senior times

We sit awake in dreams of each other,
dreams of colour and
so much quiet.

but eventually
someone shifts position,
slides off the bed,
makes their way to the kitchen, or
the bathroom, or
the living room,

and the dream disappears.
We become human again.

—  Reena B.| Excerpt from a book i’m working on.

Things that confuse me about Star Trek:

The Enterprise-D doesn’t have a Chief Science Officer. It’s a massive ship with exploratory purposes and there’s no Chief Science Officer. Even DS9 had a Science Officer, who was assigned before anyone even knew there were new scientific opportunities there. For a ship whose purpose is finding new scientific stuff, you would think there would be a Science Officer

luv me some gay space robots………

The other reason Yurio won the Grand Prix Final

There were a lot of things about Yurio that I hated along the way, but I never hated him. In episode 3 I was legitimately disappointed to see him go, and I think it’s because he wasn’t just full of bluster. His confidence was strangely quiet, and there was clearly a lot of effort behind his determination. That’s far more than I can say for myself. I admired that.

He is also filled with a desperation that I find easy to sympathize with, and there’s a good reason for it.

Victor, who has been hogging the podium for years, is suddenly absent. Yuuri, who Yurio believes is skilled enough to dominate, is on the verge of gaining the necessary self-confidence to finally pull it off. And Yurio has advanced to the senior division just in time. He thinks that if he doesn’t win it now, now, very now, then he never will.

Yurio thinks this is his only opportunity to be truly competitive with his strengths.

He likely first became conscious of Yuuri because they share the same name, but by series start Yurio already looks to him for inspiration in a kind of artistic arms race. It’s why he gets so angry when we first meet him—he feels personally betrayed that this “Yuri” didn’t perform at his best, making a bad name for Yuris everywhere. We also see that Victor mentioning Yuuri’s retirement just before Yurio’s free skate lights a fire under him, and pushes him to perfection in order to goad Yuuri into staying.

So then we know he’s so good that he will win simply by deciding to spite someone. First of all, goddamn.

Otabek thinks back to meeting Yurio when he says he can’t do what the other skaters can, hinting that ballet has always been Yurio’s core strength as a skater. Otabek will have a long career by virtue of his physical prowess, the fact that he threw his weight behind raw athleticism—something that can be maintained regardless of age.

The other side of that coin is that Yurio feels his own time as a skater is shorter than others.

If I remember anything from watching Plushenko at Salt Lake City, this is not something most male figure skaters can do. Yurio knows that, and that as he ages his natural grace—the thing his skating is (for now) inextricably linked to—will wane.

He may rarely be the perspective character, but make no mistake, 4 is a Yurio episode. Just because Yuuri is the one speaking doesn’t mean Yurio isn’t also thinking it.

The cut that immediately follows?

And at this point Yurio has already told us exactly what he thinks of himself.

This line is everything that drives Yurio. It explains his aggression, his forward determination, and why he is initially so repulsed by agape. He needs to fight, and that is more difficult if he’s forced to admit to his own vulnerability.

(Which I have passionately posited as something Victor himself needs to do. Watch that episode again and you’ll see how hard Victor whiffs when Yurio challenges him to articulate his own agape.)

Yurio prefers only to fight, rather than face his fears and failings. It’s why we see him push so hard through his Rostelecom free program:

and why he adds more difficult elements (like raising his arms) to up his points. He is desperate.

He effectively loses access to his mentor at the Onsen on Ice competition, and at this point there is no one in his corner full-time. But he walks away emboldened.

… because I’ve always been fighting alone anyway. While Yuuri draws power from the support of those around him (and there are many), Yurio feels he has had only himself to depend on. The cinematography seems to support his opinion.

It’s no coincidence that, wise coach that he is, Yakov reaches out to his ex to help give Yurio the extra push he needs to make something of his extant talents. And from the moment he meets Lilia, Yurio is all in.

This isn’t something he even needs to consider. She’s just put words to what he was already feeling. The clock is ticking—I might as well destroy this body while I have the chance to use it.

As we’ve learned from Yuuri, one’s own opinion of oneself is not usually the most accurate. So whether or not his skills really do diminish from here on, by the end of the season he seems to have a new resolve to fight as long as he can. All because Yuuri fulfilled his end of the arms race bargain and beat Victor’s other world record.

