self image angst

Soft

Originally posted by jonesinforbones

Pairing: Bones x Reader

Word Count: 2724

Warnings: MAJOR ANGST (self-image issues, insecurity, self-loathing), brief description of injury, swearing

A/N:  I’ve been feeling not so hot for the past few days so I thought writing about it would help things out. This fic is intensely personal to me, so I hope you guys enjoy it. 

More than anything you were glad your quarters didn’t have a mirror outside the bathroom. You weren’t sure you could handle looking at yourself right now, especially not in the skin-tight uniform top and the short skirt that came with it. You’d convinced Scotty a long time ago to let you wear coveralls instead, but the Captain had called you up to the bridge for briefing on an away mission, and you hadn’t been able to convince him to let you keep the coveralls on. Normally, you’d just pop on a pair of tights underneath and call it a day, but your last pair had torn where your thighs rubbed together and you hadn’t gotten around to fixing them yet.

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  • <p> <b></b> I don't know if anyone noticed, but in 'The Squip Song', when Rich starts singing the whole 'it's pre-programmed, it's amazing' thing, his voice gets sort of,,, echo-y? Like there's this sort of techno thing going on behind it.<p/><b></b> Anyway, I like to think this implies Rich isn't actually the one saying these things.<p/><b></b> His squip is.<p/><b></b> Through him.<p/><b></b>
I thought that
destroying myself was the answer.
If I could tear myself down
and become nothing,
perhaps I could start over from the wreckage
and mold myself to be
everything my parents,
friends, and lovers
wanted me to be.
I would be smarter than straight A’s
and a perfect socialite
and have a body to be envied
and a personality that made me who
everyone else wished they were.
Instead,
I became lost
in the flames of my own war.
—  c.l.m., Self-Destruction Is Not Glorious