I’ve been a paperboy, a stripper, a paralegal and barista. At one point I even worked a graveyard shift at a gas station inside a bullet-proof booth, and I’ve made sandwiches at Subway for minimum wage. I’ve managed executive offices from art galleries to software development companies, and prepared burritos at Whole Foods and rotisserie chickens at Costco. I was a photographer for 13 years, a bus-boy at The Cheesecake Factory for three minutes (shortest job I’ve ever had), and spent countless hours in numerous kitchens feeding the hungry. I drafted multi-billion dollar contracts at prestigious law firms for ten years, and made smoothies at Jamba Juice for two. From publishing a book, to cleaning bathrooms or mopping floors, NONE of the things I have done DEFINE me. Does that make sense? Do you see what I mean?

What and who I am has absolutely nothing to do with what I have done when I was younger, nor what I’m currently doing. Who I am is not defined by how much or how little money I have, the clothes I wear, or the vehicle I drive wherever I live. I don’t identify myself by those things, which is good because they’re all so temporary.. lol… those aren’t even all the jobs I’ve had (and I’m only 36)..

It’s important to have an identity that surpasses a job title on a business card, or a status deemed by the bank or society. What I am, regardless of those things, is an instrument of peace. That is my mission, my purpose.. my Ikigai!

If we bring integrity to whatever we do in the world, then we are being of service to others whether we wash dishes in the back of a restaurant, perform complex brain surgeries, manage thousands of employees, drive a bus, fight fires, or raise children at home. Life is not a hierarchy, it’s a celebration! And love is not a word, it’s an invitation. So strive to love who you are. No. Matter. What.

—  Timber Hawkeye
Some people like to call me cocky or arrogant, but I just think, ‘How dare you assume I should think less of myself.’
—  Ronda Rousey (via Smile, Sugar.)

97 Pounds Released in one year on my Public Display of Self Love journey! I am soaring freely and flying boldly, while grounded into my self worth. Gratefully alive! #firstdescents #outlivingit #tarkiochangedme Xoxoxo

But does anyone truly believe in the world that they hold in themselves. We as humans tend to make a habit of believing someone else is as beautiful and as important as the sky, how when you look at it you can not fault it. But when we look at ourselves, the mind that our bodies occupies, we don't look up and admire ourselves, we look down and see all our flaws.
The dirt.
I think we forget that we need dirt, we need soil, without it wouldn't grow, we need it to stay alive because even our faults hold a purpose. 
We have purpose.
—  kitty

Treat yourself the way you would treat your pet. Feed yourself. Go for a walk. Show yourself that you love yourself. Don’t bring yourself around mean people. Don’t let just anyone touch you. Treat yourself. Be gentle with yourself, you’re a living thing and you deserve love and kindness.


Right now, I am sand,
gritty and hard to clean,
always found in places
when you are thought
to be finished with me.

I am hard to get rid of.

I am hard to dismiss.

The entire ocean
tries to wash me clean
and yet I am here,
none too quietly,
being worn down
into something soft.

Right now, I am sand.

But one day
when you have stopped
looking for me
in your pockets,
in your hair,
in those hard to reach places.

I will still be there,
glass fragments and glorious.
I will be windowpanes
and pipe dreams
and clear, colorful blown glass.

I will remember the way
you wanted to break me.
And though I may seem
more fragile,
now I bite back.

And I will not need you
to feel beautiful

#WordsofWisdom. Sometimes shutting out everyone who shows you what you do wrong is good.Stop enabling others to think their worth your time.Your worth it and can make yourself happy. Whether at a movie,dinner,or just enjoying me time. Always know your self worth and how valuable your time and energy is. Live and have fun . It’s a beautiful thing discovering you don’t have to need or rely on someone just to make you happy. If you love you who cares who exits ?

Maybe I'm a brat?

I’m not really sure…

But I have this awful thing about being told ‘no’ even if it’s a gentle no! Like… obviously being reprimanded and told no is embarrassing and uncomfortable (at least to me) but even “that’s not going to work” or “we’ll have to come up with a better way to deal with it than that” makes me uncomfortable. To the point where I get upset about it and worry about it and can’t stop thinking about it!

What is wrong with me? Am I a selfish brat who can’t stand to hear the word no?

I guess I’m worried that when I start asking for things that can’t or won’t happen, it’s going to become a burden to whoever I’m asking. That my questions are going to make that person see that I’m not worth the effort or the time it’s going to take to make the things I want happen. And if they see that I’m not worth the time, they’re going to leave.

So, in order to make sure that they don’t see that and don’t leave, I don’t like to ask questions I don’t KNOW the answer to.

My self-worth is actually that low… at least, I think that’s what it is.

I’m one fucked up and confusing little girl, aren’t I? *sighs, shaking my head and rolling my eyes*

Sometimes I look in the mirror and hate everything that I see. I can spend hours looking at myself and listing all the reasons why I look ugly. But some days I look in the mirror or I pull out my makeup bag and go to town on my makeup and can look at my face and say ‘hell yes’. Today is a day where I feel good in my own skin. To me, marking these days (yes, by taking stupid selfies) is important. Why? Because we live in a society where girls are pitted against each other. Where we are expected to compete and pull each other down constantly. This makes us miserable because we might never be as thin or aesthetically flawless as another woman. And you know what? That’s okay. On days like today I am happy being me. Screw society’s ridiculous idea that I must be prettier than other girls in order to be validated by a male. Screw that. The only one who needs to like the way I look is me. So guess what? I’m beautiful. It isn’t narcissism, it’s self worth. That’s what makes me beautiful.