self facepalm

  • Hoseok: *blesses everyone with his beautiful singing voice*
  • Yoongi: EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING! MY SUNSHINE IS SINGING!! THAT'S MY SOUL PARTNER Y'ALL!! APPRECIATE THIS! BEYONCE BETTER WATCH OUT CUZ SHE HAS SOME COMPETITION!! I HAVE HEARD HEAVEN! "H" TO THE "O" TO THE "S" TO THE "E" "O" "K"!!!
  • Cassian: If I run at Amren she will almost certainly catch me in her arms.
  • [Amren enters]
  • Cassian: I'm coming in! [runs at Amren]
  • Amren: No I'm holding coffee- [steps to the side and watches Cassian run into a wall]

Scott makes his future self facepalm in the afterlife and Viv kicks ass in Champions #1.MU. Seriously, Viv is on the roll in this issue – she takes down two dangerous members of Freelancers, saves a bus full of people and later saves Kamala’s life.

Freelancers themselves are an interesting bunch. They are a diverse team with an interesting combination of personalities – Might seem to be a very confident leader, but to a point. Panic seems strangely bored of everything, probably because she has an insight into people’s fears. Crush is flirty and a bit manipulative and Hotness made me think “That’s how evil Chase Stein would look like” and now I want to see them fight one day. And Cursed Cass seems like one with a nice combination of powers, personality, and approach – she seems to be sad and pessimistic, calming to be unlucky at everything. She also is invulnerable but has nothing more to it, which can be a problem, as past comics have explored with characters like Butterball. How you make yourself useful with such power? Her answer was to go the same path as Mad Stan.

The story is very simple and straightforward – Freelancers are hired to get rid of people protesting against building an oil pipe through national forest by framing them into starting a riot, getting rid of the media and then beating them up (if that sounds like an implausible thing, please check what is happening in America right now) Champions try to stop them but later both teams have to team-up against monsters falling from the sky. While the issue has an extra number of pages, it’s still impressive how dense with events the story is, with very quick and brief setup, followed by action that allows showing some nice characterization as well as cool moments. We had Kamala wrestle a giant monster, for one, the entire scene with the bus was very cool, Sam and Miles got hit by a meteor. It was fun in a very old-school way I really hope mark Waid will keep this good level with Freelancers, once he gets to write them.

10

“this is about to get real cheesy in a hot minute (and she’ll never admit it, ‘cause, y’know, that’s natasha romanoff for you so you might as well hear it from me) but i feel like we saved more than each other’s asses that day–we saved ourselves too.”

[ a clint barton/natasha romanoff fancast ]

Dear self,

You’re watching a bilingual show. You don’t speak the second language. Don’t switch tabs. You need the subtitles.

Love,
Me

P.S. No, you really don’t have a clue about Welsh. You only recognised the incorporated English words, you muppet.

when my muses refuse to cooperate

Confession time.

Look, a large part of my teen years was shaped by the fact that I read all these historical romance bodice rippers.

You know the ones - he’s a tall, dark, handsome charming or brooding rakehell who’s inevitably named Nicholas or Alexander or something exotic like Sholto (thanks, Dame Barbara Cartland, still not over that btw).  There’s no way in hell that any chapter in that book will forget to rhapsodize over the fine cut of his jacket, his sable-dark hair and his green or blue eyes. 

And of course, the heroine is going to be this spirited, sassy, charming and intelligent (except when Plot Demands She Needs to be Rescued by Rakehell) darling who will make our hero fall in love and leave his rakehell ways.  Add some steamy sex scenes that will inevitably get dog eared because you spend way too much time under your blankets reading them with the flashlight on lest you get caught by Parents, a little drama or mystery, and then happily ever after with babies.

IT IS JUNK FOOD FOR THE BRAIN AND I ADORE IT OKAY?

Anyway, so the reason why I ended up writing a Count Buckula Victorian AU was that I wanted to play with these tropes and it helps that Bucky is currently portrayed by an actor who resembles Classic Trash Romance Novel Hero so perfectly well.

So I try to write Count Buckula at his broody, romantic best and he’s trying, okay? Here he is in a Victorian-era ballroom in his best black suit, blue-gray eyes a-glitter with predatory intent, a ruby the color of blood on his finger and sipping wine that’s about the same color (Grampy is the one, mind you, who eschews wine; Grandson Bucky doesn’t mind drinking every now and then). 

And then he spots Steve.

And Steve is an actual little shit.

Because Steve has this look on his face - you guys know the one - the one that has all the mischief in those seemingly innocent big blue eyes, the one that says, I know you’re thinking of divesting me of my clothes, my sweet Prince and I like that idea very much.

And our Prince catches that thought, quite clearly and he can’t hold it together.

