semi autobiography

the ‘no longer human’ (2010) that you probably haven’t seen (and nakahara chuuya’s significant role in dazai osamu’s life)

You read that right. ‘Ningen shikkaku’, or as we know it, ‘No Longer Human’ had a movie that came out on 2010, directed by Genjiro Arato and starring Toma Ikuta as Oba Yozo (and to a lesser extent, Dazai Osamu). 

Keep reading

erza155hasleftthebuilding  asked:

Jumping off Balconies and other tall structures: a semi-accurate autobiography

😂 This would have to be Dick. I think I would write this as a rambling foreword to his book (because I hc that Dick is a writer, based off an old meta post a while back) and he talks about all the crazy things he’s done (physically and emotionally) and in the end, it’s the crazy things that have made his life worth living.

Master Reviews List

Here at Bisexual Books, we receive frequent queries for lists of books with X demographic, genre and/or quality to them. Often we reply with a few suggestions culled from our recent memory which may not be reflective of the full gamut of works we’ve reviewed.

This list isn’t perfect. We will update it within a week or two of every new review we post. This list is not heavily detailed (for heavier details, please click the book’s title and read our full original review!) but should prove a handy resource for anyone who would like to find our thoughts on specific titles, good bi YA (or historical fiction, nonfiction, erotica, etc), character demographics, etc.

We hope you find it useful!

Books We Loved:

Adaptation by Malinda Lo: Dystopian fiction, bisexual female, sci-fi

American Honor Killings: Desire and Rage Among Men by David McConnell: True crime, gender and masculinity studies

Anything That Loves edited by Zan Christensen: Comics, non-binary, anthology

Avengers Academy vol. 3 by Christos Gage: Comics, bisexual female, bi-ally

Bad Feminist by Roxanne Gay: Non-fiction, bisexual feminist poc author

The Bane Chronicles by Cassandra Clare, Sarah Rees Brennan, and Maureen Johnson: Fantasy, Indonesian bisexual male

Best Bi Short Stories: Bisexual Fiction edited by Sheela Lambert: bisexual authors and characters

Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out by Susan Kuklin: Photo book, trans teens, genderqueer, bisexual, pansexual

Bi-Normal by M. G. Higgins: YA, bisexual males

The Bisexual’s Guide to the Universe: Quips, Tips, and Lists For Those Who Go Both Ways by Nicole Kristal and Mike Syzmanski: Humor, coming out, nonfiction

Bliss by Lisa Henry and Heidi Belleau: Sci-fi, bisexual male, bisexual author, non-con, erotica

Boyfriends With Girlfriends by Alex Sanchez: YA, LGB characters, poc characters

Burnt Toast B&B by Heidi Belleau and Rachel Haimowitz: Romance, trans bisexual male, explicit sex

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell: “big queer meta Harry Potteresque fanficion book thingy”

City of Heavenly Fire by Cassandra Clare: Fantasy, Indonesian bisexual male 

Clearcut by Nina Shengold: Bi male characters, historical fiction, polyamory

Climbing the Date Palm by Shira Glassman: Fantasy, Queer and ethnic diversity, feminist 

Closer to Home: Bisexuality and Feminism, edited by Elizabeth Reba Weise: Non-fiction anthology, bisexual scholarship/academia

Coda by Emma Trevayne: YA, dystopian, bisexual male, sci-fi

The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black: YA, horror, vampires, bisexual male, transgender woman

Death’s Door by Sam Saturday: Comic book, horror, romance, pansexual author 

Fairest vol.2 by Lauren Beukes and Bill Willingham: Comics, fantasy, bisexual female

Fake by Sanami Matoh: Yaoi, bisexual male

Far From You by Tess Sharpe: YA, mystery, bisexual female, disability

Fireflies at Absolute Zero by Erynn Rowan Laurie: Poetry, bisexual author

Freehold by Michael Z. Williamson: Sci-fi, bisexual females, polyamory, explicit sex

Frenemy of the People by Nora Olsen: Contemporary fiction, romance, bisexual female, disability

Gender Failure by Rae Spoon and Ivan E. Coyote: Personal essays, non-binary transgender authors

Gender Outlaws: the Next Generation edited by Kate Bornstein and S. Bear Bergman: Essays, genderqueer, transgender, bisexual authors

Golden Boy by Abigail Tarttelin: Intersex protagonist, tw rape

Grasshopper Jungle by Andrew Smith: Dystopian YA, bug apocalypse, bisexual male

Heart Body Soul, Erotica with Character by various authors: Pretty much every queer configuration of erotica you could ever ask for.

