seriously i need a psychiatrist

About Jared’s latest pics…

yes, the ones of him and Valery…

First of all, there’s an unfollow button on the right upper corner of my blog, just in case you need to click on it. What I’m about to say here might offend some people’s susceptibilities. I don’t mince words when it comes to express my opinion. This is my blog and I’ve got the right to express what I feel here, there’s no better place for me to state my opinion regarding certain topics. So if you don’t agree with my opinion and want to lash out at me, you’d better unfollow me or even block me. I don’t take bullshit from anyone and I have neither the patience nor the time to deal with stupidity or drama, ok????

Having said that, I’ll get to the point. Jared and his alleged girfriend.

When I saw these pics, I knew they would provoke all sorts of reactions and of course negative and even insulting comments.Especially because we saw other pics of them a couple of months ago. There’s something I can’t put up with and that’s the disrespect and the insulting comments towards Jared, Valery or any other people. You don’t have to regard her as a sl*t only because you assume she’s with him. The same with Jared, you don’t have to insult him because she’s with her.

Seriously, I don’t understand why the drama regarding this girl. I mean, she’s just a young woman who happens to hang out with a man double her age. It’s unbelievable how many people (women) start to freak out every time there are new pics of them being together. Seriously guys, such attitude verges on the obsession. That man ain’t gonna be yours, you know?

They’re not doing any harm to you if they’re dating (if it was the case). If she’s his gf, or fwb, or whatever, it’s their problem and only they know what kind of relationship they have and they don’t have to give explanations to the world. However weird their relationship might be, Jared doesn’t owe any explanation to anyoneThat’s his problem, not yours.

There’s no need to bash him only because he seems to like young girls half his age. He’s not the first or the last man in this world to like or date pretty young girls. That’s his problem, not yours

And for those who think he’s gay and he uses her to pretend he’s straight (yeah, I’ve read comments like these somewhere), if it were the case, again, that’s his problem, not yours.

For all those people (women) who begin to destroy him everytime pics like these appear, I have a question for you: Is your life going to be better if that girl disappear from Jared’s life???? I mean, are you going to be happier, more beautiful, more successful, find a better job or have more money if she’s away from him????? Will all your real problems (problems of your daily life) disappear all of a sudden???? Or do you really think your chances of becoming Mrs. Leto will increase???? If the answer is yes, you need a psychiatrist. Seriously, I don’t see why the fact of Jared being with that girl should disturb you to the extent to post nasty comments about them. Jared has the right to date whoever he wants. And if he happens to like her and it turns out to be she brings happiness to him, then so be it. It’s his PRIVATE life after all. Not yours.

If you don’t like what he does, stop following him. Life is full of choices and there are many artists out there whom to follow.


anonymous asked:

Prompt: Owen hurts Amelia's wrist during a PTSD episode. She tried to hide it at work but callie notices

Edit: I am reposting this in conjunction with @omeliaweek day 6- PTSD/relapse

Owen’s previous PTSD episode can be read here

It was pitch dark in the middle of the night in the trailer. All that could be heard were the noises of the crickets outside.

Back in the trailer, both occupants were fast asleep on the bed, huddled up together, embraced in each other’s warmth after an entire night of hot, explosive sex.

 The silence was interrupted by sudden screaming.

 ‘ Megan, Megan!! Don’t go- come back!!’

 Owen’s hands were trashing around wildly as he continued yelling out his sister’s name.

 This commotion woke up Amelia too as she stirred from her sleep and turned to her side to see Owen’s hands trashing the bedsheets. This wasn’t the first time she had encountered Owen having a PTSD episode - this wasn’t something new to her. He had a PTSD episode last year and nearly strangled her in her sleep. Fortunately, she forgave him and together they went for counselling and saw a psychiatrist. This seemed to have helped somewhat as his PTSD episodes ceased- until now. 

 ‘ Owen’ Amelia whispered, still groggy from sleep. 

 ‘ Owen’ she called his name louder this time when she got no response.

 The trashing and yelling continued.

 ‘ Owen’ this time she shook him hard on the shoulders to wake him up. ‘ Wake up! You’re having a nightmare Owen- wake up please!’

 Suddenly Owen grabbed hold of Amelia’s left wrist and gripped it hard. 

 ‘ Owen- WAKE UP!’ Amelia cried out in pain as her left wrist was being twisted to an abnormal angle as she tried to let go of Owen’s strong grip, hitting his arm with her free hand in vain.

