semi self portrait

Starting out with the intention of becoming reacquainted with my self-portraiteur and accidentally ending up taking outfit photos; which I have rarely ever done.

Getting to know my body as it is now… More disabled and much smaller than before, I feel like a stranger some days. Simultaneously learning to shed shame and embarrassment of doing things that make people stare. Even when I appeared fully able-bodied I struggled with this. Far too much scrutiny on the individual, at the same time, much of it is self inflicted.

Your favorite song 
is Tracy Chapman’s Fast Car.
Fall is your favorite season because it means
new notebooks, maybe a new pair of shoes
if your mom gets that second job; starting over. 
Every book you borrow from the library
is about someone getting out out of their suffocating life.
You steal your favorites.
You are 16, afraid of turning every corner and hungry. 
Digging into your coat pocket you find
gum wrappers and crumpled receipts,
but never any money.
In the bath, you put your head under water
and  count how many seconds you
can hold your breath. 
You have never been able to beat eleven and 
this seems like a failure to you. 
You tried to run away from home as a kid
but came back after an hour  
because no one had noticed you were gone.
You want attention however you can get it
and will destroy yourself if it means
finally being looked at.
—  Sixteen, Lora Mathis

After long time I did pencil shading with so patience…..
Self portrait Completed…
It’s my way of revealing my face to my art Account…
Hope you like the art …
Plz ignore the face if not up to the perfection….
Suggestions and critics on shading and portrait are much appreciated…
Thank you… all the pros in field of portrait drawing…help me with your wisdom plz….

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sometimes i feel like tumblrs idea of “art” is so weird like there’s so much pressure to develop a style and that style almost always ends up being something cartoony that strikes just between full out cartoon and uncanny valley and that’s. it unless you get into like they weird anime stuff where it’s drawn super cartoony but then has hyper realistic shading and it’s just. odd. and it’s all fan art or like super emo vent art. and then i go to the local art gallery and it’s all realism or between realism and uncanny valley or the other way around, all original subjects. also soap for some reason there’s always a lot of homemade soap for sale. and like they’re making hundreds of dollars a piece for this stuff but then again you see people charging 60 for commissions on here. and i go to art class and we turn in our assignments and my friend gets the same grade in their homestuck fan art that i get on my realistic drawings and it’s just like “would u look at that” cause art is made up anyway.