self effacement

Look at the eyes. They can be green, blue, brown or black, but they’ll be piercing with hypnotic intensity. Most people feel nervous and ill at ease under Scorpio’s steady gaze. You’ll have to break the spell and look away first. He’ll outstare you every time. It’s a foolproof identification of the Pluto personality. Scorpio eyes bore deeply into you, mercilessly, as if they’re penetrating your very souL They are.
Next, listen to him speak. The tone can be velvety soft, husky or sharply cutting, the speech slow and measured or clipped and staccato, but what he says will never be self-effacing. Scorpio has total ego. He knows what he is and he knows what he is not, and nothing anyone else thinks will change this knowledge. Insults roll right off his back, and compliments don’t move him a fraction of an inch. He needs bo one to tell him his vices or his virtues. At best, he’ll calmly agree with your appraisal; at worst, he’ll suspect your motives.


Linda Goodman

lavish praise on me, i drew an actual background for the first time in more than a year! the northeast’s been hit with some bad weather the past few days and it’s fucking with the internet.  i had to do something with myself over the weekend so here we are: luscious wintertime indulgence in the form of self-fanart (x). sort of, anyway. 

i’ve been treating these characters really terribly lately in the crossover au so i wanted to do something nice for them. brothers are ~29/19 and bea is 17, you know, for that bittersweet edge.  (i’m not that nice)

I hate Sebastian Stan bc he looks like such a stereotypical hot guy with the sharp jaw and combo dark hair/light eyes and the plump lips like he looks totally intimidating and could easily easily be such a douche bc he’s so hot but he’s the total polar opposite. like he comforts fans with anxiety and goes to meet them in his pjs and reacts to everything with his face and tells his cast mates how much he loves them and is just totally self effacing and humble and the sweetest guy ever and I just can’t believe how lucky humanity is to have him

Born on August 9, 1757, Elizabeth Schuyler – whom Hamilton called either Eliza or Betsey – remains invisible in most biographies of her husband and was certainly the most self-effacing “founding mother,” doing everything in her power to focus the spotlight exclusively on her husband. Her absence from the pantheon of early American figures is unfortunate, since she was a woman of sterling character. Beneath an animated, engaging façade, she was loyal, generous, compassionate, strong willed, funny, and courageous. Short and pretty, she was utterly devoid of conceit and was to prove an ideal companion for Hamilton, lending a strong home foundation to his turbulent life.

[Ron Chernow, Alexander Hamilton, p. 130]
A Morally Empty Man Gave a Morally Empty Speech. This Is Who He Is.
Kellyanne Conway promised Donald Trump’s inaugural address would be self-effacing. “He actually will convey today, I predict, that this is not about hi ...

Biff Tannen is the President. The egomaniacal and narcissistic character, bully Biff Tannen, was inspired and based on the life and times of Donald Trump. Back to the Future 2 was prophetic in this case.

Kellyanne Conway promised Donald Trump’s inaugural address would be self-effacing. “He actually will convey today, I predict, that this is not about him,” she said Friday morning on Fox and Friends. “And that’s a very non-Trumpian thing,” she blurted, inadvertently telling the truth. Hours later, Trump read the whole speech from the teleprompter. Deprived of ad-libs, he used the word “I” only three times.

Will Saletan writes about politics, science, technology, and other stuff for Slate. He’s the author of Bearing Right.

Offstage, however, Trump couldn’t restrain himself. The night before the inauguration, he spoke at a dinner for Republican donors. “We have a speech that I wrote, and worked on with Stephen Miller,” he told his guests, referring to the aide who was assigned last month to write the speech. On Twitter, Trump posted a photo of himself with a pad and pen. “Writing my inaugural address at the Winter White House, Mar-a-Lago, three weeks ago,” the tweet said. In the photo, preposterously, Trump fixed a steely gaze on the camera while holding the pen as though writing.

A normal president doesn’t do this. He doesn’t assert authorship of speeches and fake a picture of himself writing them. At what ought to be the apex of his popularity and grace, Trump is still groping for praise, even for a speech that was supposed to be about other people.

