seriously if you talk like a pirate i will punch you in the gut

When they said they were sending you back to your people, sending you home, you thought they meant Earth. But then you hear the Commander’s voice. You see the Hephaestus coming to fetch you. And you realise almost all of your people are on that ship. Maybe Minkowski and Hera and Lovelace are the closest thing you know to ‘home’ anyway.

You need to get back to them, to tell them what you’ve seen and heard. Your mind is buzzing with things you don’t understand. But soon you’ll see the smartest people you know again. Maybe they’ll be able to make sense of it.

You can’t wait to laugh with them about how absurd it all is, that you’re the first human ever to speak with these aliens. Somehow Douglas Eiffel, certified screw-up, became ambassador of mankind. Minkowski will love that.

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arirashkae  asked:

Fluff prompt: “If you would have just kissed them, we wouldn’t be in this mess! Now we’re tied up on traintracks about to be smushed like bugs!”

This prompt was so unique it totally threw me for a loop at first, but writing it was so much fun! Thank you!!

Train Tracks

Read on Ao3

Pairings: pre-tuckington

Grif turns his head to shoot Wash a side-eyed glare. “If you’d just fucking kissed him when you were supposed to, we wouldn’t be in this mess! Now we’re tied up on train tracks about to be smushed like bugs!”
Wash blinks. Then,

Or, Wash and Grif find themselves in a bind, and Wash really doesn’t have time for this conversation.

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To Build a Home (2/3)

Rating: M

So…this got away from me and will now be in three parts because I needed to add some Captain Cobra.

Killian throws the note in the water and Emma waits in a house that is no longer a home.

Part One here

Henry is wondering, not for the first time, if he is the only sane person left in this town.

(And really, last time he thought that, he had totally been right. Cursed and all.)

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Sasata Sata - Lady in Red

The rowdy, energetic crowd at the Drowning Wench was both too large and not gullible enough for Sasata’s liking that night. There wasn’t an empty stool or chair in sight, the floor was packed with people waving for more drinks and more girls with less clothes, and the only betting to be had was on the several rowdy roegadyn sailors who had set up a winner-take-all arm wrestling challenge on her usual card table. As small as she was, it was difficult to get the attention of any of the harried barmaids to even get a drink in the throng. When she was almost stepped on for the third time by an elezen sailor attempting to dance while in a drunken stupor, she came to a decision.

There was nothing to be done for it; she was going to have to find a new place to hang out if she wanted to do anything fun.

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How Not to Subdue a Dangerous Pirate Captain

Notes: Request from portggasdace.  Luffy gets sent to Baltigo instead of Amazon Lily. ahhhh this is so late I’m so sorry I have no excuse

Sabo glanced up from his work, a frown on his face.  He could hear the commotion from outside quite clearly and it was making the task of doing his paperwork far more difficult than it really needed to be.

And he was so close to finishing, too.

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Blondes and British Bad Boys

So this is a companion drabble to ’Ship Mates’, because I decided the ladies needed some girl talk

“So, does yours have these weird pet names for you too?” Emma Swan spun the straw around in her coke, a small smile on her face as she asked the question. There weren’t a lot of people in Storybrooke that were totally open to hearing about the details of her relationship with the resident pirate, but the cheerful blonde sitting next to her up at the bar of Granny’s diner rolled her eyes at the question and snorted, a gesture that told Emma this girl knew what it was like.

“Oh god, don’t even start on the pet names. It’s all ‘love’ and ‘sweetheart’ and at first I just wanted to say “hey buddy, remember my actual name?” Caroline took a sip of her drink and smiled to herself. Klaus’ penchant for these little endearments weren’t exactly something she could easily discuss with other people, and it was nice to get some unexpected girl talk.  “What about Killian?”

“He likes ‘Swan’ because it’s my last name, but I get ‘love’ too-“

“Seriously, is that just a British-guy requirement?” interjected Caroline.

Emma gave a light shrug. “It must be, because he never lets up with it.”

Caroline was quiet for moment before she gave Emma a guilty smile. “Okay, can I make a confession? The pet names used to annoy me but now…”

“You kinda like them, right?!” said Emma with a grin, leaning closer slightly. The two blondes stared at each other for a moment before breaking out into laughter.

“Okay okay, so how did you guys meet?” asked Caroline.

“Well, we met when he was in the Enchanted Forest and we climbed a beanstalk to get this compass from a giant’s castle – don’t ask, it’s a long story,” said Emma waving off Caroline’s wide-eyed stare. Caroline nodded for her to continue, and Emma went on. “So we got to the top of this beanstalk and I sort of left him up there…” Emma shrugged again. “To be fair, he did trap me in a prison cell later on.”

Caroline nodded sympathetically. “Oh God, Klaus once had me kidnapped so that he could use me in this freaky hybrid sacrifice, and then he turned my ex into a hybrid before getting him to bite me. He saved my life and then my friends used me as a distraction until it got annoying, but it still took a while before I actually trusted him.”

“Yeah it took a while-“ Emma broke off suddenly, frowning to herself. “Actually no it didn’t, everything happened pretty quickly. Huh. It felt like longer. I guess that’s why everybody finds it so weird.”

“You’ve got ‘friend issues’ too?” asked Caroline eagerly. “Because my friends nearly had an aneurysm when I started to spend more time around Klaus-“

“Friends? Try parents! I mean I love them but Snow just keeps giving me these worried looks and I’m pretty sure David has punched him at least once and told him to stay away from me.”

“You think that’s bad? My dad actively hated vampires, if he knew and Original was interested in me…” she trailed off with a shudder and Emma patted her hand sympathetically.

“I guess all you can do is just…go with your gut,” said Emma, idly sipping her drink. “And I mean, I’ll give Killian this – after everything that happened here, with this crazy witch trying to kill us, he ended up on our side. He came back…he said I reminded him that he could help other people.” She couldn’t help the warm smile that spread on her face and she ducked her head for a moment before looking back up at Caroline.

The younger girl was wearing the same kind of smile, playing with her fingers. “Klaus once told me…the only times he ever showed mercy or forgiveness were for me. I mean I don’t know how ‘merciful’ he was being but…it means something. At least I like to think so.”

“I guess that that’s what we get for reforming bad boys,” said Emma drily and Caroline agreed with a light snort. “I won’t complain though – he’s not a bad kisser,” Emma said with a wink.

Caroline bit her lip, and looked almost shy. “Haven’t actually gotten there yet.”

Emma raised her eyebrows and Caroline smirked. “What can I say – I’m playing hard to get.” Emma sputtered out a laugh and Caroline joined her, lifting up her glass. “To blondes and British bad boys!”

“I’ll drink to that!” Emma clinked her glass against hers, but their toast was interrupted by Ruby coming over to both of them, a worried look on her face.

“Uh, sorry to interrupt, but Hook and that blonde guy from earlier – Klaus? – they’re outside in the courtyard and I think they’ve had one too many to drink. I think they started some drinking song…would you mind getting your boys under control before they start scaring away the guests?”

Caroline turned to Emma who heaved an exasperated sigh, “Come on,” she said, hopping off the stool, Caroline following, “let’s go get our boys.”