viewed as one of the these celebrities that I am critiquing because I “visit eateries with Anthony Bourdain, debate politics with Bill Maher and engage in public arguments like the one with Don Lemon.” As if to suggest I do these things strictly for celebrity currency and not on my own terms. What this reviewer fails to mention is that Bourdain had me on the last episode of No Reservations because it was set in Brooklyn, and I rep the borough well. I was invited to Bill Maher show not because I don’t speak up against injustice, but precisely because I do. I didn’t call Don Lemon out about CNN’s Ferguson coverage from CNN’s New York headquarters, I did it live from Ferguson Missouri. At night before the cameras showed up I got  chased by police carrying tear gas, I was face down with a rifle in my back, not in some truck safe with Don Lemon somewhere.
    What the reviewer fails to mention in the first paragraph alone give me reason to be suspicious of this review. I understand reviews must be concise but to say I can be viewed as a “celebrity straw man” and list things like my argument with Lemon as proof, but neglect to mention the argument took place in Ferguson, not in some cushy studio, is purposefully leaving out important context in an attempt to make a very weak point stronger. The reviewer clearly sees me as this “celebrity straw man” regardless of the reality the evidence suggests. This makes me realize this review will have some taint. The reviewer seems to think an artist cannot be as well known as I am and still completely connected to grassroots activism. He is incorrect. There are artists nowhere near as connected to grassroots organizing as I am, but who still use their voice for good. Does this make them disingenuous or “straw men?” I don’t agree with that.
    In the second paragraph of the review, the reviewer, Mosi Reeves, writes “the album title seems to be repurposed from the Indie 5000 parties that briefly flourished in 90’s New York during the Rawkus/Fondle Em years” and then writes “sadly” there are no appearances by Moodswingas or Juggaknots here.” First, no. While I appreciate this showing off of obscure hip hop scenester knowledge, this is incorrect, nor does it “seem” like that’s what we were trying to do. This sentence “seems’ to be here purely to show the reader how long the reviewer has been doing this for. Even though I’m a fan of MoodSwingers and Juggaknots, I also see no reason to be “sad” they are not on an album they clearly had nothing to do with, especially when you have folks like NIKO IS, Problem, Bad Lucc, Rapsody, GQ, Halo, MK Asante, Planet Asia, K’Valentine, Slug and Brother Ali all turning in what are in my opinion, stellar performances.
    I was pleased that Mosi Reeves recognized my commitment (his word) to culture and jessica Care moore’s powerful poem at the end of These Waters. After this, Mosi goes on to write how INDIE 500 “loses focus” but is not really able to articulate why he felt that way. His examples? He says Pay Ya Dues lacks “competitive tension, but is a nice display of the trio’s lyrical skills.” Well Mosi, that was the point of the song. Mosi then describes my “humble brags” on Lo -Fi as “perfunctory.” But again, he misses context. Taking the line “promoters will walk me right to a table and be like this is your spread” completely out of context to satisfy an indefensible point comes off as very insincere. For context, here is are the rest of the bars-

“Pull up to any club on a moped with some dirty ass Pro-Keds looking lo res
The bouncer be like go head
Promoters will walk me right to a table and be like this is your spread
surrounded by the dope and the coke heads burning candles at both ends”

