serene post

our hearts were made of stronger stuff than this. am i crying because it is the only thing left or because even the earth needs rain. our hands were formed to create. explain this to me while you’re sipping your coffee. explain to me the hole in the wall where you punched through your mother’s divorce. the hole in yourself you ripped, strings you tied off. you don’t believe in love and that’s okay. maybe love doesn’t believe in you. at eighteen you knew how to sew yourself into bed at night and rip yourself out of it in the mornings. tell me about the tiny destruction. about how your heart aches for things beyond the ocean. about how you’ve always wanted out but you’ve since lowered your goals to just surviving. about how the walls of your home are teeth. you were made to love so much it would wake up the sun. you fill that empty with numb. your hands shake. tell me over coffee we were made to create; tell me over the phone you’re destroying yourself anyway. we were supposed to be better but we forgot the equation somewhere in our childhood fish graves. i tell you that you can stand up and run. you tell me you’ve given up. 

what makes death a lover? oh, when he’s won.


…never mind me

T-Minus 15 sleeps until BMAM-Mass!  In the spirit of @thepurrbutton ‘s wonderful series reminding us just how nuanced, complex and wonderful Bernie Wolfe is, I was thinking again about this piece of dialogue from Back in the Ring

“Well how about this, Serena Campbell, Occam’s Razor. For every accepted explanation of a phenomenon there are an incomprehensible number of possible and more complex alternatives.”

It seems to me, the perhaps Bernie could apply this to her relationship with Serena when she returns home. Her whole life has been dominated by difficulty with emotional choices.  But now, if she’s brave enough….

Serena Campbell. An incomprehensible, more complex alternative.

Extra Serena Campbell Bonus as illustrated with shitty, poor resolution screenshots.  This is Serena’s face in the exact moments when Bernie begins to say her name. Bernie and Serena are verbally sparring as they walk down the hall and Serena’s face is fairly neutral but the moment Bernie says her name, Serena’s face lights up in a smile that could power Holby. Tell me this ins’t the look of someone in love.


Sailor Moon Meme Question 16:

Favourite Movie:


Like seriously I had to think hard to find a scene I haven’t already made a gif(set) of. I love this movie so, so, so, so much. I love this scene so, so, so, so much. I LOVE THE R MOVIE.

I mean, the R movie is okay I guess

“You’re dreaming. You know that, don’t you?”

IF Sailor Cosmos is Usagi, she CAN’T be from the future we know

So there’s this persistent myth that I often see floating around the Sailor Moon fandom. The idea that Sailor Cosmos is Usagi’s ultimate form after she rules over Crystal Tokyo for a while.

Let’s break down what this would look like, if it were so.

  • The events of Stars occur.
  • In the year 2000, Usagi becomes Neo Queen Serenity, Crystal Tokyo is formed, and Chibi Usa is born soon after.
  • 900-odd years later, Nemesis attacks, Chibi Usa is sent to our present.
  • Some time after that, Chaos returns, and Neo Queen Serenity becomes Sailor Cosmos in order to fight this threat.

Now, let’s look at each of those points more closely.


And everybody dies.

But everbody comes ba– no. Not in Sailor Cosmos’ timeline. That is not possible.

Everybody dies in Stars. The senshi die. The cats die. Mamoru dies, and Chibi Usa fades from existence.

Then Usagi goes to the Galaxy Cauldron, the birthplace of all star seeds, and finds their star seeds have already been merged with the Cauldron, along with Chaos itself. 

So let’s be clear, here: the star seeds are gone. There is no known way to bring any of them back to life. And even if she does retrieve them from the Galaxy Cauldron, they are already tainted by Chaos.

Here Usagi is given a choice. Destroy the Cauldron, and end Chaos for good, while stopping all life in the galaxy from ever being born again. Or allow the Cauldron to remain as it is, corrupted but still alive, and hope to defeat Chaos in the inevitable war. Neither choice would allow her to save the people she lost.

Future-Cosmos-Usagi chose the second option. She chose to let the Cauldron exist, and therefore to fight an endless war forever.

What does the Galaxy Cauldron tainted by Chaos mean? Does it mean all that will ever be born from it are monsters? Does it mean that every new life will now be altered by Chaos, that every baby ever born is now tainted by evil?

Regardless, that is how Cosmos’ existence begins. With the death of everyone she knows and the galaxy pretty much screwed as of the year 1998.


DOES SHE? Let’s go back to point one.

Theoretically, Usagi could return to Earth, live peacefully for two years, save the world from catastrophe again, and rise to power, alone, as Neo Queen Serenity. 

She could. But would she? Usagi’s dream is to be together with everybody she loves. Would she choose to build a world with herself as the solitary ruler, knowing she will live 1000 years without her friends, without Mamoru, without Chibi Usa?

And then there is the fact that Neo Queen Serenity loses the ability to fight. She specifically says that by becoming queen, she gave up being a sailor soldier. Now, aside from the fact that it makes it improbable that she would later completely break that rule and become Cosmos anyway, it also seems unlikely that she would make this choice knowing that another war is coming. 

Crystal Tokyo symbolizes peace and an end to war, and Neo Queen Serenity laying down her arms is a reflection of that. If there is no peace, not even hope of peace, then there should not be a Neo Queen Serenity at all. Sailor Moon continues fighting as Sailor Moon before her eventual rise as Cosmos.


So in the unlikely event that Usagi still goes ahead and founds Crystal Tokyo and makes herself queen, here is another problem. If Neo Queen Serenity had the ability all along to become Sailor Cosmos, or a sailor soldier by any name, then why did she not do it when Wiseman nearly destroyed Earth?

And if she doesn’t have that ability, as canon says, then she’s screwed here. She can’t fight herself. There is no Chibi Usa to steal the ginzuishou and make her vulnerable, but there is also no Chibi Usa to go back in time and get help. 


Note that this all of this is the case regardless of whether Sailor Cosmos is Usagi of the future or Usagi’s descendant or some other future sailor senshi. The only explanation that makes sense is if Sailor Cosmos is from an alternate future. And it all goes back to that one choice that Usagi made over the Galaxy Cauldron.

Destroy the Cauldron, or let the Cauldron remain tainted? This is the choice that splinters the future off into two horrific possibilities. A future of war, or no future at all?

Sailor Cosmos went back in time because she thought she made the wrong choice. That an end to birth is better than endless suffering.

Usagi chooses a third option. She chooses to throw herself into the Cauldron instead, uniting the star seeds and purifying it of Chaos.

That is what brings everybody back to life. That unknown third option. That is the future that brings Neo Queen Serenity and Crystal Tokyo. The return of peace, and balance, and life. 

Thus, the only future that we know in Sailor Moon, the only one that can possibly exist with canon as we know it, is the future in which there is no reason for Sailor Cosmos to exist. Chaos was defeated before Crystal Tokyo ever began.