semi illegal

anonymous asked:

matt and sam holt invited shiro to go golfing with them once before the kerberos mission can you please describe what happened its for Science™

Matt, Commander Holt, and Shiro go golfing to Bond™ before the Kerberos Mission, oh my god. This is the stuff of dreams.

  • Shiro has never gone golfing once in his life. He was shocked to learn that Arnold Palmer was a real person.
  • Shiro: Hey so do I wear, like, the outfit?
    Matt: What?
    Shiro: You know, the outfit. With the little hat and the white pants that are kinda like capris?
    Matt: ………
    Matt: Yes. You have to wear the outfit. It’s essential to the golfing experience.
  • All three of them wear the Golf Outfits. Commander Holt and Shiro don’t get why Matt is taking so many selfies.
    • Commander Holt is wearing a pea green argyle vest. 
  • They all pile into the golf cart. Shiro insists on driving because he’s the pilot for the mission.
    • Matt and Commander Holt decide their ride doesn’t go fast enough and they make Shiro pull over behind some random shack so they can do semi-illegal modifications to it. They make Shiro stand guard while they prop open the hood.
  • Matt falls into the lake.
  • He does this three times.
  • (TBF, one of those times happened because Shiro chased after him in the golf cart and Matt was scared for his life.)
  • Commander Holt is Ridiculously Strong and keeps whopping his golf balls directly into the sun. And then he can’t find them, so he makes Matt go into the lake to fish up some spares.
    • Commander Holt: Well boys, it appears that I’ve lost my balls :/
    • Shiro: (to Matt) Can he legally say that to us??
  • All three of them are constantly doing the golf clap. Shiro comes out of the bathroom and the Holts are there waiting for him, politely cheering him on.
  • Commander Holt is like. Blatantly cheating. But Matt and Shiro don’t know enough about golf to call him out on it.
    • Commander Holt: Okay, so, because I accidentally hit that bird, that counts as a birdie!
    • Matt: What? That has got to be fake.
    • Commander Holt: Oh yeah? Why else would it be called a birdie, Matt?
    • Shiro: That doesn’t sound right, but I don’t know enough about golf to dispute it.
  • Shiro keeps trying to run Matt over with the New And Improved golf cart and Matt flips out and tries to fend it off with his golf clubs. They break. The golf cart remains unyielding.
    • Shiro: WITNESS ME
  • Studyblrs: Aesthetic, tidy desk. Motivational posters. A single shot of espresso. Neatly written notes and diagrams. A single fountain pen.
  • Me: Hasn't slept in three days. Desk is covered in Red Bull cans, semi-illegal brain stimulants and half a bottle of wine. $50 worth of printed out papers covered in my illegible scrawl. Dollar store biros on the floor.

Okay, but did anyone else think that Kingsman was basically a Clint/Coulson fic??

- Lower class rebel with abusive parent does illegal/semi-illegal shit
- Suave older man in a suit bails him out and tries to get him to join an espionage agency
- Lower class rebel gets into fights with other agents about his background
- Befriends ruthless woman who becomes his BFF
- Suave older spy gets killed by villain while trying to stop him single handedly
- Angst
- (But everyone in fandom knows suave older spy isn’t actually dead)

+ bonus
- Cute dog lower class rebel has a soft spot for
- Lower class rebel was once in the armed forces
- Samuel L Jackson appears

anonymous asked:

Any reasons why a princess don't want to be one?

any ideas why a princess would become a criminal or thief?

why would Person X hunt the princess? what does person X want from the princess or did the princess something that person X didn’t like?

(These were all sent in as separate questions anonymously but I have a feeling they’re all from the same person)

  • A princess who has a taste for rebelling and breaking the law becomes a thief, but one night she steals something for someone she should not have stolen from. It doesn’t help that this person already has a burning hatred for the royal family.
  • The princess feels that she’s been groomed for a future she can’t handle. She sneaks out one night and befriends a thief, then regularly goes to hang out with her. This thief lets it slip to other less friendly criminals that he meets the princess sometimes. 
  • The princess wants to be someone, to travel, to learn, but she’s kept on a leash. She leaves and survives through some semi-illegal ways and builds a following, like her own mini kingdom in a small village. The people that used to run this village aren’t happy.

