shibolet3  asked:

Wait what con artist from 2014

I’d like to title this story “Swing And A Miss

Okay, so my high school had this program where seniors could leave school like a month and a half early and opt out of exams if they took on internships around the neighborhood, but not everyone wanted to/was eligible to do it. Back in like 2013, they had like 15 bored seniors stuck in the school, so the administration brought in this Professional Life Coach, left him in alone in a room with them for two hours to talk to them about like, self-esteem or some shit. All the kids were pulled out of their classes for this*, and later told the administration that they loved him, they really enjoyed the talk.

So, about a year later, we have a new principal. He’s supposed to set up an assembly for all the 11th and 12th graders, but he doesn’t know what to do. One of his coworkers mentions that there was a life coach that was a huge hit with the kids that didn’t do community study last year, so maybe he’d also be great for a larger audience. The principal basically thinks “okay, what the hell” and calls up and hires Jason C. Jean to come talk to the kids.

Now, it’s like, 10:30, maybe 11:00 in the morning, and two entire grades are getting shepherded to the main gymnasium, and no one wants to God damn be there. We ain’t got time for self esteem talks. We want to sleep. And this guy, watching us all drag our feet in and collapse into the bleachers was just like…offensively peppy. There’s a couple faculty members sitting behind him, the woman who suggested he be hired for this, the vice principals for the grades- but the principal himself kept getting calls so he was in and out the whole time.

Now, Mr. Jean was like…the chill “Just call me by my first name dude” history professor at college times 30. He was trying so fucking hard. I’m referring to him as ‘Mr. Jean’ in this story just to be disrespectful. So anyway, we all get in there, and he tells us right off the bat “You guys are totally allowed to be on your phones and laptops during this! I get it! It’s no problem, like really, I insist!” so while the faculty members are exchanging smiles that read ‘how do we kill that while respecting him’, all the kids are immediately pulling out their electronics and he’s starts his speech.

Now, again, I really wanna reiterate that he told us we could be on our phones- because when the news articles started coming out about this, I remember all these angry, annoying comments from old people like “Why the hell were the students on their phones in the first place! So disrespectful! These damn millennials and their social media!” like, they were completely ignoring the entire story and just focusing in on kids using the internet, and it Really Super Pissed Me Off, so. Again, we had permission for this (which also ended up being Mr. Jean’s fatal mistake).

So, he starts off this speech fairly normally, like ‘hi, I’m Jason, I’m a professional life coach and I wanna teach you kids about how to be The Best You!’ and like people were tuning him out and listening to varying degrees. Some kids (like myself) were kinda dozing off, and everyone was on twitter or facebook.

His approach to a self esteem speech seemed to be ‘let me tell you my entire life story for hours’ and like, at first I was like “I’m not really hearing this, I’m half dreaming right now” but the more I started making myself pay attention the more…bizarre and rambling his story got.

So like, for instance, he told us he drank a lot in high school. Like, a lot. But he didn’t use that as a ‘don’t drink or party too hard’ lesson, instead he was like “I was fourteen so I always called my parents to pick me up, and they weren’t mad because they knew it meant I could trust them. So remember, always tell your parents when you’re drinking!” and then it kinda got to a point where it sounded like he was encouraging partying and drinking and the like to the group of underage kids.

And then, he told us how he used to play baseball all the time when he was a kid, and at 16 reached a crossroads in his life where the Phillies wanted to draft him or he could go play football for Penn State. And he said he went with Penn State but later lost the scholarship for some reason and we’re like…really.

There was absolutely nothing coherent about anything he was saying- nothing that tied anything together, made a point, seemed like it had anything to do with an assembly on self esteem. He told us at one point he was making upwards of 7 million a year. He told us one time before college he was homeless. He told us he used to own a construction company and built his own branch of nightclubs himself, that he and his friend then ran. He told us he fought a shark and came out with no scars. He told us that he had less money now, because after surviving a work related accident- direct quote- “I fell almost 30 feet and I broke in half” - he decided to leave that industry and spend more time with his family.

So, yeah, I was pretty positive this was bullshit, but there were clearly kids in the room that were falling for it. But then he said something like…he and his friend got bored one day and started jarring up their own pasta sauce, and made a deal with wegmans or some store like that to start selling it, and now he has a pasta sauce empire. Like he spent 15 fucking minutes on this. The way he kept saying ‘pasta sauce’ was so annoying I was about to claw my ears out. But anyway, two girls in my grade wanted to find out what brand he was talking about, so they googled his name.

And then quietly gasped.

And then furiously started typing into their phones.