And you can’t throw shade on someone for that if you do the same yourself. So he even avoids hypocrisy.

And whether or not Yurio believes it himself, his coaches at least believe he has become more than just a ballet dancer.

So there’s hope that he will remain competitive by continuing to evolve and broadening his strengths.

TL;DR Yurio didn’t just want to keep Yuuri from quitting. He wanted to win so badly that he (knowingly) nearly killed himself for those scores. He earned the shit out of that win and his talent and potential are terrifying.

Dear high school seniors,

Please please please stay strong. This time of year is tough for a lot of us for different reasons. Some of us are been rejected from all colleges and others are getting into their dream schools but are denied financial aid. Whatever the situation is please remember that your self-worth is much greater than this and where you are accepted (or not) does not reflect who you are. Please stay positive and remember that whatever is meant to happen will happen and you are worth so much more than some number on a paper. 

Look, it’s either that or an unholy amount of caffeine and praying to Satan. How do you spend your empty afternoons, Haruhii?

Me: aw these two are friends that’s cute, i hope it grows to romance when they’re older
Me: *looks at ages, sees they’re two and a half years apart* gee I hope their relationship slowly grows from platonic to romantic in later seasons
Me: their easy friendship and chemistry is nice and a classic start for a friends to lovers trope
me: they’ll be one of those cute senior/sophomore friendships that slowly grows as they get older
me: Gosh dang I sure do hope they have a nice and meaningful relationship and help each other grow


ONCE UPON A TIME : the reboot
by drew and menelaos

season 1, episode 10 : The Thing You Love Most

present : While everyone else mourns Graham at his funeral, an upset and restless Emma decides to investigate Regina’s home. She finds Henry’s book of tales in Regina’s dresser, planted there by Mr. Gold, and she begins to read, finding not just simple tales but a complex narrative that reflects everything Henry has been telling her about Storybrooke all along. Emma finally believes the truth and understands her role as the savior. Regina’s previous use of magic proves to have unforeseen repercussions, as it seems to have torn the fabric of the Dark Curse, and Mr. Gold witnesses the citizens of Storybrooke beginning to experience brief flashes of their past identities – and he hurries to bury the Servant’s dagger in the forest before anyone can go looking for it. David, overwhelmed with guilt and confused by the glimpses of his past, decides to end his affair with Mary Margaret and leave town. Just before he reaches the town’s border, David has a memory flash of the kiss that woke Snow White, and his car crashes into the Storybrooke sign.

past : Prince Charming awakens Snow White with true love’s kiss. A handful of years pass, and Regina now lives in exile with her aging mother, a weathered woman named Cora. The former queen has been usurped by her own stepdaughter – a tale for another time – and has watched from afar as Snow White and Charming have married, Luciana and Goldilocks have married, Robin and Marian have married, and happily ever after seems to be overflowing throughout the realm. But Regina reaches a breaking point and receives a visit from a stranger who reminds her of a Dark Curse mentioned long ago by her former magical mentor, the imprisoned imp Rumpelstiltskin, a curse that would alter the very fabric of the Land of Ever and trap everyone in a prison of time in the fabled Land Without Magic. She secretly visits him in the dungeons of Castle Misthaven and demands to know the final ingredient for the Curse. Rumpelstiltskin obliges but only on the condition that he will be provided with a life of luxury in the new land. When Regina concedes, Rumpelstiltskin reveals the sacrifice that must be made: the heart of the thing you love most. Having gone too far down this path to turn back now, Regina finally casts the Dark Curse by killing her own mother.

‘once upon a time’ stars : Charlize Theron as the Evil Queen/Regina Mills, Emily Rose as Emma Swan, Jaimie Alexander as Snow White/Mary Margaret Blanchard, Henry Cavill as Prince Charming/David Nolan, Raphael Sbarge as Jiminy Cricket/Dr. Archie Hopper, Richard Madden as the Huntsman/Sheriff Graham Buchanan, Naveen Andrews as the Magic Mirror/Sydney Glass, CJ Adams as Henry Mills, and Robert Carlyle as Rumpelstiltskin/Mr. Gold

guest stars include : Kylie Bunbury as Princess Luciana/Zoe Nolan, Mia Wasikowska as Goldilocks, Rose Leslie as Robin Hood/Ivy Langland, Antonia Thomas as Maid Marian/Matilda Fitzwalter, Julie Christie as Cora

[ previously on once upon a time ] [ next ]



Several late night conversations with @wonderfulchaos69 later…. and then this Servamp/Yuri on Ice au was born. We made it a SakuMahi love story too,  (in my opinion there are not enough SakuMahi aus.) 

