seek validation

anonymous asked:

I had to stop following you. You're so... embarrassing posting every fucking emotion on here seeking validation Likes from your thirsty followers. Don't you have any real friends or did they dump your crazy ass too?

We’re sorry to see you go! Thank you for your thoughtful comments and concerns. They will be taken into consideration by everyone here @actuallyjustin This knowledge will be analyzed, processed and used to provide the best possible environment for chasing off sophomoric fuck sticks, such as yourself. Thanks for being the best part of @actuallyjustin!!!

anonymous asked:

"BTS is paving the way for Kpop to be globally recognized - not to seek western validation" Well Shit, I Love Intellectuals! People Don't Seem to See the Difference Between the Two.

ya

20 things I learned at 20

1. You can have only one best friend and that best friend can only be you. Because you may come across a dozen lovely people but the only one who can keep the ‘forever’ promise is you.

2. Family is the most important. This is the only love that is truly unconditional and absolutely pure. They love you when you’re 5 and when you’re 18. They love you in your failure and your success. Their love doesn’t increase because it’s already at its maximum right from the beginning, it’s already infinite.

3. Cocktails and aerated drinks may soothe your taste buds but tea soothes your entire body. It’s warm and calming and well, healthy.

4. Your first kiss means nothing if it’s not with the right person. And the right person doesn’t mean your soulmate or someone who will never break your heart but someone who in that moment loves you as much as you love them.

5. You’ve written over 350 exams and you’ve got a perfect score in some and scored miserably in others but do you remember your 9th grade math score? Do you even remember 9th grade math? Education is so important but not the stress and competitive grading that comes along with it. If you get a low score or even fail, not much will happen – you will get a retest. But if you get ill – mentally or physically, it will have undesired long term effects.

6. In 8th grade your school psychologist told you that you’re one of the few people who walk in life with open arms loving and helping everyone, not because you haven’t bled but because you know you will heal and have the strength to do so. At that point you laughed at her but now, years later you’re loving, accepting and helping in spite of having both, actual and metaphorical scars.
You’re kind and admitting that doesn’t make you conceited.

7. Goodbyes don’t always have to be dramatic. Writing an 800 words message won’t make it hurt any less than an 8 words one. Closure usually has not much to do with the ones who wronged you but with taking your time in dealing with all the stages of grief. Some stage like anger may take only a month but acceptance may take years and that’s okay.

8. Jealousy is a basic human trait. They can be the closest to you and yet envy your happiness and life. Envy is something you too experience and you can be happy for them and be sad for yourself at the same time because so bitter it is to view happiness from someone else’s eyes. You aren’t a horrible human being if you feel like there are better shades of green your grass could be.

9. Read at your own desire and pace.
You don’t have to read particular books to qualify as a bibliophile or read a specific number of books to be a bookworm either. Read what truly interests you and take your time because reading was never a task, don’t make it one now.

10. Money is important. Money can’t buy love but it can buy happiness. But not blood money. Money honestly earned through hard work. That kind of money is good, that kind of money is required. You have a certain standard of living and if you want to maintain that after your parents stop financing you, you must make sure to earn the same. It doesn’t make you a snob or a spoiled brat, it only makes you a human aware of your wants, many of which have turned into needs by now.

11. There are somethings you just never grow out of like bubbles and glitter and your mother’s hot chocolate and hugs. Those are the kind of things that make life bearable when adulting gets too hard. Those are the little things that matter the most.

12. You cry. A lot.
But you don’t cry in front of people for their pity. You don’t cry to manipulate situations. You cry because you accept the pain. You cry because you don’t reject or lock away your emotions. You cry because your mental, emotional and physical self are in sync and that’s healthy. That’s so lovely.

13. Bake cakes. They don’t have to look pretty as long as they taste delicious. Paint canvases. They don’t have to be a master piece as long as all the paint in your hands and face and jeans makes you feel complete. Write more. It doesn’t have to a novel or even be posted online as long as it lets you breathe a little lighter and smile wider.

14. Go for walks alone, sit on the beach without your headphones, look up at the sky without a lover, buy flowers for yourself. Nature is legit free (for the most part). And it’s the richest thing that the world has. Le it bring you peace, let it help you survive.

15. Make home feel home. Sometimes you won’t have your family to make it home. Sometimes you will have to make it home by putting a part of yourself and that means investing the time, energy and money in making it feel yours, in making it feel right. It may not be your ‘dream house’, it may just be a tiny room but it’s yours. Your surroundings play a major role in affecting your mood and vibe.

16. Energy is real.
You may not know much about Science beyond 10th grade but you do know this, e=mc ² which means everything is energy, you are energy and there is positive and negative energy and you can feel it and you experience it in every person you meet, every place you visit, every room you step inside. You can and you must choose to surround yourself with positive energy. What you attract, you do get; what you attract you become.