    How is this a humble brag? It’s not. It’s a slightly self deprecating critique of the ridiculous pretentiousness of velvet rope club culture, not a brag about how I pop bottles in the club. Had the writer not lifted one bar out of context for the sake of turning in a quick review, he might have caught that. This illustrates a larger problem in blog reviews of art that people put their heart and soul into. Blogs are trying to keep the eyes, literally by the second. This means constant, non stop content and reviews of pieces of art that are lauded for being first, not fair. How could a writer, any writer, take in an album that took us a year or two to put together, in one day? One week? They couldn’t. So they rely on personal bias and past musical knowledge to fill in the blanks, which is where that whole “celebrity straw man” thing came from. They rush their reviews, so they make assumptions and write reviews that are factually incorrect. They take lyrics completely out of context and judge them for the world to see, all because they didn’t have the time to let the lyrics sink in. This makes it very ironic when Mosi writes that the “execution felt rushed” in terms of INDIE 500.
    Mosi writes “Kweli appears on all but 3 tracks yet the album sounds more like a compilation than a concise effort between him and 9th Wonder.” This sentence is one of my biggest issues with this review. This album was never supposed to be a “concise effort” between 9th and I. We’ve never said that, we never presented it as such. We ALWAYS said it was a compilation. So if it feels like a compilation to Mosi, then guess what, we did our job. Well. If Mosi was paying more attention to what people like 9th and I actually say and do, as opposed to what blogs say about us, then he would have caught that. If Mosi review is based on him thinking this album was something it never was, than his review is flawed and cannot be taken seriously.
    As if to drive home how little he knows about what he is actually listening to Mosi then writes that 9th doesn’t “experiment enough with his beats” as if 9th did every beat on this project, or was supposed to. He credits 9th for his work on Technicolor Easels and Understand, but never mentions that its not 9th but Khrysis who did those beats. If the reviewer can’t even be bothered to find out who did what beats, again, how can this review be taken seriously? Isn’t Pitchfork.com supposed to be the gold standard when it comes to reviews? But this misinformation is acceptable?
    Mosi says that “in spite of it’s flaws” there are two can’t miss moments on INDIE 500. But even in trying to give us props, he shows just how little he was paying attention to this album he was “reviewing.” He credits MK Asante with a speech given by 9th Wonder at the beginning of the song Bangers. MK and 9th sound nothing alike. He then credits me with a verse from MK Asante. MK and I sound nothing alike. That’s two mistakes on one song. Do your homework Mosi!
    In spite of his many flaws and factually incorrect info, Mosi does have some nice things to say about the album. He seems to be experienced and widely regarded as a competent journalist, which is why the many factual errors are surprising to me. These are not just circumstantial errors either, they are the kind of errors that would affect how you are listening. If you don’t know who you are listening to, which Mosi proves he doesn’t beat wise and lyric wise, then the scale you are judging by cannot be trusted. It seems that if a writer like Mosi Reeves actually had enough time to let this album sink in rather than having to rush a review, he would not make these mistakes. I cannot be mad at anyone’s opinion of my work. But when that opinion is informed by incorrect information, I become suspicious of it. I also think that if you are going to write a review for a platform as respected as Pitchfork.com, you should try your best to not have factual errors in your review, especially the type of errors that can taint your judgment.  It’s EXTREMELY unfair to the artists. Who edited this review? Do they not give a shit or are they just bad at their job? Clearly they don’t care about having accurate info on their site. But when it comes to accurate info about me and mines, I care.

That’s my review of that review. I give it a 3.6.

SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE CASHIERS THAT ACTUALLY VALUE THEIR JOB AND SO THEIR VERY BEST AT IT AND THEY STILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH SHITTY AND RUDE CUSTOMERS.

•Don’t tell her that she should go back to school after asking to make sure that item is what you want. She did enjoy the 15$ in change you left on the counter.

•Don’t yell at me cause your pizza was wrong, do you see me in the kitchen? I had no control over that.

•If you are going to call and order something, then fucking know what you want to order before calling. We are busy and you keeping UA on the phone for 10 minutes throws us behind and hurts the rest of the staff.

•LISTEN TO US WHEN WE PROVIDE HELP. COMING BACK INTO THE STORE TO BITCH AFTER YOU DID SHIT WRONG MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE RETARD.

•No we will not pump your gas.

•STOP FUCKING WITH THE ICE CREAM MACHINE. NEXT TIME I’LL CALL YOUR ASSES OUT.

•If it says out of order, THEN DON’T TOUCH IT.

•You can see there is no trash bag there and that we are currently changing the trash out, then don’t throw your trash in the can.

•If we are currently mopping an isle, especially an aisle NO ONE ever buys from, then please go around. We understand if its aisle that contains pop or candy, but we have YET to sell any camping supplies.

•Don’t come to the store to cause issues with another employee. The next time you do, I will have you removed and banned.

•Don’t yell at us when you forget YOUR pin to your card. Cause we have all control over that *sarcasm here*

•Its YOUR fault when your card is declined. Or your bank’s.

•We don’t own the ATM. Again, getting shitty with us isn’t going to make us contact the bank faster.

•Stop calling the store asking for the manager’s name and hanging up. Seriously, we aren’t stupid. We know what scams are, and we know how to do our job. Its not going to work.

•We don’t control the price of cigarettes, alcohol, beer, gas, food, everything but our own pizzas and food.

•Don’t get shitty when we refuse your 100$ bill. We aren’t supposed to carry a large amount of money in our drawers, especially at night, especially, when we are closing.

•If you use the bathroom at our store like you do at home, then you are fucking filthy. Say something to one of us if you clog it. Just wait until we get our new rule, you aren’t going to be happy cleaning up your own shit.

•If you break something, tell us so we can clean it up.

•Stop dumping your drinks in the trays. They are there to catch drips and that’s it.


I have so much more, but you can get the gist of it.