Here’s summary of what we talked about for this au: (wonderfulchaos69 wrote this summary and I am gonna use it here, cause I think its a flawless way to describe it.)

Yuri on Ice AU, SakuMahi. Down on his luck skater Sakuya Watanuki has been aiming for gold for the past two years, ever since his senior debut. Four-time GPF champion Mahiru Shirota has been made that a hard task to undertake, when he always has to compete against someone so hardworking, someone so simplistic in his routines but so breathtaking to behold. He doesn’t hate Shirota, far from it, he thrives on his presence. He has the older man’s posters all over his room. He would even go as far to say that Mahiru Shirota had inspired him to start skating. So when his idol steps down from his post as “unbeatable”, announcing his retirement for undisclosed reasons, Sakuya is shocked. And then he felt so rightfully furious. When he gets to the bottom of the matter, though, he finds that Mahiru doesn’t want to give up his time on the ice - but neither can he travel with his uncle in a critical state, needing someone to look after him. That person was all Mahiru had, and the same could be said of his uncle. Deciding to take matters into his own hands, he challenges Mahiru to coach him. ‘Even without you there, I will show the world how much you love the ice.’ And that was the beginning of their time together. Their struggles and their pain, their laughter and the moments of joy they shared together. Sakuya would look back on that beginning and think, 'I am so glad he took my hand that day.’

there is still a lot of things we are working out and I still haven’t drawn some ideas we talked about…. ;w; but I will do a more later cause I have other aus to work on. The drawing above have captions too haha. Chaos will likely write some fic too. :3 yay! 

don’t worry guys I am working on bsd servamp au, it takes longer because there are so many more characters and stuff to work out yikes.

So I climbed out a car window today

So story time I was waiting in my mom’s car at cvs waiting for her to get pictures printed. The windows were fully down in the front seat and an alarm goes off if you open the door. So basically I was bored and wanted to get out, and knowing about the alarm I didn’t wanna deal with that shit so I sit there and think
What if I climb out the Window?
So at first I was like nahh not gonna happen but a few minutes later I started getting curious if I could do it so I decided fuck it let’s go for it
So I start by going feet first stomach out cause who the fuck would go head first I mean do you want a head of death I don’t, but the problem is I don’t have the leverage to get to the ground. Now at this point the parking lot is empty except for this little old lady in the car next to me but she doesn’t seem to care what I do so I start twisting around in the seat to have my butt facing out. Now, being a big girl this has been no easy process but at this point I’m halfway out so I’m seeing this shit through. By some miracle and a scrapped elbow im able to houdini my way out of the windows and somehow stuck the landing. Now at this point I’m having an adrenaline rush cause holy shit I just climbed out a car window its like I’m god damn James Bond over here and suddenly I see this woman standing next to me staring and I’m just like shit its not what it looks like I wasn’t kidnapped this isn’t the call this car is my mother’s im cool and she goes on bout her business.
So now the part when I get to go into the store and who do I run into but my mother and I’m just like hey what’s up and she’s like how the hell did you escape and I start telling this epic tale of my greatness and the cashier starts to fucking lose it and that was basically my Monday night


Let me all tell you all a little story.

I have this glorious DARK red lipstick that is so distinct and berry red and I love the shit out of it. It was expensive, but totally worth it.

Most people have firetruck red lipstick, especially for shows, because I do theatre, but ya home girl prefers the darker one because it looks better with my pale complexion. I’m generally whiter than a piece of wonder bread before it even leaves the fucking bag. Whiter than a black dude’s ashy-ass arm when he goes to the Sahara desert and forgets to make a bath and body works run. Bitch, Casper the fucking friendly ghost and I could be distant cousins.

Anyways, I spent GOOD FUCKING MONEY on some GOOD FUCKING LIPSTICK from MAC, which is expensive AS HELL. basically it’s saying: “I COULD be spending this on a DVD of Spongebob’s greatest hits, but I’m choosing to look fine as hell instead.
I WEAR THIS SHIT EVERYWHERE. and it’s nice because I have never seen anyone I know wearing the same color because it’s such a unique berry red.