Honeybee: a Collection of Poems About Letting Go by Trista Mateer: Poetry, bisexual author

The Horizontal Poet by Jan Steckel: Poetry, bisexual author

Inheritance by Malinda Lo: Sci-fi, bisexual female, romance

James Baldwin: A Biography by David Leeming: Biography, black history, bisexual male

Jimmy’s Blues and Other Poems by James Baldwin: Poetry, black author

Joy Street by Laura Foley: bisexual poetry 

The Letter Q: Queer Writers’ Notes to Their Younger Selves: Non-fiction, diverse array of queer authors

Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics by Jennifer Baumgardner: Non-fiction, bisexual feminist politics

Love in the Time of Global Warming: Sci-fi, dystopian, YA, bisexual female

Map of Home by Randa Jarrar: Bisexual Middle Eastern protagonist

Murder On The Mountain by Jaime Fessenden: Mystery, bi male

My Education by Susan Choi: Contemporary fiction, bisexual female, high-brow

No Straight Lines: Four Decades of Queer Comics edited by Justin Hall: Comics, queer diversity

Not My Father’s Son: A Memoir by Alan Cumming: Memoir, bisexual author, tw domestic violence

Not Otherwise Specified by Hannah Moskowitz: YA, bisexual female poc, mental health struggles.

Openly Straight by Bill Konigsberg: YA, gay coming out

Otherbound by Corinne Duyvis: Fantasy, diverse characters, bisexual disabled author

Out in Africa: Same-Sex Desire in Sub-Saharan Literatures & Cultures by Chantal Zabus: Scholarship, non-fiction, African queer culture

Pantomime by Laura Lam: Steampunk fantasy, YA, bisexual intersex character

The Pendragon Legacy by Sarah Luddington: Historical fantasy, bisexual and gay males, romance, TW rape 

Phyllida and the Brotherhood of Philander by Ann Herendeen: Historical romance, bisexual male 

Promises, Promises: A Romp with Plenty of Dykes, a Unicorn, an Ogre, an Oracle, a Quest, a Princess, and True Love with a Happily Ever After by LJ Baker: Fantasy satire, humor, lesbian characters, anti-heteronormativity, lacking bisexual content 

Qu33r: New Comics From 33 Creators edited by Rob Kirby: Comics, queer and ethnic diversity

Rapture Practice by Aaron Hartzler: Memoir, gay coming out

Saga vol. 3 by Brian K. Vaughan & Fiona Staples: Comic, Sci-fi, queer and ethnic diversity

Seducer Fey by Cullyn Royson: Sci-fi, fantasy, bisexual and pansexual characters, diverse ethnicities, non-cis characters

Shadowplay by Laura Lam: Steampunk fantasy YA, bisexual intersex character

She of the Mountains by Vivek Shraya: bisexual male poc, Hindu mythology

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli: Gay coming out YA with bisexual characters and zero biphobia

Some of Us Did NOT Die: New and Selected Essays by June Jordan: Non-fiction, bisexual feminist black author

Sparks by S. J. Adams: lesbian coming out YA that doesn’t demonize bisexuality

Starling by Racheline Maltese and Erin McRae: bisexual male supporting character, contemporary fiction 

The Stars Change by Mary Anne Mohanraj: Sci-fi, erotica, agender characters, polyamory, explicit sex

The Summer Prince by Alaya Dawn Johnson: YA, Afro-Brazilian characters, bisexual male, dystopian

That’s So Gay: Microaggressions and the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Community edited by Kevin L. Nadal: Essays, diverse queer subjects and authors

Tides by Betsy Cornwell: Fantasy, adult queer romance

Tommy’s Tale by Alan Cumming: Contemporary fiction, bisexual author and characters, explicit sex

The Two Hotel Francforts by David Leavitt: Historical fiction, bisexual male

The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play, and the Erotic Edge edited by Tristan Taormino: BDSM non-fiction anthology, queer and ethnic diversity TW: Nudity and explicit depictions of sex and BDSM 

