selfish arm

anonymous asked:

Hi. I'm so worried I'm asking too much of you but after I saw your wish prompts, I couldn't resist. I enjoy mutual pining and I wish you'd write a fic about that. Please? And thankyou.

Hi there. Since you didn’t specify a ship, I went with my default otp setting, which is Shieldshock. Hope that’s okay and hope you enjoy this ficlet. :)


It had become a habit of sorts, Steve seeking her after missions. Darcy didn’t know when it started, but she liked it, liked being the first person on Steve’s mind when he returned home from the field.

He didn’t ask for much, just sat there listening to her tell him about her day, or fell asleep on the couch if he was too tired to talk. He had nightmares often but they never spoke about them. Darcy let him set the pace, never pushing him into sharing more than he wanted to, never once forcing physical comfort on him. She was happy with just being someone who was a regular part of his life. She didn’t need more.

Then, one day he hugged her and she realized how wrong she was.

It wasn’t the first time he had touched her, but it was definitely the first time he had felt the need to bury his face in the crook of her neck and forget about real life. He held onto her for long minutes, breathing steadily into her hair while she murmured assurances in his ear.

“It’s okay… everything’s okay… you’re fine… you saved the day again…” Her words seemed to calm him and, after a while, his arms around her loosened and he pulled back with a shy smile.

“What’s for dinner?”

He caught her by surprise. He never stayed for dinner.

“Um,” Darcy said, thinking fast. “Spaghetti.”

=======

She had always thought, when she fell in love with someone, it’d be a complicated relationship full of compromises. No guy would be able to appreciate or tolerate the work she did in Avengers Tower, constantly surrounded by genius scientists, self-sacrificing superheroes and the very real danger of occasional attacks.

But when she fell in love with Steve, it was nothing but simple. She didn’t have to lie to him about her work life, wasn’t worried he’d hide things from her (because she almost always knew what he was up to) and she definitely didn’t feel like they had a complicated relationship. He had started coming over nearly every day now. They hung out, watched movies, ate dinner and, sometimes, he spent the night.

The first time he asked if he could stay with her, he had returned from a mission with a bullet hole in his gut. He stumbled through her door and right into her waiting arms.

“Darcy.” The desperation with which he whispered her name sent her heart racing. “Let me stay here tonight.”

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Does he know? || Yuta

Group/Member: Nct Yuta Nakamoto

Genre: collegeau!, fluff,

word count: 800

request if you have time an imagine where yuta is really touchy and holds your hand because he’s used to skinship and doesnt think much of it but then he suddenly realizes you acting different or nervous bc you develop feelings. i hope this made sense !!

a/n: this is literally so bad but this was so hard tro write idk why probably cause Im a bad writer. I sorry :(

Originally posted by nctinfo

You wanted to stay in this moment for just a selfish second, Yuta arm wrapped across the couch his head rested on your shoulder. His eyes staring at the television watching Sicheng play a video game.

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Redemption

Recently I realized Adventure Time gave two secondary, but important, characters a chance for redemption. They have in common that they used to be complete jerks with anyone, being possesive and cheater among other things. But past season and on Islands we could see they were nice persons. I’m talking about Magic Man and Martin Mertens.

Whazam!

Since his first appearance on S1 Freak City, Magic Man made impossible Finn, Jake and pretty much every Ooo inhabitant’s life. No matter if he tricked them, morphed them into a giant foot or made them going into a weird inner world made of themselves, Magic Man was a jerk guy who had a horrible backstory involving a broken heart, a cosmic deity and the ruin of a super civilization on Mars.

But on Season 7′s Normal Man, a powerless Magic Man, because his powers were transfered to Betty Grof, showed his true nature before going nuts. He wanted to rescue his brother, floating in Earth’s orbit. He also showed Finn, Jake and Tiny Manticore he wasn’t a bad guy and he changed. And back on Mars he did the same with Martians, who were wandering in the ruins of their civilization.

*Wink*

Martin Mertens had less time on AT, being on only four episodes on Season 6 and two on Islands. He didn’t care about Finn when his son went to the Cosmic Prison to rescue him. The consequence? His son loses an arm. That selfish scoundrel manipulated tiny farmers to repair his ship, or a colony of Furbys (?) that rescued him from being a prisoner in a planet so he could escape from that planet, without the food he promised he was going to give them.