17. Spend time with yourself. It’s some of the best time you will have. You need to unwind, you need it to re-energize, you need it to focus and you need it for peace. You can go to a cafe by yourself, write, read, meditate, talk to yourself out loud, dance in your underwear, cook and just be.


18. Take care of yourself- no one else can, no one else will. Drink loads of water, there’s a reason why more than half your body is made up of water. Sleep well because staying up all night isn’t something to be proud of, it’s stupid. Don’t skip breakfast because skipping breakfast makes you crave fatty foods for the rest of the day. Stay healthy not because you want to look a certain way but because you want to feel strong and energetic and have an active mind, body and heart. Staying healthy emotionally and mentally is just as important. So let those who want to go, go and never say yes to something your gut wants to scream ‘NO’ to.

19. Love yourself. If you don’t love yourself you will look for other people to love you. If you don’t accept yourself, you will keep seeking other people’s validation and the moment they withdraw it or walk away, you will crumble. And you don’t want to crumble. You want to enjoy the one person’s company you have to live with forever – yourself. Work on being a person you’d love to spend your life with because let’s face it, you don’t have a choice. It’s a long term investment and the only one that will never fail you.

20. In Shakespeare’s words, “To thine own self be true”. In order to love yourself, knowing yourself is very important. And knowing yourself doesn’t mean the adjectives that people use for you or what your zodiac sign says about you. It means what you know in your heart to be your truth.

One more for good luck?

21. You laughed and thought it was very witty when you came across the quote, ‘Don’t take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.’
but god. Can it be any truer? Most things you’re stressing over now won’t even matter 3 years from now. But good days will turn into heart-warming memories that will stay with you even 2 decades later.
Happiness and success are two different things but remember, they aren’t mutually exclusive. At least they don’t have to be.

—  creatingnikki 

straight couples specifically choose bisexual women to prey on because they believe bisexual women are disgusting, impure, and abnormal, and that we’re frothing at the mouth to try out any kinky version of sex. bisexual women who genuinely enjoy casual sex and threesomes are thrown under the bus because straight people assume that their casual enjoyment of sex has a sinful or forbidden quality to it. straight men who fantasize about fucking two women at once, or watching their girlfriends fuck another woman, project that fantasy onto bisexual women precisely because they perceive bisexuality as an experimental orientation plucked and ripened for their needs. they believe that we are “easy” and “available” to them. this is quite literally biphobia at its finest, the intersection of homophobia and misogyny against bisexual women. it’s misogynistic because it sexualizes a woman and strips her of her autonomy and it’s homophobic because it fetishizes and pathologizes a same-gender orientation by likening it to abnormality/kinkiness. but sure, straight couples who do this are actually all polyamorous queers seeking validity. this isn’t a problem of homophobia or misogyny at all! 

there is a reason this doesn’t typically happen to bisexual men, and there is a reason straight men tell their straight girlfriends to go on dating apps and target bisexual women who are specifically looking for a female partner or girlfriend. there is a reason why they expect this to be a one or two time thing and there is a reason why they expect bisexual women to not get attached, to not get emotionally involved, or to not receive anything in return, be it monetary compensation, affection, platonic intimacy, or even acknowledgement. 

What to do when you fell out with your practice

Because I sure as hell needed this post when I did.

1. Realize that it‘s okay. Accept that it happened. Forgive yourself for it.

Maybe life got in the way and you just didn‘t have the time or energy or possibility. Maybe something happened on your path that got you scared, frightened, panicked, or even disgusted so that you had to take a step back and retreat. Maybe your focus simply shifted. Maybe you got bored. Maybe everything just got overwhelming and you weren‘t able to juggle magick and the mundane at the same time. Maybe mental illness got in the way.
No matter what the reason for your fall out was, accept that it happened, forgive yourself for it. Because it‘s okay, life happens in phases, and no matter the reason, how big or how small, it‘s part of your journey and totally fine. These things happen to the best of us, so don‘t blame yourself for it. It really is okay. Pinky promise.

2. Reconnect with your god(s) and/or non-physical friends, if needed.

If you‘re a spirit companion/have spirit friends like me or are devoted to a god or certain deity/ies, your time with them/devotion to them probably fell under the brick as well. If it did, reconnect. I promise chances are they‘ll understand. As I said, life happens, and they know that too. They probably saw what you were going through. Explain what happened to them, apologize, and move on, if they allow it. Just spend more time with them again, greet them good morning and wish them good night again, invite them to join you throughout your day again. I promise, any good relationship will hold, just show that you really are sorry and put in effort to show that you care again. I’m sure they missed you as well so it’s time to make up for the time you lost!