 Unfortunately, he was too strong for her, and she could her a crack sound of her wrist, followed by a sensation of sharp pain radiating from her wrist to the arm.

  ‘ OUCH!’ she cried out in pain.

 Her loud exclamation finally jolted Owen awake, as he came to his senses and released her wrist. 

 And gasped in shock and horror at the sight of Amelia sitting at the other end of the bed, supporting her left wrist and wincing in pain.

 ‘ Mia’ he called softly 

 Her back was turned to him and she either didn’t hear him or pretended not to.

 His heart sank to the depths of his heart. He didn’t need to ask any further questions- he didn’t need any confirmation- it was obvious what had happened. He had hurt her in the midst of a PTSD episode- yet again. At this very moment, he felt like beating himself up into a pulp.

 ‘ Mia - come here’ Owen called out, beckoning to her. ‘ Let me see your wrist’

 ‘ No!’ Amelia cried out suddenly, standing up from the bed, still clutching her left wrist.‘ I….I’ve gotta go to work now, I’m running late for rounds.’

 He knew it was a blatant lie- as he could memorize her schedule. He knew that she wasn’t supposed to clock into work until 9 am today, and it was only almost 7 am.

 Owen watched helpless from the bed as Amelia hurriedly grabbed a set of her working clothes and working bag, and headed out of the trailer without so much as a glance back at him.

 As soon as the door of the trailer closed behind her, Owen pounded his fists on the bed repeatedly until his fists hurt. Then he buried his head in his hands, remaining in that position for a whole hour.


 ‘ Hey Amelia’ Callie walked up towards Amelia who was sitting behind the nurses counter in the ER, sipping on a cup of coffee and going through her patient’s electronic charts before rounds. There were no cases for her to review yet in the ER. ‘ You’re early today. It’s only 8.’

 ‘ Yea, I woke up early today and couldn’t go back to sleep, so I decided to make full use of my extra time to go through my patient’s charts before rounds.’ Amelia replied, shrugging.

 Callie didn’t buy the lie. Amelia was always exactly on time to work but never this early. 

 She stared at Amelia’s face again, trying to coax the truth out of her.

 ‘ Did you and Owen quarrel?’ Callie guessed. 

 ‘ No’ Amelia replied curtly, taking another sip of her coffee with her right hand and trying to tap on the electronic chart with her left hand.

 It was then that Callie noticed the abnormality in Amelia’s left wrist. It was obviously swollen and deformed.

 ‘ Did you hurt your left wrist?’ Callie asked concerned.

 ‘ What? no….I just twisted it a bit while getting out of bed.’ Amelia shrugged.

‘ It’s swollen , like really swollen Amelia- let me see.’ 

 ‘ I said I’m fin…..ouch!’ Amelia winced as she accidentally knocked the swollen wrist on the edge of the table.

 ‘ I can tell at a glance that there is something wrong with your wrist Amelia.’ said Callie calmly. ‘ Just let me have a look at it please? It might be broken or dislocated. What happened exactly?’

 ‘ I tripped and fell down this morning.’ Amelia lied.

 ‘Does it hurt?’ Callie asked as she pressed on Amelia’s left wrist. Amelia wincing in pain answered the question for her.

 ‘ Can you move your wrist?’ Callie asked.

 The range of movement of Amelia’s left wrist was limited.

 ‘ Well, it looks like we need an Xray done.’ Callie announced.

 Amelia groaned internally. She hated Xrays. Xrays always meant bad news.

 ‘ Wait, are you pregnant?’ Callie asked suddenly.

 ‘ What?….I’m certainly not. I just had my period last week and I’m on the pill.’ Amelia replied hastily.  ‘ Let’s just get this xray over and done with then.’


 ‘ Well, it looks like you have a left wrist dislocation.’ said Callie as she studied Amelia’s xray. ‘ You know what that means right? Reduction and immobilization with a cast.’

 Amelia groaned loudly. 

 ‘ I’ll prepare some sedation for you before we do the reduction ok? I’ll call Wilson to come and assist me.  Callie patted Amelia’s arm comfortingly.

 Soon, Amelia was crying out in pain as her left wrist was being reduced by Callie and Jo. Damn Owen and his PTSD episodes!

 As Callie was preparing to apply the cast on Amelia’s left arm, the door to ER room 3 opened and in popped Owen’s head. Speak of the devil.

 ‘ Mia- you’re here!’ he cried.  ‘ I’ve been looking everywhere for you.’

 Amelia turned her head away from him in response.