Compare Trump to the last Republican president, George W. Bush. Like Trump, Bush came into office after losing the popular vote. Unlike Trump, Bush used his transition to reach out to Americans who hadn’t supported him. At a rally in Texas three days before his inauguration, Bush spoke of humility, diversity, bipartisanship, and the nobility of politics. “I’ve never been a cynic about public service,” he said. “My dad taught me in the way he lived that life is more than personal gain.”

Bush praised Democratic politicians by name. He called for “putting aside all the partisan bickering and name-calling and anger.” In Texas, he explained, “The respect among elected officials is an extension of the values and diversity of our state. When you talk about Texas today, you’re talking about people from so many different backgrounds, different cultures, and different languages. Any conflicts that once divided us now belong to history. We’re all Texans, and we’re all Americans.”

Two days before his inauguration, Bush addressed a meeting of the Republican National Committee. He challenged his party to become more “inclusive” and to “accept new faces and new voices.” He spoke in Spanish: “El sueño American es para todos. The American dream is for everybody.” Despite the partisan setting, he called for an agenda that would “help people regardless of their party.”

On the eve of his inauguration, Bush went to a concert at the Lincoln Memorial. He spoke with awe of the Great Emancipator. “Whatever your political party, thank you for taking part in this great tradition,” said Bush. He joked that the crowd had come to see his running mate, Dick Cheney. Bush spoke for just three minutes. He was equally brief and modest in a series of “candlelight dinners” for inaugural donors that night.

Bush continued this emphasis on humility in his inaugural address. He introduced America as a “slaveholding society,” a land of “flawed and fallible people united across the generations by grand and enduring ideals.” He warned of the persistence of “hidden prejudice.” He praised mosques for cultivating humanity. He said America’s role in the world was to “protect but not possess, to defend but not to conquer.” He rejected the notion that “our politics can afford to be petty.” He stressed the importance of “private character,” “civic duty,” and “unhonored acts of decency.”

Trump’s week has been nothing like that. On Twitter, he insulted NBC, CNN, “the Democrats,” and the director of the CIA. He branded Hillary Clinton a criminal. He called Rep. John Lewis, who was beaten for his courage in the civil rights movement, a liar who’s “all talk … no action.” (Trump also said Lewis should stick to fixing “crime infested inner-cities.”) Meanwhile, Trump retweeted a picture of himself as “golfer-in-chief” and quoted a supporter who said it’s not Trump’s fault that America is divided.

On Tuesday, speaking to Fox News, Trump escalated his attacks on Lewis. On Wednesday, in what was supposed to be a tribute to Vice President–elect Mike Pence, Trump bashed Republican Gov. Scott Walker of Wisconsin (“He can be really nasty”), Republican Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas (“a little late to the plate”), and Republicans who had formed the #NeverTrump movement (“They’re really right now on a respirator”). He even razzed Pence for having supported Cruz.

Like Bush, Trump spoke at the Lincoln Memorial on the eve of his inauguration. But he showed none of Bush’s modesty. Trump bragged about the crowds he had drawn during the campaign. He complained about the media: “The polls started going up, up, up. But they didn’t want to give us credit.” After the event, Trump falsely claimed he had broken the record for crowd size at a Lincoln Memorial concert: “They never had so many people.” He accused the press of failing to acknowledge his “very good speech.”

The night before he took office, Trump, like Bush, spoke at a candlelight dinner for donors. He boasted that he had trounced the Democrats: “The entire country, practically, other than a couple little points, was red!” He joked, “The other side is going absolutely crazy.” He predicted he would win re-election. He heaped scorn on the media: “All of those live television cameras, I can’t stand ’em.” He summoned Conway to the stage and extolled her prowess against TV interviewers: “She just destroys them.”

