Honey I bet you thought you could just slip this under the radar like it never happened @coolbendyuniverse YOU CAN’T HIDE ANYTHING FROM ME I AM GOING TO LOVE ALL OF IT WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT GOOD JOB @mm6663 FOR DIGGING THIS UP!
remember, five years ago when you crawled inside a hatch somewhere deep inside yourself and locked the door?
you were only going to survive for so long. your days have been numbered since the first of many times you sat on the kitchen floor shaking and sobbing with pills in your hands. you can’t help but feel like your story is coming to its inevitable close.
a year and a week. that’s how long it has been since you last spoke to me. longer than we were ever friends for. it stuns me still, it hurts me still, but i know i am so much better off without you.
it was as hard as any break up could possibly be. it doesn’t matter we never were anything more than friends. it tore me to pieces i didn’t even know i was made of. it broke me down to the very basis of my being and tested every ounce of who i am.
i knew i was strong before you did what you did to me. there were times that i didn’t believe i had what it takes to be even stronger. but i did. i do.
you left me for the enticement of drugs and alcohol and the rush that you get with them. that’s the only thing i can guess. you shattered a life you thought you were protecting. but i scrounged on the ground and picked up the shards, my hands and knees and heart bleeding from the pieces. but they scabbed, flaked, slowly and surely healed. yes, they scarred, but they healed.
to the next person who breaks my heart, i know how long it takes to get better now. i know it won’t always be entirely better. some days the hurt is just there for no reason, dull and numbing. but most days it’s entirely gone. you’re entirely gone. when i see you walk down the street, i just want to scream and laugh and tell you how much better i am than i ever was when you were in my life.
i am my own person, and god am i strong.
in a twisted way, thank you for being such a horrible person. it made me find people who truly care about me and who truly make me happy. and who knows if i would have found them without what you did.
i pray you don’t ever do this to anyone else. no one on this planet deserves it.