sentient toasters

Cute headcanons for @kayvsworld because a lot of bad AoU memories left a bitter taste.

1. Tony spends hours teaching his bots to do claw handshakes after the first fist bump. Dum E and U have an elaborate one that fascinates Butterfingers who really has a reason for that name.

2. Once when Rhodey slept over at Tony’s place, he and JARVIS got into a sing-off. Tony made that his emergency ringtone because you really cannot ignore it.

3. Both Pepper and Tony don’t know to cook well. The first time they tried cooking together, there was batter dripping from the walls, Pepper was sitting on top of the fridge while fending off a sentient toaster, and Tony was floating on his boots trying to catch burnt pancakes that fell from the ceiling. Unfortunately it was for Rhodey’s birthday. Happy shooed them both out and whipped up a gourmet meal.

4. Tony has a huge collection of the softest and brightest socks. He loves wearing them and rubbing his feet together while watching TV.

5. JARVIS’ Christmas stocking has new blueprints of upgrades for him. Dum E whines throughout the day. JARVIS smugly reminds him of it in casual conversation.

6. Tony likes metallic crayons. He has one in his pocket at most times and if he ever has to autograph a kid’s drawing, he whips it out.

7. People think Tony is a messy eater. They’re surprised to see that Pepper is an equally messy eater; both of them stuff their faces with abandon and fight over the last slice of pizza.

8. If ever invited to a wedding, Tony stays calm till kids come in. After that you can see Tony and the kids building things in the lawn, getting their pristine dresses dirty with fun.

9. Tony goes on Candy Shower Flights during Halloween. He drops candy from the sky as he flies and always, ALWAYS makes it happen at shelters and orphanages.

10. Tony knows to braid hair, keep kids entertained and has helped out a couple of his employees who were parents if they ever brought kids to work. He definitely doesn’t mind glitter all over his suit if kids have fun.

anonymous asked:

Tony! What's the craziest invention that you have ever created? I'm curious.

Steve: That’s a long list to choose from.

Tony: Yeah we might need to put it to a vote. I make some weird stuff after I reach the 45 hour mark in the workshop.

Clint: We’re pretty sure the toaster is sentient. I think that might be a winner.

Natasha: I’d like to throw in the Roomba that now has tiny tap-dancing feet into the ring.

Sam: This may take a while.

I'm sick of all you robot bangers

There not even like able to turn into humans I could understand it then but they can’t they don’t have human forms they don’t even have faces how do you find that hot they are literally man made satelites and theirs porn. There’s legit serious porn. Of banging statilitess how messed up do you have to be like. Geez man I thought transformer fappers were weird but at least transformers look a little human but nah let little johhy put his entire dick in a machine mighty smart amazing what we have achieved
What’s next huh theirs gonna be a comic about sentient toasters and vacuum cleaners and one of them is gonna say one single meme just one fucking meme and people are gonna want him in their vaginas I don’t get it the human race is??? It’s absurd now let me tell my parent I want to bang a satellite they’d send me 2 the looney bin but if I said that in a Fandom group chat everyone would be clapping and agreeing fuck? FUCK
I just can’t believe it I can’t believe it say I did want to bang a satellite which I would never say I did how would we even do it. How. hOw. Yeah in just gonna lay my satellite boyfriend down and take off his clothes and then what do I do he doesn’t have a butt hole he doesn’t have any holes he has circuits and plexiglass if I put my bare dick on that I’d literally die that’s pain and agony and he wouldnt even enjoy it I wouldn’t enjoy it would be a bad experience for everyone and NO ONE would come to my funeral because there gonna think of me as a weirdo who bangs machines and then my boyfriend???? He’s gonna live forever without me and be stuck with the memory of accidentally killing his lover
I don’t get it I just don’t understand how you could look at a dusty heap of what? What human?? History?? and shit and be like “woah…she’s totally my type….aged and dented….made of wires….g-god” you fucking animal I’ll punch you in the tit who do you think you are sexualising a fucking satellite without its consent what?? THE FUCK??