Wallflower by Heidi Belleau: Erotica, genderqueer, Asian and Inuit leads, explicit,

White Witch, Black Curse by Kim Harrison: Supernatural Mystery, female bisexual, vampires, fantasy 

A Wind of Knives by Ed Kurtz: Historical fiction, bisexual males, western lit

A Woman Like Me by Bettye LaVette: Memoir, black bisexual author

Young Avengers by Kieron Gillen: Comics, bisexual black male, diverse ethnic and queer cast 

Books With Problematic or Mediocre Elements That We Still Recommend:

American Savage by Dan Savage: Non-fiction, essays, sometimes good, sometimes bad. Dan Savage will always be a tool.

The B Word: Bisexuality in Contemporary Film and Television by Maria San Filippo: Non-fiction, academia, scholarship 

Baby Love: Choosing Motherhood After a Lifetime of Ambivalence by Rebecca Walker: Memoir, parenthood, bisexual in passing

Bad Company by K. A. Mitchell: Erotica, bisexual male, explicit sex

Bad Dyke: Salacious Stories From a Queer Life by Allison Moon: Memoir, bisexuality, BDSM, polyamory, internalized biphobia 

Best Bisexual Women’s Erotica edited by Cara Bruce: Erotica, hit and miss

Between You & Me by Marisa Calin: Screenplay, queer protagonists

Bi Lives: Bisexual Women edited by Kata Orndorff: Non-fiction, essays, internalized biphobia

Bisexuality: A Reader and Sourcebook edited by Thomas Geller: Essays, dated

The Book of Joel by AR Fiano: Mystery, widespread in queer and ethnic diversity, see review for long list of trigger warnings 

Bound By Honor by S.E. Jakes: Erotica, Bisexual males, BDSM

Coming Around: Parenting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Kids by Anne Dohrenwend: Non-fiction, No good bi content

Corona by Bushra Rehman: Semi-autobiography, queer Pakistani representation 

Daddy by Madison Young: Memoir, bisexual female, BDSM, explicit sex

Different Slopes by Bill Lee: Historical fiction, bisexual male, light reading with an erotic edge

The Disenchantments by Nina LaCour: Lesbian YA

Diverse Energies edited by Joe Monti and Tobias S. Buckell: Sci-fi anthology, queer people of color

The Dom with a Safeword by Sorcha Black, Leia Shaw, and Cari Silverwood: Erotica, female biseual, BDSM, explicit sex, disjointed narrative

Ebenezer by JoSelle Vanderhooft: Fantasy, holiday, bisexual female,

The Elementals by Saundra Mitchell: YA, historical fiction, bisexual females, doesn’t stand well on its own

The Faith, Love, and Devotion series by Tere Michaels: Romance, bisexual males, cliche 

Flagrant Conduct: the Story of Lawrence v. Texas by Dale Carpenter: Historical non-fiction, bi erasing

For Colored Boys Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Still Not Enough: Coming of Age, Coming Out, and Coming Home edited by Keith Boykin: Non-fiction anthology, cissexist gay

Franky Gets Real by Mel Bossa: Contemporary fiction, bisexual male, lighthearted romance

Gabriel’s City by Layla Hunter: Fantasy, erotica, bisexual male, explicit sex

Giving an Inch: The Professor’s Rule by Heidi Belleau: Erotica, bisexual male, explicit sex, short story, no plot

Graveyard Sparrow by Kayla Bashe: Fantasy, bisexual female, romance, plodding clunky writing

Hild by Nicola Griffith: Historical fiction, bisexual female, slow-paced

How I Paid For College by Marc Acito: Contemporary fiction, horrible characters

The Island of Excess Love by Francesca Lia Block: Fantasy, YA, bisexual female, transgender male, sexual assault TW, transphobia 

The Lavender Menace: Tales of Queer Villainy edited by Tom Cardamone: Comics anthology, gay men

Let it Ride by L.C. Chase: bisexual cowboy romance, TW explicit sex 

Lips Like Ice by Peggy Barnett: Sci-Fi, bisexual female, transgender male 

Love, Sex, and Understanding the Universe by Harrie Farrow: bisexual male coming of age, polyamory, explicit sex 