And remember- everyone, even though they were paying attention- was on twitter and facebook. All the sudden I see heads flying up and wide eyes and people whispering to each other. Mr. Jean doesn’t seem to notice the change and keeps rambling on, but I know something happened so I google him too and-

Okay so basically he’s 1) been arrested, 2) filed for bankruptcy like three times and 3) has been hailed as a ‘Swinger Guru’ by playboy.


So by now, this is a fucking game- he still doesn’t notice anything wrong amongst the kids, so we’re all silently texting each other to fill each other in. Pulling up receipts. But still playing the part of politely intrigued audience members. The school faculty have no fucking idea what’s going on, until one of the students texts her mom, who happens to be the woman that convinced the principal to hire this guy. We see her check her phone, go wide-eyed, and she runs out of the fucking room presumably to either find the principal or hide in terror.

So Mr. Jean had been talking to random people intermittently throughout this speech, but we reach the ‘questions’ part of it. Everyone seems to silently agree that instead of just asking him anything outright, we should just see how good of a liar he was. So they’d be asking him stuff like ‘how much money did you make with ____ company’ and he’d give a ridiculously high number as people were sending each other reports of him filing for bankruptcy during that time. Or they asked him about his construction business which he said was great, and while he was talking about how great it was we were all reading his arrest report, from when a woman hired him to build her house, and he took her money and then like…just didn’t build anything. Wild. Someone asked him about his family and he’s extolling Christian virtues while we’re all on the website for his annual Swing Fest. People would ask him how he got certain jobs and he was making promises to hook kids up in interviews and shit. Everyone was loosing their God damn minds online and just barely holding it together in person. This man was so beyond full of shit- like, he was a God awful life coach but his dedication to lying was inspirational.

We eventually get to leave and everyone is yelling and cracking up and freaking out, all running to our classes to tell the teachers and the underclassmen everything, and the teachers are freaking out, alternating between horrified confusion and laughing hysterically. Before the school day even ended, someone had called a bunch of news stations. The principal was freaking out and denying he had anything to do with it, before calling some students to his office to see what exactly the kids had searched up on the guy…Because apparently teenagers can perform better background checks than school officials. It was all anyone could talk about for weeks.

A couple months after this, for my theater class’ showcase, I wrote and directed a skit called ‘Mason B. Mean’. It was a huge hit. The principal was in the audience. I’ve never seen a grown man look so dead inside. I made sure I was out of the room before he came up to congratulate the cast and everything. The next day, my theater teacher told me his only comment about the skit was a quiet, long-suffering “Why.” 😂😂

Annnnnnnnd that’s the time a Swinger Entrepreneur rambled on about pasta sauce and money in front of teenagers who knew how to use google for almost two hours.
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Emily: I heard people use “party like Corvo Attano” as an idiom back in Karnaca, any idea where this came from?

Corvo, staring blankly, dead as a marble statue and not s single muscle on his face twitching, for a second, before the camera cuts to another scene with extreme abruptness, from deafening silence to the loud cacophony of a busy pub, with his 18-year-old self sitting at the top of a self-assembled chair pyramid, wearing a necklace made entirely of bloodfly husks and a flowery patterned shirt unbuttoned halfway through and chugging on a 2L bottle of imported river crust distilled vodka as the entire crowd yells and whistles, encouraging him: no idea pumpkin

trous·seau, n. [French, from Old French, diminutive of trousse, bundle. See truss.]

Traditionally, a young lady and her mother would gather various items in preparation for her future married life. The collection would be stored in a beautiful chest or luggage which went with the bride on the day she was wed.

Back in those days, things cost a lot more than they do today in proportion of what people earned. For example, a bedspread may have only cost a mere $35 then, but average income per month at that time was about $150!

People were married much younger in those days as well, making it far more difficult to begin a home. Therefore, loving mothers would prepare an easier transition for their daughters by slowly setting aside items they could spare — a bed sheet set here, some gifted china there. In many instances, a mother would begin collecting and preparing their daughter’s trousseau as early as their first birthday. These collections could contain bridal accessories, jewelry, fine linens, cushions, china, silverware, pillows or quilts, toiletries and bath towels — in addition to the standard clothing and lingerie.

Victorian “Trousseau Tea”

In Victorian times, the bride-to-be would lovingly collect a few sets of new clothes to see herself through her wedding, honeymoon and newlywed days. If she was from a wealthy family, her garments would be sewn by a professional seamstress. Most of the time, however, her mother or she herself would sew them with painstaking care, often adding beautiful touches such as monogramming the bride’s new initials.

There was also a pre-wedding tradition called a “Trousseau Tea” which was a get-together hosted by the bride’s mother usually in her home; with neighbours, colleagues and acquaintances invited to view her daughter’s trousseau. It was a moment for those attended to share in the couple’s/family’s joy as well as awe over the bride’s collection in delight and possibly a bit of envy.