So, it’s my senior year and the Show that I was in at the time was High School Musical & ONE DAY, WHILE AT MOTHERFUCKING EAST HIGH, I’m saltily getting ready to put on a show with an ungrateful, talentless lil twat playing the role that I oh so deserve…when I notice that this ungrateful lil twat’s BESTIE is wearing MY motherFUCKING lipstick. You could venture to ask: "now, how are you sure that this bitchass doesn’t just have the same color as you?”

1.) this bitch just hopped off of the hockey rink & can’t identify the difference between bobbi brown & bobby mcferrin.
2.) Aint no other lipstick as SMOOTH as this shit.
3.) Aint no other lipstick as CREAMY as this shit.
4.) Aint no other lipstick as LUSCIOUS as this shit.
5.) I saw her sneak it from my bag when she thought I wasn’t looking.

When I asked her about it, BITCH LIED TO MY DAMN FACE. She thought that she was slick but oh no, hunny, can’t pull a fast one on me, you’re goin 90 in a 45 & I got my lights on. BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKA PULL OVER.

"Oh that’s crazy that it looks so similar, I got mine from target yesterday”

“Once upon a time you were a little skankyass liar that stole my lipstick and gained 495 pounds after high school.” Karma, beyotch.

She THEN proceeded to take MY costumes (THAT I BROUGHT FROM HOME) when I wasn’t using them for different scenes. MY NICE PLAID SHIRT AND $30 SNAPBACK THAT I RELUCTANTLY BOUGHT AT SOUNDSET MUSIC FESTIVAL LAST YEAR. (Probably purchased because I was slightly secondhand high that day due to the high levels of cannabis in the air
Then the next day, I was very cautious not to let my lipstick leave my sights. I was sure to place a metaphorical neighborhood watch sticker on that girl’s soul just to inflict the fear of all humanity on her heart if she dare tried to reach for my makeup bag.

After watching her for several minutes trying to think of a way to sneak it from me, I stood quietly thinking of various counterattack methods, while also being cautious not to look at her in the eyes since my building hatred had basically given me the superpower to give the nastiest side eye in the galaxy.
Scratch that.
In the universe.
Not even die hard fan girls could produce that defined level of stink eye if someone told them that Beyoncé was equivalent to the scum beneath my shoe after running a 10k through dog shit and volunteering at a homeless shelter for men with bacterial infections on their anuses.

A few minutes in, my intense melting pot of emotions had started to come to a boil, she approaches me and says “hey, do you think I could borrow some of your lipstick? I accidentally left mine at home”

I then calmly & sassily responded with: “Rachel, I know for a damn fact that you’ve been using mine like this whole time"

“oh no, it just totally slipped my mind this morning and I forgot to grab mine. I told you that ours are similar. So can I borrow yours?”

Then I let the dirtiest look I could possibly muster fly & said "sorry, I don’t share. But it’s a good think you haven’t been using mine. I had mouth herpes for the last 3 weeks.” And walked away.

I swear to Jesus every time I saw her in the halls for the next two weeks, I could almost see a nerve of terror striking her from the top of her head all the way to the distal ends of her toes.

And that, children, was the most satisfying hallway saunter I have ever had in my entire high school career.


Do y’all understand what kind of age difference there actually is between Yuri and Otabek?

Two and a half years. 

It’s literally the same as a high school sophomore dating a high school senior. 

Happens all the time both in anime and real life. 

Unless the same people who make a big to do about this pairing were uncomfortable watching Ouran High School Host Club because of the age difference between Haruhi and Tamaki (because it was the exact same difference) then you really need to CHILL. 

Running the federal government is something new for him, for sure.

Trump often asks simple questions about policies, proposals and personnel. And, when discussions get bogged down in details, the president has been known to quickly change the subject — to “seem in control at all times,” one senior government official said — or direct questions about details to his chief strategist Steve Bannon, his son-in-law Jared Kushner or House Speaker Paul Ryan. Trump has privately expressed disbelief over the ability of judges, bureaucrats or lawmakers to delay — or even stop — him from filling positions and implementing policies.

Being president is harder than Donald Trump thought, according to aides and allies who say that he’s growing increasingly frustrated with the challenges of running the massive federal bureaucracy.