Despite not being in the material world, going with the Purple Comet into another plane of existance, on Islands we could see his backstory. A descendent of human survivors who was a trickster who helped Hiders to leave Founders that loved gadgets, but also a Helper named Minnie. He loved Finn more than gadgets, and saved him from a revenge or a giant robot on the sea. Something that is very noble.


With this examples I say Adventure Time also shows that there is chance for people to change. Or to know they were good and why they broke bad. Magic Man and Martin share a tragic past that broke them for long, but they had their redemption time. Or not, but we could see what they were like before.

Binge and Chill

request from @toppdoggfanfics (i’m so glad you loved the bagels haha, hope you like this one too~ i apologize beforehand for the choice of series huhu but i can’t help it.)

Hi can i request for a ravi fluff where he gets jealous of your ex??? Thank youuuu!!!! I really loved the bagels one~

Ravi/Kim Wonsik x reader

Originally posted by animefoodissugoi

Free day. Check.

No work the next day. Check.

Comfy long couch. Check.

Popcorn bowl. Check.

Soda and beer. Check.

Flat screen TV. Check.

The three new episodes of Game of Thrones that you and your boyfriend have to catch up on. Check.

Your boyfriend, Wonsik, sitting next to you. Check

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Dove

Lots of warnings on this one, so please read them first! This is a very important story for the Reader and Tony’s relationship. You get to see a more tender side of him, that he doesn’t always show.

Please, if you have any feedback, I would love to hear it.

Also, thank you so much to @writingruna for helping me make sure that this story has a worthwhile purpose!

WARNINGS- MENTION OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, MENTIONS OF CUTTING, MENTION OF PREVIOUS SUICIDE ATTEMPT, MENTION OF SELF HARM, PANIC ATTACKS

TIMELINE - 2014

~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~

You’re so selfish. What is wrong with you? You couldn’t breathe. You tried to stop, but your sobs ripped themselves from your throat loudly.

You huddled in your office, by the bookshelves, trying not to let the panic take full control. Of course, it was pretty much too late for that. The panic had set in a long time ago.

There was a gentle and hesitant knock on the door, and you froze. What were you going to do? How would you explain this?

The door opened slowly, and Tony peeked his head inside. You were only mildly relieved that it wasn’t Steve or Bucky, wondering why you weren’t in the apartment.

Tony looked to your desk, expecting to see you there. You took note of his dishevelled appearance. What was he doing up so late? When he noticed that you weren’t at your desk, he ventured a little further in. Looking around confused, probably wondering if he had imagined the sound he had heard, he scratched his head.

It wasn’t until he turned to leave that his eyes fell on your diminutive form. His tormented brown eyes met your tear filled (E/C) ones. You didn’t say a word. You didn’t even attempt a smile. You just lowered your gaze, resting your head on your knees again.

Tony looked unsure of what to do. He had never been much good at emotional support. Even receiving it from other people was sometimes difficult for him.

After some thought, he decided to walk over and slide down the wall to sit next to you. A few awkward moments later, he put an arm around you, not certain if you would appreciate the gesture or not.

You did, and you leaned into him.

Tony remained completely silent for the longest time, listening to your anguished crying. He knew that there would be no point in asking you anything until you calmed down a bit. Instead, he pulled you closer to him with his free arm, and held you.

He panicked slightly when that seemed to make you cry even harder. However, he did not pull away, your hand holding desperately onto the front of his shirt.

In time, your breathing became more regular, and though your grip on him never loosened, you were able to calm yourself.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed, throat sore.

“You don’t need to be sorry. Just do what you have to do,” Tony replied quietly. He had no idea if he was saying the right thing or not.

“I’ve probably stretched the front of your shirt,” you said, but still did not release your grip.

“I’ll buy another one, send you the bill,” Tony shrugged. He felt a flicker of relief to hear a small chuckle.

“What’s going on?” he finally asked you.

“I’m a horrible person Tony,” you whispered. “Such a horrible person.”

“(Y/N), I’ve known you a while now, and I can say with absolute confidence that you couldn’t be any more the opposite of a horrible person,” Tony replied evenly.

“I guess I’m just good at hiding it.”

“What’s made you think that you’re a bad person?”

You didn’t reply straight away. How could you possibly say the words out loud. You would lose all of Tony’s respect, and you shuddered to think what would happen if he told anyone else.

Do I even deserve his respect?

“I… I miss him.”

“You miss who?”

“I miss James. As I knew him. My James. And that is so horrible, because I must be one of few widows that have had the chance to be reunited with their husband.”

