seen story

Harassment of Men

The past few days have seen a lot of stories of harassment on social media, and the beginning of men feeling bolder to say “I too have been sexually harassed”, often assuming they won’t be believed or they’ll be attacked for it. I guess there’s a couple things to say about this (and the predicted reactions from a Feminist Big Other that most of these posts fear.)

(I’m not really qualified to talk about what it feels like as a woman being harassed, so all I can say is my sympathy for them.)

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First off, fighting fire with fire is dangerous territory. Many of those men (not all, but many) have felt an atmosphere in liberal circles that has become very hostile to insecure, low-status men, because of a pervasive assumption of male-guilt. Sexual assault is real, but so are misguided accusations, and both of them have ruined lives. A lot of rationalism was at least socially driven by a desire to push back against “guilty until proven innocent” social norms.

It’s always so tempting to fight back by first calling hypocrisy. Rather than stand up for IUPG, why not throw in a “men should get this protection too!”

I can’t say “don’t do that, don’t share your story.” But if your concern was “victim mentality” and an atmosphere of fear, giving both sides the opportunity is only going to double the fear, not cancel it out. The assumption that 50% of the population is guilty is not good, but the answer is not to say “100% of the population should be presumed guilty.”

(If you really think “the fights social justice have been picking are tactically sound, they just need to include my group too”, then by all means, take up their methods.)

Is this a story you need to share because it’s burning your chest until you get it out, or are you trying to balance some political scales? My support if the former, but if the latter… think about what you want to stand for.

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Obviously there’s going to be feminist pushback against these harassment of men stories, and it will feature “it’s different when it happens to a man. Because of the patriarchy.”

The thing is: this isn’t wrong. Context really does matter. Given the subliminal threat of violence, a governmental and economic playing field tilted to men, romantic narratives in our society about purity, and the humiliation around bruised reputation, the same example of sexual harassment and assault really is worse on average for women. We do not need to hide from this truth.

But social justice culture has turned “it’s worse for women” into “this never happens to men.” Which is where the willful dumbness comes in.

Of course women sexually harass. Of course they grab ass, and send pushy texts, and ignore no’s (both direct and indirect.) Women even get men drunk and rape them. There’s no gender monopoly on the desire for power and blithe indifference to the agency of others.

We can acknowledge that we live in a world where “it’s really worse as a woman to get harassed (or more) than it is for men” and “men are possessed of no special malice that makes them harass that women don’t have too.”

anonymous asked:

What is your opinion on love spells

Long story short: it’s complicated, lol. 

Honestly what other people do with their magic is on them; their life, their morals, their consequences. But I will never condone or recommend anyone do targeted love spells, and you will certainly never find that sort of thing on this blog. 

I personally don’t like casting love spells at all, it makes me feel weird. Even if they aren’t targeted, I still usually end up breaking them within a week of their conception. They still work, or breaking them causes the opposite effect, so you think I’d just learn and freaking not already lmao. 

To me, love spells themselves are complicated things. My experiences with them have been complicated, I’ve seen a lot of stories about them that make me wary of them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not discrediting them in any way; I know they work, sometimes scarily so, and I think that’s why one needs to be wary of them. You’re playing with something as fickle and chaotic and, yeah, even volatile, as another human’s emotions and feelings - there’s really no way to predict the outcome of a love spell, because there are so many factors to love and romance and lust that we may not consider. 

Some people say that there are some of us that make love spells into some scary thing. That we shouldn’t make such a big deal out of it. But I know my own comfort levels, I know my morals, and that’s why my opinion is at it is. I never said it applies to everyone else, or others have to believe it. But it is true for me, and sometimes that’s really all that matters in magic. 

Y’know what I’m tired of? 

That stock sci-fi story where aliens arrive and take over the world, and they’re seen as saviors bringing technology and progress but are secretly malevolent and evil tyrants, but the only ones that realize it are the plucky, gruff, outgunned Resistance fighting for humanity and Freedom™!

How about a story where the noble Resistence are actually a bunch of backward racist terrorists attacking the imperfect but well-meaning aliens along with a slowly blossoming cross-cultural symbiotic society because whaddya know, humans finally start thinking of the big picture and getting their shit together but the well-armed xenophobic relics of a bygone little-world can’t stand it and lash out violently. How about that?

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LGBT + happy ending

WHY I LOVE U

Venus in Aries: I heard your laughter before I saw you. And then I couldn’t take my eyes off you. And after everyone had gone home we were still running around, or you were running I was just trying to keep up. You work hard, play hard and love even harder, but you like to try on a couple of sizes before you find the right fit. It’s the way you make me laugh at the most ludicrous things, the way you know exactly what you want and are not afraid to go and get it. You make me feel like anything is possible. Our love was like a tickle war turned makeout session, and I still remember the heat when our skin touched. There will never be anyone like you. 