One Man Guy by Michael Barakiva: YA, bisexual male, monosexism

Pink by Lili Wilkinson: YA, bisexual female

Polished by Alyssa Turner: Erotica, explicit, bisexual male, BDSM, polyamory

The Price of Salt by Claire Morgan (pseudonym for Patricia Highsmith): Historical fiction, bisexual female, misogyny

Red Sonja vol. 2 by Gail Simone and Walter Geovani: Fantasy, bisexual female, comics

Revival by Stephen King: Horror, surprise bisexual female

She Loves You, She Loves You Not by Julie Anne Peters: lesbian YA, bisexual villainy

Silver Moon by Catherine Lundoff: Supernatural fantasy, bisexual female 

Skim by Mariko Tamaki: Lesbian coming of age, Comics

Sleeping Moon by Kano Miyamoto: Yaoi, supernatural mystery, bisexual male characters, erasure, bi tropes

Spit and Passion by Cristy C. Road: Autobiographical graphic novel, queer Cuban author, explicit sex

Straight Shooter by Heidi Belleau: Erotica, bisexual male, explicit sex, BDSM, unsympathetic characters

Stumptown vol. 2 by Greg Rucka: Comics, bisexual female, queer coding, violence

The Swede by Robert Karjel: Good but somewhat disjointed crime novel. No real bisexual content.

That’s Revolting: Queer Strategies For Resisting Assimilation edited by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore: Diverse queer authors and themes, Personal essays, politics

Tin Star by Cecil Castellucci: Sci-fi, bisexual female, bisexual cliches

The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice: Supernatural contemporary fiction, queer characters, lacking in ethnic and gender diversity

When We Become Weavers: Queer Female Poets on the Midwestern Experience edited by Kate Lynn Hibbard: Poetry anthology, queer authors and subjects 

Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal by Jeanette Winterson: Memoir, often aimless 

Books That Are Awful:

The Art of Wishing by Lindsay Ribar: Fantasy, vague bisexuality, extremely boring

The Bisexual Spouse edited by Ivan Hill: Non-fiction, bisexual erasure

Bisexual Vegetarian Zombies by Ron Albury: Zombie fiction, bisexual characters, misogyny

Bottled Up Secret by Brian McNamara: Coming out fiction, m/m, chock full of biphobia 

Brazen Femme: Queering Femininity edited by Chloe Brushwood Rose and Anna Camilleri: Wildly inconsistent anthology

Collide by J. R. Lenk: bisexual coming out, terribly written

Confessions of a Bisexual Husband by Mark Bentley Cohen: Memoir, bisexual male, non-consent, infidelity, bisexual stereotypes

Cut Both Ways by Carrie Mesrobian: Just nope.

A Desired Past by Leila J. Rupp: bisexual erasing, transgender erasing, historically inaccurate 

The Difference Between You and Me by Madeleine George: YA, beautifully written biphobic villain garbage

Directing Herbert White by James Franco: phobic, slut shaming, boring

Double Crush by Sally Bosco: Too cliche

The Elephant of Surprise by Brent Hartinger: Terrible addition to otherwise good series of novels

King of Angels by Perry Brass: Contemporary fiction, coming of age, bisexual and gay males, underage explicit sex, murder

Matched by Ally Condie: Dystopian romance, heteronormative, boring 

The Meadowlark Sings by Helen Ruth Schwartz: Dystopian, Bisexual erasure

No One Needs to Know by Amanda Grace: Best part of this book is its cover

Otherwise by Linda Oatman High: forced agender, nonsensical

Plan B by SJD Peterson: Erotica, transphobic

Reclaiming Queer, edited by Erin J Rand: Non-fiction, biphobic, bisexual erasure

Second Hand by Heidi Cullinan and Marie Sexton: romance, bisexual/gay males, poorly written

Songmaster by Orson Scott Card: queer phobic garbage, Sci-fi

Starstruck by L. A. Witt: bisexual male, romance, explicit sex, bi erasure

Stonewall by Ann Bausum: Historically inaccurate, bisexual erasing, transgender erasing 

Swans and Klons by Nora Olsen: YA, dystopian, terrible

This Is a Book For Parents of Gay Kids by Danielle Owens-Reid and Kristin Russo: Extreme biphobia, all the nope

The Tolerance Trap by Suzanna Danuta Walters: Non-fiction, boring, bisexual erasure

When Your Lover is a Liar: Healing the Wounds of Deception and Betrayal by Susan Forward: Non-fiction, biphobic garbage

