seek validation

20 things I learned at 20

1. You can have only one best friend and that best friend can only be you. Because you may come across a dozen lovely people but the only one who can keep the ‘forever’ promise is you.

2. Family is the most important. This is the only love that is truly unconditional and absolutely pure. They love you when you’re 5 and when you’re 18. They love you in your failure and your success. Their love doesn’t increase because it’s already at its maximum right from the beginning, it’s already infinite.

3. Cocktails and aerated drinks may soothe your taste buds but tea soothes your entire body. It’s warm and calming and well, healthy.

4. Your first kiss means nothing if it’s not with the right person. And the right person doesn’t mean your soulmate or someone who will never break your heart but someone who in that moment loves you as much as you love them.

5. You’ve written over 350 exams and you’ve got a perfect score in some and scored miserably in others but do you remember your 9th grade math score? Do you even remember 9th grade math? Education is so important but not the stress and competitive grading that comes along with it. If you get a low score or even fail, not much will happen – you will get a retest. But if you get ill – mentally or physically, it will have undesired long term effects.

6. In 8th grade your school psychologist told you that you’re one of the few people who walk in life with open arms loving and helping everyone, not because you haven’t bled but because you know you will heal and have the strength to do so. At that point you laughed at her but now, years later you’re loving, accepting and helping in spite of having both, actual and metaphorical scars.
You’re kind and admitting that doesn’t make you conceited.

7. Goodbyes don’t always have to be dramatic. Writing an 800 words message won’t make it hurt any less than an 8 words one. Closure usually has not much to do with the ones who wronged you but with taking your time in dealing with all the stages of grief. Some stage like anger may take only a month but acceptance may take years and that’s okay.

8. Jealousy is a basic human trait. They can be the closest to you and yet envy your happiness and life. Envy is something you too experience and you can be happy for them and be sad for yourself at the same time because so bitter it is to view happiness from someone else’s eyes. You aren’t a horrible human being if you feel like there are better shades of green your grass could be.

9. Read at your own desire and pace.
You don’t have to read particular books to qualify as a bibliophile or read a specific number of books to be a bookworm either. Read what truly interests you and take your time because reading was never a task, don’t make it one now.

10. Money is important. Money can’t buy love but it can buy happiness. But not blood money. Money honestly earned through hard work. That kind of money is good, that kind of money is required. You have a certain standard of living and if you want to maintain that after your parents stop financing you, you must make sure to earn the same. It doesn’t make you a snob or a spoiled brat, it only makes you a human aware of your wants, many of which have turned into needs by now.

11. There are somethings you just never grow out of like bubbles and glitter and your mother’s hot chocolate and hugs. Those are the kind of things that make life bearable when adulting gets too hard. Those are the little things that matter the most.

12. You cry. A lot.
But you don’t cry in front of people for their pity. You don’t cry to manipulate situations. You cry because you accept the pain. You cry because you don’t reject or lock away your emotions. You cry because your mental, emotional and physical self are in sync and that’s healthy. That’s so lovely.

13. Bake cakes. They don’t have to look pretty as long as they taste delicious. Paint canvases. They don’t have to be a master piece as long as all the paint in your hands and face and jeans makes you feel complete. Write more. It doesn’t have to a novel or even be posted online as long as it lets you breathe a little lighter and smile wider.

14. Go for walks alone, sit on the beach without your headphones, look up at the sky without a lover, buy flowers for yourself. Nature is legit free (for the most part). And it’s the richest thing that the world has. Le it bring you peace, let it help you survive.

15. Make home feel home. Sometimes you won’t have your family to make it home. Sometimes you will have to make it home by putting a part of yourself and that means investing the time, energy and money in making it feel yours, in making it feel right. It may not be your ‘dream house’, it may just be a tiny room but it’s yours. Your surroundings play a major role in affecting your mood and vibe.

16. Energy is real.
You may not know much about Science beyond 10th grade but you do know this, e=mc ² which means everything is energy, you are energy and there is positive and negative energy and you can feel it and you experience it in every person you meet, every place you visit, every room you step inside. You can and you must choose to surround yourself with positive energy. What you attract, you do get; what you attract you become.

17. Spend time with yourself. It’s some of the best time you will have. You need to unwind, you need it to re-energize, you need it to focus and you need it for peace. You can go to a cafe by yourself, write, read, meditate, talk to yourself out loud, dance in your underwear, cook and just be.