The donors applauded Trump’s jibes. But anyone watching his performance with unclouded eyes could see that his ego left no room for loyalty to party, much less to country. Trump mocked donors who hadn’t given to him until after the election. He claimed that his incoming chief of staff, Reince Priebus, had favored him in the 2016 primaries—the way a coach helps his favorite player, Trump said—when Priebus was chairman of the Republican National Committee. Far from crediting previous nominees or presidents, Trump declared: “I outworked anybody who ever ran for office.”

Trump’s narcissism and cynicism seemed boundless. He said blacks had stayed home on Election Day “because they liked me.” He implied that the agency in charge of enforcing immigration laws had supported his candidacy: “ICE endorsed Trump.” He suggested that Phyllis Schlafly, the conservative activist who died last year, had endorsed him out of sheer opportunism. Trump, speaking of himself, paraphrased Schlafly this way: “I don’t care what exactly he is. He’s like an unknown quantity. But he is gonna win.” Trump said Priebus had made the same calculation. In Trump’s mind, these people didn’t care what sort of person he was. They just wanted power. And he admires them for it.

On Friday, a morally empty man gave a morally empty speech. There was no talk of humility, no acknowledgment of enduring prejudice, no plea for decency. Instead, Trump railed against foreigners and “a small group in our nation’s capital” that “has reaped the rewards of government.” In place of Bush’s praise for mosques, Trump spoke of Islam only as a source of terrorism. The man who ran on a platform of “take the oil” fumed that American wealth had been “redistributed all across the world.” He accused countries of “stealing our companies and destroying our jobs.”

This is why Trump is unworthy of your respect. It’s not because he didn’t win the popular vote. It’s not because of his party or his policies. It’s not because of Russia. It’s because of who he is. For all his faults, even those that turned out to be disastrous, Bush was a decent man. He believed in something greater than himself. Trump doesn’t.


(Official Disclaimer)

I’m gonna start with the obvious ones first. Stop being so shy. I hate that it takes so much effort to get to know you guys, and that it’s kinda painful to start a casual conversation because you’re so dang quiet.

Also, expressing your opinions will not hurt you. People aren’t going to dislike you for saying what you think (especially not the way you do it–humble, self-effacing, and allowing ample room for other points of view.) It really honestly frustrates me when you refuse to tell me what you think. I want to know. Really!

I hate that you’re not bold. I know you would be an amazing force in this world if you would just apply yourself, but I think your Fe can cripple you sometimes. You can become so preoccupied with what others think and feel that you lose track of what you think and feel. I hate that because it’s really unhealthy, and frankly, you deserve better. Stop hobbling yourself with the expectations and emotions of everyone else out there. Bring your Ti out–i know it’s in there–and dust off that Se. Have fun. Love Yourself. Conquer your fears.

Liverpool ace Sadio Mane is teetotal and a devout Muslim… he’s far from your average top-flight footballer

Sadio Mane leans back in his chair and giggles. He is a serious kind of man but this time, he just can’t help it.

He has mentioned that he comes from a religious family in Senegal and so he has been asked how often they went to church when he was a child. ‘They are Muslims,’ he says, still laughing, 'so not so much church.’

Mane is popular at Liverpool’s Melwood training ground. He is friends with everyone, known for being humble and self-effacing. If some Premier League footballers give the impression they have been consumed by celebrity lives, Mane does not fit the stereotype.

Many, though, saw his signing as part of a trend under Jurgen Klopp’s management of Liverpool. Klopp, like Sir Alex Ferguson, buys players for their character as well as their football ability and Mane is a man to admire.

He grew up in the small village of Bambali, deep in the south of Senegal, where his father was the imam at the local mosque. When a Senegalese reporter visited last month, he was told that Mane had recently paid for the mosque to be reconstructed.

There were also rumours, the reporter noted, that Mane, like some other high-profile African footballers, was planning to plough money back into the region and start more projects to help local communities.