Tears were welling again, and you did your best to speak through them, while Tony listened patiently.

“I should be overjoyed to have him back. And I am. I really am. I promise I am,” you were practically begging him to believe you, “but he can’t remember how we met. He can’t remember our wedding. He can’t remember our first time. He can’t remember me singing him to sleep after a nightmare.

“He can’t remember my favourite book and he can’t remember how I like my tea. He can’t remember the day he introduced me to Steve. He can’t remember how he tried to comfort me when he was shipped off for the war, or how many times he saved me.”

You were talking slowly, and deliberately. Like you needed Tony to understand.

“He can’t even… he can’t even remember loving me… he just knows, somewhere deep down, that he did.”

Tony was astonished by all you had to say. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea you felt that way, and I should have paid more attention. But Dove, none of that makes you a horrible person. All it makes you is a person.”

You shook your head, and retreated further into his arms. “I’m selfish. I’m a disgrace. I don’t deserve… I don’t deserve to have him back. I don’t deserve Steve. I don’t deserve you.”

“(Y/N), do you realize that this is the first time you have needed me to comfort you?” Tony asked. You had no idea where he was going with it, but it was Tony. He had a reason for everything he did.

“It doesn’t mean that I don’t trust you…” You tried to explain.

“That isn’t what I’m getting at. In the two and a half years I’ve had the pleasure of knowing you, I have never been able to comfort you. And yet, you’ve helped me through at least three major breakdowns. And you never complained, or told anyone else, or even made me feel bad, or weak.”

Tony held you closer.

“You have no idea how much that means. How much I owe you. I’m the one that doesn’t deserve you (Y/N). None of us deserve you.

“And yet, here you are, convinced that you’re a horrible person, and that you don’t deserve us. We should have noticed that you were struggling.”

“I’m good at hiding that too, I guess.”

You felt a twinge of guilt as one of your recent cuts itched under your sleeve.

“I am struggling though… I think I’ve been in a constant struggle since James… since I lost him. I’ve thrown myself into work, and I’ve done my best to help others. But even that… I’m tired Tony. I feel stretched. No matter what Steve tells me, I’m weak. I’m… broken…”

The relief you felt at saying the words out loud was heavily outweighed by your need to scratch you arm. Why was it so itchy all of a sudden?

Tony watched you fidget awkwardly, noticed your hand drop from his shirt and move to clutch your left arm. Too hard.

“(Y/N),” he said gently, taking a hold of your hand, and removing it from your arm. He grasped it, and looked into your eyes. He could see the dark desperation in them. It was something he had never noticed before, but was now sure was always there, hiding behind the twinkle your eyes usually possessed.

“I’m not strong Tony. I’m weak… I’ve done such… horrible things, to try to cope,” you whispered.

“(Y/N)? What have you done?” Tony asked you, concern etched into the creases around his eyes.

You could feel another panic attack coming on. But you couldn’t keep it to yourself any longer. It was eating away at you, and had been for such a long time.

You pulled away from Tony so that you could shrug your jacket off. Then, you pulled your shirt up over your head, leaving you in the singlet you often wore on cold days.

Tony’s eyes wandered over you. He saw so much damage. Faded scars from your father’s abuse and shrapnel damage from the war. Scrapes and bruises, evidence of your time as an Avenger. The long lines on your wrists from when you were a desperate teenager, who couldn’t find any other way out.

And then his eyes fell on your left arm. Old and new scars and cuts could be visible across much of the flesh. Some looked days old at most. And some looked as if they had been made an age ago.

“Oh, (Y/N),” Tony whispered, a crack in his voice.

You prepared yourself to be told off. You wanted to be told of. To be told that you were an idiot if you ever thought that would do you any good.

But none of that came.

Instead he pulled you into a tight hug. Your tears, that you were sure were all dried up, fell from your eyes. As you sobbed, heart in agony, he rubbed your back, and rocked side to side, trying to soothe you.

“Please, please tell me I’m horrible and stupid. Please!”

He shook his head defiantly. “I’m not going to lie to you (Y/N). You are neither of those things, and I’m not going to lie.”

“How am I… How am I supposed to tell Steve? I can’t bear the way he’d look at me!”

“You don’t have to tell him until you’re ready. I won’t tell anyone. And, he will want to help you, because he loves you so much,” Tony replied, trying to stay calm.

“I don’t deserve his help. I don’t deserve his love.”

“That isn’t true. Not at all.”