18. Take care of yourself- no one else can, no one else will. Drink loads of water, there’s a reason why more than half your body is made up of water. Sleep well because staying up all night isn’t something to be proud of, it’s stupid. Don’t skip breakfast because skipping breakfast makes you crave fatty foods for the rest of the day. Stay healthy not because you want to look a certain way but because you want to feel strong and energetic and have an active mind, body and heart. Staying healthy emotionally and mentally is just as important. So let those who want to go, go and never say yes to something your gut wants to scream ‘NO’ to.

19. Love yourself. If you don’t love yourself you will look for other people to love you. If you don’t accept yourself, you will keep seeking other people’s validation and the moment they withdraw it or walk away, you will crumble. And you don’t want to crumble. You want to enjoy the one person’s company you have to live with forever – yourself. Work on being a person you’d love to spend your life with because let’s face it, you don’t have a choice. It’s a long term investment and the only one that will never fail you.

20. In Shakespeare’s words, “To thine own self be true”. In order to love yourself, knowing yourself is very important. And knowing yourself doesn’t mean the adjectives that people use for you or what your zodiac sign says about you. It means what you know in your heart to be your truth.

One more for good luck?

21. You laughed and thought it was very witty when you came across the quote, ‘Don’t take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.’
but god. Can it be any truer? Most things you’re stressing over now won’t even matter 3 years from now. But good days will turn into heart-warming memories that will stay with you even 2 decades later.
Happiness and success are two different things but remember, they aren’t mutually exclusive. At least they don’t have to be.

—  creatingnikki 
Listen to me. Never seek validation from anyone. Learn to love and be kind to your body, mind and soul. Notice there is a vast difference between judging and valuing yourself. Don’t settle for blending into the background of society and doing things simply to gain the approval of others. Never be afraid to speak your mind, never be scared to do what makes you happy, and never feel pressured into changing yourself to be like other people. Strive to be the best version of you you can be. You are your very best friend. Only you can give yourself feelings of self-worth, acceptance, happiness and security. You are beautiful just how you are. This is a temporary life so don’t you dare change for anyone but yourself.
—  e4rthy
i’m no longer in a place where i seek validation or confirmation, that i’m worthy, from someone else. i’ve learned to do that myself.
—  Reyna Biddy

There’s a line from the episode that pierces right through my soul and is delivered so on point. “You paid attention to me.” Because that’s all Jughead craves; the attention. The feeling that somebody is out there looking out for him, caring about him, knowing that he does exist. He’s been invisible all his life; by his parents, his peers, the girl he always loved. And the day comes that one of the most important people in his life, his father, finally sees him, actually sees the real him. He cleans his act, he discusses his problems with him, he wants to be involved in his life, takes an interest in his long-time passion and praises his talent. Jughead seeks validation, seeks the feeling that somebody is listening to what he expresses as a human being. And that’s the biggest betrayal he experiences. Sure, he can’t even grasp the fact that his dad is a killer but deep down that’s what pains him the most; the fact that he was a passer by once again, somebody not worthy enough for people, even his parents, to actully stop and stare. When Cheryl starts hitting him with venom he doesn’t stand there to endure it all for the sake of his father and what’s the right thing to do. He wants to feel the physical pain too, he wants to punish himself for being so foolish as to believe that he would be happy this time. That’s why he lets her pull him and drag him and punch him and he all but flinches but never makes any move to stop her. He is beating himself up for believing in his dad, for believing that Fred actually did care for him, for believing that Betty would always be with someone as pathetic as he is. And that’s the sad mentality that is Jughead Jones, a brilliant and unique kid that wrongfully so needs to work for even a small piece of validation in his life, even from his own damn parents.

i havent had much new readers for my webcomic in a while so i wanted to make a promo post for it!

so it’s a story focusing on a workaholic student, mari, who lives alone, she thinks, till she realizes that she’s been living with a ghost, leena. they become friends and fall in love. it’s a romance & humor comic. 

the comic has non-sexual nudity, a nice amount of cursing, and talk of suicide for a few pages (the page numbers are listed at the pages sidebar)

My apartment is haunted! :o in english

Asunnossani kummittelee! :o suomeksi

read it & then tell the person closest to you to read it too thanks ♥

anonymous asked:

is having a ginormous fat peen a deal breaker for you? yano cuz u short

Anonymous looked up at the sky, not trusting the colour smeared upon the horizon. Horizons could be misleading, they knew. Horizons could convince you it was still daylight, even when the whole of the sky arced above you in a sprawl of midnight. Looking forward was not always enough. Sometimes, you had to look up. 

