Water fights: TG edition
This is actually based off a movie I saw a while ago, and I suddenly remembered it yesterday and thought, Huh. Touken baby would so do this. And thus, this submission was created at 11:30pm.
-Lets just pretend that GOAT has accomplished their goal and Touka and Kaneki are living on the surface with their baby in a nice home with daily visits from the GOAT Fam.
-Also, the kid is a boy in this story and he’s like 5-6 years old.
-Touka and Kaneki need to do some landscaping on their home and their friends/family lend a hand. Everyone’s working in the backyard, putting in some new flowers and a garden and such. (Mind you, I actually have no idea about landscaping so I’m just using some generic terms)
-The son begrudgingly helps after some threats of no dessert from Mama Touka. And what Mama Touka says goes without question.
-In the midst of landscaping, Touka and Kaneki suddenly realize they forgot to buy a certain thing needed for landscaping so they go on a quick errand, leaving everyone outside for just fifteen minutes. Kaneki would’ve gone by himself, but Touka didn’t trust him to get the right product so she went too.
-So the brat whines and complains while holding up a hose real quick for Aunt Hinami, who is busy gardening to realize the disaster her nephew is about to start. He accidentally starts the hose, and ice cold water blasts Naki, of all people, in the face, drenching the expensive suit he decided to wear while landscaping?? (Naki, what are you doing?
-Naki is of course pissed and immediately blames the first person he believes would do such a thing.
-“Oi, shitty Ayato, what’d you do that for?!”
-Ayato, who was minding his business and helping garden, is confused as hell.
-“What are you talking about, dumbass? I didn’t do anything!”
-Naki doesn’t believe this and grabs another hose and blasts it, aiming at Ayato. But the latter quickly dodges in time and the water sprays Akira and Hinami instead.
-They both slowly turn and stare at Naki in the most terrifyingly cold way possible. Because you see, one does not simply spray icy water at HINAMI and AKIRA and expect to live.
-The two badass ladies just walk towards Naki, who is seemingly oblivious to his near death, and dump two buckets of water over his head. Well, they intended to but Naki, in a split second, grabbed Nishiki and used him as a body shield. So Nishiki was drenched instead.
-“AHH!!! WHAT THE HELL, WOMEN?! IM FUCKING FREEZING! NAKI, YOU IDIOT!”
-Nishiki quickly grabs Kurona, Hirako and Tsukiyama to help him fuck shit up while Naki gets his fellow White Suits to help against the group of Akira, Hinami, Ayato, and now Amon, Seidou and Miza.
Naki: “Old lady?! I thought you were on my side!”
Miza: “I’m not on anyone’s side; Hina just grabbed me and said ‘We’re getting revenge.’”
-Also, at this point, the Touken baby is just standing to the side in shock of what just escalated and joy in seeing a water fight breaking out. Seriously, people are getting water guns and water balloons and attacking each other. He doesn’t even join any side, just running around, screaming and shooting everyone with water guns.
-The Zero Squad children, precious babies, are having a contest amongst each other on who can get the most people with their water weapons. It’s a three-way tie for the most part.
-Tsukiyama is laughing like a maniac and shouting French while using a catapult he threw together at last minute to launch water balloons.
-Meanwhile some ordinary human neighbors are concerned at the constant screams and death threats and show up at the door asking what’s going on.
-Fortunately, Yomo answers the door and with the most blank face, he deadpans: “Just the result of combining ghouls, former doves, and landscaping.” They leave with even more questions.
-So this goes on for a while until the King arrives. And. He. Is. Not. Happy.
-Everyone freezes in their tracks and immediately, the laughter and screams die out. Like, holy shit, they completely forgot that Kaneki and, even worse, Touka were back.
-Already the kid is spewing out some apology about how it was all an accident and he didn’t mean to start a war, but Kaneki just shakes his head and starts a lecture about how everyone was in the wrong, and how they made a huge mess, and how irresponsible they were, yadda yadda.
-Everyone’s just bowing their heads like a kid caught lying. No one notices the tiniest hint of a smirk on Kaneki’s face, which only grows bigger as he goes on with his speech.
-Suddenly frigid water erupts and sprays everyone, from the sprinklers in the yard. Everyone’s like freaking the hell out and panicking while Kaneki’s laughing his ass off.
-A very smug looking Touka comes out of nowhere and high-fives her husband before they both burst out in hysterics. Turns out she secretly turned on the sprinklers while Kaneki distracted everyone with a faux lecture. #PowerCouple.
-“Looks like we win,” Touka declares, smirking even more at the awestruck and annoyed look on her son’s face.
-Soon everyone joins in on the smiles and laughs, because they have to admit it was well-played.
-So everyone’s laughing and trading “good game” remarks and “all’s well that ends well”, right?
-Wrong. Everything is going fine until a comment from Touka.
“Now you all have an hour to clean this up and finish helping us landscape before I kick your asses all the way to next Sunday.”
This is lovely and you should feel lovely for submitting this to us!