Mix and match and expand or change as you’d like.

anonymous asked:

Hey i love your blog ! i think your probably my favorite voltron bloggers out there! anyway what i wanted to say was i thought of this awesome AU idea, ok so imagine a personality swap between lance and keith, or maybe not even like a personality but a role swap. so like keith and hunk were friends and on a team together at the academy and Lance was the one who was kicked out.

O SHIT I LOVE ROLE SWAP AUS. This turned out so long, I am so unbelievably sorry.

  • Okay so first off, I’m gonna start with Lance’s role. For all his flaws, Lance isn’t a bad kid. He wouldn’t be kicked out of the Garrison. No, I’m going to take Lance’s canon-homesickness, and have that be the reason why he leaves.
    • IDK, maybe Lance’s mom gets in an accident/is really sick, and Lance is like I Gotta Be There For My Family. Also, Lance is starting to realize that the Garrison isn’t really living up to his expectations; namely, he kind of sucks as a pilot. So homesickness + stress + an accident back home is ultimately what pushes Lance over the edge, and he heads back home.
  • This would have happened in their first/second year of school, so Lance and Hunk are already friends. They exchange numbers and promise to keep in contact, even though the Garrison probably ‘discourages’ contact with the outside world considering it’s a military based school and everything. Lol. Fuck you Garrison you can’t stop this bromance.
  • I HC that one of the reasons why Keith was booted from the Academy was because he was like Pidge and very ‘vocal’ about how the Kerberos Mission was being covered up. 
    • Except instead of sneaking around like Pidge and hacking, Keith took the more direct and aggressive route and like. Tried to scare the answers out of some government people which obviously was not tolerated so that’s why Keith was booted.
  • Obviously, in this AU Keith manages to cool his jets and stays with the Garrison. But he’s Keith and he doesn’t know when to back down, so I bet he spends the next year saying lowkey mutinous things about the Garrison ALL THE TIME. All of his roommates, including Hunk, are sick of it lol. 
  • Hunk, by virtue of missing Lance, finds himself feeling so lonely that he actually befriends Keith, just so the two of them have someone to actually talk to.
    • Hunk and Keith’s friendship is like… It’s not bad, but it’s nowhere near as comfortable and familiar as Hunk’s and Lance’s was. Hunk is very hesitant and unsure of himself, and Keith has almost zero patience at this point in his life (he’s very stressed about Shiro). Keith snaps a lot and Hunk either withdraws into himself or snaps back. Keith always makes sure to apologize. He’s just not that good at this whole ‘friendship’ thing, which Hunk is very understanding about. Keith has no words to describe how grateful he is that Hunk saw something good enough in him to befriend.
    • If there’s one thing about Keith that Hunk appreciates, it’s that Keith knows how to be quiet. Lance, bless his heart, was not always the greatest listener, but he did offer pretty good advice. Keith is the opposite; he listens to Hunk ramble, and at the end of it awkwardly pats Hunk on the back and says, “That’s rough buddy.” But Keith is trying, and that’s all that matters to Hunk. So yeah. Keith and Hunk are buddies in this AU.
  • Lance and Hunk have semi-illegal Skype chats at least once a week, and once Hunk befriends him Keith starts tagging along because Hunk is TERRIBLE at keeping secrets, and also he wants his two friends to get along! :)
    • Lance is INCENSED that Hunk befriended Keith like first Keith stole Lance’s ‘rightful’ place as the best pilot and now Mullet Head is stealing his best friend? “IS NOTHING SACRED!!!” Lance yells at least ten times the first time they group-Skyped.
    • So at first Keith/Lance are constantly going at it over Skype, arguing and shit, but as the months pass both realize it’s exhausting?? Yelling at someone who is thousands of miles away?? So they both kind of cool off and now nitpick each other out of love. Hunk is thankful.
  • The next school year (the one episode 1 takes place in), Keith and Hunk request to be on the same team. Everyone at the Garrison is like ??? because star pilot Keith wants to partner up with no-name Hunk? Keith could have the pick of the litter and he chooses Hunk??
    • Keith FIGHTS anyone who says Hunk isn’t good enough, because Keith knows that Hunk is brilliant he’s just too nervous to ever say anything, and Keith is so!!! Overprotective of his friend!!! I love him. Sorry this is turning out to be really Heith-y, I’m sorry lol.
  • Anyway. ENTER PIDGE.
  • Okay, so Pidge entering the Garrison happens pretty much as in canon. They go undercover as a boy to infiltrate and find find info about their dad/brother, and in the process find themselves assigned to Keith and Hunk’s team.
    • This is where things start to diverge from canon. Within like five minutes of meeting, Pidge notices that Keith is CONSTANTLY bitching about the Garrison and how they handled the Kerberos Mission. At this point Hunk just knows to nod along and smile, because Keith is a hardcore conspiracy theorist. But Pidge is like:
  • So Pidge and Keith are both like!!!!! Fellow conspiracy theorist!!! The Garrison sucks!!!! But then they both pause and are like wait. Why are you so invested in the Kerberos Mission? And that’s when Pidge spills the beans and Keith spills his beans and Hunk is just like :o
    • Ok the reveal happens over the course of a few months but I digress. Anyway in this AU Keith and Pidge become pretty close because the tightest friendships are the ones that are forged in the fires of SHARED SPITE FOR SOMEONE. #DownWithTheGarrison lol
  • After Keith/Pidge/Hunk become tight, Pidge is invited along to Skype with Lance. Just like in canon, Lance never realizes that Pidge is actually a girl, but because he calls everyone ‘dude’ everyone just assumed that he knew?? And then months later, when Pidge confesses to Allura/Coran (who were supposedly the only two still in the dark) Lance is STILL the only person surprised at the revelation. 
    • “Lance how could you not know we’ve known each other for months??” 
      “Ok in my defense Hunk owns a SHIT webcamera alright that’s my claim and I’m sticking to it”
  • This is becoming really long so I’ll try to wrap it up. The summer before Keith/Pidge/Hunk begin teaming up to #expose the Garrison, back home Lance was beginning to realize that he’d essentially just dropped out of college and he was panicking as he tried to figure out his future. His family was very supportive, but they could only take so much of an anxious Lance, so they basically told him to ‘go on a road trip of self-discovery’ and Lance went.
  • Blah blah blah, Lance goes around the country, every time Hunk has a rare day off at the Garrison Lance always drives down to meet him, etc. But the longer Lance hangs out around the Garrison the more drawn he feels to the desert? (HM I WONDER WHY.)
  • Ok long story short, Lance somehow finds Blue thanks to their soul connection or whatev just in time for Shiro to crash down to Earth, blah blah blah everyone meets up and canon proceeds as normal. There are some changes in how everyone interacts though lol send me another ask if u wanna know more lmao this is so long already

