No but listen. Sam holds it together until they knock back a few drinks at the bar and get back to the motel room with bags full of convenience-store pie (”Can’t believe I forgot I love pie,” Dean laments, and settles on the bed, arms crossed loosely, because there’s a cable marathon of Jackie Chan flicks), and then Sam heads out to get some air because the weight of what he almost lost just hits him.
He just walks in the bitter cold until he’s in the middle of nowhere and leans against this tree and cries his eyes out because there’s no way in hell he could continue if Dean died, but he’d have to because Lucifer is still out there and he has to stop him, and then he just slides down to the ground in the damp grass and tries to pull himself together.
And then there is the Bunny™. Sam hugs the fluffy bunny and it wiggles its nose at him and is very soft, and then Sam gets up and runs until he figures his eyes aren’t too red and heads back to the motel (but Dean notices, and throws him a piece of pie, which is Dean for I love you but can we please not talk about Feelings.)
Do you ever just feel down on yourself but you’re not too anxious really or sad or depressed or anything and just kinda lay there and do nothing? Like you don’t feel anything but you just kinda feel. Empty. I guess. Is there a name for this? It happens once in a while.
I just sit there listening to music like “Huh..I’m kinda a shitty person.”