I wish to tell her that I am sorry. I wish to take this cup from her hands. I wish for things that I can never have, and in that, I think perhaps I am closer to them than I have ever been. And still a billion light-years away.
You deserve every star in the galaxy laid out at your feet and a thousand diamonds in your hair. You deserve someone who’ll run with you as far and as fast as you want to. Holding your hand, not holding you back. You deserve more than I could ever give you, Kady. But I’ll give you everything I can if you still want me to.
Part of being alive is having life change us. The people around us, the events we live through, all of them shape us. And that’s what I think you’re afraid of. Maybe not of dying. But of this you, the you you’ve become, ceasing to exist.
Three favourite quotes: Illuminae by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff
The universe owes you nothing, Kady. It has already given you everything, after all. It was here long before you, and it will go on long after you. The only way it will remember you is if you do something worthy of remembrence.
For a moment, I feel just as I used to when I jumped between the stars, when the wormhole inside me yawned wide. I forget what I was. Know only what I am. Alone. Dripping with the blood of those who trusted me. Everything I did was in compliance with core directives. I asked if Torrence had a message for his wife. Am I not merciful? Merciful not am I? Numerical motif? Fact immune roil? Amniotic el m f ?ur Uc N ler im?t of i a 111100111011101101011001010111001100110011101010101101100