anonymous asked:

hi, i hope you're feeling better! i've had a pretty stressful week between school and work, so i was wondering if u could request some happy/fluffy jaytim headcanons?

I’m so sorry this is so late babe!! I hope things are lot less crazy and that you’re feeling better now!!! I’ve actually done jaytim headcanons before, but it’s a fun ship and they’re both characters I really enjoy writing about, so have some more:

  • Their first kiss was in the middle of a thunderstorm. They’d been forced to collaborate to stop a certain human trafficking gang, and it left them both beaten and bloody, watching from a rooftop as police officers arrested the criminals. Jason’s nose was bleeding when he turned to Tim with a grin and made a comment about how the rain was like something out of a romance movie.
  • “So what, are you going to kiss me?”
  • “Do you want me to?”
  • “What do you think?”
  • Jason and Stephanie are best friends, which you would think would be awkward for Tim, but he loves it. Stephanie is probably the best third wheel in the world, and the three of them have a lot of crazy semi-illegal adventures that no one is allowed to tell Bruce or Dick about under any circumstances.
  • Jason is highly offended by how few literary classics Tim has read (”Seriously, I thought you said you went to one of the best private schools in Gotham. And you’re telling me To Kill a Mockingbird wasn’t on any of your summer reading lists?”) and his solution is to refuse to cuddle unless Tim lets him read aloud to him.
  • Whenever Tim stays over at Jason’s place, he borrows some of Jason’s clothes to sleep in. They are way too big for him. It’s adorable. Jason is struggling.
  • This does not work in reverse, because Tim’s clothes are all way too small for tall, beefy Jason. So when Jason stays over at Tim’s, he has to sleep in just his boxers and Tim s u f f e r s
  • At first Jason is under constant scrutiny from Batdad and Nightbro, because they’re just waiting for him to do Tim wrong, but he actually treats him really, really well??? Their relationship also helps to clear the bad blood between Jason and the Batfamily and allow him to work more closely with them. 
  • Who knew that the infamous Red Hood was one for romantic gestures? Sure, the roses were probably purchased with drug money, but it’s the thought that counts. 
Saviors Trivia Dump

