serious go check her out shes amazing

amanda-teaches  asked:

It's impossible to give you all the people I love, so I'll give you some of my tumblr crushes, who are all kids of amazing (*cough* you're one of them, Ash). There's @hamartiamacguffin. She gives great feedback plus she's all around awesome. @impala-dreamer because of her amazing writing and even more amazing personality. @samwinlover also has amazing Sam fics. @melissaj616 writes awesome Dean smut. @idreamofhazel and @seenashwrite are both fantastic writers and people. There are so many more!

My darling Amanda, you should really get that cough checked out. Seems pretty serious. 

Let’s break this down shall we?

@impala-dreamer : meh, she’s ok I guess. I mean as far as perfect in every way wives go.

@idreamofhazel I SWEAR TO GOD GUYS IF YOU AREN’T FOLLOWING AND READING HER THINGS (Blue and Yellow will make you weep) YOU’RE MISSING OUT AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU EXCEPT YOU’RE DOING YOUR LIFE WRONG.

As far as @hamartiamacguffin @samwinlover @melissaj616 and @seenashwrite go looks like I have some stalking to doooooo tomorrow!!!

i don’t know what i’m doing more than half of the time

for my entire adult life, since i was 18, i’ve been dealing with major depressive disorder. attempts to medicate my depression with anti-depressants have always been unsuccessful; my doctors always just said “shucks! that sucks!” and told me to up the exercise ante, which has become more difficult as my body degenerates. many years ago, i resigned myself to dealing with (and potentially, eventually losing the battle) to my depression.

two weeks ago, i rode a wave of severe depression set off by the pulse shootings, questions about my bisexuality and ability to pass while dating a cishet dude, and where i fit into the queer community. while in this slump, i started watching lady dynamite on netflix. i went into the show knowing only that it was a portrayal of maria bamford’s diagnosis of bipolar II disorder and the subsequent effect of her mental illness on her life. the more i watched, the more i felt like i was watching someone else tell the intricate nuances of my life story. my depression crested into what i now recognize as a five-day hypomanic rush, the kind of frenzied gogogo where my nerves feel like exposed, sparking electrical wires on the edge of a puddle, and i knew i desperately needed to see a psychiatrist.

so, because of lady dynamite and maria bamford’s blatant honesty and self-advocacy, i did. instead of resigning myself to a lack of solutions, i made the appointment. i learned a lot about myself: mostly, i learned that i, too, am bipolar. i’ve been repeating it to myself for the last two days like a mantra. “my name is heather and i’m bipolar. my name is heather and i’m bipolar.”

it feels terrifying and comforting all at once - frightening because the stigma of mental illness still exists (if i had a dollar for every time someone erroneously blamed all mass shootings on the mentally ill in the last two weeks, i could afford to check myself into an in-patient program sans insurance) and comforting because now i have a paradigm to work with. anti-depressants increase my suicidal ideation for a reason. i can’t stop my racing thoughts for a reason. my depression peaks in the winter for a reason. my rapid-fire pressured speech happens for a reason. sometimes i’m up at 2 AM organizing the tupperware in my kitchen and writing a short story and cooking two meals at once and working on a painting for a damn reason!

i’m fortunate to have an excellent psychiatrist who recognizes that the inherent complications of my ehlers-danlos disease aren’t going to make treatment of my bipolar disorder simple. i’m a complicated brain trapped in a complexly unsound meatcage. there’s no magic medicine i can take that will make me well instantaneously. it’s going to take work on my part, recognition of my own behaviors and some serious, lifelong therapy to keep my illness in check. but that’s okay. i have answers, and i have a path through the shadows of the deep, dark woods that i thought would swallow me up before.

so if you’re dealing with mental illness in your life, in any capacity, please know that you aren’t alone. Maria Bamford is a brave, amazing human who put herself, her story, and her truth out there, and i will always be grateful for her courage and creativity. because she made me feel less alone, i thought it would be important for me to share my own journey. please know that my message box (or phone, or e-mail, twitter, tumblr, carrier pigeon, whatever!) is always open. pithy aphorisms are always unintentional, but you really don’t have to do this alone.

So I just reached 600 followers and I thought I’d make a little follow forever to celebrate :) thank you so much everyone btw <3

First of all, @infinitybarnes -> follow her I’m serious she’s the most precious and lovely person <3  I bet you already know her blog but still, show her some love!! :D <3

@sebstan-theman is such a sweet soul and she has amazing art and she also writes so you should definitely check her out too!!  <3

@bicepbucky  new friend (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ lmao

mutulas
faves

Here we go:

#-e
@800p  @bagelbarnes @barness @bckyxbarnes @blavkpanthvr @buchanal @bucknsteves @buckysfalcon @bucnanan @captainamericaisbisexual @captainamericannot  @captainbuckybarness @captnadorable @carterwidows @dew-frost  @duhbucky

f-l
@fightmebucky @forever-daybreak @hisbuckybarnes @idontwikeit @ilovewintersoldiersandsebastians @imsebastianstanobsessed @ironmxn @jamesbarnes107th @jamesbcrnes @kana-go @katthecorruptor @kittyseb @leftforbed @littlesebbystan @lokihiddleston @lonelydoctors @lostthebucky @love-buckybarnes

m-p
@maiximoffs @maximoffstucky @majorrogers @murdockks @natasha-rxmanova @pieatromaximoff @princetchclla @protectbuckybarnesatallcosts @punkxsteve @puresebastian

r-s
@ready-tocomply  @rhodeey @rogerrstark @rqmanoff  @sbstianstan @sebastiansource @sergeantasset @sergeantbucky @sexualthorientation @sexyseabuck @sgtbarnes107 @sleepingbucky @sleepymarvel @sokovia @squishybucky @ssoldat @stan-luv  @steveogers @steviepinkiepierogers

t-z
@tchakka @tchallos @teambucky @teamcaptainamericax @teamstevebuck @theromanova  @uncensoredsideblog @underroos @victimbucky @vsslface @wandamaximffo @winterbuckbuck @winteredbarnes @wintersoldiersparkles @winterzoldier @worthygamora @yxurbucky


I love all of you and your blogs :D <3
(I’m awful at this haha…I hope I didn’t forget anyone)