 This did not go unnoticed by both Callie and Jo.

 ‘ Is there anything going on between you two?’ Callie asked cautiously as she started preparing the plaster for the cast.

 ‘ No….no……it’s just that…I accidentally hurt her this morning.’ Owen muttered his confession.  ‘ I had a nightmare…PTSD….I didn’t mean to hurt her.’

 Callie looked back and forth between Owen and Amelia. Owen looked flustered and truly apologetic. Amelia looked aloof and distant, still avoiding looking at Owen.

 She sighed internally. She was really rooting for this couple. She wondered if there was any couple in this hospital who would ever get their happily ever after.

 Suddenly Callie’s pager beeped. It was a 911 page from April. 

 ‘ I’ve gotta go now. Wilson, come with me. Hunt, can you finish the cast for me? It’s a left wrist dislocation.’ Callie winked at him as she walked out of the ER room with Jo, leaving both Owen and Amelia alone together in the room.

 The tension in the room was strong as they both remained silent for a few moments, daring the other to speak first.

 Finally Owen broke the silence.

 ‘Look Mia, I’m so so sorry. I had a nightmare like night about Megan. I wasn’t aware of my surroundings then. I didn’t mean to hurt you.’

 Amelia finally turned to look at him, her blue eyes filled with hurt and anger.

 ‘ This isn’t the first time this happened, Owen.’ she pointed out.

 ‘ I tried to wake you up so many times, but you just grabbed my wrist so hard and wouldn’t let go! You’ve got an iron grip by the way, I’ve to give you that.’ she said curtly.

 ‘ I’m so sorry. I really didn’t know it is this serious. I would never harm you on purpose Mia. I love you so much, please.’ Owen begged as he looked into her eyes.

 Amelia seemed to be contemplating what to say next as she looked up at the ceiling. But Owen could see her eyes softening.

 ‘ Ha, I know what you can do to make this up to me.’ she said suddenly, placing her right middle finger below her chin. ‘ Make me a very nice and special cast. I want a superhero cast.’

 Owen chuckled.  His Amelia was back , and for that he was grateful.

 ‘ We don’t have a superhero cast, Amelia, you know that.’

 Amelia pouted.  ‘ Well then, make me a perfect cast! One that is aesthetically pleasing and also able to function well as a cast.’

 ‘ Will do’. Owen answered.

 ‘ So you dreamt about your sister again last night?’ Amelia asked as Owen started applying the cast on her arm.

 ‘ Yes, I miss Megan everyday.’ said Owen sadly.  ‘ I thought I would be able to get over it after the sessions with the psychiatrist, but I am dreaming about her.’

 ‘ I still dream about Derek too sometimes.’ Amelia said softly. ‘ I dream about the good times we had together as kids. But sometimes I dream of the day we both saw our father being shot. And I end up screaming myself awake too.. I miss him too. PTSD needs to be taken seriously.’

 ‘ I need to book an appointment to see the psychiatrist tomorrow.’ Owen pointed out as he gently molded the cast. It seemed to be shaping well around Amelia’s arm.

 ‘ Yes you should.’ Amelia nodded seriously in agreement. ‘ And you also have to do all the chores in the trailer for the next few weeks as I cannot function properly with only one functional arm.’ 

 ‘ Yes ma’am’ Owen nodded seriously in reply. He would do anything for Amelia to make her happy again. he would never ever hurt her intentionally.

Again- reblogs and comments and reviews are very welcome! :)  They give me inspiration to write.

alright so

i really realyl hate to do this esp when i currently owe several commissions but I’m gonna be real. my mental health is taking a very drastic dive and I honestly feel like I’m on the verge of a meltdown. I’m borderline nonfunctional and struggling with serious dissociation and flashbacks that are making me lose touch with reality. It’s clear that my meds aren’t cutting it at their current dosage and I seriously need to start seeing a psychiatrist and/or therapist but I’m completely fucking broke. 

I’m transgender and have severe PTSD, so I can’t go with a cheap option like seeking out students- So far they’ve either been overwhelmed by how intense my trauma is or have been completely clueless about gender and made my dysphoria worse than ever. I have to seek out professionals with experience, and even with a sliding scale it’s expensive as hell(esp in a major city like Portland)

So this is me fighting all my feelings of worthlessness and asking for donations so I can afford to make an appointment with someone. I won’t go hungry or die or anything but cash is a bit tight so anything will seriously help. 

My paypal is . It took me five hours to write this post, thank you for reading it