Venus in Taurus: Being with you is like coming home. Like a perfect dream. Like lavender candles and cuddling up to a marathon of our favourite show. You kissing me between every episode. You don’t like playing games and you don’t like being rushed when falling in love. You take your sweet time, worshipping my body and my mind so my heart can’t help but follow. I remember those lazy Sundays, strolling through the furniture store, your hand in mine and we would pretend to decorate our future house. But all we came out with were more lavender candles and a burning lust for each other. You turn the mundane into something truly magical. 

Venus in Gemini: You drive me crazy, I never know where we stand. We spend the most incredible nights together and then I don’t hear from you in forever. Maybe that’s your style, you wanna look me in the eyes and not read my words on your phone. We sit for hours and people watch, making up backstories for them. When I’m with you I have no sense of time, all I can think about is your mischievous smile and the way you play with my hair. Your love is all-consuming, like nothing in the world matters to you more. With you my sense of reason is completely clouded, I’m yours for the night and every other night. If you’ll have me. 

Venus in Cancer: My hero, my sensitive babe. Your heart on your sleeve, that look in your eyes and I was yours forever. When you kissed me I could see our lives flashing before my eyes. Sitting on opposite sides of the sofa. Your nose in a book but your hand on me, like you needed to be connected to me or else you’d die. Every time you catch me staring at you I can’t help the grin on my face. You are fragile and strong, creating this protective space around us where we can just be together. I love how you’re not afraid of your feelings, and how you already named our kids even though we need to discuss it lol. You make it feel so real, like you are the missing piece of the puzzle. 

Venus in Leo: I remember the first time I met you, it all happened so fast. At a party, my friend introducing you and before I knew it your arms were around me. I remember melting into your hug, and the electricity in the air when we finally let go. Everyone else thought it was weird but we both knew, there was no turning back. Being with you feels like running through a field of flowers, faster and faster. Your laughter and your moans echo in my head. My legs feel like giving out but your hand refuses to let go of mine. It’s that smile after you say something clever, and they way you make me feel like it’s just me and you versus the world. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this loved. 

Venus in Virgo: You make me feel whole. Driving down the freeway blasting our songs, I can’t sing but you don’t care. Your hand on the stick shift and for some reason I got all hot inside. It’s the way you wrap your arms around me at the checkout line, like I’m yours and you don’t care who knows. You’re thoughtful and observant, you make me feel like I matter to you. And it’s not an act, you are actually that kind. I’m trying so hard to describe you, but all I can think about is that night when my family fell apart. You drew a bath with bubbles and you held me until the water went cold. Then we ate raspberries (my favourite) and watched Modern Family. And then you loved me until I didn’t feel like I was falling apart anymore. I think that describes you more than words ever could. You’re the one I see sitting next to me on our porch doing a crossword puzzle, in our old bodies. But it doesn’t scare me because your spirit is forever young. 

Venus in Libra: Being in love with you is so easy. Our first date was to the movies. You gave me a red poppy and held my hand the entire time, gently playing with my fingers. My heart was about to beat out of my chest but somehow I was calm, because you were. I love the way you talk so easy, with that breezy confidence. Like you’d never tell me a lie. The way you were charming and kind to everyone from the bus driver to the server at the pizza shop. After talking to each other all night in the park, it was the only place that was still open. My mum still asks about you. I think she loved you more than I did, and that’s saying something. 

Venus in Scorpio: God, the way you tear me apart and then put me back together. Over and over again. You of all people know that life isn’t always chocolates and roses. You’re not afraid of the ugliness of human nature, instead you try to find the silver lining, the beauty in the madness. You demand that I’m honest with you, and in turn you trust me with your own secrets. It created a bond beyond love, or maybe it was love. It just felt different, like it was based in reality and not a love story. You’ve seen me at my worst and still think I’m beautiful, because you see people’s souls. Nobody can hide their true nature from you for you are an expert of reading between the lines. Your animalistic passion penetrates deep, and everything becomes a haze of lust and obsession. Because if you’re not obsessed it’s just not worth it. I would trust you with my life, because you would sacrifice your own for the one you love. 

Venus in Sagittarius: We had just gotten comfortable on the top of the mountain we climbed when you hit me with “Do you think out of seven billion that some people have the same personality?” And you packed my favourite sandwich, tomato, mozzarella and basil. A moment of breathless kisses and triumph. Your strength made me feel strong too, and your devotion made my heart swell. You never stand still but it doesn’t matter, because you take me with you and always make sure I’m alright. You make me feel included, showing me off and introducing me to all your friends. I’ve never felt more proud than when I’m standing next to you. When you told me how much you loved me I knew it was true. 

