Speak Up. Speak Out. Just Speak.

I’ve been seeing a few posts about online harassment, cyber bullying, and even just self loathing over the past few days. And it’s driven me to the point where I need to speak up.

Originally, I wanted to have something larger planned for this; get some of my peers involved and make a grand gesture that people could rally behind. 

However, life doesn’t always go as planned. It took me longer than I had anticipated to complete this, and the momentum I used to try to get others involved waned. I’m no leader; I don’t have a commanding presence or the ability to inspire others. I’m a hobby artist with limited time.

But I still care. And I can still try.

If you find the time to re-blog this, add your story to this. You victories, your ability to persevere. The times you supported those who needed it most. Let your voice be heard.

You’re not alone.

The secret about self esteem

You don’t actually have to love yourself to be happy, healthy, and stable. Here are some beliefs that you can work towards instead

  • no one deserves bad treatment, including you
  • You deserve to be treated with self kindness & to meet you own physical and emotional needs
  • Physical appearance isn’t the most important thing, and even if you’re unattractive you deserve to be able to live your life without shame 
  • that no one is expected to be perfect at everything they try, and that it’s ok to enjoy things you aren’t good at
  • It’s more interesting and fun to focus your thoughts outward on the world and other people than to think about how much you like or dislike yourself 
  • That everyone makes mistakes and does embarrassing things, and that an embarrassing event might feel really terrible but it’s not actually a threat 
  • It’s not worth obsessing over whether you are a good or bad person, bc those things don’t really exist. (There are only good & bad actions; humans are way too complex & ever changing to fit into black & white labels)
  • Your thoughts and emotions are as valid & real as anyone else’s

Basically, the goal with all of this is to accept that you can treat yourself with self compassion. It is going to be near impossible to be happy if you constantly tear yourself down, or if you don’t respect needs, but it’s definitely possible to be happy feeling pretty meh about it.

I recommend focusing on things you believe are true for all people, then working back to yourself (for example, that everyone deserves to be treated kindly, that physical appearance isn’t shameful, that everyone makes mistakes, etc). Make self kindness the goal. When you are being mean to yourself, remind yourself to be kinder. If you feel horrible about a mistake remember you are only human. And the rest of the time? Pour your energy into creating meaningful activities in your life. Make art, chase goals, call friends, read books, learn, create, engage. You will find the world is much bigger and brighter when you make room for something besides self criticism.

I wish that no one cared and moved on easily with their lives if I died but I know my death would affect people so I can’t be so selfish and take my own life so I wish that something would make me die already …

6 Steps in Learning to Love Yourself

1.See the good in your past. There will always be things that we wish had never happened; there will always be bad memories and things that we regret. But they are part of who you are – so accept that they have happened and celebrate the person they’ve allowed you to become.

2. Invest time in the things that bring you happiness. It’s important to identify the things that you enjoy, and that make you come alive, and are all a part of “you”. Spending time on those things will help to raise your self-esteem, as you’re valuing yourself when you pursue happiness.

3. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. We all make mistakes - and when we think of them we cringe. But that doesn’t make you any worse than other people. Just try and learn what you can, and then move on with your life.

4. Stop criticising yourself. So often we’re really our own worst enemy. We look for our flaws, and we put ourselves down – instead of being understanding of our own limitations. It’s time to change that behaviour – so start loving yourself.

5. Listen to your instincts and intuitions. If you want to love yourself, you must listen to yourself. Pay attention to those instincts and your instant gut reaction – and trust that you are right when you hear that inner voice.

6. Appreciate your life. Of course there are things that you wish that you could change. But some things are good, and are worth appreciating. So, focus on, appreciate, and make lots of your strengths.