He can’t help but blush a little bit and smile, because his last memory of them together consists of sweet, heated kisses and Steve’s scent of sunshine and apples and Steve’s insistent “more, please, more….” and he tastes that sunshine and apples in Steve’s blood, freely given, freely bestowed and it makes him dizzy, weak at the knees because it isn’t only about the blood - it is a gift, it is precious, it is love….

And Prince Bucky folds like a house of cards at crunch time, does his signature swagger over to his mischievous darling so he can carry him off and of course, we find our supposedly Broody Hero going back to his home and his Grampy with a dreamy smile on his face and lovebites on his neck.

He’s a complete puddle, happily adoring his Steve. 

Poor Grampy is just exasperated because we are vampires, my boy - you should be the one leaving neckbite marks!

BRB.  I need to consider my life and my choices and my idiot, misbehaving Muses….

Victor: Did you hear what I said? My dear little daughter’s about to turn three!
Yakov: Vitya! Do you think this could wait? I’m at work.
Victor: Oh, what a coincidence. I’m at work too. She’s the cutest little thing. You should see her!
Yakov: I’m sure she’s adorable, but stop calling me to gush over your daughter, and during work hours too!
Victor: Not just my daughter! I gush over my husband too!
Yakov: [growling to self and probably facepalming]
—  Source: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

tfw your just a kid at the skate park and your dad makes you wear this really over-the-top obnoxious safety helmet and your just trying to be fairy-kei punk :\

I choose you - Dan Howell imagine

Dans POV

Nooooooooo!!! It’s okaaaaaaaaay!!! I don’t need to catch Pokémon today!“ I protest as I’m being pulled down the stairs by best girl-friend (girl space friend. Nothing else. For now.) y/n.

She shut the door to my flat and dragged me down all the flights of stairs. “Dan it’s an absolutely beautiful day out!” We finally made it out the front door of my building and she finally let go of my hand with the cutest smile on her face.

“But I didn’t even get to lock the door! I whine

She rolls her eyes at me before saying "it’s fine. Phils home, no ones going to rob the houseplants or the food from the fridge!”

~five minutes ago~

Y/n and I were sat on the couch watching tv. Well at least I was, she was starting to stare out the window. She looked so pretty, but I just don’t know how to say it to her. I’m immediately turned away from such beautiful sight to find another Pokémon Go notification. It kept buzzing due to all the Pokémon that were “in my area” but it’s probably just another pidgey.

Y/n got up from the couch and walked towards the window “it’s so nice outside.. Why are we staying inside?” She looked at me with wide eyes and asked “why don’t we go on a walk Dan?!”

Without thinking I said “no.. I’d rather just stay home and play video games.” How dumb are you Dan? Why disagree with y/n?? My internal self is facepalming right about now.

“Dan all you literally do is stay inside.” That’s true “it’s incredibly nice out” true as well, “I want to take a walk and you want to play video games. How about we go for a walk and you can catch Pokemon at the same time?” She suggested.

“I dunno… I haven’t played Pokémon Go in a little bit and I’m kinda over the who ‘going outside thing’ ” I instantly regret saying that.

She pouted a little bit before started to look a bit angry (in a cute way.) y/n got up and made her way towards me. “You know what Daniel James Howell? It’s a fucking beautiful day out, I want to go on a walk and you’re going to catch Pokémon goddammit!!!” She grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the lounge and down the stairs.

What did I get myself into?? Well, at least it’s with y/n.

~time skip~

She looked so cute as she took a pretty big inhale of the London air. I could just stare at her forever. She made me smile like no one else could.

She giggled a little bit before saying “see Dan?! It’s not as bad as you thought it would be outside today. Lets go wander around the city!” Here she goes grabbing and pulling my hand like a child.

“Woah woah woah there let me at least get Pokémon out on my phone before we get lost somewhere!” I say as she pulls me up the street. “I have to admit, it is a day out.” I admit as I’m taking out my phone.

Y/n finally slows down her pace and we’re now casually walking hand in hand, but I don’t think she notices. I honestly hope she doesn’t notice. She looks so happy. I hope she stays in this mood.

Y/n and I wander still hand in hand and about every five minutes she asks me “what Pokémon is that?” Or “can I try catching it?” Or “what do you want for dinner?” All of her small, repetitive question just make me smile. Come to think of it, a lot of things she does makes me smile.

We walk for half an hour and end up finding ourselves in Regent’s Park and it’s starting to get dark and cloudy out.

Sadly, the smile y/n had on her face is starting to disappear. I feel some drops of rain land of my head. I guess she feels them too as she lets go of my hand to stop in the middle of the pavement.

“What’s wrong love?” I ask worryingly. I want her smile to come back.

It starts to rain a harder and she looks down to the ground. I hear her sniffle before starting to shiver. She looks at me with a frown “sorry I dragged you out here, not knowing it would rain in half an hour.” It started to rain harder.