Winterspell by Clare Legrand: bad bisexual tropes, YA fantasy, TW sexual coercion 

Wonderland by David-Matthew Barnes: Rushed, cliched, confusing 

You Can Tell Just By Looking by Michael Bronski, Ann Pellegrini, and Michael Amico: Cissexist garbage

books ✌

for those who ask what books to read,  here is a list lots of my followers have recommended and I have read some reviews etc to try determine which are my favourite sounding / roughly what genre they are:

-The First Part Last - Angela Johnson (teen pregnancy)
-any books by - Jodi Picoult (suicide, death)
-any books by - Sarah Dessern (teen love, broken families)
-The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini (historical drama/ racial conflict)
-One Day - David Nicholls (romance)
-Flipped - Wendelin Van Draanen (young adult, romance)
-The Golden Compass Trilogy - Philip Pullman (fantasy)
-Porcupine - Meg Tilly (loss, families)
-The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath (semi-autobiography, mental illness)
-The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender - Leslye Walton (mystic, fantasy)
-The Beginning of Everything - Robyn Schneider (teen love)
-Cat’s Eye - Margaret Atwood (biography, historical)
-Eleanor & Park - Rainbow Rowell (abuse, bullying, racism & body image)
-Fangirl - Rainbow Rowell (teen love)
-The Maze Runner - James Dashner (science fiction)
-The Bone Season - Samantha Shannon (dystopian)
-Gone Girl - Gillian Flynn (life struggles)
-If I Stay - Gayle Forman (young adult fiction)
-Beautiful Creatures & Beautiful Darkness - Kami Garcia & Margaret —Stohl (young adult, fantasy, romance)
-Six Months Later - Natalie Richards (romantic thriller)
-Maximum Ride Series - James Patterson (science fiction, thriller)
-Graceling - Kristen Cashore (fantasy, romance)
-This is Not a Test - Courtney Summers (science fiction)
-Before I Fall - Lauren Oliver (highschool, teen fiction)
-We Were Liars - E. Lockart (teen fiction, romance)
-The Duff - Kody Keplinger (teen fiction, acceptance)
-Lullabies for Little Criminals - Heather O'neill (drug abuse, abuse)
-The Shock of the Fall - Nathan Filer (fiction, loss - not sure what but seems good)
-The Elementals - Francesca Lia Block (fiction - also can’t figure out but sounds good)
-The Book Thief - Markus Zusak (historical fiction)
-Please Ignore Vera Dietz - A.S King (mystery fiction)

Books I have read but recommend:

-Thirteen Reasons Why - Jay Ashar
-The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky
-Wintergirls - Laurie Halse Anderson 
-any books by Sophie Mckenzie 
-Room - Emma Donoghue

I remember when I was in the sixth grade that I loved three things: wearing skeleton t-shirts, my chemical romance songs, and my bangs. I was the person people called “emo” and I think I haven’t really stopped being emo. I still listen to my chemical romance songs, but now I write.
—  Juansen Dizon // Semi-Autobiography: The Emo Life
How I Wrote Through My Depression

I decided to write this post because one Tumblr user responding to How to Overcome Writing Excuses felt that there was a certain amount of ableism within it, as it didn’t take into account people with disabilities. This is a valid concern, as a lot of articles giving writers similar advice can sound very condescending, never taking into account that writers have lives and issues and a myriad of valid things that can get in the way of a writer accomplishing his/her goals. A lot of authors giving writers similar advice do the same thing as well, whether or not they mean to.

However, I feel the post I linked above is one of the more sensitive ones. Even so, there are hardly any posts on how people with disabilities manage to write with a disability that makes getting any writing done seem impossible.

When I went through my first depressive episode back in 2012, I had zero desire to write. I didn’t care if my PA ever finished going through When Stars Die. As far as I was concerned, I wasn’t going to be around long enough to even care what was going to happen with the dang book.  I had no motivation. I was sick with depression. Not to mention I do have a chronic pain condition called fibromyalgia, and as we speak, I am in pain while writing this. But rest assured, my fibromyalgia is fairly mild, so I don’t experience pain from it too often. I am sitting in this chair, though, with an icepack on my shoulder because it seems one of my tender points is constantly being injured in ballet class–or just flares or something, because my left side is my weak side.

