september 27 2013

15 years old Artyom of Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk became very withdrawal and aggressive after sudden death of his father. He would write online that beating people is fun and everyone should try that. On 27 September 2013 he stabbed his mother six times. After doing that he strangled his bleeding but living mother with an electrical cord. Two days after the murder Artyom called his uncle and confessed to killing his mother. His uncle called the police and Artyom was arrested and charged with murder.

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“Baggage Claim” Trailer

Ang dami ko dapat ginagawa ngayon pero nakakatamad kaya wag nalang. Wala pa akong nakakabisado ni isang line dun sa talumpati namin, ni hindi ko nga alam kung anong title nun eh -.- Tapos ang dami pang tests sa monday. May quiz kami sa chemistry at ict yata tapos long tests sa pre-calculus at statistics. Tapos yung project namin sa chemistry by group na chem magic at documentary. Isa pa tong talupati sa Oct. 1 and 2 at sabayang pagbigkas, nakaka stress. Malapit narin tong periodical exam namin shet parang kakabigay palang ng cards eh, sariwang sariwa pa yung lungkot ko ng dahil sa low grades tapos periodical agad agad. Pero medyo masaya kasi malapit na teachers day. Sa Oct. 5 walang klase, malamang sabado eh tanga tanga maze? De kasi may pasok kami ng 3 sabado at wala ng sembreak pero wala naman kaming gagawin next saturday kasi yun yung teachers day kaya makikita ko nanaman yung crush ko yay hahaha landi okay.

Half day lang kami ngayong friday kaya nakapag internet ako agad. May science camp kasi yung 4th years, ngayon yung sci camp nila kasi kami last week. Pero nakaka asar kasi friday and saturday lang yung araw na naka assign sa kanila kaya medyo hayahay. Hindi nga sila pumasok ngayon kasi mamayang 1 pm pa yata yung pasok nila. Kaninang umaga akala ko late na kami ng sister ko kasi pagpasok namin naka pila yung mga students sa baba tapos sinasayaw yung wellness dance, kala ko late na talaga ako pero hindi naman talaga -.- oa lang nila kasi nagsimula agad tss. Ang boring nga kasi walang 4th year students puro lower years yung kasama namin, di ko tuloy nakita si crush :( what hahaha landi. Tapos nag-mass kami pagkatapos. Buti nalang maaga uwian namin, 11:30 am. Wala din namang masyadong ginawa. Halos kwentuhan lang naman kasi sandali lang din yung oras namin. Yung klasse namin informal haha parang kuwentuhan lang talaga. Grabe ang konti parin namin sa room kasi yung iba absent tapso yung iba varsity naman kaya yun. Tapos yun naguwian na. At aba gusto pa nila akong maging model student ha? grabe teh. Porket mahaba buhok haha, ge pang- cream silk daw kasi dapat wew. Dapat nga sasama pa ako kila zian sa bahay nila kaso wag na, mag a-upload pa ako ng napakaraming pictures haha obligasyon eh noh. At least na upload narin sa wakas. Medyo nakakapagod din ano. 

If I could spend my life doing nothing but going to concerts, I would be the happiest person.

My first concert was Fun. in New York City this July and it kinda got me obsessed. In August I saw the Beach Boys. In October I’m seeing Vampire Weekend. In November I’m seeing Pink.

But in 6 days I’m seeing Fall Out Boy and Panic! at the Disco. I feel so lucky. I wish everyone could go to a concert at least once. It’s honestly the best experience ever.

I was worried at first it was just going to be like listening to music but louder and surrounded by rude people without any room to breathe. But no.

The band is so excited to be there. They talk to everyone like they’re family they just haven’t seen for a while. And you believe them when they say you’re amazing. And you feel like a part of this great big thing everyone there is. And you smile at people there because you know them in a really intimate way because you share a love for this band. And the music is beautiful.

At the Fun. concert, Nate Ruess was saying how the album was written in NYC and how he felt that it was right for them to be there. And it rained. And he said he was really glad it rained. And it felt really personal. 

And I’m sorry if none of this makes sense. I just haven’t been able to put it into words. And I’m sorry it’s so long and not very well written and I really hope it doesn’t seem like I’m trying to brag or complain or whine or anything because I’m just trying to explain because maybe someone else knows what I’m trying to say. And I know most people won’t read this whole thing. I don’t mind. I just hope someone does. 

I’ve never been this excited before. I’m not exaggerating, I cannot remember a time I have ever felt this way. It’s like a whole new emotion. I wasn’t this excited for Fun. because like I said I was expecting it to be kind of uncomfortable. But now I know. And I’ve been looking through pics and videos from FOB’s past concerts on here and I can’t wait to meet all of you.

Fear Is An Open Door

(October 12, 2014. Summerville Psychiatric Hospital for Extended Stay Patients. Interview of Elizabeth Hope Porter, age 17, admitted on September 27, 2013 by force via parental signature and doctor recommendation, currently undergoing treatment for acute delusional disorder and schizophrenia. Dictated by Porter, recorded, and transcribed for records and training purposes.)

Hello. Can you hear me? The doctor told me to talk into this little tape recorder. Sorry if it’s a little hard to hear me – I can’t move very far in my jacket, and my feet and chair are strapped to the floor. I’m kind of stretching to reach the microphone. Well, the doctors behind the window are giving me the thumbs-up, so I guess that means everything’s fine. High quality mic. I should probably start now, right? Yep, they’re nodding.

Keep reading

September 27, 2013

I woke up today saying , once again, that I would forget you.
It’s been five days since I last visited your blog.
It’s been three days since I last opened a photo of you.
It’s been five minutes since I last thought of you smiling.

October 09, 2013

This is not working.
Your name keeps spinning in my head.
Your voice keeps screaming in my ears.

October 29, 2013

I tried to meet someone new today.
She has dark brown eyes just like you.
This may work.

October 30, 2013

She thinks that Harry Potter is a cartoon.
This is so not going to work.
And I keep trying to see you in her.
I can’t keep doing this.

November 14, 2013

I give up.
Every girl I try to meet doesn’t look nothing like you.
They don’t tell me racist jokes.
They don’t talk about books.
They don’t write like you.
They’re not smart like you are.
Please, come back and tell me that you are okay.

November 30, 2013

Today I saw you with him.
You look happy so I’m happy too.
I’m happy for you. Just for you.

December 12, 2013

It still hurts to see you with him.
But you look happy and I know I have to let you go.
But I am afraid. Because I know I will never find someone like
you.
And I am afraid to find someone like you.
I don’t want to replace you.

December 18, 2013

I still haven’t found a way to let you go.
But I will keep trying I promise.

December 22, 2013

I’m starting to understand how to let you go.
I am seeing you slowly going away.
I will not try to stop you.
I understand now.
It wasn’t you that I needed to set free.
It was me.

—  Short parts of me that you will never know by Mariana Seabra