Keep reading

I didn’t mind the rough jests and crude remarks at our expense. For once, I was pleased to be modestly self-effacing, scrunching back into the corner and leaving Jamie to deal with the rough teasing and bawdy speculations about what we had been doing all day.
“Sleeping,” said Jamie, in answer to one question of this sort. “Didna catch a wink last night.” The roars of laughter that greeted this were topped by louder ones as he added in confidential tones, “She snores, ye ken.”
I obligingly cuffed his ear, and he gathered me to him and kissed me soundly, to general applause.


(I love those light passages of the story) 

The Betty Character is: very open and accepting of all people/experiences/etc, outgoing, social, self-effacing but charismatic, a natural leader but happy to hand over the reins when someone else wants or needs to shine, someone who picks up skills easily/a fast learner, a person with simple needs and desires for her life, not ambitious for the sake of outpacing or outperforming anyone but still quite personally goal-oriented. Betty is romantic! She sees romance everywhere and with everyone. In the Archie comics, Betty is kind of stuck projecting all of her desire onto Archie because her other options in Riverdale are pretty grim, but you can see when, for instance, Jason Blossom or some other eligible guy shows up, she’s definitely capable of being just as boy-crazy as Archie is girl-crazy. But there’s a sweetness to her approach to all things, including when she hits on someone. 

The Veronica Character is: guarded to the point of coming across as mysterious, often cold or even mean as a self-defense mechanism, poised and calculating, clever, good at reading people but not necessarily at relating to them. She holds herself separate from most people because she’s afraid of being put into a box that she’s uncomfortable with -  the bitchy queen bee, etc - but that tends to just reinforce her as those things in other peoples’ minds. She projects an outward confidence that doesn’t necessarily translate into a consistent internal belief in herself. She’s lonely and tends towards cynicism, and is slow to form attachments to people, but also is capable of deep, unflinching loyalty. Things don’t always come as easily to her as they do to The Betty, but when she loves something she works harder at it than everyone else. 

Anyway what I’m saying here is that Kirk is DEFINITELY A Betty and Spock is definitely A Veronica. 

The greater a person’s achievements, the more susceptible they are to corruption. A fruitful yield in life—material or spiritual—may breed an arrogance that corrodes all that is good and G‑dly in it. The solution is a dose of dust. One who saturates his successes with humility and self-effacement guarantees their preservation as positive and constructive forces in his own life and the lives of his fellows.
—  From the teachings of the Lubavitcher Rebbe

I always marvel at how common it is, yet how profound it is. I always laugh because celebrities, you know, you always cringe when you hear them talk about their kids – because they literally talk about like, ‘My child is the only one who has ever exited a womb ever!’ And you’re just like well, a lot of people have done this. So you always want to temper it with a bit of self-effacement, but I love it. I truly worship that kid.

what i say: i’m chill

what i mean: ok but every time i look at arya’s stuff in affc and adwd, i end up knocked flat on my fucking back about the faceless men and how arya is literally facing a physical incarnation of what was so deeply shaking for her as a child.  “don’t be who you are, arya,” “being yourself is nothing but trouble, arya,” “you’re not as good as your sister, arya–you’re no one, arya” and how she is forced every day not to be herself but she embraces it because being herself has caused her so much pain especially after the red wedding when she was this fucking close to seeing robb and her mother again, but every day she’s forced to self efface and self efface and self efface and self efface and self efface and she doesn’t ~~lose herself~~ in it somehow she finds parts of herself in each persona that she adopts and even finds that being ~~no one~~ is an iteration of her that’s still her at her purest: clever, resourceful, constantly adapting, so she can’t really become ~~no one~~ because all of those things that she has to do to become ~~no one~~ are things that are quintessential to her being arya and don’t get me fcuking started on thinking she deserves to be slapped for chewing her lip i’m so fucking done so fucking done


- Harry’s trouble is that he’s never grown up. Anyone can impose on him. 

The Scorpio Male

If a man behaves in a way typical of the personality associated with the zodiac sign of Scorpio, he will have a tendency toward the characteristics listed below, unless there are influences in his personal birthchart that are stronger than that of his Scorpio sun sign.

