seriously how do you exist

LB Gets Woke: A Bullet-Point Crack Fic

I told @luciemiddleford​ how I would really like there to be a rival for Chat Noir’s affections in upcoming seasons.  Not like another superhero or akuma, but a normal civilian who notices how freaking awesome this cat is and makes Ladybug have to work for Chat’s affections.  Her reaction was something along the lines of “oh HELL yes” and she planted ideas in my brain, guys.  IDEAS.

I’m not a fanfic writer.  Brytte is, but she refused to turn her ideas into a fic.  Half of the blame for this goes to her.  Maybe 75%….no, no.  68.2%.

Seeing as how this glorious honor has been entrusted to me, you can guess where this is going.  Y’all should know my M O by now.


Chapter 1: The Not-So-Epic Beginning of an Average Relationship

  • Chat Noir and Ladybug Save the Day™
  • LB leaves and a civilian approaches Chat
  • Let’s call her…idk Marie-Suzanne 
  • because she’s French, you see ¬‿¬
  • she doesn’t want an autograph or anything
  • she just wants to make sure he’s ok and thank him for saving her sister
  • she has shoulder-length caramel colored hair with grey eyes that look like twin storm cl–
  • –what?  That’s been done…?
  • crap
  • ummmm….she looks like Jane Q. Public
  • that better?
  • …dammit I should’ve gone with that name…
  • ANYway, Chat is touched that some rando citizen cares about his well being
  • after blushing enough that it’s a miracle he’s still alive, they part ways…for now

The romance(?) continues after the cut…

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Sorry to stick my nose in ace discourse bc I think it’s annoying and repetitive at this point but those ppl who r like “since when did this community become about being oppressed” are seriously like ….how can you be so delusional. Do you think LGBT just exists as a Fun Little Club that we have to keep the straighties out. What the hell man

Seriously? People are getting mad at systems for having alters with a different race than the body?
What do you expect them to do? Apologize for existing?
Granted alters can be stereotypes of that race but seriously, they had no choice in thier existence.
Do you know how the brain works?
Alters are made from the subconscious, subconscious mind doesn’t follow the same rules of the conscious mind.
Alters are, and always have been made from things and people that the brain associated with the abuse or safety from it or protection against it, regardless of logic.
If thier next door neighbor that happened to be black or east Asian or something was a comforting person, during the abuse, you could end up with a version of them just because.
The subconscious mind doesn’t care what species or race or sex as long as it works protecting the conscious mind of the child being abused.

Cute Watchdog couple watching…….something. I don’t really know what they’re supposed to be looking at. All I know is I have been infected by how many cute random Watchdog couples drawings there have been the last few days. (You can do it, nervous Watchdog! Grod speed, little guy!)

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Skrillex and Friends - “Rock n Roll (Will Take You to the Mountain)”

I thought I couldn’t like Sonny any more.

I was so wrong.