In any case, writing when you’re depressed is very, very difficult. You lack motivation, your concentration is often shot, you’re generally tired, you can become easily irritated, and you sometimes just want to stay in bed and avoid the world.

All of the above was true for me, except I suffer from insomnia, not hyperinsomnia, so staying in bed didn’t help me escape the feeling of depression. In fact, the longer I stayed in bed to shut myself off from my depression, the more anxious I became, so I generally messed around on my iPad the entire day while remaining in bed.

And then I got a Surface RT, which is more conducive to writing.

Well, one day I finished Emilie Autumn’s semi-autobiography, and one thing stuck out to me. Emilie Autumn wanted to keep going. As an incentive to stay alive, she wanted to complete Opheliac before deciding to do anything. She figured completing Opheliac would rid her of her suicidal feelings–and she was right. Until, of course, depression struck again. But this idea stuck to me, especially when I finally got When Stars Die back from Mariah.

So I made a goal with myself: get When Stars Die published, then I have permission to leave.

I was originally going to self-publish it. That obviously changed.

But the only thing I could do during this depressive episode was just do copy edits and proofreading on When Stars Die. These two stages don’t require too much brain power from me, but I was at least able to get some sort of writing done. So when I finished it, I was saving up for an editor, until I just decided to take a chance on sending to a few presses.

I had also started on Abilify during this time. 

But I landed the contract and was beyond the moon for several days. I thought landing this contract was the reason why I felt so great, until I realized the elevated mood remained. It wasn’t landing the contract that did it. It was my medications finally kicking in. So I was able to go in and start a new book.

However, the point with this first one is that I was able to get some sort of writing done.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I am killing myself this summer. But i am writing a novel (semi autobiography) before i go & i want to make sure it is published when i die because I need everyone to know what it was like & i want people to finally see whats going on in my head. Plz remember me in august and spread the word so this book will happen!

I got an even better plan. How about you live through this summer, the next summer and the summer after that and every other summer until you are an old person and its time for you to pass naturally. The pain you feel now is simply temporary, it can be resolved in numerous ways and suicide and harming yourself certainly is not a solution to the problems you are facing. Please, don’t kill yourself, you are worthy of this life, you deserve it. Please don’t leave,

Lay - 150910 Publisher OneBook’s weibo update

Translation: “Zhang Yixing’s birthday surprise second wave: For the past half year, we have been meticulously creating Zhang Yixing’s first semi-autobiography, "Independent 24”, starting pre-sales September 17th. Boss Zhang, who likes receiving letters, says this book is his reply letter which he has written to everyone, “Because being loved like this, even if I only have a final fan remaining, I want to continue singing for this hefty single love.”

Credit: 一本OneBook.

Maynard James Keenan on New Book, Tool LP: 'Do I Seem Like a Lazy Person?'

Maynard James Keenan is an industry unto himself. Once known primarily as Tool’s enigmatic, vocally astonishing frontman, Keenan has evolved into an ever-prolific creative force. As fans continue to wait patiently, or not so, for news of Tool’s long-rumored fifth LP, Keenan continues to busy himself with all sorts of other endeavors — art-pop collective Puscifer; his winemaking outlet, Caduceus Cellars — that have been going on way too long to be considered mere side projects. Add one more to the list: Word emerged today that Keenan is collaborating with seasoned writer-editor Sarah Jensen on an authorized biography.

Maynard James Keenan’s Authorized Biography Coming Fall 2016

We reached Keenan by phone to discuss the writing process, the day’s happenings at Caduceus and, yes, what’s up with that long-awaited Tool album.

Can you give me the backstory on this book? How did it come about?
One of my best friends in high school, we’re still close, his sister’s a writer, she’s 10 years older than we are; she’s kind of been around for a while, of course, seeing everything that went on pre–high school, high school, etc. So I approached her, because she’s a writer, so I wanted to see if she was interested in helping me work on a semi-autobiography. Because I didn’t really want to write it as an autobiography, first-person — I’d rather have it be more in story form, like you’re kind of along for the journey, with sidebars by me throughout, in my voice, kind of expanding on particular instances or anecdotes. But for the most part, it’s just she and I on the phone a couple times a week, just going over timelines, going over stories, etc.