Checklist For Assembling One’s Trousseau

✓ Fine table linens: napkins, place mats, preferably monogrammed.
✓ Fine china: plates, bowls, cups, tea set.
✓ Fine stationary: thank you cards, blank cards, a monogrammed stamp.
✓ Candles, drawer liners, potpourri sachets, decorative elements like soap dish sets, etc..
✓ One classic beautiful bedspread, or set of bed sheets.
✓ A self-assembled book of family recipes.
✓ A couple of childhood keepsakes such as books or toys that meant a lot to you and that you might wish to save for your children, even if it’s only to share a piece of your childhood.
✓ A small box of childhood and family photos: a sweet reminder of the family you grew up in.
✓ Beautiful silk pajamas, lingerie.
✓ Lace, lots of lace for embellishing.

5 things you didn’t know about...fog-fighting nanotextures

Credit: Nature Materials

1. Water-repellent nanotextures have now been proven to have anti-fogging capabilities in research conducted by US Department of Energy’s researchers and scientists in France, at the Thales Group, ESPCI Paris Tech and École Polytechnique.

2. The DOE researchers were inspired by the physical mechanisms observed on some insect bodies, which can repel water and oil, reduce reflections and adhere to surfaces.

3. They used self-assembling block copolymers, made up of two distinct molecules forming repeating units, to create nanoscale textures in a range of inorganic materials. Conical nanotextures were found to be most efficient at repelling water and dirt.

4. An optical microscope connected to a high-resolution camera was used to view dew formation on various textures. Water droplets on conical textures were seen to jump off the surface when two drops combined, as they could not adhere strongly to the surface.

5. An understanding of the structure of these anti-fogging materials may be useful in the design and manufacture of aircraft and car windshields and steam turbine condensing equipment. 

To find out more see page 4 of the April issue of Materials World.

Tomoyo canonically provided kuroganes prosthetic arm which CLEARLY means she produces many many lines and varieties of high quality assitive technology from the most user-friendly wheelchair to the self-assembling rolling walker (bc tbh? why do they come w so many finicky parts when theyre for ppl w… mobility problems…. anyway) to the noise-cancelling earplug/headphone/sound-filter/white noise machine/etc machine of every over stimulated persons dream to the cybernetic bionic arm to the text to speech device to the WHATEVER……. like all based on user input not like, fixing disabilities, bc tomoyo is so GOOD and KIND and fucking GENIUS AS HELL to make it happen. I can believe in a piffle that’s maybe not utopian but certainly under tomoyo provides far far far better tools

"hamilton" characters on a camping trip

Alexander Hamilton: tries to physically roast marshmallows by verbally roasting them; eats a random mushroom and starts hallucinating; tries to lead the group in the C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G Song with Laurens but Burr gets annoyed and shuts it down

Aaron Burr: is that one dude who doesn’t put chocolate on his s'mores; brings a self assembling tent that doesn’t work correctly; uses like 3 bottles of mosquito repellent and basically stays in his tent for the whole evening

Eliza Schuyler: used to be a Girl Scout when she was a kid, so shes basically an encyclopedia of camping tips and tricks; tried to warn Alexander about the mushrooms but of course he didn’t listen and now he’s running around singing Nicki Minaj songs

Angelica Schuyler: prepares all the food items for the night; can arrange the perfect s'more with perfectly proportioned ingredients; the mosquitos don’t even go near her, like, she’s so flawless that she doesn’t even need to use bug spray; makes bacon and eggs for breakfast in the morning

Peggy Schuyler: thinks moths are gross af; gets a little whiny because there’s no wifi; has an Anna and Elsa sleeping bag

George Washington: the one hardcore camping extraordinaire dad, complete with hiking boots and crew socks and floppy tan hat; brings a giant backpack filled with camping supplies for like a week; claims to know exactly where he’s going but then realizes he’s been holding the map upside down

Thomas Jefferson: tells the really spooky campfire ghost stories; instead of roasting the normal hot dogs everyone else is having he brings his own applewood smoked bratwurst sausage from Monticello; pokes around at the campfire with his pimp cane

James Madison: gets really scared when Thomas tells his ghost stories but tries not to show it; goes to sleep first but doesn’t actually sleep because he secretly believes that the woods are haunted and that Bigfoot is out to get him

John Laurens: ultimate weenie chef; the only one around the campfire that’s down to sing “kum-ba-yah”; stays up until like 1:30 making shadow puppets with Alexander inside his tent