“James…” You whispered. “How can I possible let him see? It would kill him.”

“(Y/N), right now you just have to do what is right for you. You need to calm down before you make any decisions.

“I’m not your fa…” he stopped himself from continuing, “I’m not in any position to tell you what to do. So I won’t tell you to stop. But, I will ask you that, before you do anything like this again… Please talk to me about it. Maybe talking will help you not need to hurt yourself.”

You nodded your agreement, pressed into his chest. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry. You never need to apologise for this.”

Tony continued to hold you, staying in place for a long time. How had he not seen how much you were hurting? What you were doing to yourself? How could he have offloaded his pain onto you, time and again, and not realised that you were barely keeping it together yourself? He would never forgive himself for that. Never.

“Tony, you don’t need to feel that way. I wanted to help you, because I love you,” you said.

“I… I love you too Dove.”

Hold Me Down - Young!Derek Imagine - Halsey Series

Okay I’m going to post them all through audio posts bc that’s easier for you to listen to the song haha

Halsey Series Masterlist

Summary; You boyfriend, Dylan [random name generator whoops], though knowledgable about the supernatural, prefers you human. For three weeks - since you were bitten by a rogue alpha - he has ignored your confusions about your new abilities, since he couldn’t help. You’ve had enough, and you go to someone you know can help, and that’s the Hales.

Warnings; shouldn’t be any :) lemme know if there are

Word count; 974 [it was simple, and the lyrics are repetitive, sorry]

-

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anonymous asked:

How would monsta x hug you? I still have feels from the recent one omg U guys are the best.

war flashbacks to the boys hugging someone at their fanmeets. cries softly into hands. GUYS I’M NOT OKAY I THINK AMY JUST TUGGED AT MY HEARTSTRINGS AT 1AM IT WAS SO HARD TO ADD MORE I G2G

& sobs thank you omfg we aren’t the best we’re slow af but thank you for loving us anyways ; u ;;;

Wonho: to never let you go. to hold you and kiss your cheek. to remind you that there’s always a home in his arms. to remind you that you’re someone he cherishes. he’d wrap them around your from behind and he’d love to envelop all of you into him, as much as he can. he’s the one with fingers dancing across your stomach and tight embraces. once you’re in his arms there’s nowhere else you should be and there’s no one else he’d rather hold.

Shownu: to keep you safe. he’s that teddy bear you can curl up to for hugs and bury yourself in his arms. he’s the one you run to when your head goes into his chest and you don’t have much to say. he’s the one who’s just a little too soft and not too big. he’s the one who rubs circle into your back, and curls his arms around your body from the front. his hugs are the ones that are soft and reassuring and they give you the comfort you need.

Minhyuk: to make you smile. his hugs are animated, they’re running hugs, they’re smashes against your body, they’re meetings at the airport kinda hugs, with tangled arms meeting one another and arms struggling to grab hold of every part of your body. of hands tickling your sides and holding you close when your squirm. they’re childish and playful and they’re the kind of hugs you just want more of, even if you didn’t think you needed any in the first place. his hugs will always, without fail, bring a smile to your face.

Kihyun: his hugs are filled with warmth and love and you swear you can call him home when his arms are wrapped around you. he’s got your head tucked under his chin, arms secured around you and it’s enough to tell you that you have nothing to worry about. his arms tighten around you sometimes and he’ll start swaying a bit. one hand’ll go up and he’s running his fingers through your hair and tunes are leaving his lips. he doesn’t have to speak, his hugs are enough to tell you that you’re everything he needs and he doesn’t want to let you go, he refuses to.

Hyungwon: to keep you to himself. his arms fit around your frame like a shield. he hugs you to pull all of you to his chest, and to place kisses to the top of your head before resting his chin atop it. to keep you tucked into him and give glares at anyone who dares look your way. to keep all of you are shielded and to keep all of you to himself, to be selfish. his arms will slip around your waist and to your stomach. he’ll lean down and blow air onto your neck, his entire body pressed towards yours and head against your own.

Jooheon: to remember you. when it’s been too long, or when time hasn’t passed at all and the air is too much to bear. when he wants to know what it feels like to be calm, to be himself, to be free of anything else, he holds you. it’s at random, it’s from the back usually and it’s whenever and wherever. his arms will wrap around your neck and he’ll nuzzle into your neck. if you jump, and you usually jump it’ll be right into him and that’s what he wants. it’s all he wants, to feel you and know you’re there.