Why did you feel that now was the time to tell your story in this format? I imagine people have approached you before with the idea of doing a book.
I wasn’t really sure how long it would take to actually pull off writing a book, but I was kind of shooting for my 50th birthday, but we didn’t really get the conversations going quickly enough to get it done in my 50th year. So it’ll end up being a little later.

So I assume the fact that you were already friendly with the writer made this process more appealing than working with a stranger.
Right, because she already knows where I come from. She’s from there, so there’s a lot of holes that can be filled in just basically because she grew up where I grew up.

You’ve obviously talked about your life a million times in interviews and in the documentary that you did, Blood Into Wine. Were there particular things that you wanted to share with people that you felt hadn’t been dealt with in previous accounts of your life?
I guess so. I mean there’s always that perception that whatever you’ve done that’s the largest media-friendly thing in your life, where the world came to know of you, there’s a perception that there was no life before, and that you were nothing before. There’s a lot of stuff that went on in my life that nobody really knows about. So I feel like this is the chance to show the patterns, tell a story.

“Most people want to hear the kiss-and-tell crap, the garbage on the bus. That’s boring to me.”

Can you think of a particular aspect of your life that was one of those hidden things that we might look forward to reading about in this book?

[Laughs] Nice one. Do you want me to go ahead and talk about it now so you don’t have to buy the book, or …?

[Laughs] Well, I’m just looking for a little bit to whet our appetite.
No, there’s just a lot of things that have happened in my life prior to music that have been talked about but not many details. So this book goes into more details and kind of gives you a timeline, shows you even more family history, going back to pre–Revolutionary War. So just a lot of things mapped out.

Did you learn anything about yourself or your family in the course of this process?
Absolutely, because you start seeing patterns. And I think that’s part of the exercise, as well. When you get to a certain age, you think you’ve learned everything, and when you start really putting these patterns together, you start seeing your own patterns of behavior, and it’s an opportunity to fix them, you know?

Sounds a little bit like therapy … 
Yeah, artist therapy.

Presumably you’ve read your share of artist memoirs or biographies. What do you think makes a good or bad one?
It all depends on the reader, I suppose. Most people want to hear the kiss-and-tell crap, the garbage on the bus. That’s boring to me. “We threw a piano out a window!” That’s been done a million times before even Buddy Rich was around. Just a lot of things that you read in biographies, I feel like they’re just kiss-and-tell war stories. The ones I prefer are when they get more into the psychology and the decision-making process, not really who you know and “… then I met the president.” Those are boring. I’m more concerned about or more interested in crossroads, where the person in their story comes to a crossroads, and they make a decision, and you see the effects, the cause-and-effect process of those decisions.

Can you think of a particular biography you’ve read that had what you’re aiming for with your own?
Bowie, he had some solid memoirs. That’s the only one that comes to mind at the moment. But again, we’re trying to write this a little bit more, almost like you’re following a character through a story. If you’ve ever read John Crowley’s Little, Big, it’s quite a brain-teaser, a fantastic fantasy novel with multiple dimensional layers of story. So if I had to kind of put the book in perspective, it would be something like that. 

“There’s always that perception that whatever you’ve done that’s the largest media-friendly thing in your life … that there was no life before.”

Since you said this isn’t written in the first-person, did you give Sarah carte blanche to talk to everyone else in your life?
Oh, yeah, we had lists and lists of people that I’ve come in contact with throughout my life, some of which are no longer living, so we couldn’t quite get their story, but yeah, a lot of it is shared paths, so when we’re talking to old friends of mine, we’re not really necessarily talking about me; we’re talking about the experiences we had with some other teacher, coach, elder … space, time, those kind of things.

In terms of all that data that she’s collecting, is everything coming back through you, or are you giving her license to just incorporate it as she sees fit?
She’ll write section-by-section; we’ll go back and edit and fix and tweak, section-by-section, chapter-by-chapter. We have conversations twice a week to just go over … She’ll send me the chapters, and I’ll read them through, and then she’ll have questions or clarifications, contradictions. You talk to somebody else; they didn’t remember it the same way, so you had to rack your brain and go, “OK, was I drunk? Did I sleep through that?” A lot of just editing, fact-checking. But we’re pretty much … For the most part, it’s not complete, but it’s 90 percent complete, so we’re hoping to have it out by fall, next fall.