3. Don’t overwhelm and overestimate yourself.

Chances are the longer your fall-out was, the more your “psychic muscles” lost in strength. Your intuition may be a bit more out-of-tune, you may have more trouble hearing/seeing/feeling/sensing spirits and energies. Maybe you have more trouble programing things or adding energy to objects than before. That’s okay! It’s totally fine and normal, just don’t be surprised if it happens and know that with practice you’ll be back to old strength in no time! Until then, start small and work with what you have.

4. Start small, don’t rush it, one step at a time.

Start drawing a daily or weekly card again. Start carrying crystals with you again. Start laying them out under the moon to charge again. Do small rituals like maybe doing some bath magic before you rush head-first into a huge complicated thing again! Again, you don’t want to overwhelm yourself. Also, you want to build a routine again to not risk falling out again.
Some ideas on what to do when building your practice up again:

  • lay crystals, items, water, anything out under the moon/sun to charge 
  • talk to plants
  • draw a daily/weekly card
  • pick a crystal to carry with you throughout the day in the morning
  • say mantras in the morning
  • infuse your tea/coffee with intent
  • send out your energetic sensers when comfortable and at home. slowly but surely
  • meditate. 5 minutes in the evening, 5 minutes in the morning. at least.
  • go for a daily walk at a certain time 
  • look through your grimoire/bos if you have one. write in it again
  • doodle little sigils in your free time
  • and many, many more

5. If needed, make a schedule.

As I said, you may want to build a routine. If those work for you, make a daily or weekly plan. Look up transits and check when you have time, then create your own magical schedule. If need be, set some reminders on your phone. Just try to be disciplined about it for a while so that you get back into your practice smoothly!

6. Reinvent your craft.

You probably changed since you last practiced, or maybe there was a reason IN your practice that caused the fall-out. If so, identify what it was. Reflect on yourself, your practice, your life. How can you make everything run together more smoothly? Maybe you want to focus more on the mundane than the spiritual, and if so that’s totally fine. Adapt your practice in a way that fits and feels good, it’s all yours so feel free to do whatever you want! Maybe you want to shift the focus IN your practice, or maybe you want to stop doing something, maybe start doing something else (instead). 

(Optional) 7. Talk to others. 

Sometimes it is so, so hard to not feel incredibly bad and like you fucked yourself or your life or your relationships up when this happens (and not just in relation to magic but other things as well). Please know that you’re not alone on this and if your own up-lifting thoughts and words are not enough, seek validation outside. I promise that’s not a selfish or vain thing to do, it’s natural and human and you deserve to be told that you’re doing just fine. Go to a trusted friend, family member, maybe blogger, anyone. If you want, you can always come to me. Talk to someone about how things are going now, talk to them about the things you just did to make yourself feel good about doing this. 


💗 No matter what, it’s all good. I promise. These things just happen and there is no reason to blame yourself - please take good care of yourself and know that you come first - magic and everything else second. 
I hope this was useful to some, I know it helped me as I’m just getting out of a fall-out, too. I hope you all have a magical day~! 💗

An amazing thing happens when you stop seeking approval and validation: You find it. People are naturally drawn like magnets to those who know who they are and cannot be shaken!
—  Mandy Hale, Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

if someone is seeking attention, and seem almost desperate for it.. i genuinely don’t get how you legit could be so cruel that you view that as an opportunity to be shitty to them and talk negatively of them.. instead of perhaps coming with some compassion.. because hey..

maybe there is a good fuckin reason that someone is constantly seeking attention and validation from people around them.. maybe it could have to do with years of abuse, familial neglect, having no friends, and being bullied?

just a thought.. and like? if someone isn’t hurting you what’s the big fucking deal?

20 things I learned at 20

1. You can have only one best friend and that best friend can only be you. Because you may come across a dozen lovely people but the only one who can keep the ‘forever’ promise is you.

2. Family is the most important. This is the only love that is truly unconditional and absolutely pure. They love you when you’re 5 and when you’re 18. They love you in your failure and your success. Their love doesn’t increase because it’s already at its maximum right from the beginning, it’s already infinite.

3. Cocktails and aerated drinks may soothe your taste buds but tea soothes your entire body. It’s warm and calming and well, healthy.

4. Your first kiss means nothing if it’s not with the right person. And the right person doesn’t mean your soulmate or someone who will never break your heart but someone who in that moment loves you as much as you love them.

5. You’ve written over 350 exams and you’ve got a perfect score in some and scored miserably in others but do you remember your 9th grade math score? Do you even remember 9th grade math? Education is so important but not the stress and competitive grading that comes along with it. If you get a low score or even fail, not much will happen – you will get a retest. But if you get ill – mentally or physically, it will have undesired long term effects.

6. In 8th grade your school psychologist told you that you’re one of the few people who walk in life with open arms loving and helping everyone, not because you haven’t bled but because you know you will heal and have the strength to do so. At that point you laughed at her but now, years later you’re loving, accepting and helping in spite of having both, actual and metaphorical scars.
You’re kind and admitting that doesn’t make you conceited.