The typical Scorpio man:
* has strong features
* has penetrating eyes
* has thick eyebrows
* has hairy arms and legs
* has a well-proportioned figure
* has an athletic body
* has a tendency to be bowlegged

Behavior and Personality Traits
* is never self-effacing
* is possessive of what he believes belongs to him
* has to maintain his dignity
* is a law unto himself and is most courageous in adversity
* will give absolute honest advice, appraisal, or compliments
* will move mountains to help someone
* is intensely loyal to friends
* never forgets a kindness or injury
* can be a saint or a sinner, but pursues either course with great zeal

Recognizing the Inferior Function in IxFP

[ quick switch: ISxJ | INxJ | IxTP | IxFP | ExTJ | ENxP | ExFJ | ESxP ]

(excerpts from Was That Really Me? by Naomi Quenk)

Important Features of Dominant Introverted Feeling

Introverted Feeling types are flexible, open, complicated, mild, modest, and often self-effacing.Though difficult to get to know, they are seen as trustworthy confidants who are tolerant of a wide range of differences.Their habitual approach to people is nonjudgmental, understanding, and forgiving. They place a high value on affirming both their own and others’ individuality and uniqueness.They seek to affirm all parties in a controversy and thus readily see the validity of contradictory points of view.

Underlying their characteristic tolerance is an overarching natural curiosity. They find the diversity in the world immensely appealing. ISFPs want to experience as much of the environment, especially the natural environment, as possible; INFPs’ desire for broad experience, especially human experience, may be secondary to their need to understand it.

Both Introverted Feeling types may find it difficult to take a firm stance on issues that are not centrally important to them. As a result, they may see themselves and be seen by others as indecisive and lacking in conviction. In matters in which they hold strong values, however, they are firm and uncompromising in expressing and enacting their beliefs. Introverted Feeling types focus on what is good in others, so they tend to downplay others’ faults, often forgiving them for slights or minor hurtful
behavior. At their best, they accept their own mistakes and imperfections as well, achieving some success in maintaining the inner harmony that is so important to them.

In crisis situations, they typically will hold back to see if others will solve the problem competently.They are then content to follow someone else’s lead. But if adequate leadership is absent, ISFPs and INFPs may assume a dominant role, acting swiftly, confidently, and competently to handle the difficult situation.

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-One who is adept at engaging in polite behavior; an expert in etiquette.

From French “garbe” (grace & elegance) from Old High German “garbe” (preparation & adornment). 1640

Used in a sentence:
“The golden rule of good manners for the garbist is to think of others before himself or herself. In other words, garbism is self-effacing unselfishness.”

Politeness is a useful art
  Which all should cultivate with zest;
It mollifies the hardest heart,
  And soothes the savage breast;
And even villains seem “ all right”
Who “ smile and smile and are” —polite!

Then be as courteous as you can,
  Since fortunes often are bestowed
On those who help some rich old man
  Across a slipp'ry road.
He hastens home, unfolds his will,
And adds a grateful codicil.

My Cousin John teas most polite.
  He led short-sighted Mrs. Bond,
By accident, one winter’s night,
  Into the village pond.
Her life perhaps he might have saved,
But how genteelly he behaved!

Each time she rose and waved to him,
  He smiled and bowed and doffed his hat;
— Thought he, "Although I cannot swim,
  As least I can do that” —
And when for the third time she sank,
He stood bareheaded on the bank!

When, in a crowded train or tram,
  A lady treads upon your feet,
Leap up at once and say "Ma-dam!
  Pray occupy my seat!”
She will not thank you for your zeal,
But what a righteous glow you feel!

When female friends you chance to see,
  Your hat should be removed in haste;
Bareheaded you must either be
  Or else be deemed barefaced.
The breeze that whistles through your
Is music to each lady fair.

If bald or prone to catching cold,
  Accept a tip from ( Uncle Fred,
Who always wears —or so I’m told—
  Two hats upon his head.
With one his homage he performs,
His scalp meanwhile the other warms.