Marquis de Lafayette: likes his marshmallows cooked until they’re on fire and completely burnt; wanders away from the group and comes back riding on a grizzly bear that he’s tamed at 3 o clock in the morning

Hercules Mulligan: literally bear grylls; leaves the campsite so he can prove to the rest of the group that he can survive the elements; comes back in the morning without pants and holding a raw fish

Phillip Hamilton: runs around catching fireflies and then showing them off to Eliza; decides to climb a tree but gets stuck up there and someone has to help him get down

King George III: brings a fuckin giant RV with air conditioning and a refrigerator; parks it like 5 minutes away from his house

Samuel Seabear-y: plays the clarinet badly; waves his flashlight back and forth really fast; stomps on the ground; eats cubed cheese; wears a sombrero in a goofy fashion; wears clown shoes; wears a hoop skirt; SCREECHES LIKE A CHIMPANZEE

Explorers on a frigid extrasolar world marvel at a bizarre, gargantuan monolith apparently composed of ice. In fact, this strange formation is a virus-like, self-assembling silicon/protein-based pseudo-organism employing ice crystals as a structural building material. These entities “grow” only in mountainous regions where geological veins of specific mineral concentration occur close to the surface, usually iron ore containing significant traces of tungsten and molybdenum. Conductive metallic needles, uniquely compounded from the above elements, sprout from the top of the crystalline formation to collect the substantial radio energy produced by the magnetosphere of the world’s super-Jovian fluid giant host. This radio energy is converted into exploitable electric current and employed in the electrolysis of various gases and organic compounds necessary for the growth and maintenance of the exotic crystalline form.

tldr; organosilicon “trees” made of ice feed on radio energy rather than visible light.

60 seconds on...borophene

Credit: Mark C Hersam

What is it?

A two-dimensional, atomically thin phase of boron.

Who is involved?

A team led by Mark C Hersam, Walter P Murphy Professor of Materials Science and Engineering in Northwestern University’s McCormick School of Engineering.

How is it novel?

Hersam’s team were attempting to integrate borophene, which is synthesised on a sliver sheet, with perylene-3,4,9,10-tetracarboxylic dianhydride, a self-assembling, organic material. When the organic material was placed on top of the borophene it diffused off and onto the silver sheet, on which the borophene sits. An interface was formed between the borophene and the self-assembled organic material.

How can it be used?

The team expects borophene could be used as an interconnect or electrode in 2D nanoelectronic circuits, and potentially a transparent conductor for flexible electronics because of its flexibility and high mechanical strength. The borophene must first be moved off the silver sheet and onto a chemically inactive substrate.

To read more on this topic see page 3 of the April issue of Materials World.

Something that I want to see us, LGBTQ roleplayers, be better about is pulling back on our reactionary instinct to label anyone who says or does something we disagree with as cishet.

I think this is a problem in the larger LGBTQ community for sure, but I want to bring it up on my roleplay blog because this is the community where I’ve seen it happen with the most force. I’m in a really large number of roleplay discord servers, many of which by design or by self-assembly are completely or majority LGBTQ roleplayers.

Something I’ve seen happen time and time again in these chat rooms is my friends or acquaintances jumping to the conclusion that someone is cishet just because they did a shitty thing, or said something they disagree with, or they simply never asked before. And then I’m in the awkward situation of sitting in the corner knowing that I can’t really comment on this reactionary hypocrisy without outing the person they’re talking about.

I’m not talking about something that has happened once or twice. This happens FREQUENTLY.

People who are not out or who do not normally otherwise discuss their gender or sexual preferences have a tendency to out themselves to me in private. I don’t know why I apparently give out vibes that say “I’m a cool person to come out to,” but that’s just the way of things. And then when I see other people talking trash about them behind their backs for their “cishet bullshit” or for “invading the gay safe space” I just sit at my computer and flail because there’s no good way to approach diffusing that situation.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable for LGBTQ people to want a space to themselves where they can vent about unique problems that they share and where they can be themselves without worrying about straight people being weird at them. But I absolutely think it’s a detriment to the community to assume right out the gate that someone is straight (and assume they don’t belong) just because they do XYZ thing you don’t like. Try talking to people first. Ask them questions about themselves. Get to know them. It’s your own goddamn community that you’re shooting in the foot with this manufactured reactionary outrage, and it’s other LGBTQ people you’re forcing away with it.

Not everyone who does shitty things is cisgender and heterosexual. Not every LGBTQ person is a good person (sometimes the people they were talking shit about actually were being shitty! but their shittiness had nothing to do with their sexuality and to say so is reductionist and shortsighted!). It’s a lot more complicated than that, because LGBTQ people are not a monolith.