7. Goodbyes don’t always have to be dramatic. Writing an 800 words message won’t make it hurt any less than an 8 words one. Closure usually has not much to do with the ones who wronged you but with taking your time in dealing with all the stages of grief. Some stage like anger may take only a month but acceptance may take years and that’s okay.

8. Jealousy is a basic human trait. They can be the closest to you and yet envy your happiness and life. Envy is something you too experience and you can be happy for them and be sad for yourself at the same time because so bitter it is to view happiness from someone else’s eyes. You aren’t a horrible human being if you feel like there are better shades of green your grass could be.

9. Read at your own desire and pace.
You don’t have to read particular books to qualify as a bibliophile or read a specific number of books to be a bookworm either. Read what truly interests you and take your time because reading was never a task, don’t make it one now.

10. Money is important. Money can’t buy love but it can buy happiness. But not blood money. Money honestly earned through hard work. That kind of money is good, that kind of money is required. You have a certain standard of living and if you want to maintain that after your parents stop financing you, you must make sure to earn the same. It doesn’t make you a snob or a spoiled brat, it only makes you a human aware of your wants, many of which have turned into needs by now.

11. There are somethings you just never grow out of like bubbles and glitter and your mother’s hot chocolate and hugs. Those are the kind of things that make life bearable when adulting gets too hard. Those are the little things that matter the most.

12. You cry. A lot.
But you don’t cry in front of people for their pity. You don’t cry to manipulate situations. You cry because you accept the pain. You cry because you don’t reject or lock away your emotions. You cry because your mental, emotional and physical self are in sync and that’s healthy. That’s so lovely.

13. Bake cakes. They don’t have to look pretty as long as they taste delicious. Paint canvases. They don’t have to be a master piece as long as all the paint in your hands and face and jeans makes you feel complete. Write more. It doesn’t have to a novel or even be posted online as long as it lets you breathe a little lighter and smile wider.

14. Go for walks alone, sit on the beach without your headphones, look up at the sky without a lover, buy flowers for yourself. Nature is legit free (for the most part). And it’s the richest thing that the world has. Le it bring you peace, let it help you survive.

15. Make home feel home. Sometimes you won’t have your family to make it home. Sometimes you will have to make it home by putting a part of yourself and that means investing the time, energy and money in making it feel yours, in making it feel right. It may not be your ‘dream house’, it may just be a tiny room but it’s yours. Your surroundings play a major role in affecting your mood and vibe.

16. Energy is real.
You may not know much about Science beyond 10th grade but you do know this, e=mc ²  which means everything is energy, you are energy and there is positive and negative energy and you can feel it and you experience it in every person you meet, every place you visit, every room you step inside. You can and you must choose to surround yourself with positive energy. What you attract, you do get; what you attract you become.

17. Spend time with yourself. It’s some of the best time you will have. You need to unwind, you need it to re-energize, you need it to focus and you need it for peace. You can go to a cafe by yourself, write, read, meditate, talk to yourself out loud, dance in your underwear, cook and just be.


18.  Take care of yourself- no one else can, no one else will. Drink loads of water, there’s a reason why more than half your body is made up of water. Sleep well because staying up all night isn’t something to be proud of, it’s stupid. Don’t skip breakfast because skipping breakfast makes you crave fatty foods for the rest of the day. Stay healthy not because you want to look a certain way but because you want to feel strong and energetic and have an active mind, body and heart. Staying healthy emotionally and mentally is just as important. So let those who want to go, go and never say yes to something your gut wants to scream ‘NO’ to.

19. Love yourself. If you don’t love yourself you will look for other people to love you. If you don’t accept yourself, you will keep seeking other people’s validation and the moment they withdraw it or walk away, you will crumble. And you don’t want to crumble. You want to enjoy the one person’s company you have to live with forever – yourself. Work on being a person you’d love to spend your life with because let’s face it, you don’t have a choice. It’s a long term investment and the only one that will never fail you.

20. In Shakespeare’s words, “To thine own self be true”. In order to love yourself, knowing yourself is very important.  And knowing yourself doesn’t mean the adjectives that people use for you or what your zodiac sign says about you. It means what you know in your heart to be your truth.

One more for good luck?

21. You laughed and thought it was very witty when you came across the quote, ‘Don’t take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.’
but god. Can it be any truer? Most things you’re stressing over now won’t even matter 3 years from now. But good days will turn into heart-warming memories that will stay with you even 2 decades later.
Happiness and success are two different things but remember, they aren’t mutually exclusive. At least they don’t have to be.

We have our lives in our hands, yet we run around to stop people in their tracks, just to seek for validation that exists in our bones.
—  Lukas W. // Validation