seraphim social

*zefrank voice*

And now for indisputably 100% pure organic free-range facts about Markiplier.

1. He is not a man, but a mech piloted by a puppy.

2. Every time a Darkiplier is born a chill goes down his spine and his shadow gets just a little bit darker. This is why he randomly goes “BLEARGH” in some videos.

3. Every time Mark cries in a vlog a new galaxy is born.

4. When he was born the first thing Mark did was tell the attending nurse to shut up.

5. Markiplier’s mom invented baby ducks.

6. Markiplier’s voice will continue to get deeper as he ages until eventually only elephants will be able to hear him.

7. Markiplier does not cry regular tears, he cries Fireball droplets.

8. Markiplier is now so suffused with hot sauce that if a snake were to bite him it would explode immediately.

9. Slenderman has nightmares about Markiplier screaming at him.

10. Markiplier’s friend Bob is actually the ruler of a parallel universe. Wade is a time-traveler.

11. Markiplier’s hair is actually a separate being entirely. It’s name is Steve.

12. If you say Markiplier’s name 3 times into a mirror at midnight, Wilford Warfstache will show up and shoot you.

13. Markiplier is able to see everything on Tumblr because he hired a Seraphim to be his social media assistant. 

Feel free to add your own facts.