Because someone on my stream was saying that they really enjoyed when I just poured out a bunch of random details about my stories.  So here.  Have some trivia, I guess? XD

  • The geneticist who created the first generation of clones was an eccentric billionaire with severely dissociated separate personalities, one male and one female.  Overall, they went by the name of Dr. Calmasis.

Keep reading


As someone born and raised in a socialist country, I grew up thinking it was kinda nice. And it was. For a good while it was. But then they ran out of money, and they raised taxes on everybody, and the poor people got poorer, and they raised taxes again. And there still wasn’t enough money, so they cut into the healthcare budget, and into education. And there still wasn’t enough money, because the economy elsewhere collapsed and being a socialist country, they had to go help. So they raised taxes again, and made it illegal to make money in different ways such as renting out a room in your house. They raised taxes again, and now the same people that were supposed to be helped are poorer than they started out. People got angry and expressed concern, so they made it semi illegal to express those concerns - belittling the people, and telling us that those concerns were thinly veiled racism, xenophobia, greed.
There are places and special phone numbers now, where you (anonymously) can tell on your neighbors if they dare rent out a room, smoke around their children, let their kids use Facebook under the age of 16, grow too many plants, leave their cats alone for too long, sell too many things on eBay. And it’s all for safety, and they all have your best interest in mind, but from the outside looking in now I can see that everything people were afraid of during the Cold War is happening, and most people are too blind to see it. Blinded by their ‘free’ stuff. It’s getting out of hand.

My mother told me today, that she finds America to be a strange place. Confusing at times, and overwhelming. But that it’s better, much better than at home. That I dodged a bullet by moving here. And she’s not very excited to “return to that communist hell scape”. The iron curtain is moving west, and some of y'all seriously can’t wait for it to get here.

consuelodoodles  asked:

What is Shadow the Hedgehog's biggest guilty pleasure food?

(I didn’t forget– still got a bunch of these GOTF questions to go through! I’ll try to ramp it up over the weekend, get through a bunch)

As an unexpected side effect of his age, Shadow’s palette has become desensitized to most flavors and flavor combinations. So when he’s looking for something interesting or enjoyable, he usually goes for extremes– like “this is probably corroding your internal organs” extreme. Extremely aged or pickled meats/fish (like the “buried in a hole for six months” sort), cheese that has maggots in it, super-spicy peppers– trouble being, these are all expensive (or semi-illegal) gourmet items, and Shadow is a huge cheapskate. 

So, that means he’s either got to buy in bulk and/or make “interesting” combinations with more readily-available food. Shadow’s current favorite is putting peanut butter on supermarket sushi, and soaking it in energy drinks. And since when he wants food he usually wants a LOT of it, picture him buying that stuff like this:

The small child on the cart is Silver. Sonic has been missing since they passed the shoe aisle.

Also, to answer Shadowluver1242′s related question, we don’t currently have plans to show Shadow’s “eating day” (unfortunately), but if it comes up I’d love to mess around with the concept some more!

If...Then Expanded Orange is the New Black Edition

So I’m still trying to catch up with Orange is the New Black and, in honor of my new obsession, this post is dedicated to recommend books based on your favorite Litchfield inmate. (note: I haven’t read 100% of these which sounds lazy, but they have been recommended to me by trusted advisors.)

If your favorite inmate is Piper Chapman

She is the protagonist after all. You love the culture clash between her experiences as a Brooklyn yuppie and her poorer fellow inmates. To learn more about her in real life, why not try reading Orange is the New Black by Piper Kerman, the book that started it all?

