omg PLEASE make an OC list out of all of your new cryptid/self care posts because I feel like if you compile them you can make a welcome to night vale spinoff
me, standing in the kitchen at 3:34am, wearing nothing but socks and a pair of pants tied around my waist. I am eating tortilla chips with cold shredded cheese and pepper. my hair is a mess and i haven’t slept in 3 days. i realize i am out of bowls so i put a bunch of cinnamon toast crunch into a plastic cup and fill it with milk. i chug it. nightcall by kavinsky is playing quietly in the distance from my slightly cracked bedroom door. i microwave some mozzarella sticks and then disappear into the night
self care is going to a gas station at 3am and fighting your mirror self in the bathroom and then befriending them instead and eating slim jims and drinking gatorade with them in the back parking lot until a serial killer trucker comes to kill you and then you team up to kill the trucker and then you take his semi and tour the southwest united states with your mirror self robbing banks along the way and retiring happily to mexico
i love liminal spaces its like a location that’s dissociating and i feel like if i go there while also dissociating i’ll just ascend to the astral plane
kaijuno: HEY i did it i went to a scruby walmart at like 10pm while dissociating and i felt like i was a cryptid in like ghost walmart or something and it was the weirdest thing i’ve ever done
kaijuno: careless whisper was playing on a loop. there were 3 other people. none of the checkouts were open so you had to use self checkout. i didn’t see a single worker there. multiple lights were flickering.
zero-redeeming-qualities: Here’s the big question though: Are you the same person who went in?
kaijuno: i dont
i dont know
zero-redeeming-qualities: Well, there’s only one way to find out. Go back again, and see if you meet yourself in the bathroom mirror.
kaijuno: self care is fighting your good doppelganger in a walmart bathroom at midnight
Now that I have a car I 1000% am going to do night drives to just eat in restaurants in strange places and watch the sunrise over foreign towns and sleep in strange motels and experience the country but only in its liminal hours when no one else is awake
self care is eating 37 bathbombs and vomiting rainbow foam on your homophobic brother
Self care is climbing Mount Olympus and jerking off on Zeus’ DVD collection
self care is drinking 5 gatorades and supercharging your electrolytes to fight god in a walmart bathroom
Self care is getting high in a dumpster behind a Big Boy and astral projecting into the nth dimension to fight the dumpster raccoons you accidentally hotboxed
Self care is drinking vodka and 6 cans of Red Bull in an IHOP parking lot and ascending to the astral plane and fighting neo-Jesus
Make a podcast with these guys