senoritis

What “Kim Possible” taught me about people...

This popular cheerleader…

is not only a straight A student, she’s outgoing, friendly, helpful, and best friends with the most unpopular kid in school. She has skills that most Olympians can only dream of and saves the world on a regular basis. All she asks for is a ride in the future.

She also suffers with social anxiety, gets nervous around her crush, worries about popularity, obsesses over clothing labels, tends to be over competitive and bossy, and overextends herself with activities.


This Jersey Rat Mullet Man…

calls everybody by annoying nicknames, left his job because they wanted him to cut his hair, and breaks into random air guitar solos.

He’s also a genius mechanical engineer. Seriously.


This dowdy looking woman…

Collects stuffed animals, bakes cookies, and is “all about cute and cuddly.”

She’s also a bio-geneticist able to genetically engineer monsters.


This distinguished looking gentleman…

pretty much became a Bond villain because he was bored and had too much money. He views villainy as a hobby and is soft spoken, affable, and polite.

He’s also an X-Games level athlete.


This freckle faced dork…

has been rejected by almost every girl in school. He loses his pants daily, struggles with grades, is an accident prone klutz, is terrified of monkeys, frequently has juvenile interests, and may smell like overripe fruit.


He’s also…


a sidekick…


a culinary whiz…


a performer…


an athlete…


someone who bucks trends…


a superhero…


a super villain… 


the answer to a prophecy…


twice…


a best friend…


a big brother…


a warrior…


the savior of the planet…


and the guy who gets the girl.

It takes them an hour of putting up appearances at the kegster before Bitty and Jack can finally sneak away. As soon as the door is closed behind them, Bitty launches himself at Jack, arms wrapped around his shoulders, hands in his hair, lips pressed against his. Jack responds enthusiastically, sliding his hands down Bitty’s back, grabbing his ass ever so briefly before picking him up by the thighs and turning them so Bitty’s back is pressed to the door.

“I missed you so much, sweetheart,” Bitty says, breaking the kiss so he can look Jack in the eye. “I’m so glad you could come.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for anything,” Jack says, kissing him again. “I wanted to kiss you so badly back in the locker room.”

Bitty laughs, a little breathless and heady since all he can feel is Jack under his hands and all he can taste is Jack’s lips, and all he can smell is Jack’s cologne and he’s actually here and not forty minutes away on the other side of a computer screen and Bitty is so stupid in love with this boy.

“I think the tadpoles had enough excitement just having you there,” Bitty says. “Goodness knows what seeing one of their teammates making out with an NHL player would’ve done to them.”

Jack laughs and kisses the side of his neck. Bitty feels his breath hitch and his heart speed up.

“It’s a good thing you couldn’t come into the locker room when you guys were in Providence,” Jack says.

“Why?” Bitty asks, peppering kisses along Jack’s jaw. Because yes, sure, he actually gets to talk to his boyfriend in person for once, but, well, there are certain things that are much better in person than they are over skype and Bitty fully intends to take advantage of them ASAP.

“Because I would’ve kissed you,” Jack says, kissing him again and pulling him away from the door. Bitty hooks his legs around Jack’s waist while Jack carries him to the bed. Just before they get there, Jack freezes.

“What?” Bitty asks, looking at the frozen expression on Jack’s face. He turns and looks at the bed and feels a flush that has nothing to do with Jack’s hands and mouth creep up his neck. “That wasn’t me.”

“Are you sure?” Jack asks, the corner of his mouth twitching.

Bitty looks at Señor Bun, sitting proudly in the centre of Bitty’s bed wearing a Zimmermann jersey. It’s one thing for Bitty to wear his boyfriend’s jersey to bed to pretend he’s there with him. It’s another to have his childhood stuffed bunny wearing his boyfriend’s jersey.

“Do you think he wants me to sign it?” Jack asks in his deadpan PR monotone.

Bitty groans and buries his face in the crook of Jack’s neck while Jack starts laughing. “Put me down so I can go kill Ransom and Holster.”

Okay okay okay but imagine this

Jack and Alicia walking around the store, Jack let’s his mom have fun picking out decorations for his apartment bc he doesn’t really care about this stuff. The only thing he picks is this lil bunny decoration thing, and Alicia is like?? Why¿ but Jack just responds “i gotta” so she’s like ok honey
She’s also v confused when Jack names the bunny Monsieur Lapin and won’t stop laughing to himself but like jack bby as long as it makes u happy

What if Bitty accidently leaves Señor Bunny at Jacks just as he’s going on a roadie. Or maybe it’s the playoffs and Jack is having a hard time so Bitty sneaks cookies AND his bunny into Jack’s bag. Of course Jack is touched, recognizing how big of a deal it was for Bitty to part from his beloved rabbit and that Bitty trusted him enough to leave Señor Bunny in his care. 

Bitty knows he’s found him when he starts getting photos of Señor doing things with the team. And the whole teams gets into it. Señor Bunny in the shower with carefully placed bubbles, wrapped in a hand towel… artfully blocking any potentially risque angles. Señor Bunny looking out over the ice from the top of the goal next with a clipboard and a stopwatch as the team practices. Señor Bunny amongst a sea of protein tubs and shaker bottles trying to lift a small hand weight, a makeshift sweatband around his ears. And finally, Señor Bunny in the Stanley Cup, swimming in confetti…. You know, stupid cute shit that the team thinks is for a little kid but is actually for their rookie’s boyfriend. 

I’m just thinking about how Bitty is just swimming in Jack mementos and I wonder what Jack has of Bitty’s. 

And if that didn’t kill you:

When they finally start their family Jack secretly has the adventures of Señor Bunny printed, framed and hung, completely surprising Bitty when they bring their little one home for the first time.