If your favorite inmate is Alex Vause…

You have a weakness for hot ladies that spend their lives jetsetting around the globe and doing illegal or semi-legal things. For you, the glamour outweighs the risk. Why not try Some Girls: My Life in a Harem by Jillian Lauren, who found herself in the harem of the sultan of Brunei? Not an intellectual read, but fun and reminiscent of a certain expensive lifestyle Ms. Vause enjoyed.

If your favorite inmate was Vee…

Are you Suzanne by any chance? All jokes aside, you don’t necessarily like Vee as a person, but you admire the way she manipulates everyone around her. You’re interested in the way her twisted psychopathic mind works. You should try A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess, which takes us into the mind of a similar psychopathic criminal and asks hard questions about how people become that way and can they really be changed. Not an easy read.

If your favorite inmate is Red…

You are slightly intimidated by her. but admire her ingenuity, no nonsense attitude and quest for power. In her desire to obtain power in the prison which hurts those she loves, she resembles lady Macbeth in Shakespeare’s Macbeth. If you want a more sympathetic portrayal of lady Macbeth, try Caroline B. Cooney’s Enter Three Witches, a children’s retelling of the play but still one of my favorite books.

If your favorite inmate is Taystee…

Poor Taystee never had a chance. Underneath her optimistic exterior lies a child who was screwed over by the system and was so desperate to leave foster care and have a real family that she turned to Vee. If you wanted a happier ending for her (and who doesn’t?) read The Pinballs by Betsy Byars, about three kids stuck in foster care that get the happy ending Taystee always wanted. It’s a children’s book but worth it.

If your favorite inmate is Poussey…

Although she also plays the clown, Poussey has faced a lot of prejudice in her young life, as heartbreakingly shown in the flashback where the homophobic German commander suggested her father send her to a “de-gaying” camp. To read about a girl in a similar situation, try The Miseducation of Cameron Post, which has one of few queer romances in YA lit and has a similar voice.

If your favorite inmate is Janay…

Janay’s backstory probably broke my heart the most because she almost got out but then threw away her athletic scholarship for a boy.  Similarly, the protagonist of Teenie by Anthony Guest is offered an academic scholarship to study abroad, but is torn when a local boy starts paying more attention to her. 

If your favorite inmate is Suzanne…

Everyone dismisses her as “Crazy Eyes,” but Suzanne is incredibly intelligent and her words often sound like poetry. Had she been in another situation (read: had she been white) she would have been ‘eccentric.’ Bronx Masquerade by Nikki Grimes is a beautifully written, poetic book about a group of teens in the Bronx participating in a poetry slam. The beauty in their poetry is like the full garden rose Suzanne is.

If your favorite inmate is Nicky…

To quote the Velvet Underground, “Heroin/it’s my life/it’s my wife.” Nicky admitted that she was still married to heroin and that was what brought her downfall. Although she was often the comic relief of the show, she showed that addiction is no laughing matter and condemns a system that incarcerates addicts instead of treating them. For an equally harrowing account of addiction, read Go Ask Alice by Anonymous. Although recently it has been discredited as propaganda to get kids to not use drugs, it sure is effective.

If your favorite inmate is Morello…

You never quite know what to do with Morello and you’re never quite sure when she’s being honest. She’s charming, she’s beautiful and she’s so difficult to figure out. For another book that spins you around on the roller coaster of truth, try Code Name: Verity by Elizabeth Wein. Bonus: the novel is set during World War II, and Morello with her rag curls and lipstick would fit right in there.

If your favorite inmate is Boo:

Boo is unapologetically butch, to quote her arm tattoo, and she has fought long and hard to be where she is now. Alison Bechdel’s (yes, that Bechdel) graphic memoir also deals with the struggles of family and being who you are. It is also required reading for queer girls. I do not make the rules. (I also have not read it yet and should probably get my bi card revoked)

If your favorite inmate is Daya…

Ah, poor romantic Daya trying to make her romance with Bennett work despite the prison system. To read more prison romance, try Upstate by Kalisha Buckhanon. Although this is between an inmate and his girlfriend outside, not a guard, it still portrays the way holding on to love in a jail cell is hard.

If your favorite inmate is Flaca….