I quickly take off my jacket and put it over her shoulders and lightly push her back so we start walking again. “Hey.. Don’t worry about it! I’m glad we came outside together.” Thunder claps roar over the loud buses and police car sirens. “C'mon y/n lets get inside somewhere before you get sick.” This time, I’m the one to grab her hand and pull her through the city.

I’m running through the pouring rain with the love of my life in my hand. The only thing to make his better would it to stop raining. But it’s London, when doesn’t it rain?

We pull ourselves into a train station sopping wet. I can’t help but laugh at our situation. But y/n still doesn’t look happy. We make our way to the gates to catch a train back to the flat. I don’t think I should grab her hand. But I want to so badly.

“I’m sorry for making you coming out with me today..” She’s still sad. I would do anything to change that.

Go for it Dan just grab her hand.

I overcome my internal thoughts and grab her hand and intertwine our fingers and kiss the back of her hand. “Like I said when we were in the park, don’t worry about it. I’m glad we were together on this fun little journey!” She finally smiles.

She rests her head on my shoulder and says to me “I’m glad we did this too.” Dammit I can’t help but get lost in her beautiful eyes.

“I wouldn’t want to wander, catch Pokemon and get rained on with anyone else.” Shit Dan where is this leading to.. Just go for it man. I’ve got nothing else to lose. “Would you be my Pokémon? Because I choose you.”

That was so cheesy, I would say no to it. But let’s hope she doesn’t say no.

She takes her head off my shoulder and looks at me with her gorgeous eyes. She begins laughing and shakes her head before saying “yes Dan. I’ll be your started Pokémon..” God her smile is beautiful. Everything about her is.

She squeezed out hands before I kissed the back of her hand again. She puts her head back on my shoulder before looking at me again.

“Dan?” She asks.

Lets hope she doesn’t take back what she said a minute ago. “Yes?”

She has the largest grin on her face before saying “did you just ask me out with a Pokémon reference?!”

“I ran out of things to say okay?!?!” I say before we both burst out laughing.

She stops laughing and pulls a straight face and says “Roses are red, violets are blue, if I had only one pokeball, I’d catch you!”

She couldn’t stay serious for long before cracking up again. I love this girl. The train gets to the stop closest to the flat and we get off the train. We get up to the escalator and I hold her hand. I’m glad I can hold her hand and be proud to actually call her mine.

2

Forgive me. I feel it again… the call from light. Supreme Leader senses it. Show me again the power of the darkness, and I’ll let nothing stand in our way. Show me, and I will finish what you started.

trial by fire #3

chapter 3: Understory Burn 

  • “a controlled burn of fuels below the forest canopy, intended to remove fuels from on-coming or potential fires” 

summary: When a series of fires unsettles the city of Magnolia, Detective Lucy Heartfilia unwittingly reignites a war between old rivals. But when she finds herself drawn to one of her suspects, the lines between right and wrong begin to blur.

rated: M for Mature Content (no nsfw scenes in this chapter)

read: part I | part IIall parts

It was beginning to cool down outside; the day’s heavy heat was slowly receding as the setting sun pulled its warming rays down with her, leaving the alleys and walkways dim. The street lamps would turn on any minute now.

Lucy pulled her leather jacket tighter around herself, trying to stop fidgeting. Was she dressed too casual? No. What she was doing was secret - and very stupid, probably - and not an undertaking she wanted to be caught in the middle of by curious eyes. This would be no interrogation, and she needed no bussiness wear.

Not in the sense of what she had been doing ever since she had been promoted to a detective a few weeks ago.

So she had chosen to dress like she always did when not at work: a little less chaste, a little less confining.

After all, the pizza here tasted best when enjoyed with just the right pinch of carelessness. And she certainly didn’t mind the lingering gazes - even if she pretended to.

Still, today she was not here for the food. She was here for information.

But at this point, she feared her gut instincts might have been wrong after all. He probably wouldn’t show up anymore. And why would he? She didn’t blame him.

He’d probably dumped that card in the next trash can without glancing at it twice.

Her lips curved up in a humourless smile as she wondered just how naive she had been. A cop inviting a criminal out to dinner, actually expecting him to come.

“What’re you smiling for all alone? That’s creepy, you know.”

Lucy’s head turned in surprise, eyes leaving the ground to fix themselves on the man standing a little way sideways - an all too confident grin on his face.

Despite herself, Lucy had to take a moment to take him in. From his untied combat boots to the loose t-shirt, or even the leather jacket he had thrown over his shoulder, Natsu Dragneel emanated a sort of rugged handsomeness that made Lucy’s breath catch in her throat.

Not to mention the hair. Pink and unruly strands moved slightly when he inclined his head to the side with dark, curious eyes.

Gone was the grumpy man in sweatpants and a boy’s dragon print shirt.

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