You’re respectful, playful and generally an all around fun guy.
You have many interests and it’s easy to be with you. You certainly aren’t new to the relationship scene; your 20s are behind you. Though you definitely want companionship, you clearly want nothing to do with commitment.
If you’re honest, you told her this upfront. It could be, however, that you didn’t realize this about yourself until you were in the thick of the relationship, and it went down more like this….
….whenever she talked about taking the relationship to the next level, you told her, “I just want it to be easy, fun, and light.”
….when she said, “What do you think about being exclusive?” You replied, “Why should we change anything? Things are great!”
….you finally admitted you never wanted to define the relationship as “long-term” or anything else for that matter, because you didn’t really know what you wanted in the future.
….she discovered you’re literally incapable of saying “I love you.”
….when it came to the point of feeling like there should be “something next,” such as living together or a proposal (you could tell she was expecting this), you got cold feet. The relationship became a never-ending disappointment to her, and she left. Or you ended it, not being able to disappoint her again.
….you told her in the beginning you’ve never met anyone like her and she’s absolutely “the one” for you. You made her feel like the most beautiful, amazing person in the in the universe, but in a few months you started singing a different tune. Not because you didn’t want to be with her, but you didn’t want it to be complicated.
If any of this sounds familiar, you can choose to do nothing and keep repeating the same pattern, or you can think about these options:
1. You can choose to live forevermore in solitude (unlikely if you enjoy companionship).
2. You can keep all your relationships casual (if this is your choice, please be honest of your intent with whomever you date —she deserves to know).
3. You can figure out why you fear commitment and break the pattern.
If option three is attractive to you, be prepared to do massive inner-work. This is not an overnight journey you’re about to embark on. This is where you search your soul until you come to terms with what’s holding you back. Your discomfort with commitment may stem from an event that occurred in your past that has become a roadblock to allowing yourself to open up and move deeper in relationships—such as a break up that left you a crumpled mess, either literally on the floor or at least on your insides.
If you’ve ever experienced gut-wrenching heartache, you know it’s one of the worst emotional experiences you can go through. It affects not only the heart, but mind and body as well, leaving no part of you untouched. It hurts deeply. To open your heart again and again takes courage, which means allowing yourself to be vulnerable.
She understands you’re scared, but she’s tired of dating you only to be disappointed. She knows you like the upside of relationships—the affection, laughing, enjoying each other’s company—but when shit gets real, you get nervous. Your mammalian instincts kick in and you fight or flee. That’s when you say things that make her no longer feel valued. Or, you leave her there, wondering what just happened. She thought you were on the same page and now she realizes you’re in different books.
Know this, you man who wants to keep it simple—it’s time you love yourself enough to accept a love that’s greater than what you’ve been willing to accept in the past.
You deserve more than easy, fun, and light.
You deserve a deep, extraordinary love that can only be found when you allow yourself to be open and vulnerable.
She needs you to man-up and open your heart for her. She wants to love you and be loved by you. She doesn’t want you to hold back or go hide in your blanket fort. She cannot promise you it’ll all work out and that your heart won’t be broken, but you won’t know until you push past the emotional discomfort. No risk, no reward.
Bob Marley said, “The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her.” This from the man who also said, “If she’s amazing, she won’t be easy. If she’s easy, she won’t be amazing. If she’s worth it, you won’t give up. If you give up, you’re not worthy. …Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.”
Some Adventure Time facts, including the romantic tension between Marci and Bonni, the amazingness of AT’s female characters, and BMO’s overall lack of gender on account of BMO being a self aware video game console. I love this show too much. okay.
Why was Lucas so tired and intent on going home during family game night? Why did he seem tired of all of the festivities, despite the fact that RIELY invited him and he SHOULD be over the moon happy? WHY is he then instead really out of it and just wanting to go home…
could it be that the reason he usually enjoys such annoyingly corny city behavior is not Riley? Could it be that the REAL reason he survived NYC was someone ELSE???
IF you’ll indulge me a moment my friends, allow me to explain. The one thing that was different about this escapade of our core four was that a certain someone was distracted. (Which is a giant understatement btw) because MAYA Penelope Heart was preoccupied the ENTIRE night with a certain Uncle Boing. Could it be that Lucas, who up until tonight has been used to being the focus of Maya’s banter and attention was feeling a little “left out.”
The interesting thing about this feeling left out is the fact that he was ACTUALLY being showered by attention from Riley, who the ENTIRE episode was making a point to include her friends. That was the main conflict in this episode for pete’s sake! Yet somehow Lucas doesn’t feel quite right w/o his usual altercations with Maya. Could it be that Maya actually means a lot more to him than he is aware of?
Because see, usually he enjoys Riley’s antics and finds them adorable but this “aww-ing” at Riley is ALSO usually done in sync with MAYA. Could it be that Lucas’s New York actually revolves around a different person? Could it be that that person is MAYA??? I think yes.
(Sidenote: The one time in this entire episode Maya does acknowledge Lucas’s existence is when he mentions his “mama” for the first time, and her only comment is to say “Mama?” questiongly with a weirded out expression on her face. Mind you this is season 1 so this is supposedly before Maya’s teasing started “getting” to Lucas, but rather than having a snappy come back for Maya as he’s ALWAYS had up until this point (remember in season one it was mostly continuous banter back and forth, and then seaosn 2 happened and it turned into Maya doing it MORE and Lucas steadily getting more and more bothered by it till we have the “Can I run” scene and THEN the campfire scene). BUT instead in THIS current moment his reaction is no witty come back but like smile-less-ly he turns to ahemJOSHahem and asks him what he call’s his Momma. WHY ask Josh????? HMMMM????
I’LL TELL YOU. It’s cuz our lil huckleberry is jealous!)