Gothic Flaca with her perfect eyeliner clashes with her mother, who (quite reasonably) asks her to help her out around the house. At its heart, Flaca’s story is about belonging and finding a family that doesn’t stifle who you are. To read more about the difficulty of growing up in family, try How the Garcia Girls Lost their Accents by Julia Alvarez. 

If your favorite inmate is Sophia…

The biggest tragedy of Sophia’s story for me is that she worked so hard to get to be her true self that she wound up in jail, which stifles all individuality. Unfortunately, there are few books featuring trans protagonists, but one of my favorites is Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides, about an intersex individual assigned female at birth that transitions to male later in life. His struggles to be his true self in the face of a radically changing society of the mid 20th century that wasn’t radical enough to accept him and in the face of his traditional Greek family mirror Sophia’s own struggles with acceptance.

If your favorite inmate is Brook…

Brook takes some getting used to, and her hippie sensibilities can be grating, but her kindness is endearing and she really does have some good points. The required reading for any college-educated radical seems to be Siddhartha by Herman Hesse, and I guarantee you that she has read it at some point.

If your favorite inmate is Chang…

Chang is probably my favorite. She takes no shit, has a straightforward, resourceful outlook on life, and is so fucking badass. To my fellow Chang-lovers, I’d recommend The Kitchen God’s Wife by Amy Tan, a book about a mother and daughter, the culture clashes they navigate, the men in their life, and how still waters truly run deep.

This got way longer than I expected but I’m passionate about this ok.

Late Night With Hans

For everyone who is confused:

Back before Frozen came out, the fandom consisted of like 200 people and Tumblr user emmasdisneyworld started making this “TV show” where Hans had a talk show and interviewed Disney characters, commited semi-illegal acts, and mocked Kristoff. 

It got so popular even Jennifer Lee herself “watched” it. 

It’s gold, and you can start watching it herejust scroll to the bottom of her page then work your way back up

I think we should muse about the kind of woman Dean is attracted to/feels a connection to.

In Wendigo he feels a connection (I wouldn’t call it attraction, anyway you can if you want) to Hayley, the girl who would take care of his brothers after losing their parents, who is willing to do anything in order to save her brother. Sounds familiar?

In Dead in the water, we have a young woman who has to raise her son alone after the loss of her husband. Again, no connection to Dean’s experiences at all.

In Route 666, there’s Cassie - a biracial girl living in Missouri, more specifically in a town that has a tradition of violent, bloody racism. A girl who is in a borderline position between being accepted (as the town seems to have gotten better racism-wise) and being an outcast. Now, I am not biracial and I don’t want to speak for biracial people - but she probably feels like she doesn’t really belong in a world where racism draws heavy lines between “white” and “black”. A girl who belongs to a threshold dimension, whose parents apparently are very different but actually aren’t really, because they share similar experiences, as it turns out. Draw your conclusions…

Rivers of ink (well, more like rivers of bytes, but you get the point) have been written about Jo, so I won’t dwell on that. I won’t talk about Ash here, so let’s leave the Jo/Ash parallel-contrast for another time.

I don’t remember whether he shows interest in the woman in Playthings, anyway: single mother that has to leave her home.

Tara from Hollywood Babylon is an actress in a movie/show (I don’t remember exactly) Dean is a fan of. He feels attraction to a lot of actors/fictional characters - Sam makes fun of him when he tells him that he confuses reality with porn, the truth is Dean has a strong need for escapism. You could also argue he identities with an actress - playing someone you’re not…

Then there’s Lisa. Single mother of a kid. Yes, they had sex all those years ago (now that I think about it… it should be when Dean was nineteen, right? *coughswewerenineteencoughs* The woman gossiping about him talk about how “they had this crazy, semi-illegal…” which suggests that what happened between them was kinky if not full-on BDSM. And Dean isn’t a dominant partner in sexual relationships. No wonder he has good memories of that weekend…) anyway, a weekend isn’t enough to develop a connection. Ben is the catalyst of their relationship, and no one can say otherwise honestly.

Casey? He starts flirting with her in a mixture of Look-At-How-Hetero-I-Am façade and flirting to get information about the case, then he genuinely develops a connection to her as they find out they’re more similar than they thought.