With health and comfort thus ensured,
  He waves his beaver in his hand,—
Its underling beneath secured
  By an elastic band.
A “very gentil, parfit knight”
Is Uncle Fred, and so polite!

If some old lady calls on you,
  Run down and help her up the stair;
Then—if you happen to have two—
  Provide her with a chair.
(If you possess but one, no more,
Make her at home upon the floor.)

I had a friend in the police,
  And no one knew exactly where—
He was so terribly obese—
  To offer him a chair;
For though we pushed them up all round,
He always sat upon the ground.

Be civil, then, to young and old,
  Especially to persons who
Possess a quantity of gold
  Which they might leave to you.
The more they have, it seems to me,
The more polite you ought to be.

Harry Graham - “Deportmental Ditties And Other Verses” -1909

In The Grip – Our Hidden Personality by Naomi L. Quenk (Introverted Feeling Types: ISFP & INFP)

Important Features of Dominant IntrovertedFeeling

Introverted Feeling types typically use their favorite judging function in their inner world, focusing on their personal values and inner harmony. As a result, they tend to

• Appear flexible, open, complicated, mild, modest, and often self-effacing

• Place a high value on affirming both their own and others’ individuality

• Find the diversity in the world immensely appealing

• Find it difficult at times to take a firm stance on issues that are not centrally important to them

• Appear non judgmental, understanding, and forgiving

• See themselves and be seen by others as indecisive at times

• Take a firm and unbending stance when their convictions are strong

• Focus on what is good in others and, therefore, downplay others’ faults

Triggers for the Inferior Function

Introverted Feeling types report the following type-specific factors that are likely to provoke a grip experience:

Negativity and excessive criticism: ISFPs and INFPs find this to be a fertile context for an eruption of their inferior function. Even if the criticism is not directed at them, it brings out their own Extraverted Thinking in black and white form. They may harshly attack others who are being negative and critical-for being negative and critical!

Fears of impending loss and separation: The threat of losing an important relationship or valued activity can trigger an inferior function experience for Introverted Feeling types. One ISFP related that, for her, a grip experience was provoked when her attachments to people were demeaned and invalidated.

Violation of values: Introverted Feeling types quickly flip into their inferior mode when an important value has been violated. Their typical tolerant and mild manner is replaced by categorical promotion of their view of things. This is especially true regarding the value they place on their own competence. They may see themselves as less competent than they really are, obsess about some imagined failure, and thus fall fully into the grip of an inferior function experience.

Forms of the Grip Experience

Just prior to falling into a grip experience, the dominant function of Introverted Feeling types may become exaggerated. They become hypersensitive and overreact to imagined slights, paying little attention to actual intuitive information.

As this one-sided approach inevitably leads to further failure of their Feeling function, the energy available to their dominant Introverted Feeling dwindles. Their characteristic tolerance, flexibility; and quiet caring recedes into the background, and Inferior Extraverted Thinking then takes over. They may blurt out harsh and cynical remarks about other people’s excessive neediness or point out others’ minor mistakes.

As a reminder of what Extraverted Thinking looks like in its adapted, dominant form, Table 6 describes what Extraverted Thinking looks like in dominant Extraverted Thinking types as well as in Introverted Feeling types, for whom it is the inferior function. Notice the difference between conscious (dominant) Extraverted Thinking and unconscious (inferior) Extraverted Thinking.

Judgments of incompetence: In the early stages of an inferior function experience, Introverted Feeling types often project their unconscious fears of their own incompetence.

They become hypersensitive to others’ mistakes. One INFP described the experience like this: “I get honed in on precise logic and truth and am very critical, detailed, picky, frustrated, and irritable.” When projecting their sense of incompetence fails to take care of their unconscious issue, the negative energy of the inferior function of Introverted Feeling types takes the form of critical self-judgments. They become focused on their own incompetence. “Everything seems impossible,” said an ISFP. “I begin to lose faith in my ability to do even the simplest task.”