You mentioned this third-person format with sidebars. How did you come up with the idea of writing sidebars in your voice?
Well, because she was writing the whole book as if you’re observing this path, and I’m not actually speaking, sometimes it felt better, if we get off the path, it was better to have it in my voice to kind of tell those sidebar stories.

When you were working on that part of it, were there any writers you wanted to emulate?
No, it’s all just in my voice. And like I said, [Sarah] is a writer in her own right, so letting her let her voice speak, as far as how she’s telling the story. We’re co-writing this, so it’s important for her voice to be as loud as mine.

Even for an avid fan, it’s tough to keep your career straight: your different bands and the winemaking and everything else you do. Was there a certain element of wanting to have everything on the same plane, to reconcile everything you do in one place? Was that part of the impetus to want to do this?
I would imagine that’s kind of a collateral benefit. If you just see an artist as an artist, then anything goes. If you see them as having a job and a role, if you need to compartmentalize, just because you’re lazy, I suppose, it makes it easy if Steven Tyler just remains “Steven Tyler in Aerosmith,” I guess that’s easier for you. There’s a lot of shit going on in the world. You don’t have the patience to have all that kind of space on your mental hard drive to keep all that shit straight; it’s just easier if people maintain that line, but I’m just not that person. So I guess maybe a collateral benefit of this project will be that you can kind of see a through-line of a creative process.

“You talk to somebody else; they didn’t remember it the same way, so you had to rack your brain and go, ‘OK, was I drunk? Did I sleep through that?’”

You mentioned this idea of people wanting to assign you to one role, or of one thing you’ve done taking up more space in the media, is that something that you worry about, that people know you as the guy from Tool and aren’t paying as much attention to the other things you’re doing? Or are your more just, like, “I’m going to do this stuff, and however people take it is fine.”
That’s always been the my M.O. As an artist, you just have to follow your path, and you have to follow those movements. Whatever little inclination or inspiration comes your way, it’s kind of your job as an artist to follow them. I don’t know … I kind of agree with Joni Mitchell that the whole idea of picking a trade and sticking to it is kind of limiting; the idea of a jack-of-all-trades is far more appealing.

Does the desire to want to write this book have anything to do with being a father and wanting to have some kind of a record for your kids?
Well, but I’ve been a father for 20 years, so that might have been part of it, but not necessarily.

Do you see the book primarily as a selfish thing, then, and it’s sort of a secondary benefit for other people to want to check it out?
Yeah, I think so. That would probably be more accurate. I think most people, when it comes to celebrities, they think of the word selfish as being negative, but when it comes to art, you have to be selfish, you have to be in your own space and kind of make that space — it’s a very selfish space — to create from. Otherwise, you’re part of a corporation, and you’re moving at the whims of your boss-slash-public. As a true artist, you have to be a little selfish to exist in that space, find that connection, that human connection with the intangible connections, whether it’s digital or cosmic, whatever. You have to find your connection.

You obviously have to be aware that you have a huge fan base that wants to know all the details of your life. Is there a certain element of “Here’s all the information — now we don’t need to go over my personal life anymore.”
No … I’d have to think about that. I don’t think. I think, again, I’m just approaching this like any other creative process, or creative project. I’m just writing a story — it just happens to be about my life.

You must be pretty busy with this book and the upcoming Puscifer album and tour. What’s going on with your winemaking?
I just dumped out, a ton and a half at a time, I just dumped out three bins of various fermentations that were finishing up; I’m pressing all day. Four and a half tons of fruit I just dug out. So we’re still in the process of pressing; everything’s in, in the cellar. I’m kind of just … whenever there’s a gap, I work on other stuff. But as far as the book’s concerned, most of that was two conversations a week for a couple hours at a time with Sarah, and then she does the heavy lifting by putting it all together and coming back. I just kind of make sure she’s on the right track.

So there was a conversation you had a couple weeks back with one of our writers, and he asked about the progress of the new Tool album, and you mentioned that there was no music to work with. And last year, another Rolling Stone writer talked to Danny and Adam, and they said that there was some new material. Can you help us get to the bottom of where you’re at with the new record?
Do I seem like a lazy person to you?

Of course not.
OK — that’s all I can really say.

So …
They’re working hard in their own way; I’m working hard in my own way, and I’ve got nothin’ for ya.

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