Venus in Capricorn: The true romantic. What drew me in was that calm stare, you looked like trouble I swear I was gonna faint on the spot. You could keep up with me, and when you took my hand and said “Trust me?” I somehow believed you. But what made me fall for you was how you kept all your promises. Your presence is honest and true, the way you make me feel like I would never be alone, like I would always have a friend. I love falling asleep in your arms to your heartbeat. You’re gentle with me, I can feel your love in every touch. Your love made me believe I could do anything, because I knew you would stick by my side. If I asked you to. 

Venus in Aquarius: Keep it cool, that’s how you roll. Almost untouchable, but you let me touch you. It was like the seasons changed in seconds. You finished that last drop of champagne and said “Let’s get wet”, then we jumped in the pool. And then you kissed me. It felt like breathing underwater, I don’t even think you live in the same world as the rest of us. I texted you at 2 a.m. and you didn’t hesitate. Trapped between your body and the wall, your lips on my neck and I was already in heaven. I never thought you loved me back, until you showed up on my doorstep, whiskey on your breath and tears in your eyes. After that I never doubted you, because I knew then that your love was more than words. 

Venus in Pisces: With you it’s all about the moment, and moments with you are plush and whimsical. Like sitting on a cloud. You are still the only person to ever write me a poem. And when you asked me if I liked it, how you let me see your vulnerable side even though the look in your eyes was sheer terror, you were brave. I was at loss for words so I just kissed you deeply. You see the beauty in the little things, like asking me about what I dreamt last night or giving me cupid earrings so they could whisper sweet nothings in my ear when you’re not around. Your love is poetic, you actually think of me and what makes me happy. Whenever you see something that reminds you of me you always let me know. I can’t help but think how lucky I am to be so cherished.

so today my professor told us how she found her 8 year old neighbor crying on his way home from school last week and when she asked what happened, he told her that while he was at hockey tryouts these white boys called him the N word and told him that black people couldn’t play hockey. she felt so bad for him because she said he was always sweet and well mannered to her. she convinced her brother to give up his tickets to see the Flyers vs Habs game so she could give it to her neighbor. somehow he ended up meeting Wayne Simmonds and the boy’s father told him what happened.

apparently Wayne had a really sad look on his face after he heard what happened but he told the kid to not give up even though people’s words can hurt. and when Wayne told the kid that he believed in him and that he could be the greatest hockey player in the world and maybe even play for the Flyers one day if he didn’t give up, the kid started to cry. later Wayne gave the boy his email address and said that if those boys ever messed with him again, that he was to email him and that he would have his back.

after the boy and father thanked Wayne, he had a big smile on his face and just said, “us handsome fellas gotta stick together, eh?”

“It’s more of like a, like a, like a cry than, than singing at some points in the song, but it’s beautiful, I think. […] When you find yourself so passionate about something, you find it kind of, consuming you and, um, that to the point where it drives you a little crazy and sometimes you’re, like, freaking out and you’re like ‘What, why do I even do this?!’ type of thing and sometimes, like, all you wanna do is just beg for mercy but you can’t, because, you know, you just become so in love.” - Shawn Mendes on Mercy and its production

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“ok but what if aliens are baffled by [neurotypical able-bodied human thing]?!”

Fam you know autistic ppl exist and you seem completely fucking alien to us even though we live on the same planet right

I say that if we’re going to write this “humans are space orcs” shit we’re gonna do it while being inclusive as possible and say that neurodivergent/disabled humans are more easily understood by these aliens of yours. Because they, too, are baffled by all of these things I have legit seen people writing stories about aliens experiencing for the first time and going ?????? or !!!!?!?!??:

  • Sarcasm
  • Facial expressions
  • Quirks of speech
  • Verbal speech
  • Slang
  • Social norms
  • Various types of sensory input being insufficient, or actually physically painful
  • A seemingly endless reserve of energy and attention
  • Physical hardiness
  • Being able to eat just about anything
  • Bureaucracy
  • Extroversion
  • Introversion
  • Going against rules/structures
  • Deviating from a routine

And these aliens are like yes, finally, a human we relate to. A human we can communicate/coexist with comfortably. We like this human. 

I’m lacking in spoons to write about this in detail but feel free if you wanna

People actually expect me to believe that if you throw a group of only one sex inside a fucking maze with no memories, no social, cultural or religious discourses forced upon them, no outside influences of any kind for years and years with only each other to grow close too, trust, survive with, protect, build with, bond with etc. 

That eVERY SINGLE ONE WOULD END UP STRAIGHT??????!??!!