Mr Fantastic the Roomba

okay so this is the second plushie i’ve made based off SciFiGrl47’s Toasterverse and the first one might’ve been a sentient toaster and this is a first-aid roomba so i might have a problem so what IT’S ALL HER FAULT

he doesn’t have “Mr Fantastic” written on him because i couldn’t figure out how to squeeze it in on his cute lil face so maybe this is a different roomba, one of Natasha’s minions maybe idk

i’ll be writing the pattern up for this at some point, drop me a line if you’re interested

Due to Tony’s anxiety and insomnia issues, some of his best work is created during what he calls “blackout engineering sprees.” Some of these products include a sentient toaster, an AI flowerpot Groot, and a coloring routine for DUM-ME, who likes to draw with Steve.

All Pokemon belong to a single species of memetic life form that reshapes itself to replicate concepts formed by those in its surroundings

Tentacool and Tentacruel, for example, came into existence because the idea of jellyfish existed.  However, Tentacool and Tentacruel are capable of sight, self-propelled movement, and shooting lasers, so they drove normal jellyfish to extinction and completely replaced them in the ecosystem.  The same can be said of all normal animals in the Pokemon universe.  Perhaps even the plants and fungi are actually Grass-type Pokemon, albeit with no immediate visual indicators

This memetic phenomenon extends to inanimate objects and inventions as well, but Pokemon have not yet completely replaced human appliances, likely because a sentient self-aware toaster is less desirable to the average person than a toaster that makes toast without talking back.  However, the recently developed Rotom Pokedex may indicate a future for the Pokemon world where every human construct is actually a Pokemon, shaped by the human imagination to form ever-closer partnerships, until the two species exist in an inseperable state of mutualistic symbiosis

Judging by the existence of Pokemon like Claydol and Sigilyph, which are confirmed to have been purposefully created by ancient man, this partnership has likely been developing since the first early hominids began to form abstract concepts

anonymous asked:

I kinda want to know... What do you see in your favorite ship- what is it about them together that makes you love it so?

Well to no one’s surprise, my favorite ship is Cecilos. Why? 

  • It’s godamn canon. Fuck. Yes
  • Both of the character’s involved are super complex, and you always see new sides of them. It’s like they are actual people instead of stereotypes. Woah.
  • At the same time, there is a lot left for imagination and headcanons, Meaning a lot of wonderful fan-creations! Fanfics, fanart and theories everywhere also smut heck yeah
  • Even though being canon, Cecilos does not at all follow the “omg our biggest problem is that we are gay oh noes what shall we do in this cruel society!!” it’s more “wait shit the toaster grew sentient again get the vinegar, sweetie”
  • It is not perfect. Yes- It’s the most adorable thing ever and you can clearly see that they love eachother, but it is not without issues. Despite this, there is no “villain” in the relationship, they are both ridiculous dorks and the new episode guys holy shit.
  • They actually seem like a flawed realistic couple (besides the whole universe they live in. I don’t think most people struggle with other-dimensional deserts.) and it’s wonderful to see a ship portrayed (canonly!!) the way Cecilos is.
  • All in all, it’s just great to see a canonly gay couple portrayed as actual complex people with an actual complex, lovely, weird, frustrating and adorable relationship.
  • Though Carlos get your godamn ass back to Night Vale okay thanks.

avenita  asked:

Hi, you are an amazing writer and i immediately loved all your works and i'm sorry if it bothers you to bring up an old fic but tony might have almost promised a sentient toaster to some sweet hopeful aliens, i wonder if you'd had any thoughts on that?

He totally made them their own cranky toasters.

Only to find they had no real tradition of bread.

They were very surprised to find the actual PURPOSE of toasters, as their knowledge of Calcifer came from Tony’s lab footage.  In the lab, Calcifer is either getting fixed or being tormented, but seldom doing custom Pop Tart heating.  They still think that their toasters are great, and now, multipurpose!

“Adorable mechanical pet that also lights things on fire” is harder to translate, but it sounds good in their language.