Aggressive criticism: In the grip of inferior Extraverted Thinking, Introverted Feeling types make judgments that are overly categorical, harsh, exaggerated, hypercritical, and often unfounded. The excessive criticism may be immediately directed at themselves, or it may focus first on the objectionable qualities of others, only later culminating in severe self-criticism. One ISFP described the experience like this: “I become extremely critical of others. My humor becomes biting and cynical.” An INFP said, “I become self-critical, doubting, irritable, inflexible, and more picky I focus on details.” One ISFP sometimes shows her irritation at her husband’s chronic indecision by giving him lengthy, logical accounts of his available choices, adopting a combative, lawyerlike tone.

Precipitous action: Introverted Feeling types in the grip of their inferior function are often overwhelmed by the urge to take some action, usually to correct some imagined mistake or incompetence of their own. But where the dominant Extraverted Thinking type uses differentiated judgment in deciding on what action to take, if any, the Introverted Feeling type’s actions often exacerbate the problem. A difficult situation may be created where there initially wasn’t one. The urge to action can also be seen in attempts to take control. One INFP reported that when he feels out of control, he feels compelled to put things in order and organize them. An ISFP reported taking charge of people and ordering them around.

Ways of Returning to Equilibrium

Introverted Feeling types report that often their grip experiences expire on their own. “I need to go with the flow and allow myself time to experience it,” said one INFP. While in the grip of the inferior function, however, Introverted Feeling types need their strong negative feelings to be validated by others. The worst thing for others to do when they are in this state, they report, is to try to reason with them. This will inevitably call forth angry accusations and rejection. ISFPs can engage their auxiliary Sensing by starting a new project that uses established skills; INFPs can find new energy and motivation by coming up with an intriguing new idea for an on-going project. Discovery of facts that explain puzzling reactions occurs for the ISFP; significant insights that stimulate a new point of view are helpful to the INFP.

New Knowledge

As a result of important inferior function experiences, Introverted Feeling types are able to accept and value their own competitiveness, need for achievement, or desire for power and control-motives that their conscious Introverted Feeling values tend to reject and deny They are also better able to accept and acknowledge their own competencies, as well as their insecurities and failings. They are thus able to temper their sometimes excessive idealism with more realistic goals.


Table 7 summarizes the important triggers for the inferior function, forms of grip experiences, ways of returning to equilibrium, and typical new knowledge gained from the experience for Introverted Feeling types.

A Grip Experience

The following episode was reported by an INFP. However; ISFPs report similar responses to the kind of situation described here.

Attacking Without Premeditation

“I would say I’m normally sarcastic about idiotic TV commercials, politicians, university presidents, and the like,” related an INFP college professor. He went on to explain how he expresses this on a daily basis without any predisposing stress.

But when I’m caught under the influence of my hidden and mysterious other side, I lash out at people close to me-my family and colleagues. I attack suddenly and without premeditation. This ruptures the relationship until we work it out. Recently, I challenged the dean of my university department in a very biting and sarcastic way because he insisted that I follow standard procedures for conducting an upcoming program review. Actually, I approved of the procedures, but I was feeling overwhelmed and uncertain as to whether the reviewers would appreciate my hard work and recognize my expertise. I feared they would give me a bad review and I would be found inadequate. Unfortunately, I barked out my criticism at the dean, who was actually very supportive of me. I recovered my demeanor and made amends the next day by assuring him that I agreed with his procedure.

* This article is from the book “In the Grip - Our Hidden Personality” by Naomi L. Quenk

…Those occasions when the taking of photographs is relatively undiscriminating, promiscuous, or self-effacing do not lessen the didacticism of the whole enterprise. The very passivity–and ubiquity–of the photographic record is photography’s “message,” its aggression. 

…There is an aggression implicit in every use of the camera. This is evident in the 1840s and 1850s, photography’s glorious first two decades, as in all the succeeding decades, during which technology made possible an ever increasing spread of that mentality which looks at the world as a set of potential photographs.

—  Susan Sontag, On Photography, “In Plato’s Cave”