Directly above Anonymous, the moon cut its teeth into the clouds, drawing blood and bruising the darkness with its waxen light, waning at the edges. It was time. 

They did not have long. The witch had told them, as she reluctantly handed them the bag of herbs, that the spell would only be useful for the minute or so that the moon was at its highest. The minute was upon them. 

Fifty five seconds left. 

Cursing themself for having lost track of time, Anonymous reached into their trouser pocket and pulled out the little drawstring bag. With hands shaking in anticipation, they emptied the contents into the small well they’d dug into the earth all those hours ago, and covered it back over with dirt. Fingers crossed behind their back, they stepped away and waited.

It did not happen immediately. Magic takes time, the witch had said. Magic does not come to you when you ask for it; it comes to you when it’s good and ready. You can cast all the spells you like, scatter all the herbs and make all the offerings, but magic cannot be summoned - only tempted. 

The seconds ticked by, and Anonymous waited.

This had been a long time coming, they reflected. They had waited too long for the taste of power on their lips. They had been too long distant from how it felt to be in control. They had learnt too early their place in the world, and they had too soon come to rue it. The chasm between want and have had grown inexorably bigger since the day they were born, and now they were here. 

The mound of earth did not move. Anonymous thought about the time they had first felt insignificant - the first time they had realised that they stood small in the face of all things - and counted the seconds. 

With ten seconds left before the spell died, the magic came. 

Magic has no face, has no body. It takes no form and it holds no weight. The witch had told Anonymous this herself. Magic simply is; it is because no other word will do, but it is not. It cannot be, and has never been, and yet it is. 

When Anonymous thought about it, it was all rather complicated.

Best, then, not to think at all. Best to give voice to thought and make it speech. 

Anonymous cleared their throat and began. 

“I suppose you’re wondering why I summoned you here - ” 

I was not summoned. 

They flushed, the soundless sound surprising them even though they had been expecting it. Do not fear the voiceless voice, the witch had warned. It speaks, and is silent. The words are only half your own. 

Breathing slowly, they tried again. 

“No, of course not. Sorry. I’m not - I haven’t used magic before.” 

And you still have not. I am not here to be used. Say what you would have, and I will do the same. This is not a service. This is a trade.

“Right. Yes. Sorry.” They inhaled, exhaled. This was the only chance they would have to resolve the conflict that had been the shape of all their life. This was the resolution of aporia; of feeling as though they deserved everything, yet having nothing. Of knowing that they should be free, but being everywhere in chains. Of wanting, and of not having. “I want to feel powerful.” 

In what sense? Power is not all-encompassing. The queen ant is powerful to the workers, but weak to the heel of the boot. What power would you hold? Do you seek to command nations, or to master the arts, or to take another as your own? 

Anonymous considered how best to formulate their response before replying. Precision was key here. The witch had made it clear that magic would grant you what you asked, whether or not it was exactly what you wanted. 

“I’m tired of being silent,” they said eventually. “I’m tired of being unable to say whatever I want. I’m sick to the teeth of thinking all these thoughts - great thoughts, too; thoughts that could topple cities and part seas - and being forced to keep them to myself, all because other people think that their own feelings are more important. Well, what of my feelings? What of feeling inadequate? What of the weight of being told to keep silent? Do they know what that does to a person?”

As they spoke, they could feel their heartbeat rise, pumping and roaring in their ears, in their veins. “Sorry,” they added. “I’m getting carried away. But to answer your question - I want to have the power to speak my mind.”

In all things?

They contemplated it. “Yes. In all things.”

The silence was real for a few moments before it became illusion.

I can help you.

“And will you?” 

Yes. It will require exchange, however.

At these words, Anonymous could hardly contain their excitement. “Anything. I’ll give you anything.” They took their purse out from their other pocket, and held it out towards the mound. “I have money. I have a house, too, but that’s back in town. You mightn’t like it there. My neighbours - ”

I would have your face.

Anonymous faltered. “My what?”

Your face. That is my offer. I will give you unlimited and unprecedented power to speak your mind. All thoughts you have will be given voice, and you will never again be forced to turn away from speaking aloud what you have always been taught to keep silent. In return for this extraordinary power, I would take from you your face, and in so doing I would give myself form and body. You would never again be silent; I would never again be invisible. 

“But wouldn’t I suffer without a face? How would anyone know that it was me who was speaking?” Anonymous asked, wringing their hands around their purse. 

