Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a dool for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way. (What happened to the doll?) It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born: a Festivus for the rest of us! And at the Festivus dinner you gather your family around and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year. (And is there a tree?) No, instead there’s a pole. Requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting.