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Personality Disorder: Masterpost

What are personality disorders? How many are there? If you need help to self dx or are just curious as I was while researching this, I hope this post helps you.

Personality Disorders: An Overview

Each of us has a unique personality made up of traits that come from both our genetic make-up and our life experiences and is a vital part of what makes us who we are and how we interact with others.  

A personality disorder is a type of mental disorder in which you have a rigid and unhealthy pattern of thinking, functioning and behaving. A person with a personality disorder has trouble perceiving certain things, such as relationships, people in general and emotions. However, that does not make you dumb, broken or worse.

Personality disorders usually become noticeable in adolescence or early adulthood, but sometimes start in childhood. They can make it difficult for those affected to start and keep friendships or other relationships, and they may find it hard to work effectively with others. They may find other people very scary, and feel very alienated and alone.

In general, individuals with personality disorders may have difficulty sustaining close or intimate relationships. They may experience chronic interpersonal problems, or have difficulties in establishing a coherent sense of self or identity. Others may perceive them to be impulsive, irritable, fearful, demanding, hostile, manipulative, or even violent. Problem alcohol or drug use, mood disorders, certain anxiety or eating disorders, self-harm, suicidal thoughts or attempts, and sexual problems often accompany personality disorder.

The diagnosis applies if you have personality difficulties which affect all aspects of your life, all the time, and make life difficult for you and for those around you.

The different types of personality disorders

Psychiatrists in the UK tend to use an American system of diagnosis which identifies 10 different types of personality disorder. These types can be grouped into three categories, which are usually called ‘clusters’:

♦ Suspicious ♦ - Cluster A ( odd, eccentric )

  • Paranoid
  • Shizoid
  • Shizotypal

The common features of the personality disorders in this cluster are social awkwardness and social withdrawal. These disorders are dominated by distorted thinking. 

♦ Emotional and impulsive ♦ -  Cluster B ( dramatic, emotional, and erratic )

  • Borderline
  • Histrionic
  • Narcissistic
  • Antisocial

Disorders in this cluster share problems with impulse control and emotional regulation. 

♦ Anxious ♦ - Cluster C

  • avoidant
  • depedent
  • obsessive compulsive

One person may meet the criteria for several different types of personality disorder, while a wide range of people may fit the criteria for the same disorder, despite having very different personalities. 

Quick overview of all the different personality disorders

••Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD)••

This is characterised by a lack of regard for the rights and feelings of others, and a lack of remorse for actions that may hurt others. People with this diagnosis frequently ignore social norms of acceptable behaviour; they may disregard rules and break the law. Consequently, if you have this diagnosis you may also have a criminal record; you may also have problem drug or alcohol use. Sadly, this kind of behaviour is also likely to result in difficulties in relationships, with rejection (given or received) a major feature.  

Antisocial personality disorder signs and symptoms may include:

  • Disregard for right and wrong
  • Persistent lying or deceit to exploit others
  • Being callous, cynical and disrespectful of others
  • Using charm or wit to manipulate others for personal gain or personal pleasure
  • Arrogance, a sense of superiority and being extremely opinionated
  • Recurring problems with the law, including criminal behavior
  • Repeatedly violating the rights of others through intimidation and dishonestyImpulsiveness or failure to plan ahead
  • Hostility, significant irritability, agitation, aggression or violence
  • Lack of empathy for others and lack of remorse about harming others
  • Unnecessary risk-taking or dangerous behavior with no regard for the safety of self or others
  • Poor or abusive relationships
  • Failure to consider the negative consequences of behavior or learn from them
  • Being consistently irresponsible and repeatedly failing to fulfill work or financial obligations

Adults with antisocial personality disorder typically show symptoms of conduct disorder before the age of 15. 

Treatment:

Cognitive therapy — first developed to help patients with depression — has recently been applied to ASP.

Medication:

No medications are routinely used or specifically approved for ASP treatment. Several drugs, however, have been shown to reduce aggression, a common problem for many antisocials.The best-documented medication is lithium carbonate, which has been found to reduce anger, threatening behavior and combativeness among prisoners. More recently, the drug was shown to reduce behaviors such as bullying, fighting and temper outbursts in aggressive children.Phenytoin (Dilantin), an anticonvulsant, has also been shown to reduce impulsive aggression in prison settings.Other drugs have been used to treat aggression primarily in brain-injured or mentally retarded patients. These include carbamazepine, valproate, propranolol, buspirone and trazodone.  Antipsychotic medications also have been studied in similar populations. They may deter aggression, but potentially induce irreversible side effects. Tranquilizers from the benzodiazepine class should not be used to treat people with ASP because they are potentially addictive and may lead to loss of behavioral control.

••Avoidant (anxious) personality disorder•• 

Typically, a person with this diagnosis fears being judged negatively by others, leading to feelings of discomfort in group or social settings. You may come across as being socially withdrawn, a ‘loner’. Fear and anxiety may mean that you have difficulty in holding down a job, as well as experiencing difficulties in relationships. This can be very painful for you as you can feel lonely and isolated, while at the same time, fearful of those relationships and situations that might make you feel more included and engaged with a community or circle of family or friends.

You are likely to:

  • avoid work or social activities that mean you must be with others 
  •  expect disapproval and criticism and be very sensitive to it 
  • worry constantly about being ‘found out’ and rejected 
  • worry about being ridiculed or shamed by others 
  • avoid relationships, friendships and intimacy because you fear rejection
  • feel lonely and isolated, and inferior to others 
  • be reluctant to try new activities in case you embarrass yourself.

People with avoidant personality disorder experience long-standing feelings of inadequacy and are extremely sensitive to what others think about them. These feelings of inadequacy leads to the person to be socially inhibited and feel socially inept. Because of these feelings of inadequacy and inhibition, the person with avoidant personality disorder will seek to avoid work, school and any activities that involve socializing or interacting with others. 

Treatment:

Treatment of avoidant personality disorder typically involves psychotherapy with a therapist that has experience in treating this kind of personality disorder. 

Medication:

Anti-anxiety agents and antidepressants should be prescribed for avoidant PD only when another psychiatric problem co-occurs (e.g., anxiety or depression). 

••Borderline personality disorder (BPD)•• 

This is the most commonly diagnosed personality disorder. The term borderline originally referred to symptoms being on the borderline between psychosis and neurosis. Typically, with a diagnosis of BPD, you are likely to have a poor self-image and unstable personal relationships, which are likely to result from mood swings that may involve angry outbursts, which tend to drive people away. Conversely, you may find it difficult to break away from damaging relationships as you are frightened of being alone. Others may find it difficult to relate to you, as your response tends to be unpredictable, or people may be afraid of your anger. While seeking contact and support with others, you may also be quite rejecting of this, which makes it hard for people to engage with, or relate to you. While in some ways inviting rejection, you also find it hard to be rejected and may act impulsively in reaction to this, sometimes threatening, or carrying out self-destructive behaviour such as selfharm or suicide attempts. Life can be very difficult and painful, both for you, and for those who care about you. You may have feelings of emptiness and fear abandonment by friends or partners.      

A person with this disorder will also often exhibit impulsive behaviors and have a majority of the following symptoms:

  • Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
  • A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationshipscharacterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation
  • Identity disturbance, such as a significant and persistent unstable self-image or sense of self
  • Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)
  • Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
  • Emotional instability due to significant reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
  • Chronic feelings of emptiness
  • Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
  • Transient, stress-related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms

Treatment:

Types of psychotherapy used to treat BPD include:

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT can help people with BPD identify and change core beliefs and/or behaviors that underlie inaccurate perceptions of themselves and others and problems interacting with others. CBT may help reduce a range of mood and anxiety symptoms and reduce the number of suicidal or self-harming behaviors.
  • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): This type of therapy utilizes the concept of mindfulness, or being aware of and attentive to the current situation and moods. DBT also teaches skills to control intense emotions, reduce self-destructive behaviors, and improve relationships. DBT differs from CBT in that it integrates traditional CBT elements with mindfulness, acceptance, and techniques to improve a person’s ability to tolerate stress and control his or her emotions. DBT recognizes the dialectical tension between the need for acceptance and the need for change.
  • Schema-Focused Therapy: This type of therapy combines elements of CBT with other forms of psychotherapy that focus on reframing schemas, or the ways people view themselves. This approach is based on the idea that BPD stems from a dysfunctional self-image—possibly brought on by negative childhood experiences—that affects how people react to their environment, interact with others, and cope with problems or stress.
  • Systems Training for Emotional Predictability and Problem Solving (STEPPS) is a type of group therapy that aims to educate family members, significant others, and health care professionals about BPD and gives them guidance on how to interact consistently with the person with the disorder using the STEPPS approach and terminology. STEPPS is designed to supplement other treatments the patient may be receiving, such as medication or individual psychotherapy.

Medication:

There are no known medications that can treat BPD as a whole. A mental health professional may recommend medications to treat specific symptoms, such as mood swings, depression, or other disorders that may occur with BPD.  
••Dependent personality disorder (DPD)•• 

With this diagnosis you are likely to take a passive position with regard to your own life, allowing others to assume responsibility for many areas of your life. You are likely to lack selfconfidence, assuming that the needs of others take precedence to yours. You may find it very hard to even recognise that you have rights and needs. This can leave you in a very vulnerable position as you are reliant on others looking out for your needs and not abusing the position you take within relationships. Other people are more likely to identify this vulnerability as they recgonise your passivity and submissiveness .
People with this disorder do not trust their own ability to make decisions and feel that others have better ideas. They may be devastated by separation and loss, and they may go to great lengths, even suffering abuse, to stay in a relationship. Other symptoms include:

  • Difficulty making decisions without reassurance from others
  • Extreme passivity
  • Problems expressing disagreements with others
  • Avoiding personal responsibility
  • Avoiding being alone
  • Devastation or helplessness when relationships end
  • Unable to meet ordinary demands of life
  • Preoccupied with fears of being abandoned
  • Easily hurt by criticism or disapproval
  • Willingness to tolerate mistreatment and abuse from others

Complications of this disorder may include depression, alcohol and drug abuse, and susceptibility to physical, emotional and sexual abuse.

Treatment:

Psychotherapy is the preferred form of treatment for people with dependent personality disorder. Cognitive-behavioral therapy focuses on patterns of thinking that are maladaptive, the beliefs that underlie such thinking and resolving symptoms or traits that are characteristic of the disorder, such as the inability to make important life decisions or the inability to initiate relationships. Improvements are usually seen only with long-term therapy or treatment.

Medication:

Certain types of drugs such as antidepressants, sedatives and tranquilizers are often prescribed for patients with dependent personality disorder to treat co-occurring conditions.

••Histrionic personality disorder (HPD)•• 

This disorder is characterised by extreme or over-dramatic behaviour, with a need to be the centre of attention. If you have this diagnosis, you may form relationships quickly, but be demanding and attention-seeking. You may also flirt or behave provocatively in order to ensure you attract or retain the attention of others. To others you may appear to be self-centred, with shallow emotions. While you crave attention, this may also be difficult as you may feel you have to entertain others, be the life and soul of the party and that you are dependent on the approval of other people.

You are likely to: 

  • feel very uncomfortable if you are not the centre of attention
  • feel much more at ease as the ‘life and soul of the party’
  • feel that you have to entertain people
  • flirt or behave provocatively to ensure that you remain the centre of attention
  • get a reputation for being dramatic and overemotional
  • feel dependent on the approval of others
  • be easily influenced by others

Treatment:

Treatment can be difficult if you have HPD. Like many people with HPD, you might think you don’t need treatment, or you might find the routine of a treatment program to be unappealing. However, therapy — and sometimes medications — can help you cope with HPD. Psychotherapy is the most common and effective treatment choice for HPD. This kind of therapy involves talking to a therapist about your feelings and experiences. Such talks can help you and your therapist determine the reasoning behind your actions and behaviors. Your therapist may be able to help you learn how to relate with people in a positive manner, instead of continually trying to get attention from them.

Medication:

If the patient experiences depression or anxiety as a part of their HPD, their primary care provider might put them on antidepressants or antianxiety medication.

••Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)••

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder have significant problems with their sense of self-worth stemming from a powerful sense of entitlement. This leads them to believe they deserve special treatment, and to assume they have special powers, are uniquely talented, or that they are especially brilliant or attractive. Their sense of entitlement can lead them to act in ways that fundamentally disregard and disrespect the worth of those around them.

You are likely to: 

  • believe that there are special reasons that make you different, better or more deserving than others
  • have fragile self-esteem, so that you rely on others to recognise your worth and your needs
  • feel upset if others ignore you and don’t give you what you feel you deserve
  • resent other people’s successes
  • put your own needs above other people’s, and demand they do too
  • be seen as selfish and ‘above yourself’
  • take advantage of other people. 

Treatment:

Narcissistic personality disorder treatment is centered around talk therapy, also called psychotherapy. Psychotherapy can help you:

  • Learn to relate better with others so your relationships are more intimate, enjoyable and rewarding
  • Understand the causes of your emotions and what drives you to compete, to distrust others, and perhaps to despise yourself and others

Medication:

There are no medications specifically used to treat narcissistic personality disorder. However, if you have symptoms of depression, anxiety or other conditions, medications such as antidepressants or anti-anxiety drugs may be helpful. 

••Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD)•• 

A person with this disorder tends to have difficulties in expressing warm or tender emotions to others. They are frequently perfectionists, things must be done in their own way. They often lack clarity in seeing other perspectives or ways of doing things, and their rigid attention to detail may prevent them from completing tasks. OCPD is separate from obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), which describes a form of behaviour rather than a type of personality.   

You are likely to:

  • need to keep everything in order and under control
  • set unrealistically high standards for yourself and others
  • think yours is the best way of making things happen
  • worry when you or others might make mistakes
  • expect catastrophes if things aren’t perfect
  • be reluctant to spend money on yourself or others
  • have a tendency to hang on to items with no obvious value. 

Treatment:

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a common type of mental health counseling. During CBT, you meet with a mental health professional on a structured schedule. These regular sessions involve working with your counselor to talk through any anxiety, stress, or depression. A mental health counselor may encourage you to put less emphasis on work and more emphasis on recreation, family, and other interpersonal relationships. Relaxation training involves specific breathing and relaxation techniques that can help decrease your sense of stress and urgency. These symptoms are common in OCPD. Examples of recommended relaxation practices include yoga, tai chi, and Pilates.

Medication:

Usually, a SSRI type medication is prescribed to decrease inflexible and detail-oriented thinking. 

••Paranoid personality disorder (PPD)•• 

People with this diagnosis are often emotionally detached and suspicious of other people and their motives. They may hold longstanding grudges, and believe that other people are not trustworthy, are deceiving, threatening, or making plans against them.

  • People with this disorder assume that others are out to harm them, take advantage of them, or humiliate them in some way.
  • They put a lot of effort into protecting themselves and keeping their distance from others.
  • They are known to preemptively attack others whom they feel threatened by.
  • They tend to hold grudges, are litigious, and display pathological jealously.
  • Distorted thinking is evident. Their perception of the environment includes reading malevolent intentions into genuinely harmless, innocuous comments or behavior, and dwelling on past slights.
  • Their emotional life tends to be dominated by distrust and hostility.
  • For these reasons, they do not confide in others and do not allow themselves to develop close relationships.

Treatment:

talk therapy or psychotherapy are helpful. These methods will:

  • help the individual learn how to cope with the disorder
  • learn how to communicate with others in social situations
  • help reduce feelings of paranoia

Medication:

Medications may include:

  • antidepressants
  • benzodiazepines
  • antipsychotics

Combining medication with talk therapy or psychotherapy can be very successful.

••Schizoid personality disorder•• 

People diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder tend to have difficulties in expressing emotions, particularly around warmth or tenderness. They often feel shy in company, but may come across as aloof or remote, and have difficulty in developing or maintaining social relationships.

  • They almost always chose solitary activities, and seem to take little pleasure in life.
  • These “loners” often prefer mechanical or abstract activities that involve little human interaction and appear indifferent to both criticism and praise.
  • Emotionally, they seem aloof, detached, and cold.
  • They may be oblivious to social nuance and social cues causing them to appear socially inept and superficial.
  • Their restricted emotional range and failure to reciprocate gestures or facial expressions (such a smiles or nods of agreement) cause them to appear rather dull, bland, or inattentive.

The Schizoid Personality Disorder appears to be rather rare.

Treatment:

Cognitive behavioral therapy is designed to change behavior. It can be successful in treating this condition because you will learn how to act in social situations. This may reduce anxiety and reluctance to pursue social relationships. Group therapy is another option and can help you practice your social skills. This will help you become more comfortable in social situations.

Medication:

Medication is generally not used unless other treatment methods are not working. Bupropion may be used to increase feelings of pleasure. Antipsychotic medications can be used to treat feelings of indifference. These medications can also help encourage social interactions.

••Schizotypal personality disorder (STPD)•• 

A person with this disorder typically has problems around developing interpersonal relationships. The condition is characterised by thought disorders and paranoia. To others they may appear odd or eccentric; they may dress or behave inappropriately, for example talking to themselves in public.

  • Unlike the Schizoid Personality Disorder, they also experience perceptual and cognitive distortions and/or eccentric behavior.
  • People with Schizotypal Personality Disorder have odd beliefs, for instance, they may believe they can read other people’s thoughts, or that that their own thoughts have been stolen from their heads.
  • Schizotypal Personality Disorder tends to be found more frequently in families where someone has been diagnosed with Schizophrenia; a severe mental disorder with the defining feature of psychosis (the loss of reality testing). There is some indication that these two distinct disorders share genetic commonalities
  • These perceptual abnormalities may include noticing flashes of light no one else can see, or seeing objects or shadows in the corner of their eyes and then realizing that nothing is there.
  • These odd or superstitious beliefs and fantasies are inconsistent with cultural norms.

Treatment:

Several types of therapy can help treat STPD. Psychotherapy, or talk therapy, can help you learn how to form relationships. You can get this type of therapy along with social skills training to help you feel more comfortable in social situations.

Cognitive behavioral therapy can help you address some of the behaviors associated with your condition. Your therapist can help you learn how to act in social situations and respond to social cues. They can also help you learn to recognize unusual or harmful thoughts and change them.

Family therapy may be helpful, especially if you live with others. It can help you strengthen your relationships with family members. It may also help you to feel more supported by your family.

Medication:

No medications are designed to treat STPD specifically. However, some people with this condition benefit from taking antipsychotic or antidepressant drugs if they’re experiencing symptoms that their doctor thinks be improved with these medications. 

Tips for Successful Arguing

1. Pay attention to time and place. It’s better to deal with things privately, and when neither person is stressed, or pushed for time.

2. Be respectful – and give thought to the words that you are using. Don’t attack, blame or shame or use profane, abusive language. (Often “it’s not what you say; it’s the way that you say it.”)

3. Don’t just pile on the negatives, or list all your grievances, hurts and complaints. Make sure you mention things you are grateful for, and things that are good, and are not going wrong.

4. Try to keep to the topic or your point will lose its focus. It’s easier to deal with one thing at a time.

5. Related to this, try to be specific – and not vague and general. Also, name the emotions you are feeling at the time. I

6. Keep control of your emotions, and try to stay calm. Very little will be gained if you start to lose your cool.

7. It’s not about winning and being seen as being right. The goal should be “improving your relationship”

8. Finally, remember that anger often masks and covers hurt – and is actually a sign that the person’s seeking love. So work on building empathy and deepening your love.

Getting through a 'downswing'

Following [this post], I’d like to write about what to do during a magical or spiritual downswing.

A downswing is a period of magical or spiritual “night”, when abilities and powers seem to be dampened or lost, and the natural connection is weakened. A spiritual dark night is to be expected in the path of any practitioner. A downswing can last for days or weeks.

I am currently in a downswing where I am required to take a magical “break” and not force my abilities. So here’s a list of stuff to do while in a downswing, to keep yourself spiritually aligned and focused on positivity.

MEDITATE on positivity, love, and peace. Engage in meditations once or twice daily. Take the energies from this meditation to carry you throughout your daily life.

REFLECT on your spiritual path as it was before the downswing. Ask yourself what could be improved, what could be added, what could be reduced, and what could be taken away entirely. Closely examine your spiritual and magical paths and ask yourself what can be changed for the better.

MUNDANE FOCUS on your physical life is useful and positive during a downswing. Catch up on chores. Deep clean. Spend more time with IRL friends. Put more focus in to work. A downswing is an excellent time to seek physical balance.

SELF WORK is a good idea as well. Make your downswing a time of resolutions. Work on breaking bad habits and adopting new, positive habits.

SCHEDULE your time. This is especially useful if, like me, magic and spirituality is a huge part of your life. Fill up your time with mundane chores, tasks, and relaxation time.

PLAN AND ORGANIZE your time for when you are done with your downswing. Dissect your magical and spiritual practices. Organize your spiritual practices and have a solid plan for where you want to go when you are done with this period of reflection.

CATCH UP on life! Make a list of the five biggest mundane tasks you need to tackle. Focus on catching up and getting ahead in life.

ACCEPT that this is a necessary and normal period of time that pretty much every spiritually aligned person goes through. You aren’t losing anything. You are not lost. It’s just night time. Dawn is coming on the horizon.

Remember that a downswing is like a break from intense spiritual and magical connection, leaving you time to focus more on the physical and other aspects of your life. Do not think of it as a loss, rather think of it as simply a break or vacation.

Why Embracing Emotional Distress is the Best Medicine Sometimes

Much of our mental suffering is caused by our overwhelming attempt to avoid it. We think experiencing any sort of anxiety is a threat to our existing, but psychology studies have proven that one learns from struggle. One becomes a better human being through heartache. Let us explain with the science behind this theory..

Keep reading

Foodie Friday: Milagu Paal

Ingredients:
-¼ tsp turmeric
-¼ tsp powdered black pepper
-Pinch saffron
-Milk
-Sugar or honey (optional)

Bring the milk just to a gentle boil or simmer on the stove. Add each of the spices and stir to mix thoroughly. Sweeten with sugar or honey if desired. Drink hot to prevent cold and flu.

Note: If saffron is not available either due to expense or lack of local supply, consider using ginger instead.

Magical Ingredient!

Though the cold and flu season is technically done here where I live, it still lingers here and there. And as a kitchen witch, I feel I should always be prepared with a home remedy or two just in case those viruses rear their ugly heads again. Cough drops are helpful when the sickness sets in, but preventative remedies and remedies that are known to truly kick a cold’s ass tend to be a little harder to come by depending upon the situation.

Milagu paal, however, is a great remedy both after catching cold or flu and as a preventative, due to the soothing cream of the milk and the antiviral, antibiotic, and anti-inflammatory properties of the spices mixed in. I’ve covered turmeric and curry in the past, but an ingredient I feel often gets glossed over is the ever-present table spice we all know and love: black pepper.

What we see as peppercorn in our pepper mills and grinders is the dried fruit of the pepper vine, native to the tropical regions of India. Its use can be traced back to antiquity as a spice and as a medicine, as an expensive commodity (so much so that it likely was only affordable for the wealthy of Greece, and was used to stuff Ramesses II’s nose during his mummification ritual).

As a medicine, it was often used to treat illnesses ranging from constipation to insomnia, colds and flu. Pepper oil is used today as an ayurvedic massage oil, and its essential oil remains popular.

The presence of pepper in some traditions of witchcraft is undeniable, and among its correspondences are banishing, exorcism, cleansing, healing, prosperity, cursing, hexing, protection, and empowerment.

Most often, pepper is used for protection. Whole peppercorns may be carried in sachets or amulets to ward against Evil Eye, and pepper can be ground and mixed with salt and eggshell to create a potent protection powder.

In root work, pepper is frequently used in Goofer Dust, Hot Foot Powder, and Crossing Powder - all of which are meant to be a jinx to cause bad luck, keep someone away, or simply prevent others from casting hexes and curses against you.

A common practice is to burn peppercorns prior to saging a new home so as to banish evil spirits and negativity. (If you decide to try this, please be conservative in the amount of pepper being used, else the smoke becomes an irritant to the eyes, nose, mouth, and skin).

Work pepper into spells that are linked to deities associated with war or strength, such as Mars or the Morrigan, in order to give an additional bit of heat to the magic.

If seeking to work a prosperity or wealth spell, try incorporating whole peppercorns, as pepper is historically cherished and remains the single-most traded spice in the world. Trade routes for pepper spanned from India and China all the way to Britain, and later on to the Americas, and pepper trade was part of what fueled trade on the Silk Road. As such, peppercorns have a strong association with wealth and prosperity, making them a great addition to such spells.

In the kitchen, the benefits of pepper cannot be overstated. Both from a magical and a culinary standpoint, a kitchen without pepper flounders just as much as a kitchen without salt. When working your magic in the kitchen, consider what type of meal and what the intent of the meal is in order to determine how you should use your pepper. A pot roast, for instance, is great for health, prosperity, and happiness. Consider using whole peppercorns in the seasoning batch to banish sickness and invite wealth. Or, if you’re cooking a dish to provide protection, channel that intent into it as you grind it in a mortar and pestle or in a pepper mill.

And if someone is afflicted with cold and flu, consider working a protection, cleansing, and banishing spell to cast the illness out and bring in health, such as in a traditional Indian milagu paal!

May All Your Meals Be Blessed! )O(

Tips for Beginners

When typing this title, my phone autocorrected it to “Tips for Whiners” which is hilarious given the circumstances surrounding this post. However, my conscience got the best of me and I decided to title it differently even though there was peer pressure for the original title. However, not all beginners are whiners (by far) and I figured it wasn’t fair to lump people into a group. Plus, this post is meant to be far more informative and encouraging than it is critical and teasing.

New writers are always looking for help and tools to use to get their writing “out there,” wherever that is. They want to build their audience, which means gaining followers and notes on posts. They seek out help, work on their blogs, and write a lot.

However, some new writers fall into a trap of jealousy and complaining. They become frustrated, then turn their frustration into jealousy. They whine about not getting notes and followers, they complain about blogging cliques and unfair treatment, and they adopt an attitude of “Woe is me. The blogosphere is against me.”

This post is meant to be helpful to each group by providing both useful tips and reality checks. At no point do I actually mean to be hateful. Am I sassy, though? Yes. You can stop reading this post at any time, too. You can also take what works for you and throw out the rest. Nothing here is a blanket statement. 

But let’s just get on with it. ( And it is a long one)

Keep reading

Also if you have squares or oppositions be thankful, I know it’s sounds contradicting but hear me on this one. I have seen people who are born with such an easy chart and I found that they do not change, grow or transform easily. They don’t have the friction or spark that exists in the charts of people who have lots of squares or oppositions. Squares and oppositions are the flame that ignite the person to push harder, to seek further and work more for betterment. People who have squares and oppositions are aware of their wounds that are always bleeding over everything they do but they also know they have to do something to be able to heal these wounds in order to live. Sometimes, and in my opinion it’s most of the time but let’s stick with sometime, squares and oppositions are what makes a person a success. Not necessarily famous success but someone who literally made themselves who they are today, they truly know the true meaning of struggle, pain and inferiority and that’s why they want themselves and others to let go of these negative feelings and to always aim for betterment and development.

Sometimes squares and oppositions are the fuel that keeps a person going. The need to conquer, survive and prosper. When I see squares I see a Phoenix in front of me that will rise one day, even if the person is not aware of it yet. I always see potentials in squares and oppositions, always. That’s why they are important to exist and to have, even if they are quite difficult to handle .

Black Coffee And Bad Pickup Lines

Moaui//Hooked Wayfinder Coffee Shop Modern AU

“Black coffee, two sugars for Curly-,” The redhead cut herself off swiftly and turned her sharp gaze onto the man behind the till, hissing venomously under her breath, “Maui, I am NOT reading this out, you creep,”

Whilst on a much-needed break from her bad day at work, Moana seeks out some much-needed caffeine. However, she might’ve found more than she first set out to in the confident, flirtatious barista…

Chapter 1: Are You A Piece Of Art?

Moana Waialiki was not having a good day. Her boss was being even more of a dick than normal, her customers were exceptionally meaner today, and a throbbing pain had started to form between her eyebrows. Currently, she was attempting to explain the 40-day, no-stain return policy to a very loud, very angry woman who claimed that she had NEVER EVEN WORN THE GODDAMN SHIRT. The ‘goddamn shirt’ in question had (what she sincerely hoped was) a huge coffee stain down the front, spanning from the collar to just below the bust, and had very obviously been worn more than once.

“I’m sorry, m’am, there’s not really much I can do about-,”

I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!

“Of course,” Moana sighed half-heartedly as her boss fluttered around the customer delicately, leading her off to the side and away from the scene she had created, but not before shooting Moana a sharp glare. Who knew working in retail would be so hard? Moana groaned, her head falling gracelessly into her arms on the counter in front of her. A hand touched her shoulder carefully, and she looked up to meet a tan brunette with kind green eyes.

“You look like you need an early lunch break, Mo,” Fi smiled down at her gently. Moana opened her mouth to protest, but the tall woman beat her to it, “Go,” she laughed, “I’ll cover you. You could do with some caffeine,”
Moana smiled gratefully as she stood, significantly smaller than the willowy woman by at least a foot, “Thanks, Fi. You’re the best,”

She slipped out of the store quickly, grabbing her bag and coat before walking out onto the busy high street in front of her.

How Moana found herself in the cafe on the corner was beyond her. She supposed Fi’s remark on caffeine had unknowingly drawn her to the small coffee shop. Well, small was sort of an understatement. Lalotai was one of those buildings that looked small on the outside, but opened up into a much larger room. The lights were low, casting a slight shadow over the room and illuminating the deep purple walls ominously. There was music playing; she could pick out the undertones of a glam rock-y bass line, but the crowd was too loud for her to tell what it actually was. Speaking of Lalotai’s customers, every table in the joint was taken and the line stretching from the till to the doors was longer than she had expected for an independent business. Moana busied herself with her phone as she waited.

The mass was almost suffocating, if not slightly rowdy, but she quickly lost herself in the world of the internet. So lost that she barely even noticed when she got to the front of the line.

“What can I getcha, kid?” a smooth voice brought her back to the land of the living.

Moana let out a slightly aggressive “Excuse me?!” (She was just short, okay?!), but the words died slightly in the back of her throat as she snapped her eyes away from her phone. Stood, looking slightly out of place but completely at ease, behind the counter was a tall, chiselled God of a man. He had sun kissed skin and dark eyes, one thick eyebrow raised in obvious amusement. A smirk spread across his face slowly, and no, she was not intimidated. His huge hands rested on the counter separating them, black mandatory shirt sleeves rolled up to expose a sea of tattoos scaling his bare arms.

“What can I get you, you know, to drink? That is what you came here for, right?” He chuckled, and she felt heat rise to her face as her scowl deepened.

“I didn’t- that’s not what I- why would I-,” Moana cut herself off and ground out a, “Black coffee, two sugars,”

“You got it, kiddo- can I get your name?” The barista winked, smirk growing in size. She spluttered slightly, halfway through sliding her money onto the counter, mouth hanging open ready to protest- “Calm it, Curly, it’s for the cup,” He laughed again, and Moana blinked, fully aware that her face probably resembled that of a tomato. She subconsciously pushed her hair out of her face.

“Oh, uh, Moana,”

“Moa-what?”

Moana,”

“Monana?”

“Mo-a-na!”

“Moa- for gods- forget it,” The man scribbled something onto the side of her cup and passed it to the tall woman behind him, who got to work making her drink. She huffed indignantly and stepped to the side so that he could serve the next in line, painfully conscious to his eyes trained on her as she stood fidgeting.

It felt like an eternity had passed of awkward standing around before the tall woman finally turned around, with Moana’s drink in tow. Moana was slightly taken aback; despite her short red pixie cut, pasty skin (a sharp contrast to the dark, shadowy light) and fiery amber eyes, she bore a strong resemblance to Fi. She shook off the thought, however, when Fi’s doppelganger’s permanent scowl grew as she rolled her yellow eyes and dryly called out,

“Black coffee, two sugars for Curly-,” The redhead cut herself off swiftly and turned her sharp gaze onto the man behind the till, hissing venomously under her breath, “Maui, I am NOT reading this out, you creep,”

The barista- Maui (and he thought SHE had a weird name)- smirked, replying without looking up from the register “I’m not creepy, Kate, I’m suave,”

Kate practically growled in response, pushing the cup onto the counter. Moana snatched it up quickly, her eyes growing wide and her cheeks glowing red as she read the message he had scrawled onto her cup;

Curly – Are you a piece of art because I’d like to nail you up against a wall

Moana stood completely still for a whole of five seconds before whirling round, hitting herself in the face with her hair and storming through the crowd as fast as she possibly could, all the while feeling Maui’s burning gaze scorching a hole into the back of her head.

He watched her with a grin as she slammed the door and practically ran down the high street. Kate shot him a pointed look as they swapped positions, her at the register and him working the machines, and he let out a loud laugh.

“One day, you’re gonna get yourself fired,” She shook her head at him. How was he supposed to help himself, though? The girl was stunning, all big brown eyes and thick black lashes, with full lips that made him want to pull her over the counter and kiss her senseless, not to mention that she was a little spitfire with the voice of a freaking goddess- he couldn’t just let this complete stranger walk away and forget him!

“She’ll be back,” Maui hummed under his breath. Kate rolled her eyes again in reply.

A/N:  So this silly little fic is the product of the writer’s block I’ve been having on my bigger Moana fic which I hope to be posting soon. I’d like to continue this fic if I get enough positive reactions and reviews, though, since it was fun to write and so far I haven’t come across any Modern Moaui fics!! Leave a like if you enjoyed it and thanks for reading!!

VINYL (EXBOYFRIEND!CALUM) - PART TWO

+mobile masterlist 

parts; (one) (two)



summary: calum applies to the record shop you work at, seeking forgiveness and, possibly, a second chance.

word count: 1,272

warnings: swearing


There are bad days. And just like good days, they all come to an end. Nothing is really permanent, everything rots, breaks, fades, and dies at some point. Though, not a lot of people fully understand that fact; the inevitability of temporalities is one truth that not everyone has learned to accept.

You had learned that philosophy a few weeks after you were left alone on a cold, Wednesday night, waiting for someone that clearly said they didn’t want to be with you anymore. The same Wednesday night that you spent so many hours rubbing the tears from your eyes and pacing inside the four walls that you couldn’t consider comforting. You had learned to begrudgingly accept that single fact and it helped you forget about the three years you spent with someone who now considered you as another ex girlfriend.

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anonymous asked:

hey there, i was wondering what your thoughts on Sofia Coppola's The Beguiled getting rid of the one black character from the original? i kinda have mixed feelings about it. sofia never has POC in her films anyway and having the only WOC in The Beguiled be a slave is messed up, but i still feel like maybe there should be POC there. i'm still excited for the film but i wish she was subverting a little more of what the book/1971 film had already done, maybe by having the black character do more.

Hey!

My feelings are very similar to yours.

Coppola briefly addressed the issue in one of her Cannes interviews for the movie saying that slavery was so important that she would rather cut the character out than handle it in a half-assed way. That isn’t something I find to be a really satisfactory answer. I feel like if she knew more black women or had collaborated with a black woman writer or if in an alternate universe a black woman was directing that this person would have been able to expand on the character in a subtle way that neither made her a racist stereotype nor reduced her to a walking lesson on how slavery is bad. 

Coppola gets a lot of (imo justly deserved) criticism for her movies being all about white blonde girls. I used to find that aspect of her casting annoying but after seeing The Bling Ring I changed my mind. The Bling Ring was based on a real life group of teens most of whom were Asian or hispanic. In Coppola’s movie she focused on the white characters and the only poc was the ring leader, who was of Asian descent, who was reduced to a co-lead. So after that I realized this is just who she is. She’s going to keep making beautiful movies but they’ll always be about white people.

And let’s get real here: even if she had expanded the point of view of the black character in The Beguiled it still would just be a subplot in a story that is ultimately about white people. Even if she decided that all the projects she’d make for the rest of her life were going to be centered around poc they would still ultimately be about poc as interpreted by a white woman. Which points to the bigger issue at hand here: the reason things like this hurt so much is because there is an industry wide racism problem and women of colour have so much trouble getting projects made and then getting the critical/financial support they need to continue. 

So I have no problem with anyone seeing The Beguiled but I really hope people who are disappointed by the whiteness of her movies go and seek out the work of women of colour. If anyone wants suggestions they can always hit up my inbox! Giving a special shout out here to the TV show Queen Sugar. Ava DuVernay produced and a big selling point was that she hired an all-women directorial team for both seasons of the show. But something that was not talked about but which is also so important was that almost every director she hired was a woman of colour. Off the top of my head she hired Victoria Mahoney, So Yong Kim, Aurora Guerrero, Julie Dash, Cheryl Dunye: feature film directors who have at least one or more movies! So familiarize yourself with their names and their work! And go see The Beguiled if you’re interested in it and drop me a line letting me know what you think. 

Writing & the Importance of Reading

Anonymous asked: “I’m not exactly sure how to word this. I know a bunch of words and how to spell them, but I don’t know what it means or if I did I wouldn’t know how to use it on a sentence. For example, I know how to spell ‘bequeathed’ and how it means to be promised to something or someone, but I’m not sure how to use it correctly in a sentence. Would you be able to help me with this?”

I can’t help you with this exactly, or I can, but for both of our sakes, I won’t. I won’t check grammar or word usage for anyone - or at least I won’t do it for free. With that said, I can offer a few words of advice that will help you expand your vocabulary and bolster your confidence in using words that you might not hear often or use colloquially.  

My advice: read every day. (And here is why…) 

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Pisces in the...

1st house: Very soft and gentle, sympathetic expression, soft eyes.
2nd house: Not attached to material things, volunteers money, muddled finances.
3rd house: No boundaries with thinking, lots of fantasies, confusion with siblings, passive conversation.
4th house: Chaotic and confused family, few boundaries in family, living by the water, wanting an ideal life.
5th house: Sacrificing for children, withdrawn children, psychic or spiritual children, lying children.
6th house: Social worker, charity work, seeking sympathy from co-workers, unrealistic expectations of how the body works.
7th house: Sympathizing with the enemy, romantic compassionate partners, weak partners, gender fluid partner.
8th house: No sexual boundaries, studying dreams, unclear gender.
9th house: Fluid spirituality, supports self-sacrifice, psychic gurus.
10th house: Widely known as mystic, sympathetic public image, father who is deceptive or deluded, volunteering is a full time career.
11th house: Merges with group, water based groups, victims’ groups.
12th house: Fears of water/fish, vivid dreams, charity, out of body experiences.

Being Paul Lahote’s Wife Would Include:

Originally posted by miss-rosalie-hale

Anonymous said:Can u do some being paul labote’s wife would includesss??


A/N: Of course I can, lovely: Though, a quick warning; I’m not the best at these any more, because I haven’t been making much ‘would include’ imagines lately. So sorry if it lacks in awesomeness. I hope that you enjoy, nevertheless though, anon! Thank you for your request, and sorry that it took so long for me to make your request, I’ve been busy tending to my other imagines blogs!


Not my gif. Gif credit goes to the amazing creators!


- By being Paul’s wife, know that you are always protected.

- You two would have your heated arguments but they’d turn out into passionate sex.

- Paul would be devoted to making you happy.

- He’d be the sort of husband that would be hot tempered, say things he didn’t mean, storm out and later come home with an over sized teddy bear, a huge bouquet of flowers or anything sweet.

- If anything, your sex life would just get even better!

- There would be days where he’d come home stressed from work, seeking out one of your heavenly back, shoulder and neck massages, and of course your company, because you soothe him.

- If you came home from work all stressed and upset, he’d definitely be by your side, running you a bath and listening to what’s wrong.

- You would be spoiled rotten!

- If you were pregnant, Paul would do everything for you. You wouldn’t have to lift a finger.

- You’d be like a team, loyal, faithful and loving towards each other.

- You’d have the hottest sex life ever.

- He’d still leave hickey’s all over you, because, let’s face it: The ring on your finger isn’t good enough (in a sense), he needs people to know that you’re marked.

- Romantic date nights.

- “Paul, calm down! He was taking my order.

- “He looked down your top.

- “Shame on him! But it doesn’t mean you can go around punching everyone. I thought we talked about this?

- In a sense, being Paul’s anchor.

- “Run! Run before he terrorizes the village again!” you’d tease.

- Paul kissing your forehead before he leaves for work.

- Getting lot’s of breakfast in bed.

- Paul carrying you everywhere.

- Watching cheesy movies together when the two of you have free time.

- Protective and jealous Paul.

- INTENSE CUDDLES!

- A million “I love you’s” being said by each of you to each other.

- Telling stories to each other about when you were dating.

- “Do you remember when…

- “Oh yeah! I remember that!

- Being totally and utterly in love.


Please keep requesting imagines! If you like it, please follow for more.

VINYL (EXBOYFRIEND!CALUM AU) - PART THREE

+mobile masterlist 

parts; (one) (two) (three)



summary: calum applies to the record shop you work at, seeking forgiveness and, possibly, a second chance.

word count: 1,096

warnings: swearing and mentions of abortion


When Calum was 15, he broke his knee in the middle of a football match. The Maori boy was dribbling the ball as near as he can get to the net and trying his hardest to run from the other team that were chasing after him. He doesn’t remember much, but next thing he knew, he kicked the ball into the goal.

The crowd erupted into cheers. The 15 year old was the first freshman in his school’s history to ever do a winning goal; that fact alone made him giddy and unrelentingly happy, but before he could scream in victory with them, he fell onto his back.

It seemed as if the adrenaline coursing through his veins momentarily distracted him from the popping sound he had heard. As soon as the noise came and his teammates ran after him with gracious smiles on his face, he felt it.

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I sent my Computational Physics professor a frustrated email. I mentioned that I was concerned about passing the class for several reasons including the disconnect between understanding syntax and understanding the purpose of certain blocks of code and feeling socially isolated from the other students in terms of 1) being older than them, 2) not living with them (so even if they promise to work on assignments together they tend to start without me), 3) being the only female in my class, and 4) how arrogant some of my peers are about how course performance is, in their ignorant opinions, directly correlated to intelligence.

Overall, the fact that this semester hasn’t gone my way (partially for reasons I have no control over) has made me less open to seeking help or working with my peers. Because their very loud-spoken opinions about grades and intelligence doesn’t make me feel welcome. That they would judge me. That I would be a burden to them. I just so badly wish I could engage in the collaborative atmosphere like everyone else. But I don’t feel like I belong with them in so many ways.

He sent me a pretty nice email response but I didn’t expect for him to pull me into his office today to talk to me about it. He told me this class is difficult to teach because every student has a very different experience with coding. Some students started in high school, others are doing plenty of it in their engineering classes, while others have no experience. Or, in my case, experience in code that is structured in a completely different logic (so I might as well not had any at all). And that he takes this into consideration when grading the course, emphasizing that he is grading me, not my peers.

This professor is foreign, so he brought up the idea of being a minority in physics. He has had additional hoops to jump through because he is foreign, much as I have had additional hoops to jump through as the only woman in my class. He thinks I am doing just fine and that he knows I’m a good student. That he wouldn’t have recommended I be President of Physics Club next year if he didn’t believe I was responsible and capable.

I still maintain that I don’t think we are completely compatible personalities, but I’m glad he wanted to talk to me about it. Because it did make me feel less discouraged.

Top Ten Underrated Horror Movies (Part 10/10)

We have finally made it to the end

What could my top choice be?

There are so many great movies out there, but when I decided to make this list, I knew there was only one more that would fill my number one slot and throughout the process of making the list, that number one pick never changed.

-

1. American Mary (2012)

Originally posted by spookshowbabydolll

Yes, my top choice also features the amazingly talented Katharine Isabelle.

I found this move either at the end of 2015 or just the beginning of 2016, but once I saw it, it bumped right up my list to favorite horror movies ever. Not just underrated, but IN GENERAL.

It stars Katharine Isabelle and is the revenge movie to end all revenge movies. It is wonderfully twisted and fucked up in all the right ways, like every horror movie should be.

Isabelle plays the role of a medical student, who is going through financial problems, but determined to succeed in her chosen profession.

Originally posted by petermolyneux

Desperate for money to pay her bills, she decides to seek work as a stripper, but because she is a medical student, she is instead offered $5000 to save a man’s life, after being beaten.

Needing the money, she does so, but is immediately struck with disgust returns home, in complete panic over the ordeal. 

She is offered quite a bit more money to perform a surgery, which would involve removing a girl’s nipples and labia, to appear more like a human doll. She offered $10,000 and an extra $2,000 to just show up.

Originally posted by panslabyrinth

Despite the way she felt at the strip club, she agrees and successfully performs the surgery.

Some time passes and during her residency, she is invited to a party, where she gets drugged and sexually assaulted at by her former teacher.

Originally posted by normvndy

Unable to cope with the attack, she drops out of medical school and goes back to the strip club, where she pays workers to bring her attacker to her.

Originally posted by a-dark-and-terrible-thing

She starts working at the strip club and starts working full time as a surgeon for consensual body modification, all while continuing to torture her attacker on the side.

Originally posted by horroredits

This movie takes a new spin on revenge story and as I have said before in my number two pick, Katharine Isabelle is hypnotic on the screen and when she is acting, your eyes stay on her and only her.

What I have explained is only part of the plot and I will not give the rest away, because the element of surprise needs to be there if you intend to watch this.

Originally posted by do-not-sit-next-to-dennis

It is written and directed by the Soska sisters who had a cameo in the film, shown above. 

I have never fallen in love with a horror movie so quickly before and I urge you all to give it a chance, because not a lot of people have heard of this movie and it is such a visual masterpiece.

Originally posted by horroraddict247

Originally posted by weytani

Originally posted by singfromthehair

I will say this though, the climax and ending happens a bit fast and because of that, it does end a little underwhelming, which is a shame, because everything else is just so flawless and absolutely chilling.

I repeat, absolutely chilling.

Watch the trailer and see for yourself. If you are as intrigued as I was, you will find a way to see this movie.


Hide and Seek

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9803408

Klance fic

Hide and Seek


Smooth dark hands, slapped away the pail fingerless gloved ones. The bitterness in his blue eyes, the anger. All Lance could do in that moment when he saw Keith try to explain that he was still “human” yet part “Galra” was futile. That his transformation was accidental and he didn’t mean to lash out.


“How could you possibly help?” Lance grimaced as he pulled his hand back to his head, to stop the blood flow from a gash above his left brow while sparing with Keith. “You’re the enemy!”  


Keith pulled his hand back, his violet eyes wavered for a moment before he looked away. He felt a pressure rise inside of him, as his heart started to race. He let out a deep breath, trying to calm himself, but nothing seem to relieve it. Those words Lance said, really hurt. It struck a chord so deep, he had to leave, otherwise he would lose it right then and there.


“I’m sorry…” Keith turned to leave, looking down at the ground as Lance didn’t reply back. The door opened, leaving Keith to enjoy his escape. Enjoy that he didn’t have to be around people he hurt. Enjoy that he could leave without anyone telling him to wait.


He left Lance as the man continued to look for some medical supplies, pressing hard so the blood flow wouldn’t reach his eyes.


Lance gave an annoyed sigh, as he pulled out a med-kit. He turned around, expecting Keith to be there, but he was gone. With dark eyes, moved his way over to a wash station to clear away the wound and patch it up himself.


He turned on the water, washing away the blood down the sink. The cut wasn’t as deep as he originally thought, but it still hurt. He took a small vile, snapping it between his fingers and the healing medication did it’s work. It stopped the blood flow, slowly rebuilding the skin tissue. He next reached for a bandage and placed it over his left brow.


Once he was satisfied that the wound was properly taken care of, he went looking for Keith. He walked out of the room, peeking his head out of the door. He looked left, then right. The halls were empty, not a sound could be heard.


“Keith?” He called down. His voice echoed down the empty corridor. He gave a frustrated groan, placing his hands in his pockets, figuring he better find the man. “Always something…”

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