I have named my payment. Now I would name my price. The price of this power is thus: the knowledge that all thoughts you give voice to will be dampened by your lack of face. That everything you ever say to another will be tempered by your lack of identity. That no-one will again know whose thoughts you speak; only that you do speak, and in all things. 

There was nothing for it. They would have to decline. They could not accept these terms. What power came at such a price, after all? What king had ever ruled his country with no name or face? What lover had ever made another theirs with no identity? 

All the times they had been asked to hold their tongue; all the times they had been scolded for speaking their mind; all the times they had uttered the wrong words at the wrong time and had suffered for it: all this had been for nothing. 

Although, Anonymous admitted to themself, the thought did appeal on one front, and one front alone. It was undeniable that a certain freedom was gained by completely giving up one’s identity. After all, who could be held accountable for a deed when the deed was done by one with neither name nor face? Who would they scold when the words that were given were not the words that were wanted? Who would suffer when the things said were not things that people wanted to hear?

Only those who heard them, of course, and not the one who spoke them. 

And immediately, ashamedly, wonderfully, the decision was already made, had perhaps been made years ago. 

“It’s a deal.” 

You agree to the payment and price?

“I do. Take my face, and give me the power I seek.”

The deal is struck.

And then the moon, which had begun to falter at its peak, was suddenly once more at its highest. The minutes had been returned. 

Hand trembling, Anonymous reached up to touch their face, only to find that, of course, there was no face. Where their image had been - the folds of their mouth, the curve of their nose - was now smooth and featureless. There was nothing there at all.

“Are you happy?” came a voice from behind them. 

Anonymous whirled around, and came face to face with their own face, worn by another. “Who are you?” they asked, and a thrill chased up their spine at the realisation that there was no fear behind these words at all. Their voice did not falter. The question was biting, crystalline.

“I am Magic,” replied the impostor, “given form by our deal. Is it to your satisfaction?” It cocked its head inquisitively, Anonymous’ old eyes seeking validation in their new setting, and Anonymous felt powerful. They were looking at their old self - their weaker, voiceless self - and they were free.

Anonymous drew a deep breath in before responding. “is having a ginormous fat peen a deal breaker for you?” they asked.

Magic blinked. “I don’t understand.” 

“yano,” continued Anonymous, “cuz u short.”

“Why are you saying that?” asked Magic, eyes darting left to right in placid uncertainty. “I don’t understand. I gave you what you wanted. You could say anything you wanted, and no-one would ever hold you accountable. You could take a lover with intricately crafted sonnets, bend ears with your scintillating rhetoric, and yet you choose - ”

“is having a ginormous fat peen a deal breaker for you? yano cuz u short,” interjected Anonymous, feeling giddy and drunk with power.

Magic blinked again. “You have the choice of a thousand languages, billions of words - ”

“is having a ginormous fat peen - ”

“Sometimes,” Magic interrupted, “silence is the more powerful weapon after all. I could undo what I have done, but I think it best not to bother. Some people will never learn. I wish you luck with all things, and may you one day find your power useful, for it will not aid you in the pursuit you have chosen.”

With that, Magic was gone, and Anonymous’ face was lost to them forever. Now alone, Anonymous looked gleefully at the small mound of earth that had been their salvation. They thought of all the things they would say tomorrow, and they smiled.

At least, they would have smiled, had they been able.

Far away, Magic rolled its new eyes, and decided to write a sonnet. 

Bum’s Lies and Ch 27 Predictions

There’s been a lot of discussion over Sangwoo’s reactions regarding Bum’s backstory but what has only recently occurred to me (as in I realised it this morning) is that Ch 26 is building up to parallel Ch 5. Understanding that parallel I think, points in some pretty interesting directions for Ch 27 (unless we get another Seungbaetrayal…) 

First off Ch 26 ends with Sangwoo looking over a collapsed Bum - which is honestly not a new thing. The last time Sangwoo found Bum in a similar state he was promoted from the basement to the bedroom. The thing is though, everything that happened in Ch 5 has triggered Sangwoo this chapter. The last post I wrote was about Sangwoo’s reaction to finding out Bum was abused. I’m not going to repeat any of that here because it’s another issue (Sangwoo has multiple issues regarding Bum this chapter). Instead I want to talk about Sangwoo’s rejection of Bum’s love. I know Sangwoo’s feelings towards Bum are a bone of contention within the fandom but I’ve always analysed KS as a bl so y’know… Basically this post is going to analyse the rejection of Bum through the following:

·         Sangwoo’s beliefs concerning Bum’s love

·         Bum’s lies in the face of Sangwoo’s truth.

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