Changkyun: to speak to you. when there are things he can’t quite voice. when he’s tired, when he’s worried, when he’s annoyed, when he can’t voice feelings that are new or troubling he pulls you to him. at first it’s from the side and then you’re in his lap and he’s leaning into your side and his head is on your shoulder. it’s what he doesn’t say when his arms find themselves latched and his fingers against your rib cage he knows he doesn’t need to speak. when he doesn’t need to answer and you find a small comfort in this teacup fit he seems to adore.

@gammagiant

  -I don’t trust the Other Guy

  That part was likely the part that made her angriest. She would have dealt better with hearing him say that he didn’t trust her. Nevertheless, it was back to the Hulk ordeal. 

  “No, Bruce- you listen to me. I trust you! I trust him. Neither of you would hurt me.” She countered, angry tears touching at her green eyes as she stayed planted where she stood, glaring across the short distance at him. 

   “You are so bloody selfish.” Tau began, arms folded firmly across her chest.

Just takin' a sec to be sentimental about my bf.

@crazy-nerdy-trash

You and I

Before I met you
I was hollow and cold
But then you came
Strong and warm and bold
Like a ray of sun
Dripping from the sky
You illuminated my path
Revealed all my lies

I am not okay
Perhaps I never was
Yet I say I am
I hide it just because
I want you to stay with me
I want you to love me
I want to let myself be selfish
In your arms is where I want to be

To be honest I am scared
To be honest I am confused
In this game or life
I neither win nor lose
I exsist somewhere between
Always second best
A cold and gnawing fear
Is settled on my chest

I wonder if I’m good enough
For you,
In truth I’m really not
Yet I’m too much a coward to do anything
My strength is all for naught

I’m scared to be alone
But I’m scared to let you see
Inside my long lost soul
Inside the real me

But somehow you make it better
When I’m with you it fades away
With you I can ignore
My brain’s steady decay
You’ve saved my life several times
Though I doubt that you know it

You’ve stopped my hands from doing things
That I may soon regret
For that I know my life is yours
I’m forever in your debt

I wish I could say that’s the end of it
If I could I would
To keep you safe and happy,
I should say it I really should
But this relationship should be built on honesty
You should know what you’re getting into
And I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you
I really never meant to

Coming Home Again (1/1)(PG-13)

A/N: Teeny McKirk angst and some wrestling.

Leonard doesn’t see Jim for the next two weeks after he’s discharged from the hospital. At first, he puts it down to the press, the politics, the crush of people and hierarchy that’s always separated them. He’s fine with it, he is, but after the fifteenth day passes and he hasn’t received any comms, any messages, hasn’t even seen Jim except for on the news, he starts to panic.

The McCoys have never handled panic particularly well, and Leonard’s no exception. He calls Spock first, though, because he still has some reasonable grasp on his sanity, and tries to get a grasp on the situation before he charges off into the skyline.

“Doctor.” Spock sounds precise, unsurprised, and Leonard’s not entirely sure if he expected anything else when he called. “Is there something that you require of me?”

“Jim’s not answering my calls,” Leonard answers tersely. “I just want to check up on him.”

There’s a small pause, short enough that Leonard can’t quite tell if it’s intentional. Then, “May I inquire as to the nature of your concern?”

“The nature-” Leonard splutters. “I’m his friend, Spock. I’m worried about him!”

Another ambiguous silence. “I will forward the address of the captain’s residence to you, Doctor, if you are willing to grant a request of my own.”

Leonard kneads at his forehead with a hand, pushing back an encroaching headache, and sighs. “Okay.”

“If the captain wishes to know where you obtained this information, you did not receive it from me.”

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He taught me how to drink.
Drops of alcohol stung my cherry lips
streamed through my pure veins
and poisoned my thin blood.
My vision blurred to a dull bokeh
and my body felt unbearably incapacitated
yet as if I was floating on air
at the same time.

The strange thing about being intoxicated is
you will feel euphoric
as your senses heighten
and your inner child
finally comes out to play.
But in actuality you know you are being constricted
inescapably trapped in your fears
forcibly dragged to the floor
and you cannot bring yourself back up.

He taught me how to feel this way.
Like everything was right as rain
when I knew that in reality
my imagination had been ceased
and I had become a person nothing other than
a voiceless girl belonging to his selfish arms
and he made sure to hold me tight
vigorously forcing me back at my escape.

every
time
a relapse.

He is the poison Flowing through My veins.

—  T.bailey