I promise you don’t know real love, until you have truly fallen in love with yourself. Life is so different then. You live different. You breath different. Your fears are different. Your creativity is different. You think different. You laugh different. But most of all, you love different.
I feel like I’m always trying to elicit a strong emotional response from people whether it’s positive or negative because getting them to feel an emotion helps make me feel an emotion and feeling anything in a small amount is just great.
You may lose your best friend and feel lonely
You may lose the love of your life and feel lonely
You may never return to the city you call home and feel lost
But you will feel the most lonely when you lose yourself.
That’s when you’ve really lost someone worth fighting for.
That’s when you must accept all your mistakes and all your flaws
And that’s when you must forgive yourself.
Because the hardest person you will ever have to forgive is you.
The greatest gift of life on the mountain is time. Time to think or not think, read or not read, scribble or not scribble – to sleep and cook and walk in the woods, to sit and stare at the shapes of the hills. I produce nothing but words; I consumer nothing but food, a little propane, a little firewood. By being utterly useless in the calculations of the culture at large I become useful, at last, to myself.
I never realised how horrible I am to people. My chest is so heavy I didn’t realise it was just me being such a piece of shit towards other people and now i feel sick. I wanna cry. I want to isolate myself from everyone and fix myself.
I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been 'No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.