Ti vogliamo tutti bene, Fortunata. E ti vogliamo bene perché sei una gabbiana, una bella gabbiana. Non ti abbiamo contradetto quando ti abbiamo sentito stridere che eri un gatto, perché ci lusinga che tu voglia essere come noi, ma sei diversa e ci piace che tu sia diversa. Non abbiamo potuto aiutare tua madre, ma te sì. Ti abbiamo protetta fin da quando sei uscita dall'uovo. Ti abbiamo dato tutto il nostro affetto senza alcuna intenzione di fare di te un gatto. Ti vogliamo gabbiana. Sentiamo che anche tu ci vuoi bene, che siamo i tuoi amici, la tua famiglia, ed è bene tu sappia che con te abbiamo imparato qualcosa che ci riempie di orgoglio: abbiamo imparato ad apprezzare, a rispettare e ad amare un essere diverso. È molto facile accettare e amare chi è uguale a noi, ma con qualcuno che è diverso è molto difficile, e tu ci hai aiutato a farlo. Sei una gabbiana e devi seguire il tuo destino di gabbiana. Devi volare. Quando ci riuscirai, Fortunata, ti assicuro che sarai felice, e allora i tuoi sentimenti verso di noi e i nostri verso di te saranno più intensi e più belli, perché sarà l'affetto tra esseri completamente diversi.
—  Luis Sepúlveda, Storia di una gabbianella e del gatto che le insegnò a volare

Hey guysssssss!!

Just wanted to send all my ladies some love this morning!!

My bf just paid for my Equinox on Sepulveda which is the $300 a month one! There’s so many ballers there and lots of super rich daddiesssssssss!! I’m so excited. I’m going to go in my super cute yoga clothes and meet more men.

I wanted to give a lesson on proximity. A lot of women have been messaging me on how to meet rich guys. Proximity is sooooooo important. If you want to meet rich guys you have to be around them! I always go walking around on Canon in Beverly Hills, or go to really expensive steakhouses and have tea at the bar. It’s a numbers game. You just have to be around them all the time.

Next thing is rich people like really good food so learn about food and wine. Know all the decadent food like Wagyu beef, Caviar, or truffles. You can say stuff like, “I love the marbling on Wagyu Beef” or “good Caviar doesn’t pop in your mouth”.

Guys always take me to expensive restaurants because I sell them on it. I’ll say “let’s go to Catch LA because they have the best Truffle sashimi” or “let’s go to Sushi Park for Omakase Sushi for $180 a person because it’s the best sushi in town”.

My bf always lets me pick the restaurants because I hunt down the best and the most exquisite food in LA.

My nail lady told me my boyfriend will never leave me because he’s spent too much money on me. Make your guys spend a lot on you. Food, shopping, spas, etc.

I met with my married guy then went to see my Santa Barbara guy ($5k month to break up with my bf + shopping). He took me to Bacara Resort and Spa and treated me to a $400 massage and a yummy dinner.

I’m meeting this 30 year old guy that has a dispensary, jewelry shop, and 4 grow houses. We are going to lunch then shopping.

That’s another thing!! Get these guys to take you to lunch so they can take you shopping. I live near Beverly Hills and Rodeo closes at 6pm so we have to go during the day. All you NY SBs and Vegas SBs don’t have this issue.

Ok girls… let’s do an affirmation together:

“We are attracting rich, generous, and hot daddies that will love us and spoil us rotten. We are attracting $10,000 a month allowance with $100,000 car as a gift. We are full of joy and happiness. We are attracting a fulfilling life”

Good luck girls!!! Go talk to more men!!!!

You know you're from the Valley if...

Repost/Add More to the list. I’ll follow back my locals.

You know at least 3 strip clubs nearby
Marijuana collectives are almost in every block
You’ve had raspados/elotes from el paletero
You go to those swapmeets on the weekends
Know the only Walmart that has two floors is the one in Panorama City
Know the hookers are on Lankershim Blvd. and Sepulveda Blvd.
Watched the soccer games at the parks on weekends
You’ve bussed around and met some interesting characters
When it’s 2:33, you think of the 233 bus
Had someone try to sell you bootleg DVDs ON THE BUS
Walked past by street fights b/t two people
Seen little dogs walk by themselves (Where are their owners?)
Almost everyone has little dogs or Pit Bulls
Got cat called by the mechanics as you walked by (Girls)
Know a relative who sells Avon, Mary Kay, Herbalife, any door to door sales job
Tattoos are the norm
Had some drunk or high individual try to talk to you on the street
Know of the little churches from spaces that used to be stores
People on street corners giving you business cards to clinics/taxis