seek validation

i’m no longer in a place where i seek validation or confirmation, that i’m worthy, from someone else. i’ve learned to do that myself.
—  Reyna Biddy
Listen to me. Never seek validation from anyone. Learn to love and be kind to your body, mind and soul. Notice there is a vast difference between judging and valuing yourself. Don’t settle for blending into the background of society and doing things simply to gain the approval of others. Never be afraid to speak your mind, never be scared to do what makes you happy, and never feel pressured into changing yourself to be like other people. Strive to be the best version of you you can be. You are your very best friend. Only you can give yourself feelings of self-worth, acceptance, happiness and security. You are beautiful just how you are. This is a temporary life so don’t you dare change for anyone but yourself.
—  e4rthy
another trans marco perspective

in light of @breastforce’s marco realizations, heres my bit

so when i was a baby Trans™ (a clueless and pure child who wasnt even out to herself) i would actively seek out media thar validated those feelings, but that was in short supply so i would read stuff like ranma1/2 (not to bash ranma1/2 but its hardly good trans rep) or those one-of episodes in cartoons where the guy lead protagonist was transformed into a girl (wacky hijinks ensue, but again its played for laughs, kinda [very] damaging)

i would suck all of this stuff up like a sponge, but it wasnt the good stuff to suck up, but if i had anything REMOTELY as good as the trans marco theory back then id probably be a healthier person now. it’s not the standard “guy in a dress” gag, its a consistent and positive characterization which wouldve been greatly appreciated back then

the marco realizations made me happy cause it looks like we’re finally getting good trans rep and we can see the benefits, if you dont think thats the tightest shit, i implore you to reconsider

ok does it matter at all that riverdale was already in production before the comics of asexual jughead were written? i dont support erasure, but the fact is CW asked for a pilot on January 29th, 2016, and the comic where jughead was canonically confirmed as asexual was one week later. considering filming began about a month afterwards, id figure its safe to say the plot of the first season had already been written by february, and with a filming schedule, how would it be fair to expect them to redo a really principle storyline of the show in that time? is this a valid point or am i being problematic?

It took me a long time to learn that I have the right to feel anything I am feeling. I remember I used to get frustrated or embarrassed if I was angry or hurt, or if something was bothering me. I always felt like there was no reasoning or justification for my feelings. But you know what I’ve learned: that is really not the way it works. You do not have to seek validation for your feelings. They are justified and valid, simply because they exist. I found that belittling my feelings only belittled my self perception and self worth. And when I couldn’t see my own worth, nor could anyone else. You have the right to feel everything you’re feeling. Your pain is valid, your anger is valid, your insecurities are valid. Please don’t let anybody- especially, especially yourself- tell you that your feelings are invalid. And don’t ever apologise for simply being human.

I used to seek validation through others and let them define my worth. I constantly dated boys because i needed someone to love me since i couldn’t love myself. Unfortunately they never really loved me and I got my heart broken a lot…until I eventually realized that the only person’s opinion that matters is my own and that the person you’re with is supposed to compliment you, work with you and be by your side but never ever complete you.
—  Be my partner in crime, not my knight in shining armour - Jess Amelia

There is nothing in this world of perception which you can really call your own - nothing; yet, there remains the habit of self-identifying with whatever you perceive. You must give up this habit. As long as you perceive yourself to be something, a thing among things, you are perceived existing in time and space, short-lived, vulnerable and anxious to survive and increase a perception of self-worthiness.  You flap around like a flag seeking validation, feeling justified or offended depending on the direction of the wind. This is bondage. Know yourself beyond time and space, beyond any perception and disengage from them. They are no more than a play on the stage, or a picture on the screen. You can observe them, enjoying them, but remain unmoved. When in contact with self-knowledge at the point of here and now, you will be free and afraid no longer. -Nisargadatta Maharaj