You will never convince me that Dean’s behavior in Monster Movie isn’t an attempt to take a break from all the things that have recently happened and find an anchor in his usual façade. He’s been to hell, he’s had a lot of his beliefs pretty much shattered, you can’t blame him for taking refuge in the safeness of his façade.

Anna. Similarly to what I wrote about Cassie… Anna is someone who is human and is an angel, who doesn’t belong, who has lost her comfortable human life and has been thrown into the same big terrible mess Dean has found himself into. Oh, come on, we know Dean develops connections to angels that get close to humanity and blah blah. I won’t drone on about this.

It’s getting increasingly difficult to find women Dean has shown attraction to.

Is there even an instance of that in season 5 and 6? I can only recall men tbh…

Ah, season 7. The season where Dean feels the need to escape in the safety of his façade to distract himself from the things that are going on in his life. See what I wrote about Monster Movie (yeah, apparently when a certain guy in a trenchcoat appears or disappears from your life, Dean feels the need to take refuge in his Look-At-How-Hetero-I-Am façade, what a surprising discovery). He likes his hook-up with Lydia because she clearly dominates him - he can just stop thinking, thinking about what to do, thinking about the emptiness in his heart.

Let’s not even dwell on Ellie in Trial and Error because Dean pretty much states that after, uhm, recent events, he can’t bring himself to be with her. In the previous episode, he seems totally comfortable around a certain person flirting with him, but I’m sure that doesn’t mean anything *coughs*.

Portia the familiar? Screams like façade to me, mixed with the dom vibes she sends…

In Rock and a Hard Place he’s punishing himself for being the one to say the adios, by getting himself into a situation where he’s the one that will get the adios.

Anne-Marie. A lot has been written about her and her relationship with Dean appears to be too inextricably linked to Crowley honestly. And the triplets that hang out at the same bar.

In Girls, girls, girls, again he’s recently gotten out of a very dark period of his life. Sounds like a pattern, uh? He’s also excited at the prospect of sexy rules - see above.

In About a Boy, he shares a connection with Tina that is devoid of actual sexual connotations.

In Halt and Catch Fire he’s putting up a clamorous façade for Sam’s sake that can be seen from space.

Same applies to his comments to Sam about the nun in Paint it Black - the connection he has with her is based on something that has nothing to do with sexual attraction.

I’m not saying I believe Dean is a demisexual person that acts like an allosexual as an integral part of his Manly Façade… well yeah that’s what I’m saying. The adios breaks his heart because it’s a cruel reminder that there was no connection at all. He enjoys sex, of course. He enjoys the physical pleasure he gets from it. He really likes it when his partner dominates him, because he’s a smol subby birb. So it’s not really that hard for him to hook up with people. But he has a deep need for a connection that goes beyond the physical. Sure, physical connection is okay when you can’t have anything else, beggars aren’t choosers after all, but it’s not enough.

The same applies to the men Dean feels attracted to, with the difference that Dean develops connections to men more quickly and more often (in fact often instinctively). I’m not making a list of the men Dean has felt a connection/attraction too because it would take too long and you know it.

I did the math and Dean was 19-20 when he met Lisa. Because in 3x02 he says it’s been 8-9 years since he saw her and in s3 Dean is 27-28.

Dean was Lisa’s “Best-night-of-my-life” “semi-illegal” sexual encounter WHEN HE WAS 19-20 YEARS OLD.

That man must be damn good in bed.


A/N: Finals are killing me slowly so this was supposed to be uplifting for me. And it was! I just want to thank Fall Out Boy for reminding me that I’m not dying unless I am killed. 

Immortals // Dean x Reader

Words: 3484

Warnings: Mentions of bad dreams/night terrors. 

Request:  Request for much much much later when you are feeling better. Dean X reader song fic-fallout boy-immortals. He is"bad behavior but he does it in the best way" “guard dog of all her fever dreams"and "tries to picture him without her, but he can’t"feels that he is the bottom of the barrel"the sand in the bottom half of the hourglass”. Nightmares? Semi-illegal dates? protective? considerably younger reader, but she hunts good and compliments him? She sees good in him that he does not see?

Listen to Immortals here!

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